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TUF 8.03 Recap: Wednesdays With Stankie


(G’night, Tom.)

In last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter, teams were picked, hearts were broken, underwear was shrink-wrapped, gallons of alcohol were consumed, and the first light-heavyweight got knocked out of contention. Let’s get to it…

The show starts and Junie is drinking already. We get the first (ever?) glimpse of the TUF liquor closet, where quality is made up for with quantity. K-Sos, despite his intimidating appearance, is presented as one of the good guys of the house — a steak-sharer, not a street-fighter.

Brian McLaughlin and Karn Grigoryan, who sustained nose-fractures in their elimination matches, are slapped with 180-day suspensions from the NSAC and are ordered to go home. They hang around the gym in shock until Dana breaks the silence with “Go ‘head guys, you gotta walk out the door there.” Kyle Kingsbury, who looked sharp in his opening-round loss to Ryan Bader, is brought back to replace Grigoryan. Brian will be replaced by a mystery lightweight who flew home before he could be called back again.

Frank Mir wins the coin toss, and opts for first fighter pick. The picks shake out like this…

Mir: K-Sos, Vinny Magalhaes, Eliot Marshall, Tom Lawlor, Junie Browning, Shane Nelson, Dave Kaplan, George Roop
Nog: Ryan Bader, Shane Primm, Kyle Kingsbury, Jules Bruchez, Phillipe Nover, Efrain Escudero, John “Huggy Bear” Polakowski, Mr. X

We are introduced to Mir’s assistant coaches, Ken Hahn (striking) and Robert Drysdale (jiu-jitsu).

Alcoholism-wise, Junie Browning is like Chris Leben + Jesse Taylor x Arthur Bach. The night after the picks are made, he gets drunk and belligerent, threatening to jump off a balcony, ordering his teammates to whip him (“Call me Kunta Kinte!”), and already trashing the house. Inevitably, he passes out outside and starts crying. Previews for the next episode show that the situation is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.

After much speculation, Roli Delgado shows up to replace Brian M. We are introduced to Team Nog’s assistant coaches, jiu-jitsu instructor Daniel Valverde, and Al “Stankie” Stankiewicz, an eccentric 67-year-old boxing coach with a knack for motivational speaking. (Prediction: Stankie will suffer a heart-attack during the show, leading to a “very special episode” of The Ultimate Fighter where Team Nog gathers around his hospital bed, and Stankie, his breath labored, tells the guys that they had what it takes to be Ultimate Fighters all along, and implores them to never stop chasing their dreams. The heart-rate monitor flatlines and Team Nog vows that from now on, they’ll “do it for Stankie.”)

Anyway, Nogueira has the first fight-pick, and selects his top gun Ryan Bader to take out Tom Lawlor.

K-Sos draws first blood in the TUF 8 prank wars. He orders an assload of shrink wrap and Team Mir goes about wrapping all of Bader’s stuff to the underside of his bed, and all of Team Nog’s underwear to the diving board outside. Wisely, he denies involvement when Bader starts asking questions.

The night before the fight, Nogueira and his coaches show up at the house to eat with their fighters. Nog shows great respect for their cooking: “If they won’t be a fighter, they can open a Hestaurant!” What is it with these goddamned Brazilians and their mispronunciation of R’s? Junie is clearly jealous of Team Nogueira’s family dynamic: “They’re gay as hell.”

Speaking of gay as hell, Tom Lawlor repeatedly disses Ryan Bader’s pretty, shiny hair. This from a guy who looks like a half-homo Heath Herring.

So it’s fight time. Lawlor looks good at first, easily stuffing two of Bader’s shots. But Bader eventually gets the takedown and works him for a bit in half-guard. Lawlor escapes, Bader almost sets up a guillotine, and they’re back on their feet. After an exchange of knees in the clinch, Bader gets another takedown and lands some punches from Lawlor’s guard. Lawlor puts his feet on Bader’s hips and pushes off, which allows Bader to get some distance and throw down a huge punch that knocks Lawlor out cold. Boom — Team Nog is up 1-0, and Stankie is fired up.

In scenes from the next episode, we see Shane Nelson try to bait Efrain Escudero into a fight, and Junie try to bait everyone into a fight. Dana White shows up to lay down the law: “You guys probably watched every season, go look at these idiots. Now you’re those fucking idiots.”

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bpd- October 2, 2008 at 4:04 pm
I was sure that Bader's nickname was going to be "Darth".
God's Outlaw- October 2, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Still piss poor prediction. My vaginal is fine and sleeping. Maybe I went overboard with the "fired" comment but I come to this site every day and always enjoy the blogs but I have never read an article joking about someone dying.

But I understand you all are desensitized and like to fight and shit and want to rant on someone.

I lost someone dear to me while boxing in the military to a brain hemorage after a fight and the comment just reminded me of him and pissed me off.

