Marcus Jones vs. Mike Wessel – Watch more Funny Videos

Matt Mitrione‘s win over Scott Junk on last week’s episode was a bit of a shock to the TUF guys, who expected more out of the Hawaiian UFC vet. Junk says he would have won the fight if it went to a third round — kind of a bold statement considering he almost had a heart-attack trying to make it to the second horn.

Rampage has his now-famous door-destroying session. "You know what sucks about that, it shows everybody how fucking cheap our doors are," Dana says. Rashad doesn’t understand the outburst. "If you put in nothin’, you get out nothin’," he says. After Rampage cools down, he feels embarrassed about the incident, especially because the door never did anything to him.

In the aftermath of the last fight, Mitrione feels like his brain is a little rattled, and goes right to bed. Wes Sims feels it’s the perfect opportunity to throw him a party. He barges into Matt’s room screaming "CELEBRATE!" while spraying some undisclosed shit into his room. (Silly String? Axe Body Spray?) The brain-damaged Mitrione is in no mood, and politely asks Wes to leave.


Marcus Jones is Team Rampage’s last chance to save some dignity and prevent the first-round sweep. "If Marcus loses, it better be fair and square, ‘cuz we bankin’ on that boy," Rampage says. Cut to: Jones completely freaking out when a large spider enters the house.

Mike Wessel‘s wife has cancer; being in the house and not knowing if she’s okay weighs on him heavily. Rashad lays out the gameplan for Wessel against Jones: No takedowns, just fire the overhand right and land some shots inside. Throw everything at Big Baby and make him quit.

Marcus is a "student of the game" when it comes to MMA in a way that he never was with football. He could watch it 24 hours a day, every day. Jones loves to learn and has an infectious laugh.

Brendan Schaub decides to draw a couple of caricatures of Jones and hang them in the house. Next to "The Darkness," Mike Wessel writes "Sucks Balls." Big surprise, Big Baby is a big baby about it. He sarcastically thanks the TUF guys for their consideration for his family, and goes out to sulk by the basketball court.

Rampage tries to bury the hatchet with Darrill Schoonover, apologizing for constantly calling him "titties." Darrill takes the bait. Rampage puts an arm around Darrill, then squeezes one of his titties. Furious, Darrill pushes up on Rampage, ready to fight. Clearly, he’s never read the Parable of the Frog and the Unbearable Asshole.

Marcus has six inches in height and 7.5 inches in reach on Mike. "It’s not how big you are," Rashad tells Mike. "It’s how big you are on the inside."

Round 1: Wessel comes right at Jones, brawling inside. Discarding the carefully crafted gameplan, Wessel tries for a leg-trip takedown, and Jones tosses him to the mat. Jones gets on top and tries for a kimura. Wessel rolls to escape, and Jones takes his back, working for a rear-naked choke. Wessel reverses and gets on top, and Jones quickly locks in an armbar. Wessel verbally taps, in obvious agony.

Marcus Jones will be Team Rampage’s sole representative in the quarterfinals, and judging from his performance, he could go even further. Rashad and Dana are very impressed with Jones’s skills. Big Baby is elated with his win. "It’s like crack!" he says. "How do you know what crack’s like?" Rampage asks him.

It’s time to decide the quarterfinal matchups, so the eight remaining fighters are called in one by one to tell the coaches and Dana who they’d like to fight. Roy Nelson gets on Dana’s nerves (again) by running down every fighter’s strengths and weaknesses but not making a specific pick. Finally he goes with Justin and Darrill, because "they’re not gonna hurt you." When Marcus is called in, he says he’ll fight anybody Rampage picks for him. Rampage wants Marcus to settle his own personal beef with Titties. "If that’s what coach thinks, I’ll go with Darrill," Marcus says. The next four fights will be…

Roy Nelson vs. Justin Wren (aka, the battle of the chubby white grapplers)

Brendan Schaub vs. Jon Madsen

James McSweeney vs. Matt Mitrione (aka, the battle of the cardio champions).

Marcus Jones vs. Darrill Schoonover

Rashad doesn’t think Rampage earned the privilege of picking Marcus’s opponent. He invites guys from Team Rampage to come over and help his guys prepare for their next fights. Rampage makes it clear that such disloyalty wouldn’t be appreciated, and instructs his fighters to boo Rashad every time they see him from now on.

On the next episode: Matt Mitrione is sent to the hospital with a sore brain. Will Kimbo finally come back for one more humiliating loss?