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TUF 12.5 Recap: Sore Winners

(Hick-Jitsu is no match for Drunken French Muay Thai.)

Alex Caceres has gone full heel. For some reason, he decides to put bleach in Nam Phan‘s fabric softener. Michael Johnson borrows it to do a load of delicates, and freaks out when he learns the truth. "Why would you run the risk of fuckin’ up someone’s whole wardrobe like that?" he asks. Caceres explains that it was meant for Nam, which begs the question — what the hell did Nam Phan ever do to you, bro? "I got a love/hate personality," Caceres says later. "That’s why I don’t have many friends." 

As Team GSP rides to practice, Cody McKenzie spits dip-juice into an empty Red Bull can. It’s the most country thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

GSP brings in another special guest for his guys. Very special. Jean Charles Skarbowsky is a French kickboxing savant who sleeps three hours a night and gets drunk before every practice. Georges advises the guys that if you respect him, he’ll respect you; if you go hard to prove a point, he’ll kill you. "Please be careful, he had a long ride from Paris to get here," GSP says. Hmm, he doesn’t look like much. But there he is, tossing around the entire team and dropping everybody with liver shots. "You cannot have the same lifestyle as Jean Charles and be an MMA fighter. In Thailand they smoke and drink and fight every day." And let’s not even get into the transsexual thing…

For the next fight, GSP chooses Spencer Paige (his #3 pick) vs. Nam Phan (Koscheck’s #5 pick). This is a tough one. John Danaher calls Paige one of their most talented athletes, particularly on the feet. But Phan’s a seasoned vet who’s tangled with the likes of Josh Thomson, Gesias Cavalcante, Rob McCullough, and Michihiro Omigawa. He lost to all those guys, but still.

Phan runs laps around the backyard for an hour every morning; he thinks it’ll give him the extra cardio boost he needs to win. The other guys don’t really get it, and are content to just chill and watch him.

Cody "Dip" McKenzie has some balls on him. He tweaks Koscheck’s chin as he leaves practice one day, and announces that "Josh is about to get beat up." When you’re the #2 guillotine choker in the world, you can get away with stuff like that.

It’s time for Team Koscheck to get a visitor. (Not that you don’t count, Fitch.) Chuck LiddellJosh Koscheck‘s coach on TUF 1 — saunters in and gets an ovation from the team. His eye is still bruised up from his fight against Rich Franklin. The Armenians are particularly star-struck. "You were kicking ass, I saw old Chuck coming back," one says. "I wish I could be like you when I’m your age." Chuck is asked for advice on the fight game and says "If you don’t enjoy it, it’s not for you…don’t forget, this is a hell of a lot better than a real job." Chuck tells the guys that it’s hard to walk away from his old life, and he still wants a shot at Tito.

Josh Koscheck continues to fuck with St. Pierre every chance he gets, in increasingly homo-erotic ways. "French kiss me now, and I’ll leave MMA," he says. "You know you love yellow." GSP wants to say something in return, but won’t allow himself to drop to that level. Later, Kos stops by GSP’s team-room and starts messing with Jean Charles. Uh oh. "How was rehab, you went to rehab today?" he says. Damn…Skarbowsky isn’t a man to be trifled with, but luckily he keeps grinning through his afternoon hangover. 

Something that Paige and Phan have in common? They both get pretty scared before fights, but once they enter the cage, a switch flips and it’s time to bang.

Round 1: Paige comes out very aggressive, setting a hard pace. He throws kick in bunches, stumbling Phan with a leg kick and landing sharply to the body. He gets in two more kicks, but Phan drops him with a counter punch. Paige bounces up. Paige kicks to Phan’s leg and body. Another leg kick. Phan responds with punches, Paige gets in another body kick…Phan needs to start blocking those. Phan stalking, but misses his strikes. Paige works the jab, and goes back to the body kick. He lands a 1-2 and a leg kick. Paige jabs. He’s completely owning the striking battle. Phan launches a high kick, but Paige returns fire. Paige with more punches. Paige lands yet another body kick, but his pace is slowing down. A body punch and kick from Paige. Phan catches a body kick, tosses Paige down, and starts swarming with punches. Paige tries to kick off and get some distance. He throws some upkicks, but Phan doesn’t back off. More punches from the top. Phan gets into side control with 30 seconds left. Phan grabs a kimura and cranks it. Paige’s arm is bent behind his back in a horribly painful-looking angle. It seems like the fight is over, but Paige guts out the last agonizing seconds and survives until the bell. But he’s not out of the woods. Back in his corner, Paige tells GSP that his foot is broken.

