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‘TUF 10′ Episode 1 Recap: Halloween Comes Early

The tenth season of The Ultimate Fighter kicked off last night after UFC Fight Night 19, and thank God there are no members of the Browning family involved this time. We won’t bother recapping the first few minutes of the show, which you’ve already seen. Suffice it to say that the trash-talk between coaches Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans comes early and often. Fighter evaluations begin, with Greg Jackson helping Rashad determine who the mentally toughest fighters are by watching them hit heavy bags. James McSweeney and Brendan Schaub are actually teammates of Evans back in Albuquerque, and Rashad wants them on his TUF squad.

Rampage’s right-hand man during the show is Tiki Ghosn, who you may have seen in Danavlogs giving/receiving surprise slaps to the balls. Rampage thinks the guys need to spar and wrestle with each other to get an accurate sense of their skills. His verdict? "Roy Nelson has a big-ass belly. We checked him out, and he’s fat." Also, he starts calling Darrill Schoonover "titties." "Let’s see whatchu got, titties," he says. "Don’t bounce like that, you’ll distract me with them titties." Come on, man, gynecomastia is no laughing matter.

Interestingly, Kimbo Slice seems to handle Roy Nelson fairly easily in their sparring sessions, though Rampage notices that Kimbo’s ground skills are sub-par. Still, his takedown defense might make up for it.


After the workouts, Greg Jackson runs through the guys he likes, but Rashad already has his mind made up: He’s taking McSweeney first. "Alright, you’re the boss," says Greg, with a note of annoyance in his voice. (Doesn’t feel good to be the one taking orders, does it?) Rashad wins the coin toss and opts for first fighter-pick. The team selections go down like this:

Team Rashad: James McSweeney, Brendan Shaub, Justin Wren, Jon Madsen, Roy Nelson, Darrill "Titties" Schoonover, Matt Mitrione, Mike Wessel
Team Rampage: Kimbo Slice, Abe Wagner, Demico Rogers, Wes Sims, Scott Junk, Wes Shivers, Marcus Jones, Zak Jensen

Notes on the selections: Roy Nelson gets picked ninth overall? These guys must not have been IFL fans. It’s also a suprise that Marcus Jones, who’s by far the most physically imposing member of the cast, is picked 14th — though judging from his near-death during a cardio workout later in the show, that seems about right. Rampage tried to pick the cameraman before Zak Jensen. Wes Sims tells us: "I was the only man to defeat Frank Mir on two separate occasions. And I never let truth get in the way of a good story." Justin Wren wants to take out the "street king," Kimbo Slice. Matt Mitrione wants Marcus because his enormous head provides a big target.

With control of the first matchup, Rampage chooses his second pick, Abe Wagner, to go against Rashad’s fourth pick, Jon Madsen. It seems like Quinton is trying to exploit the size difference. Wagner towers over Madsen, who probably shouldn’t be competing at heavyweight. But Rashad approves of the choice: "You put my #1 wrestler against someone who doesn’t have any ground game at all. Thank you."

Madsen works out at H.I.T. with Robbie Lawler and Matt Hughes, but doesn’t have a lot of heavyweights to train with over there. His gameplan is to take Wagner down and work his ground-and-pound. Wagner is the director of finance and operations at "a fairly large company," so fighting’s not his whole life. He was a mechanical engineering major in college. To prove his intelligence, Rampage asks him what 10 times 2 is, and Wagner nails it. Wagner is also a nervous vomiter, something he does before every fight, including the one against Madsen.

And it’s time to throw down. From across the cage, Wagner asks Madsen if he wants to touch gloves when they come out, and Madsen doesn’t respond. "Touch his face with your fist," Rampage says. They touch gloves anyway.

Round 1: Madsen scores with a left hook and shoots for a takedown. The GnP starts immediately, with Wagner pressed against the fence. Wagner tries to lock Madsen’s body down, and Madsen gets in some shots to body. Wagner tries to set up a triangle choke from from the bottom, but Madsen escapes. Madsen starts landing bigger shots, and Wagner is bloodied. Madsen drops some elbows. The scene turns gory as a pool of blood accumulates under Wagner, pumping out of a nasty gash on his head. The bell finally saves him, and the Octagon looks like a crime scene.

Round 2: Madsen shoots and gets the takedown, but doesn’t do anything with his position so Steve Mazzagatti quickly stands them up. Madsen takes Wagner down again, and pretty much just rests on him. Wagner kicks him off, but Madsen gets right back on top. Another standup. Wagner lands a right hand, and yet another takedown. He swings weakly from the top, gassed. Mazzagatti stands ‘em. Madsen with another takedown, and he lays on top until the final horn. The scores are 20-16, 20-17, 20-17, all for Jon Madsen, who wins, but doesn’t look that impressive. Rashad disagrees: "You looked beautiful." Rampage doesn’t want to see his guys touch gloves with anybody from now on. 1-0, Team Rashad.