Maybe I shouldn't have left a comment. And I'm "finna go cry in the car".
KTFO- October 2, 2008 at 3:48 am
Anyone alse think of Mick when they showed Stankie? All I could picture him saying was, "You're gonna eat lightning and crap thunder!!"
Me- October 1, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Bader = Matt Hamil with functional ears. He looks like his twin at the end of the episode when he has his shirt on without the beanie.
Deadpanda- October 1, 2008 at 4:23 pm
"This article does not provide the authors name. And it’s a good thing. Very low class prediction. Sorry your pathetic attempt at getting a laugh has failed and has pissed me off. You should be fired"

Ignorance is bliss.
Fenix- October 1, 2008 at 4:11 pm
CB = Pompous, conceited, shit talking overhyped douche

Bader = Cool, hard working level headed guy



Thats the difference even though they're friends.
douchebaggery- October 1, 2008 at 4:11 pm
haha look at all the comments from all the bleeding vaginas on this site. "that's mean..wahh"

shaddup.
hooligun- October 1, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Great story, well written and funny!
spacealias- October 1, 2008 at 4:02 pm
I am outraged! How dare you make a joke about an old man dying. I like that old man and I hope he lives forever! Who is the writer, obviously you are a coward and that's why you didn't sign your piece of trash writing (oh what? Only two Writers and they are both named Ben and one of the Ben's writes for that rag... Sports Illustrated? oh). Haven't you ever taken Creative Writing 101 where all good teachers preach that you must be very careful when writing jokes! Sensitive people with no sense of humor can get very offended. You must write in a way that will not cause these people to get upset. Its creative writing 101 MAN!

But hey if you make fun of someone being gay, that is freakin' Hilarious!
Geriatric Peon- October 1, 2008 at 3:44 pm
So look for him to lose via arm bar?
Geriatric Peon- October 1, 2008 at 3:44 pm
So look for him to loose via arm bar?
tpark- October 1, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Yes, Ryan "master" bader is a greatfighter. Knowing that he trains with glass-arm McTap is a great confidence booster
Bunk- October 1, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Ryan Bader is a bad ass fighter...look for him to win it. He trains out of the same camp as C.B. Dollaway (Arizona Combat Sports)
tpark- October 1, 2008 at 3:41 pm
theres 2 bens. DUHN DUHN DUHN! It's kinda like "Days of our lives" but more gayer
Fenix- October 1, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Ben, are you the only writer here? I always wondered why there was no name.
Geriatric Peon- October 1, 2008 at 2:48 pm
................ roading response................. Brazilians leave out r's to make up for all the extra one's asians put into the language.
the ox king- October 1, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Good job ben way to piss off the morons
joejoe- October 1, 2008 at 2:37 pm
everyone leaving comments is incredibly uptight, every other blog that recaps the show is like a fight play by play which is really pointless as even if you missed the show it's a zero entertainment read. At least this blog has some personality and is always good for a couple laughs even if I've seen the episode. I think the writer does a good job of making fun of the quick bits that strike me as out there while watching but wouldn't vocalize, like the hestaurant thing.
Anonymous- October 1, 2008 at 2:35 pm
God damn what is it piss and moan like a 12 yr old girl with a skint knee day.....why do you people take the time to write out a comment if you're only going to insult the person who writes these articles for you to freely read them, did you pay anything to read articles from this site, oh no, I guess you didn't, well STFU then. You're the same people who bitch about free fights or that affliction sucks and should stop putting on fights, it's free fights and it's a company who's got more than a few great fighters in the org besides having the number one fighter in the world....use some common sense.....or at least be respectful to the person who's allowing you to read this blog for free. You people are idiots.

Oh I'm going to check out spike they said there was an exclusive vid about the next episode, I'll link it here if it's anything worth while.
ben- October 1, 2008 at 2:35 pm
@ the king adrock:

Thanks for the correction, it's fixed now.

@ Me:

I did notice that! "Yesterday is a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, but today is cash in hand." They must teach that at crusty boxing coach school.

@ God's Outlaw:

My suggestion would be to avoid everything on this site written by anyone named "Ben".
Massiveamounts- October 1, 2008 at 2:27 pm
This article does not provide the authors name. And it’s a good thing. Very low class prediction. Sorry your pathetic attempt at getting a laugh has failed and has pissed me off. You should be fired.

Damn right hand of God take it easy mate, have you not read Cagepotato much, they like to write in a humorous manner, and as wow said it's a reference to Mickey from the Rocky flicks.....besides the old fucker could die..lol. Damn man stop by the 7-11 and pick up some of that stuff they call Sense O' the humor.

Did anyone else see the quick shot at the end of the episode where it showed someone, looked like Junie to me, jump over the cage wall and into the ring...lol...seemed he was arguing with someone and jumped over the cage, looked like there was a fight going on at the time. It was when the announcer was saying "something happens to change the show forever, nothings ever happen like this" or something to that affect. It's like a split second clip so it was hard to see all the details but some fool jumps over the cage wall, I'm hoping it's Junie trying to attack Dana after he gives him the boot, how cool would that be. To be honest the way Dana talks to some of the fighters on TUF I'm surprised it hasn't happen yet. Let's say a little prayer that it does, you too God's outlaw, with that name I"m sure you've got the best chance to convince the big G to pull this one off for us...lol.
the king adrock- October 1, 2008 at 2:13 pm
My only problem was with the inaccuracies. Karn wasn't Grigoryan brought back after losing. He won his first fight and his opponent Eliot Marshall was brought back for an injured Antwain Britt and not Lance Evans.

What, you think all big black guys look the same?
God's Outlaw- October 1, 2008 at 2:12 pm
It doesn't seem familiar to me and had nothing to do with MMA. Again, the writer was just trying to be funny, but wasn't. That's why in Creative Writing 101 classes you're taught to be very careful when using jokes. What's funny to some is not to others.

Too bad he didn't leave a name. I'd avoid his articles all together if that's what I am going to get in the future.
Wow- October 1, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Lighten up, good lord. The Stankie comment is clearly an allusion to Mickey from Rocky because they seem so similar.. not an actual prediction.
Raz- October 1, 2008 at 1:59 pm
I agree..piece of crap writing for a blog.

Stankie supported the fighters in a positive way.

The writer was trying to be a smartass, but made him\herself look like a jackass.
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