(Wait, so if he isn’t banging Patrcyja, who is he banging? Uh oh.)

Grab a cup of coffee and settle in…

— UFC ring girl Arianny Celeste gets a crash course in BJJ. Yes, it’s hot. (MMA Rated)

— Nate Diaz vs. Josh Neer is the official headlining bout of the next UFC Fight Night (September 17th, Omaha); Mac Danzig, Clay Guida, Houston Alexander, Joe Lauzon, and Ed Herman are also on the card. Not sure what Neer has done to deserve a main event spot, but hey, Joe Silva works in mysterious ways. (ufc.com)

— In one of the preview videos on the official “Seek and Destroy” website, Dana White says Roger Huerta and Kenny Florian “have hearts the size of Tito’s fuckin’ head.” (87.ufc.com)

— Contrary to previous horrified speculation, Tim Sylvia is not banging Patrcyja Mikula. (MMAyou)

— Come on, you knew that Affliction wasn’t just going to use a regular ring for their totally Xtreme debut event. (BloodyElbow)

— Frank Trigg‘s next fight will be against Makoto Takimoto (4-4) at Sengoku IV, which goes down August 24th in Saitama, Japan. (Nightmare of Battle)

— Edith Labelle adores The Notebook, has a Yorkie named Chico, and burps very loudly when she’s alone. And knowing is half the battle. (Men’s Fitness)

— The Association of Boxing Commissions was just kidding about their changes to the Unified Rules of MMA. (Fightlinker)

— Security-tape beating of the day: pizza shop employee vs. robber = large FAIL with double anchovies. (Holy Taco)

— Budweiser is now owned by foreigners. (Wall Street Fighter)