Round 2: Phan lands a body kick after Paige throws some punches. Phan goes to the body with strikes and pours it on when Paige retreats against the cage. Paige throws more kicks but he’s wobbly on his broken foot. He stays in the fight, though, snapping punches at Phan. Paige falls throwing a reverse kick. Nice hook to the body from Phan. Paige falls again throwing a kick, and Phan pounces, throwing knees to Paige’s body against the cage. Paige escapes, and misses a spinning backfist then a reverse kick. Nam attacks with punches. Leg kick Phan. High kick Phan. Paige returns a leg kick, and throws a body kick. Phan fires off more punches and a high kick. Paige falls on his ass yet again throwing a reverse kick. Paige pops the jab. GSP begs for a takedown as the round draws to a close, hoping Paige can somehow steal the round, but he keeps it standing as the round ends. Nam Phan wins the decision, putting Team Koscheck on the board for the first time.

Paige might have broken his hand and his leg in the fight. Koscheck says it’s a sweet feeling to see Paige get his ass kicked like that. Phan says he "showed America that little Asian boys can scrap." Koscheck gets his gloat on. As Spencer gets his wraps peeled off, broken in body and spirit, the yellow team pounds on the wall, howling in victory.

Next week: Team Koscheck remains cocky, GSP gets cut in training, and we get two fights. At this point, Koscheck still has his #1 (Stevens), #2 (Magakian), and #3 (Chivitchian) picks remaining, while St. Pierre is left with his #2 (Brookins), #6 (McKenzie) and #7 (Sayers). That’s what happens when you let your fighters make the matchups.

Cagepotato Comments

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DazedNConfused- October 14, 2010 at 4:29 pm
Jean Charles Skarbowsky was amazing. Go check out his highlight video on Youtube. The dudes amazing, and please to whoever said he was backing down to Koskcheck, the dude isn't going to get into a fight there. Koscheck is lucky it was in the TUF building. There isn't a race that's tougher than the other mostly. If you grow up in a rough area of France you'll most likely stand up to anyone and be a pretty solid guy. I don't get much of the stereotypes about the French. It's pretty dumb.

As much as I feel Koscheck is actually interesting and fun to watch, I was hoping that Skarbowsky would've just knocked him the fuckkk out. I assume he'll let his bud GSP do that. I wish I could train with the guy for a week, it'd be awesome.

As for the fight, it was probably the best TUF fight i've seen in a while, pretty exciting stuff.

And yeah... St. Pierre is going to mess Kossy boy up come December. It may get ugly. And by Ugly I mean holding him down and gaining a 5 round hug fest with the occasional elbow/punch. Woo.
Meohfumado- October 14, 2010 at 4:04 pm
Not to stop people from hating on Kos...

But I believe the "Rehab" comment was because JCS had a drink from "Rehab" the bar at the Hard Rock when he showed up, and that's what he was drinking from when Kos was egging him.

Hilarious he showed up drunk after going to a bar all morning, and still beat the crap out of everybody.
Hexed79- October 14, 2010 at 2:52 pm
@Turd, Ballkick:

There's always the John Lennon philosophy of "Instant Karma". Maybe that's what Mr. Kick meant...
Mr_Misanthropy- October 14, 2010 at 1:40 pm
^I aspire to live by the philosophic system advanced by the highly illuminated sage Bas Rutten: Two eyes for one eye.
J-Dog- October 14, 2010 at 1:38 pm
^^^ Well in Bruce Leroy's case it would only be 1-1/2 eyes for one eye.
Turd Furgeson- October 14, 2010 at 1:16 pm

No prob. I've found that it's a common misconception. Glad I could help.
Almost North- October 14, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Stop trashing my newest role model Charlie.

Also....if Cody McKenzie is the countriest thing you've ever seen you have lived a sad sad sheltered life.
Charming Charlie- October 14, 2010 at 12:55 pm
I think the French Mauy Thai guy was brought on as a favor by GSP, in a season when the producers are looking to get anyone and everyone to make a cameo. It's only the fifth episode and we've already had:
Chuck Liddell
Mike Tyson
John Fitch
Jean Charles Skarbowsky

Why is it a favor? Because the French guy is selling something. I don't know if he wants his own show, if he's got an academy back home, pitches Vodka, or what, but it definitely didn't appear he was doing much training of the cast members. Lets exaggerate his drunkeness too.
eviltwin- October 14, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Should be Team Skarbowski vs Team Koscheck! Kos is a dick but man this show would be way more boring if he wasn't. Doesn't seem like GSP really has much to say...ya know...since he does his talking in the "ahc-TUH-ghan"
Hinarf- October 14, 2010 at 12:30 pm
S-P-I-T-T-O-O-N I think is what you are looking for.
Waxedpants- October 14, 2010 at 12:21 pm
After his intro I could have cared less about the rest of the show ... I just wanted more drunken muay thai. Needs his own reality show immediately.

