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‘TUF 14′ Episode 6 Recap: Michael Bisping, Most Misunderstood Fighter in the UFC


(Brandao vs. Siler. Fight starts at the 1:09 mark. Props: IronForgesIron)

After the fiasco that followed the Akira/Neace fight last week, Team Mayhem coach Ryan Parsons wants to give Michael Bisping a piece of his mind. “You’re the kind of guy that can’t keep his motherfucking mouth shut,” Parsons tells him. “Which is why you’re the most hated fighter in the UFC. I get it now.”

“I earn a lot more money than you, motherfucker,” Bisping says, clearly a 1%’er.

“Go spit on somebody,” Parsons says. And so on. Bisping feels that Team Miller should take their loss like men, and that Parsons should fuck off.

The next fight has already been announced as Diego Brandao (Bisping’s #1 featherweight) vs. Steven Siler (Miller’s #4). Siler thinks that people don’t believe in his skills, but Team Bisping isn’t taking him lightly, especially because Brandao’s cardio is a little lacking during practice. Still, Bisping is excited to see what the half-crazy Brazilian can do.

And awww, Jason Miller‘s dog is at the weigh-ins.

So let’s get to know the fighters a little better. Diego’s father died when he was young. On his deathbed, he asked Diego to take care of the family. And so, Diego did “horrible shit” to make money for his family. He sold drugs, never went to school, etc., but eventually got into MMA in order to avoid dying on the street. Siler really misses his girlfriend. Advantage: Diego.

Let’s just get this over with…

Round 1: It’s a classic gong-and-dash, with Diego sprinting at Siler for a flying knee off the bell. It misses, but he throws a follow-up overhand right that lands flush. They trade leg kicks, then punches. Diego is a little wild, as advertised. Diego lands another overhand right. He fires another flying knee then swarms with power punches until he finds Siler’s off-button. Siler never had a chance. Diego Brandao is in the semi-finals, and it only took him 30 seconds to get there.

Dana White observes that the whole room went silent after Brandao’s TKO victory. Diego put the featherweights on notice. The score now sits at 4-2, Team Miller.

Like a true sportsman, Bisping follows Miller back to the prep-rooms, gloating the whole time. ”I don’t understand what makes Michael such an asshole,” Miller tells us. “Possibly he has a small penis, I don’t know, but…he’s a dick.”

There are two more bantamweight fights left, and Team Bisping debates how they want to arrange things. It’s assumed that John Dodson (Miller’s #1 BW) is a much tougher fight than Roland Delorme (Miller’s #4 BW). So do they use TJ Dillashaw to take out Dodson, or give him the easy fight to ensure his advancement to the semis. It’s clear that Dillashaw wants the easy path, which bothers Josh Ferguson: “If TJ’s so badass, why don’t he prove it and fight John right away, and not be a pussy about it?”

Complicating things is the fact that Roland’s foot has swollen up mysteriously, and he might have a staph infection. Miller sends him to get it checked out, and tries to keep the situation under wraps.

Bisping finally gets to announce a fight selection, and he uses the opportunity to give the assembled fighters and coaches some constructive suggestions on how not to handle yourself. For example: Don’t shoot for a double-leg takedown when your fight is announced. Take your loss like a man. Don’t attack people after the fight is over. Don’t squirt water on people. My God, it seems to go on forever.

Eventually, Bisping announces John “Prince” Albert (his #3 bantamweight) vs. John Dodson. “He’s practically a member of Team Bisping anyway,” Bisping tells Miller. “He didn’t want to be on your team in the first place.” The general consensus is that Albert is fucked. But hey, it’s all in the game. The last fight, obviously, is TJ Dillashaw vs. Roland Delorme, but Roland isn’t around for the face-off. Still, Miller vows that he’ll be there for the fight.

