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Tokyo Five Caption Contest: There Can Be Only One Champion

After frantically skimming through the 473 (!) entries that came in for this week’s caption contest, we’re happy to announce a winner. So who will pick up the duffel bag stuffed full of gear from Tokyo Five? We can’t tell you that just yet. First, the honorable mentions:

punchguyinface: When it comes to spewing crazy nonsense, FOX News is the champion, but I’m the best!

BigPhil: I heard the same guy using Chael’s Twitter account was the same guy using his steroids.

P2: "Why am I not wearing a tie? Well, I was getting dressed this morning, really dominating my outfit. The shirt, the pants, the shoes, the jacket: perfect. Just like I practiced. But when it came to the last couple minutes and putting on my tie, I made a rookie mistake. It tightened up, and I woke up on my bedroom floor without a belt."

hotsaucemonster: Cheer up, Chael. There are FAR worst things on chat roulette

FlashinLeather: "Yes you heard me correctly, Lance Armstrong’s cancer gave me steroids"

BigShig: "This isn’t going to be a war. This is going to be a one sided pounding and I am swinging the syringe."

danomite: well, enough about that phony Lance Armstrong giving himself cancer. I’m here to tell you all that I think homosexuality is an abomination! As congressman I will fight to keep same sex marriage illegal, I will wipe out prostitution in Oregon, I’ll vote for mandatory life sentences for drug users and I will outlaw all forms of gambling in the state. Now, is this interview over? I have to go blow a guy for crack because I lost all my money betting on myself to beat anderson silva.

grappler0000: …and if you believe that, I’ve got a house to sell you.

And the winner is

TCB Mike: Screencap or not, it’s nice to see Sonnen’s mouth not moving.

Congrats, Mike! Send your name, address, and clothing/footwear sizes to, and we’ll get you hooked up. As for the honorable mentions, e-mail us your name, address, and shirt size and we’ll send you a CagePotato t-shirt as soon as we get around to it. Thanks to everyone who entered, and special thanks to Tokyo Five for making this possible. Check ‘em out at and show some love…

Cagepotato Comments

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Ballkick- September 25, 2010 at 7:02 am

I must agree the plot is pretty thin now that you have clarified things. So as I promised I will now "shut up"
Ascerendant- September 25, 2010 at 12:07 am
@Ballkick: I don't think the plot is very thick, even if they all come up as living in the US. What's the percentage of US readers on here? Probably quite high. Plus: I live in germany and I got my CP shirt for comment of the week quite quickly. And my guess would be, that for this contest CP doesn't have to come up with shipping themselves since they just pass on your info to T5 and have them ship stuff out (at least I gather that from the way things were phrased by CP).
Loretta Cunt- September 24, 2010 at 4:55 pm
not to hate but i think they are all pretty weak, not that mine was any better
MoTropolis- September 24, 2010 at 2:53 pm
I havent received my shirt for Comment of the week over a month ago, but I didnt think what I won it for was that funny, so Im not complaining. I do agree that a new comment of the week contest should be held this week so I can actually earn a tee for my King Hippo reference.
mt59801- September 24, 2010 at 2:46 pm
I had to channel the spirit of sonnen for mine and it was funny......congrats TCB because the humorless editors here think you between their bouts of chronic dick eating.
Ballkick- September 24, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Thanks for your info BigShig,.......the plot thickens.....
danomite- September 24, 2010 at 2:06 pm
you know you guys don't have to pick just one of my captions, since they're all hilarious. just kidding, i'm surprised any of mine got up there this time. You guys always seem to pick the one that i don't think is the best. Oh well, i guess that's why it pays to write down every dumb idea that comes to my head.

So should I send another email with my address or are you going to just send both shirts together since YOU NEVER SENT ME THE FIRST ONE!!!
ghostboner- September 24, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Tokyo 5 gear actually looks usable, unlike that Throwdown bag of shit from last contest. That one should have been called "Throwdown: What you will do with this bag of doosh wear the second it touches your hand".

Kudos to all you goat lovin CP'ers, you guys had some funny captions for this one. P2 and leatherwearingflasher were my favs.
BigShig- September 24, 2010 at 1:47 pm
US of A. California to be exact.
Ballkick- September 24, 2010 at 1:36 pm
@ Miles & @steampunk22

They will not let us pick the winner, I firmly believe they need to eliminate any foreigners from the winners list so they don't have to spring for any shipping outside of the US.
Not to take anything away from the winner or the others above, but I am positive they all reside in the US.

If everyone listed above would be so kind as to let us all know which country they reside, I think that would prove my point.....or shut my mouth one or the other, how bout it punchguyinface, BigPhil, P2, hotsaucemonster, FlashinLeather, BigShig, danomite, grappler0000, and TCB Mike,...what country do you live in?

BTW I would have voted for BigShig or FlashinLeather
deco08- September 24, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Jajajaja what a bunch of sore losers (including me, damn you TCB Mike)
Viva Hate- September 24, 2010 at 1:17 pm
I agreee, we SHOULD!
KarmaAteMyCat- September 24, 2010 at 1:09 pm
most of those sucked.
steampunk22- September 24, 2010 at 1:03 pm
@Xerxes LOL
@Viva sha-ZAM, son. We SHOULD have a comments of the week. But you know, where funny comments are picked. ;P
GSP for Prime Minister- September 24, 2010 at 12:49 pm
winner should have been either hotsaucemonster or flashinleather..
Xerxes- September 24, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Caption contest or not, it's nice to see no effort was put into deciding the winner.
topdog- September 24, 2010 at 12:43 pm
@ RwilsonR Very Bibiano Fernandesque of you. CP pay the man! Are you waiting on a loan to?
Ascerendant- September 24, 2010 at 12:37 pm
If the comission would sanction it and Tokyo Five came up with more stuff for CP to move, I'd fight TCB Mike right now!

Well...guess nobody recognized my awesome "The Wrestler" reference. Rookie mistake to go with Aronofsky. Whaddaya say...immediate rematch?
RwilsonR- September 24, 2010 at 12:33 pm
@ Viva - I'm still waiting on my t-shirt from the last Comments of the Week win, so we can't have another until I can proudly don CP attire everywhere I go.
topdog- September 24, 2010 at 12:30 pm
@Viva Hate Word Son!!!
Viva Hate- September 24, 2010 at 12:28 pm
You know what would be awesome right now? Comments of the week, WORD!
Fried Taco- September 24, 2010 at 12:27 pm
I don't remember what mine were, but they were funnier. I guess I'll have to go buy my own Tokyo Five crap and give it to myself. Again.
topdog- September 24, 2010 at 12:27 pm
@Kimbosbread I think it was on page 6.
Kimbos Bread- September 24, 2010 at 12:25 pm
@ topdog

what page was yours on?
Kimbos Bread- September 24, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Agreed. P2's has something the rest of 'em didn't have...humor (with a little bit of brilliance mixed in).

And now, all he's getting is a crumby CP shirt to use as a du-rag, instead of a bag full of Matt Serra's shirts.