There is a great highlight vid of his fights on youtube... dude is legit.
Ballkick- October 14, 2010 at 11:55 am
@Turd Furgeson

Thanks for the correction,....I have been using the word in the wrong context for years.
J-Dog- October 14, 2010 at 11:49 am
Alex "Twinkle Ptosis" Caceres
J-Dog- October 14, 2010 at 11:46 am
Bruce Leroy.... his nickname should be Alex "Forest Whitaker" Caceres.

Hint to guys fighting Bruce Leroy: throw the right hook! He won't see it coming!
BryanF- October 14, 2010 at 11:03 am
JCS is the man!
Turd Furgeson- October 14, 2010 at 10:46 am

Karma is the Hindu belief that your actions in the life affect what you come back as in your next life. If you're really upright and good you'll come back as a human. If not a bug or some sort of rodent. I think what you're talking about is more along the lines of the Christian saying, "You reap what you sow."
Sabado Gigante- October 14, 2010 at 10:34 am
Drunken French Guy NEEDS his own show, video blog, or something! How is this guy's life not part of American pop culture, or folklore! I bet he lives 99.9% of his life wearing only Muay Thair shorts and a mouthgaurd...
cecils_pupils- October 14, 2010 at 9:55 am
Drunken French Muay Thai sounds like a culinary dish...
Kid Clam Curtains- October 14, 2010 at 9:54 am
Skarbowsky should have given Kos a liver shot.
HEY- October 14, 2010 at 9:44 am
Blocking kicks broke his hand and getting his kicks checked broke his foot. Watch the replay...
And LOL at Koscheck. Man, I would have HATED to go to high school with that guy.


Ballkick- October 14, 2010 at 9:27 am
Having Jean Charles Skarbowsky on the show last night warmed my heart, only because it showcased the skill and effectiveness of Muay Thai to a handful of TUF competitors and millions of MMA fans. Being half snapped and making these guys look amateurish was beautiful to me.
Josh Koscheck is a buffoon, he proves it every time he opens his yap and every time he is in the octagon. He demands no respect as he gives none. I would have much rather watched Jean Charles Skarbowsky toy with Koscheck for 15 minutes than watch the entire season of TUF.

GSP is going to demolish Koscheck in Montreal and I pray to any higher power, it is so demoralizing to Josh that it fucks up his head so much he is just a fight or two away from being fired by the UFC.
Good things happen to Good people and by the laws of Karma Bad things happen to Bad people.
Josh is a bad human being.

On a side note,... Spencer Paige vs. Nam Phan, it is my opinion that Nam may have broke Spencers hand/wrist/arm at the end of round one. The fact that Paige did nothing at all in round 2 should attest to this. In a fight that was clearly Paiges to win until the sub attempt, this was his undoing.
Paige's ground game lost the last 1:30 min's of that round and if Nam had the sub even 20 seconds earlier in round one Paige would have tapped or lost use of that arm for 6-8 weeks.
Nam seems to be taking this pretty seriously compared to ass-clowns like Bruce Leeroy. Alex Caceres needs to have a fist shoved down his mouth, and a foot up his ass. Look for him to lose his next fight. Karma dictates this.
C-Bus Allstar- October 14, 2010 at 9:26 am

Dude looked fucking MEAN and yet completely calm and cool about it. Like Dahmer smiling before he takes a bite of your face. O_o
danomite- October 14, 2010 at 9:24 am
you guys remember Urijah Faber's story about getting into a fight with a dozen guys in Bali? I get the feeling that the Big Skarbowski has dozens of stories that are just like that.

oh, and if a guy spittin dip into a drink can is the most country thing you've ever seen I cordially invite you to attend the N.C. state fair with me so that you may have your mind properly blown.
Videodrome_NOW- October 14, 2010 at 9:01 am
There is a "I hate Josh Koscheck" facebook page. If you know anyone that hates fraggle nuts, tell them about it and maybe there will be more fans that hate him than actually like him.

Drunken frenchman was by far the best person to ever grace the TUF series. He should be fighting for the contract as he would annihilate everyone of the fighters competing on the show.
2DaDeath- October 14, 2010 at 8:47 am
So what happened to Mr. "If you respect him, he'll respect you"???

G-D damn frenchmen! If they feel the slightest bit intimidated, they back down automatically. Even the baddest frenchie got real civil when confronted outside the ring/cage.