Team Miller is still treating Dodson like a snitch. But how could you stay mad at that face? Dodson’s energy and humor are melting Mayhem’s heart. His gymnastic antics in the gym are impressive — he’s clearly ultra-talented — but he’s also a bit lazy when pressured. As he explains, fighting’s supposed to be fun, and he can’t help goofing around in practice. But he’ll be serious when it’s time to fight. Which it is…

Round 1: Albert throws a high kick. Dodson barrels in with punches. Body kick Dodson. Head kick Dodson. Inside combo again from Dodson. Albert isn’t using his reach; the tiny man is hitting/running without impunity. Dodson with a teep and body shot. They exchange leg kicks. High kick Dodson. Dodson lands a punch from clinch, tosses Albert down, and swarms on him when he gets to his feet. Albert survives the assault and drags Dodson to the mat. Dodson transitions to top position. Albert escapes, gets to his feet. A pair of jabs from Albert land, then a Brazilian kick. Knee to the body from Dodson. Body kick from Albert. They trade punches. Dodson with a head kick and a body kick. Albert with a teep. Dodson returns a body kick. He sticks and moves, a body kick followed by a punch. Albert grabs on in the closing seconds, but Dodson shrugs him off and slugs him with hammerfists to the bell. John Dodson takes the first round easy.

Round 2: Dodson opens with a leg kick. He slips to the mat and gets clipped in the balls, but shrugs it off. Albert lands a body kick. Dodson attacks with punches, working the body. Leg kick Albert, head kick Dodson. Dodson brushes Albert back with punches. Albert jabbing, then a kick to the body as Dodson begins to slow down. Albert tries to grab Dodson’s back but immediately loses the position and Dodson is on top. Albert escapes. Dodson comes in to clinch, Albert flops to his back, Dodson disengages. Dodson punches his leg. Body kick Albert. Albert puts his hands on hips for a split-second, looking to suck some air, and almost gets tagged for it, but he pulls it together and lands a jab. Dodson jumps in and slams Albert down in the closing seconds. Albert looks for a triangle from the bottom but there’s not enough time.

John Dodson wins by unanimous decision (20-18 x 3), but it’s obvious that he coasted throguh that second round. Dodson says he “cheated his way to the semis,” though I still don’t understand how his matchup-leaking benefitted himself.

John Albert is despondent, and cries at the thought of going back to working. “I wanted this to be my life,” he says.

Bisping comes by to congratulate Miller, pretending to be the bigger man, but it doesn’t last. “You won one,” he says. (Actually, it’s five now, but we already know that math isn’t Bisping’s strong suit.) Miller ignores Bisping, standing with his back turned to the Count. “Back off to Bully Beatdown,” Bisping says, walking away. “Well, I know one bully,” Miller says. And at this point, I think most of us want to see that bully get what’s coming to him.

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IT support- January 2, 2012 at 2:45 am
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RainbowUnicorn- October 28, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Miller should have replied to Bisping's rant, it was painful to watch hm go on and on. I hope Miller can submit him. I can't bear to listen to him if he wins.
palmelajones- October 28, 2011 at 9:04 am
I can't stand Bisping and Sho Nuff's comment about forgiving Dan Henderson's cheap shot cracked me up. Still, Bisping is a good but not great fighter and I think he will destroy Mayhem. Bisping is good for UFC, he is one of those people who you would pay to see get beaten and he brings in the viewers. Any action movie is as good as its villain and Bisping plays the villain well.

I was shocked that Albert's reach advantage on Dodson was minimal given that Albert towered over him and that Albert gassed so quickly. Dodson surprised me by being entertaining to watch.
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Chael Sonnens Balls- October 27, 2011 at 9:41 pm
Miller "nailed it" on the "head" when he said: I'm Not sure exactly what makes Bisping such an asshole ... maybe he has a small penis, I don't know ... but one things for sure, HE's a DICK!
mr.Buttplug- October 27, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Bisping has the emotional maturity of a four-year-old.
Richard Fitzentite- October 27, 2011 at 2:31 pm
I love how Bisbing handled the fact that Keith Kiezer almost suspended his gypsy fighter last week for starting a royal rumble after the fight. "Don't stoop to their level", I believe that those were his exact words, even though that little fedora wearing fag started the whole thing.

