(Schaub vs. Madsen stoppage, via bothmiddlefingers)

Matt Mitrione is still bitching about his alleged brain damage. He says a doctor’s visit revealed that he has some minor swelling in the brain, which turned into a migraine. As a result, he’s a little slow and it’s taking a little longer for him to say things. Trevor Wittman calls horseshit — swelling of the brain is life-threatening, and the doctor wouldn’t just send him back to the house. Coach Rashad still can’t get a clear read on if Mitrione really wants to continue fighting; he has to want it for himself more than his coaches want it for him. James McSweeney — who’s scheduled to fight Mitrione in the third quarterfinal match — feels that Mitrione is just playing games, and in his book, Meathead just went from "rat" to "two faced little bitch without a heart."

While rolling with Demico Rogers, Kimbo Slice tweaks his knee. He’d obviously be the first fighter to return if Mitrione has to withdraw from the competition, but Coach Rampage is worried that McSweeney would focus on the bum joint with kicks. (In Kimbo’s charming personal dialect, McSweeney is a "tree chopper.") Later, a doctor tells Kimbo that he’s missing some cartilage, but Kimbo won’t get a cortisone shot because big needles freak him out. He suffers through an ice bath outside the TUF house, while his housemates laugh at his agony.


Brendan Schaub is fighting Jon Madsen next. Schaub isn’t worried about Madsen’s standup game, but he is concerned about stopping the takedown. Rashad comes over to help Schaub with some takedown defense, and Roy Nelson calls Rashad out for "coaching" — something he promised he wouldn’t do now that all his guys are fighting each other. However, Evans later spends a lot of time drilling takedowns with Madsen. "Wrestlers stick together," says an annoyed Brendan Schaub.

And it’s time for the coaches’ challenge! It is not click-clack, unfortunately. It is beach volleyball, one of the whitest sports on Earth. (Though Rampage does appreciate them little shorts the girls wear.) ‘Page will be paired up with White Shadow, while Rashad’s wingman will be Mike Van Arsdale.

The games are surprisingly competitive and well-played. Team Rampage takes the first round 15-8, but Team Rashad finds their groove in the second round, and wins 15-10. Dana White observes that MVA "starts acting like Maverick from Top Gun." Team Rashad wins the final set 15-13, earning himself $10,000, as well as $1,500 for every member of his team. Rashad starts fucking with Rampage, offering to let his rival touch the money, and Rampage asks his team if they’d rather have 1,500 bucks, or the pleasure of seeing him knock Rashad the hell out. They vote for the knockout. Good luck claiming your prize, fellas.

Rashad tries to get a final answer from Matt Mitrione about his condition, and Mitrione says he feels like he’s being forced to fight, which couldn’t be further from the truth as far as Rashad is concerned. Mitrione says he’s confused. "I just want this show to be over so I can go back home and get back to my normal life," he explains. Translation: It would be great if nobody hit me in the head anymore.

Rashad brings in Dana White, who gives the "nobody’s ever 100%, fuckers" speech, and explains that he’d never force anybody to fight. Dana tells us that real fighters are invincible in their minds, and Mitrione lacks that kamikaze quality.

It’s go time. James McSweeney and Darrill Schoonover are once again recruited as a cornerman, and James gets into his familiar slap-the-shit-out-of-the-fighter routine with Brendan Schaub. "Now go get your fucking victory, nothing less," McSweeney orders.

Round 1: Madsen tries to tap gloves, and Schaub refuses. Madsen shoots to clinch and Schaub shakes him off. Both are hesitant to engage for a while, outside of a few right-hand jabs from Madsen. Madsen shoots and slams Schaub to the mat, getting into side control, then half-guard. But he doesn’t produce much offense from the top, and referee Josh Rosenthal stands them up. Madsen shoots again, getting Schaub to one knee, but Schaub regains his footing. They clinch against the cage, and Schaub lands some body punches and a knee. Schaub is warned for grabbing Madsen’s shorts after multiple warnings for fence-grabbing throughout the round. Madsen slams him down again, and moves to side control. Madsen gets in some shots to Schaub’s ribs and a big punch to the face as the round ends. 10-9 Madsen. In the corner, McSweeney tells Schaub "He’s broken! It’s all your game!", which doesn’t really seem to be the case at this point.

Round 2: Madsen shoots, and Schaub defends, firing some punches in the clinch. They separate. Madsen is noticeably tiring, dropping his hands and slowly moving backwards for a breather, but Schaub isn’t capitalizing on the opportunity. They circle around the cage for a while until Schaub finally lines his opponent up and lands two straight rights that shut Madsen off.

Rashad says that Brendan should have gotten a point deducted for fence-grabbing; for some reason he seems a little disappointed in Brendan’s win. (Maybe wrestlers stick together after all?) Still, Schaub deserved to advance to the semis. Madsen was too one-dimensional, and too boring to watch. Always the ball-buster, Roy asks Schaub how many times he was going to grab the fence.

The next episode will be a two-hour special featuring all four remaining fights: McSweeney vs. Mitrione (or Kimbo?), Jones vs. Schoonover, and both semi-final matches. Now you’re talkin’!