On the next episode: Kimbo tries to shore up his ground game, and Rashad chews out Big Country for screwing around.

Comments

  1. J-Dog Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 06:56


    That gash on Abe was like a goat vagina. Getting ready to receive a lidocaine injection, Abe asks "is it gonna hurt?". Doc: "Yeah it's gonna hurt". That type of honesty is refreshing. None of this "you'll feel a little pinch" or "it's like a bee sting". Nope, it's gonna hurt. And that shit does hurt like hell.
  2. jimbonics Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 06:58


    Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up Abe! Get up! Get up! He's doing the same thing, Abe! Get up! Get up Abe! Abe, he's doing the same thing, Get up! Get up! Get up Abe! That's some fine coaching 'Page.
  3. Randle McMurphy Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 06:59


    What you all might not be aware of is Madsen fucked the vagina he created on big Abe's forehead immediately after the fight. Apparently there wasn't enough time to broadcast that part.
  4. Fedor vs. Bas Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 07:00


    That was an AWFUL fight. God I hope the other guys have some cardio or don't just lay on each other. Horrible start to the season unless you got a kick out of the huge gash and the blood.
  5. Myles Kilometers Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 07:02


    @J-Dog - Goat vagina's rarely bleed that much.
  6. tgilaura Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 07:10


    i am still kind of nauseous. with delight. what a bloody evening.
  7. IRISHLOBO Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 07:10


    Somewhere in a Nevada prison, OJ Simpson was heard to say "Jesus Christ, that's a lot of blood!"
  8. Mike Milbury Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 07:18


    Good recap. However, some minor constructive criticism: Get a capture card already. Still photos from point-and-shoot camera are so ghetto.
  9. C-Bus Allstar Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 07:23


    "It seems like Quinton is trying to exploit the size difference. Wagner towers over Madsen, who probably shouldn't be competing at haveyweight. But Rashad approves of the choice: "You put my #1 roster against somene who doesn't have any ground game at all. Thank you." That should say "You put my #1 WRESTLER against someone who doesn't have any ground game at all. Thank you." Just sayin'.
  10. Fight Fan Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 07:47


    There was ground and pound in the first half of the first round (when the cut occured), after that, the fat boy was gassed and it was textbook lay and pray.
  11. GEE-yuh-TEEN Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 07:57


    I wonder if Abe is going to Finance the Operation needed to close that canyon in his head...
  12. BigBear145 Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 07:58


    That guy shouldnt have been there, end of story. He gave up in the first round and he was one of the worst fighters i have ever seen.
  13. Justin Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 08:02


    Doc: "There seems to be a fracture." Abe: "You can see my skull?" (scared) Doc: "Affirmative." It went down something like that but either way, it was hilarious. Head Wound Harry probably won't be replacing any injured fighters.
  14. kid nickels Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 08:05


    I think it's worth mentioning that the reason Rampage doesn't want to see his guys touch gloves with anybody from now on, is because at the start of round 2, Madsen went for the glove touch and then immediately shot for the takedown. An incredibly cheap move especially since he was already winning the fight and didn't need an extra advantage. Screw that guy.
  15. Hamma Fist Elbow Bam-Bam Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 08:06


    Okay, worst TUF fighter: Andy Wang, Monstuh Lobstuh, Jules Broowhatever his name was, or this guy?
  16. ArmFarmer Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 08:15


    The dude got put up against a guy twice his size and threw him around like a rag doll and demolished him from the top for 6 minutes.. you guys need to give the lay n pray shit a rest he completely dominated that fight. I could understand if it was just takedowns and no damage or agression, but how can anyone say he wasn't doing damage once it got to the ground? He turned him into a bloody mess. Seriously a fight goes to the ground and isn't immediately ended with a tko or sub and everyone starts screaming lay n pray. Same thing with the Maynard fight.. Maynard boxed with him for 2 rounds, took him down in the 3rd with a little gnp and position advancing, then damn near broke his arm clean off and everyones still giving gray shit. MMA fans are hard to please..
  17. Socal Tot Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 08:16


    Madsen- Enjoy your first and last "UFC" victory. That first fight was weak! Granted, that was one nasty gash opened up on Abe's forehead. I really hope this season is not all about big guys with no ground game getting taken down by undersized wrestlers with no stand up game. As somebody said earlier, neither one of these guys belong in the UFC. I'd like to see Madsen execute that same game plan on any of the existing UFC Heavies. He would get stuffed and knocked the fuck out. So to recap, Abe was worthless and Madsen is too undersized and undertalented to go anywhere.
  18. Socal Tot Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 08:20