I was hoping that that Miller would have been more snappy with the comebacks during Union Jack's speech about not being an asshole, like "after a victory over a journey man where you win by illegally striking your opponent, don't spit on his corner men...you look like an asshole."
2DaDeath- October 27, 2011 at 1:16 pm
I'm not gonna lie. I don't think Miller's chances are too good against The Cunt. And too bad...
Me likey- October 27, 2011 at 12:53 pm
i actually thought miller was going to try to be some outrageous idiot for the season. instead he has acted like a guy who genuinely wants to train his fighters and see them do well. he still does some of his goofy antics but nothing to the level i thought he would. bisping has acted cuntish the whole time. hope miller gets a heel hook and snaps his achilles.
Savageleto- October 27, 2011 at 12:16 pm
Bisping is indeed a douche- that is indisputable.

However... Miller is a jerk off - He is a better coach then Bisping no doubt- However he is definitely as big of a douche if not more so.

Bisping has this cockiness about him that instantly sets off alarms... sure--- but Miller is a passive aggressive douche bag.

And as one who could not wait for Hendo to just smash Bisping...I cheered loudly when he knocked that prick out... and now I really hope Bisping smashes Miller.
Sho Nuff- October 27, 2011 at 11:51 am
I have formally forgiven Dan Henderson for what I felt to be horribly dangerous and unsportsmanlike behavior in that extra shot he gave Bisping. Now I get it and I would pay Henderson to do it again... and again... and again...
macreadysshack- October 27, 2011 at 10:15 am
Oh, yeah and BTW, geniuses, "Albert isn’t using his reach; the tiny man is hitting/running without impunity." While I applaud your proper use of a semicolon, this statement implies that the 'tiny man' had a hard time getting inside. If you don't have impunity, you don't have shit. Think of it like that South African bastard in Lethal Weapon ? saying 'diplomatic immunity'. Dammmmmn, I hate CP! It's like a train wreck, tho, I just can't stop coming to see. <------- Facetious
jfjjfjff- October 27, 2011 at 9:56 am
@nomadrip it would only be tough if you have no ability to type. p.s. dodson was gassing in round 1 & he also seems like a fucking dickbag. i hope he loses in spectacular fashion.
KidDinomite- October 27, 2011 at 9:27 am
Diego is the fucking TUF... whatever that means. If he works on his cardio, I could see him winning this season.
NomadRip- October 27, 2011 at 8:48 am
It's gotta be tough writing up a play-by-play with these little guys. They throw a lot of stuff. Even though Dodson was slowing down a bit in rd 2.
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I was surprised that the UFC is milking the "Don't be scared, Homie" line in their promo ads on tv.
layzboybc- October 27, 2011 at 8:46 am
there were times in the episode where Miller just closed his eyes while Bisping was talking and you could just tell all Miller was thinking was "this guy is a complete tool"
JohnnyBlaze- October 27, 2011 at 8:33 am
bispings brash cocky personality is absolutely hilarious. calling miller wacky zaney, and then telling him to go back to bully beatdown is too funny.
jfjjfjff- October 27, 2011 at 8:13 am
@fifthandlast i'm glad to see this. i know a few brits who amazingly look past it somehow and i blame nationalism for blinding them. the guy is "the count" of cuntingham.

i look forward to him being cut.
danomite- October 27, 2011 at 8:02 am
If Michael Bisping were offered a title shot against anderson right now, I would not complain once about how he doesn't deserve it or how he has no chance of winning. He is such a cocksucking douche that I would buy the ppv just to watch him get the shit beat out of him again.
UEG Donkey- October 27, 2011 at 7:37 am
@goldstein no worries we know what you meant good recap.

Bisping does the things he does and says the things he says to sell fights nothing more nothing less. Who didn't want to see Hendo smash Bisping?
bgoldstein- October 27, 2011 at 7:33 am
@ MyDonkeyPunch: Shit, that's what I meant. Shit.
Fried Taco- October 27, 2011 at 7:32 am
I was waiting for Miller to say, after Bisping's speech, "Listen to this man, he's an expert on being an asshole."
DangadaDang- October 27, 2011 at 7:16 am
The worst part is that Bisping legitimately believes he is some quiet, respectful guy. To quote Mirko Cro Cop, I think he has the IQ of a children's shoe size.
fifthandlast- October 27, 2011 at 7:15 am
I give up, being British and having lived up the road from where he trains I've tried and tried to give Bisping a chance, I wanted to like him and I let things go but it's too much, the guys a complete dick.
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