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Tito Ortiz Rumorwatch: Now It’s a Neck Injury

(Did anyone else just get a great idea for a buddy cop movie?)

Do you know what today is? Well, yeah, it’s St. Patrick’s Day, which means that for at least one evening you can puke on the sidewalk outside of your favorite bar without people judging you, but aside from that. Today is a brand new day from yesterday. That means it only makes sense that we get a new Tito Ortiz rumor to force us back to that inevitable question: why do we have to keep talking about this guy?

The newest report comes from Five Ounces of Pain, and it claims that “multiple herniations in the neck” forced Ortiz off “The Ultimate Fighter” and out of his fight with opposing TUF 11 coach Chuck Liddell. Sound familiar?

So why would a neck injury necessarily mean that Ortiz couldn’t finish his stint as a coach, which, “Rampage” Jackson effectively demonstrated, can be a very low impact job if you want it to be? We have no idea, just like we have no idea how much truth there might be to this story.

Just yesterday we heard Dave Farra telling Frank Mir that it was a shoulder injury, and Ortiz himself has only commented on his struggles with the flu (BTW, dude lost 15 pounds while in the hospital, but he’s home safe now). In short, we don’t know what to believe anymore, but the frequency of various injury rumors leads us to believe that something happened to him. Now it’s just a matter of whether we can still work up the energy to continue caring about what that something was.

Cagepotato Comments

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LET IT RAIN- March 18, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Dana is MitriOWNING us so we don't know what to expect.
Edith- March 18, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Dear Tito, Recruiting your fellow fighters into your porn empire is retirement gold. Love Edith.
Yeti Stomp- March 18, 2010 at 9:56 am
@ Steampunk: Bwahahahahahaha! Good one.

@ Everyone else: I suggested in the past that we could resolve all Tito issues forever by dropping him into the pit of molten lava. Yes, I said "the" pit and not "a" pit - because I have already prepared the pit and the lava. I even widened the opening for Ortiz' massive pumpkinhead.

Also, I'm going to say what everyone is thinking: since War Machine has made it back into the media, and Tito likes to be around porn stars, let's have Tito and the artist formerly known as Koppenhaver ass fuck each other to the death. Whoever survives, wins. And then gets dropped into the lava pit.

Either way, any variance on my scenario(s) will end well for everyone, as long as we remember to do the lava pit thing at the end. :)
Shank Murwyn- March 18, 2010 at 7:55 am
Michael, Michael, Michael...Tisk, tisk. When you shit in to someones mouth after arse-raping them, at least have the courtesy to wipe him clean around the mouth when you´re done. That´s some shameful shit! I mean, look at that poor latino kid with that surrealy mishapen head...
Run Forest Run- March 18, 2010 at 5:25 am
That's a beautiful chewmanspoo ya got there, Tito.
Ballentine- March 17, 2010 at 11:22 pm
PLEASE PLEASE bring the ban back on Tito. It was so nice. I would rather read 100 posts about fighters bringing their "old" selfs back than ONE more of this douche bag.
Clue-by-Four- March 17, 2010 at 10:46 pm
@Goog: Nice!
Clue-by-Four- March 17, 2010 at 10:44 pm
When your head spends as much time up your ass as Tito's does, multiple cervical herniations can't really be avoided unless you're one of those 8 year old Chinese contortionists with a rubber skeleton.
Unabomberman- March 17, 2010 at 10:29 pm
Tito got Irvin'd...

What else is there to say?
Deadletter- March 17, 2010 at 9:34 pm
Tito ban is a must have! dude's a douche! and i'm from Ireland, so that's pretty much the only time i'll use the word 'douche' in my whole life! Don't wanna see his fat head anymore!
fiveforfive- March 17, 2010 at 9:14 pm
THEORY: Maybe some twist in the shows new format involves switching coaches halfway through from Tit0/chuck to randy/franklin.

LetMeStickItInYourRua- March 17, 2010 at 8:16 pm
I would risk having Tito punch me in the face just to yell "Let me tell you how you're feeling right now" as he walked by.
mackojr- March 17, 2010 at 7:56 pm
Who knows what his problem is. Don't worry he's tell us what happened the next time he gets beat down. because as we all know Tito has never lost because he isn't a well rounded fighter. Noooo always a back, neck, shoulder knees and toes knees and toes!
LetMeStickItInYourRua- March 17, 2010 at 6:43 pm
Tito will disappear for like 6 months and his remains will be found deep inside the cavern that is Jenna Jameson's vagina. Speaking of Jameson's it's St. Patty's Day. TIME TO GET DRUNK!
cecils_pupils- March 17, 2010 at 6:36 pm
I gotta give a "Well Done, Gentlemen" to both El Guapo and Goog... nice work, I laughed hard! :)
montanamonster- March 17, 2010 at 6:34 pm
The casting couch for the next Celebrity Rehab season or else some kind of sad, sick, "stud on stud"independent film".
2phresh- March 17, 2010 at 5:57 pm
the picture above makes em look like they were meant to be!
Viva Hate- March 17, 2010 at 5:56 pm
I can just see Tito's next statements toward Chuck, ""Chuck, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"
Goog- March 17, 2010 at 5:24 pm
"I tattooed my fathe, beat the pith out of Robin Giventh, and thquandered over 300 million dollarth and I'm thtill not the biggest douchebag in thith photo."
Punchmeintheface- March 17, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Lmao! Comment of the week.
Randy Pan- March 17, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Good lord, Ortiz needs to get his ass kicked. Ortiz and Jameson's children are doomed to a lifetime of suckling fame's bitter teet, all the while never realizing that same milk of celebrity turned their mother into a sex-worker and their father into a mush-brained retard. Not that there's anything wrong with being a sex-worker or a mush-brained retard, but c'mon, those kids are going to be fucked up.
Miles- March 17, 2010 at 5:10 pm
LOL he looks fucking retarded with a fumanchu
Seoul Brother- March 17, 2010 at 5:01 pm
"Ohhh my neck! Ohh my back! Ohh my neck and my back!"

Umm Titty-toe, the "Friday" defense won't hold much weight with Dana.
daeyeth- March 17, 2010 at 4:51 pm
"...why do we have to keep talking about this guy?"

Do us a favor: don't.
Dante- March 17, 2010 at 4:22 pm
El Guapo for the win.