    @Kid Nickels- Yes I did see that cheating son of a bitch pull that shit. Madsen is a piece of shit.
  19. Strife Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 08:23


    @ArmFarmer But in the second round it was just takedowns and no damage....
  20. cdlaforc Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 08:34


    Round 2 was classic lay and pray. It wouldn't be/look so bad if he was actually working for something or if anything besides his wrestling looked technical. It was just a sloppy, boring fight, and anyone with descent striking or bjj would have killed them both at the same time.
  21. Titos Head Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 08:48


    @jimbonics absolutely right...from what i saw...Rashad is a far better coach.
  22. netterbog Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 08:49


    Is there any place to watch the episodes online? I tried Hulu & Spike, but only got excerpts...
  23. NateGetsIrate Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 09:03


    Thank you, Kid Nickels! I can't believe CP completely overlooked that cheap-ass move. And I noticed another time in the 2nd when before Mazzagati had a chance to say "fight" (right after one of the stand ups), Madsen was already in mid-pounce. WTF!? After this episode, it's pretty clear how the rest of the season is gonna go. Let's see... Rampage's coaching versus Greg Jackson's coaching. It's like a Mensa candidate being challenged to a spelling bee by a kid with Down's syndrome.
  24. Randle McMurphy Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 09:03


    @socal tator tot Madsen was instructed by his corner to execute a certain gameplan and he did. Most with an iq above the mildly retarded range would consider this smart fighting. As far as talent the kid is a D2 national champ. I would agree he hasn't displayed any striking or sub skills yet, but as i pointed out earlier he was given a gameplan and he stuck to it.
  25. Fight Fan Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 09:19


    @ Farmer That was one case where it was definitely lay and pray. The aggression from the top ended by the last minute of the first round. Nothing but catching a breath after that. I'm against the "lay and pray" bullshit too when it's used to describe every fight that goes to the ground, but in this case, it is what it is. Example: Madsen on Wagner = lay and pray Maynard on Huerta = not lay and pray
  26. OpShut Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 09:39


    @ kid nickels - Exactly, that was a pussy move right there...F Madsen.
  27. MMAMoneyLine Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 09:57


    Why didn't Rashad choose to pick the first 2 fights? Rampage said he was taking Kimbo first (someone Rashad didn't want), so essentially it would have been exactly like a #1 pick for Rashad. I don't get it...
  28. ArmFarmer Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 10:18


    I dont know I just saw it as complete and utter dominance and text book execution of a good game plan, but I guess it's a matter of opinion. He crushed the dude without taking any unecessary risks or any damage which under the TUF circumstances is important so I think he did just fine. The maynard fight though, no way that was a lay n pray. Also, I completely agree the glove tap takedown was very unsportsmanlike.
  29. munche Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 11:39


    I';m not sure why everyone is saying how these guys can't hang with top level UFC talent...of course they can't! They use TUF like a farm team to build up talent. They don't need to hang with Brock Lesnar after this, they need to hang on the undercard of a UFN, then the main card of a UFN, then the undercard of a PPV, etc etc. For the people saying that homedude won't go anywhere because he's just a wrestler with no other skill, remember Josh "the Blanket" Koscheck on season 1? He sucked at everything other than wrestling, but he seems pretty successful and well rounded these days. These guys are up and comers, is that really hard to understand?
  30. macmac Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 12:46


    @ irishlobo: Funny as hell and so coincidental as I am reading Christopher Darden's book about the OJ murder trial. What a F*cking piece of shit OJ is! Second time to read the book but I can still get fired up about what an injustice that trial was, how Cochran and Kardashian both got what they had coming to them (Karma) and how many idiots there are in juries pulled out of the ghetto of LA!!!
  31. Socal Tot Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 02:24


    @ Randle McMurphy- Call me a retard all you want if it makes you feel better. You just showed your true character by defending a cheater. Was cheating part of the master game plan? Madsen may be a good wrestler, but he did not display any MMA skills that will help him in a division that has monsters like Lesnar, Carwin and Velasquez. Madsen man handled Abe (cheating aside), but he won't be finishing this season a winner.
  32. tallkitchenbags Says:

    Thu, 09/17/09 - 03:35


    because the game is rigged. kimbo ain't going to fight right away. we tune in to see him lose. no eyeballs no sponsors. this is TV, remember?
  33. Bootylam Says:

    Mon, 09/21/09 - 09:38


    That bullshit is why you ONLY touch gloves when the ref says its time at the start. This extra stupid touch before each round is risky and unnecessary. Fuck Gamburyan, too.
  34. urlman cow Says:

    Tue, 04/08/14 - 02:04


    The Birch of the Shadow... I believe there may well become a number of duplicates, but an exceedingly helpful list! I've tweeted this. Quite a few thanks for sharing!...

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