Darrill Schoonover is a drunk. He has a few beers in his belly by 8 a.m., followed by a few shots of whiskey, in an attempt to exact a brutal revenge on the dog that bit him. Unfortunately, it seems to be affecting his work. Schoonover gets handled by Brendan Schaub in sparring, and James McSweeney spills the beans about Darrill’s alcohol intake to Coach Rashad. Rashad and his assistant coaches tell him to cut it out, or at least wait until he’s won a fight before he starts celebrating. "You can’t forget why you’re here," Rashad says. But he also sees the potential in Schoonover: "Darill is that little diamond in the rough…There’s something in Schoonover that [Team Rampage] just don’t know."
Phil Nurse stops by to work with Team Rashad, and we see that scene from yesterday, where Darrill is drunk enough to challenge Rampage to a fight. They have words; most of Rampage’s words involve some reference to "titties." Schoonover wants to take on Rampage in a sparring session, or at the very least head-butt him.
The next fight is announced: Schoonover vs. Zak Jensen. We figured Darrill would get a tougher opponent, but maybe his performance in practice has made Rashad nervous. Anyway, it looks like another easy win for Team Rashad. "Titties!", Rampage shouts after Darrill’s name is called. "Fuck you bitch," Darrill replies. "Got milk, bitch? Got milk?", Rampage says. Darrill nearly goes after Rampage, but Rashad breaks them up. "Walk up on me again, your ass gonna be in trouble, trust me," Rampage says. "You feel froggy, then jump."
Zak Jensen is Team Rampage’s personal bitch-boy. "If Shrek had a little brother, it would be him, and his name would be Linderman," Kimbo says mysteriously. Wes Sims sets up a pool to predict which day Zak is going to snap; the prize is a care-package from Wes. Team Rampage places their bets while Zak is in the room, lying in his bed. He does his best to ignore his teammates and focuses on his journaling, stone-faced.
Darrill has an incredibly creepy tattoo of a clown holding a girl’s severed head, which he got when he was drunk, big surprise. Rashad gets a serial-killer vibe from him. Darrill’s game-plan is to stand and bang, and rough Zak up in the clinch. Rashad advises Darrill to break Zak down, because he’s not mentally strong.
Tiki unveils a rather amazing portrait of "Team Cocky." (Wow, so there is something that Tiki’s talented at!) Rampage refers to Darrill as a "butterface," then does a Mr. T impression. Oh man, if they only knew.
Zak’s training sessions get heated, with Zak shoving Rampage at one point after Jackson offers to call his mom. Rampage believes Zak needs more mental coaching than physical coaching. Well, he’s definitely on the wrong team for that.
Zak gets a bad cut near his right eye after diving into a knee during a sparring session. He gets up bleeding and grinning. "Does that mean he’s out?!", Kimbo immediately asks, a vulture circling. "Thank God, I get to bang again," he says. But once again, his enthusiasm is premature. Assistant coach Sick Dog checks on Zak to see where his head’s at. "There’s no fucking way I’m not fighting," Zak says. "It’s just blood." The cut seems to have inspired Zak, who begins wrecking Big Baby in sparring. Team Rampage is pumped up, maybe for the first time all season.
Phil Nurse notices the Team Cocky poster, which Tiki put up in the gym. Rashad’s assistant coaches think it’s funny, but they decide to take it down before Darrill can see it, so that the caricature of his big, beautiful breasts doesn’t affect his mental state. "I got a joke for them," Rashad says. "5-0. That’s a funny joke." Tiki and Rampage still get in one last dig when they write "Titties" on Darrill’s dressing-room door.
Excerpt from Rashad’s pre-fight pep talk: "Today, you’ll be born as a UFC fighter. What a treat, God loves you so much."
Excerpt from Rampage’s pre-fight pep talk: "The guy has titties. I couldn’t fight no guy with titties. You the man, homey."
So they come out to the cage, and it turns out that Darrill’s moobs are really no worse than Zak’s. In a brilliant bit of editing, the camera cuts back-and-forth between Darrill’s tits and Arianny‘s; when Arianny’s boobs are shown on screen, Rampage can be heard shouting "titties!"
Round 1: Zak lands first in a punch exchange. They clinch, and Darrill pushes him to the cage. Zak looks for a guillotine, Darrill escapes. Zak puts Darrill against the cage and they start dirty boxing. Darrill gets in some great knees in the clinch, then nails Zak with about a dozen unanswered punches when they separate. Zak goes for a desperation takedown, and gets it. Zak begins slugging hard from the top, while Darrill calmly sets up a triangle. He seems to lock it in, but Zak won’t quit. Even as blood starts to spurt out of that cut he got in practice, Zak still throws down hammerfists with bad intentions. But finally he starts to slow down, and the punches stop coming. He’s out — another Team Rampage member who refused to tap.
So that’s 6-0, Team Rashad. With six wins in the round of 16, Rashad ties Tito Ortiz, Matt Serra, and Forrest Griffin for TUF coach with the most first-round wins, and is well on his way to becoming the most successful coach in the show’s history. Next week: Matt Mitrione freaks out on a teammate, more bad blood between the coaches, and the wildest fight of the season. Also, Rashad might have herpes.