MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Turns Out, Cris Cyborg Was Figuratively Dicknailed by CSAC Prior to the Rousey/Kaufman Fight


(WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FOAMING OF THE MOUTH ALLOWED IN THIS ARENA?!)

You might recall that in the immediate aftermath of Ronda Rousey’s win over Sarah Kaufman last weekend, “Rowdy” called out former women’s featherweight champion Cris Cyborg. Unlike past Strikeforce events, Cyborg was not allowed to enter the ring and cause a full-fledged riot for our entertainment, and in fact was actually removed from her seat in the audience before the fight even started.

Why, you ask? Well, it turns out that the California State Athletic Commission has a rule declaring that any fighter under a current suspension is not allowed inside to be at a professional mixed martial arts event. Cyborg shared your current confusion while she was being removed form the audience, telling Tatame in a recent interview:

I watched all fights but on the last one, Ronda’s, a woman working on the event came to tell me I had to leave because the commission doesn’t accept suspended athletes on the shows. My manager talked to the guys at the commission and there’s really a law that says that.

I was upset for the way they treated me. They could’ve pulled me on a corner and told me, not in front of the fans. I was taking pictures and they interrupted me, saying I had to go. It was very disrespectful. I believe a champion deserves to be treated with respect. Everyone knows an athlete’s life isn’t easy, so all fighters deserve respect. When I was in Brazil I watched UFC and there was no problem.

An odd rule indeed, made all the more unusual by the fact that the commission decided to wait until the main event to inform Cyborg that she wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place, which is the equivalent of letting a homeless man wander into your dinner party uninvited and waiting until the nightcap to kick him out.

And even if she was able to make it to the hexagon, it wouldn’t really have mattered, because the chances of Rousey/Cyborg happening at 135 are about as good as Mayweather/Pacquiao:

I watched it from upstairs, standing up. I thought he (sic?) did a great job fighting, had a good performance. She’s a great athlete on her division. This is my last interview on which I’m talking about her. I’m making clear to the fans who want to see this fight that if it’s up to me and her it will never happen because I’m not dropping to her weight class and she can’t gain few pounds to fight me.

So I’m only talking about her again if I sign a contract because then it will be a fight that will actually happen. It doesn’t depend on me, it’s up to Strikeforce to decide. If they want this fight they will have to come to an agreement so that both of us are happy. 

Well, Ms. Borg, it’s not that Ronda couldn’t gain the necessary weight — she fought two fights at 145 under the Strikeforce banner — it’s that she shouldn’t have to. And before some of you more jilted readers jump on me for hugging Rousey’s ovaries (although I would give my right arm to do so. ZING!), please first consider that Ronda is the champ in this scenario. Cyborg was the champ, but managed to fuck that up on her own. And as far as the weight cut is concerned, I recently listened to a pretty great discussion on the matter during a recent episode of The Co-Main Event Podcast, which I would highly recommend you all check out. And I’m not just saying that because Old Dad and Chad Dundas are running it; it is truly as entertaining as it is informative, and the listeners control a lot of the content they discuss. Plus, they have a recurring segment called “Are You Fucking Kidding Me?!”, which is always a good idea.

But anyway, when they came upon the topic of Cyborg’s weight, Dundas brought to light the fact that she had enough trouble enough making 145 in the past, to which Fowlkes responded that it might even make her look worse if she was suddenly able to make 135 on the tail end of a steroid suspension. And while there is no doubting the incredibly muscular physique that Cyborg possesses, I would have to agree with Fowlkes. Guys like Dominick Cruz, Francisco Rivera, and Roland Delorme to name a few stand at roughly the same height as Cyborg, if not taller, and are able to make the cut to 135 with ease. Does Cyborg really have that much more muscle mass than either of those gentlemen? Perhaps in the past, but that is more than likely not the case nowadays.

In either case, we need this fight to happen. The Rousey haters need to see if she can truly be defeated, and the Rousey lovers need her prove that she is truly the best fighter in WMMA history. Let’s face it, Cyborg is the last legitimate threat to Rousey in the foreseeable future, and even Dana White tweeted that the fight would be good enough for a UFC pay-per-view:

Dave Farra@DaveFarra

Dana White: Yes, I could see @RondaRousey vs. Cyborg as a co-main or main event for a @ufc pay per view. Rousey is incredible.

Considering White’s complete reluctance to even accept the idea of WMMA in the UFC in the past, that’s quite a statement.

-J. Jones

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Ringo- August 23, 2012 at 10:38 am
Give Ricardo a tshirt, make it an x-large cause its for his girlfriend
Ricardo Guitardo- August 23, 2012 at 8:35 am
This frustrates me so much. these girl fighters can cut weight but my girlfriend just keeps getting fatter...
J.Jones- August 23, 2012 at 8:38 am
HA!
ReX13- August 23, 2012 at 6:58 am
Guyborg gets #boxrocked.
ReX13- August 23, 2012 at 6:57 am
Hey Guyborg, get the fuck outta here with that nonsense. Oh boohoo, there's a rule on the books that you don't like.

Also, i find it really fucking rich that he's suddenly worried about his long-term health, when his excuse for testing positive was that he took pills without asking what the pills actually were.

Yes, Rousey will go up to 145 and armbar this dude. Then i want him to go away forever.
google- August 23, 2012 at 6:29 am
I could care less about a women's looks when it comes to my MMA. I wanted Cyborg to smash Gina when they fought, and i want her to smash Rousey. I don't want to fuck women fighters, i want to see them crush people in the ring. I love Cyborg, she is a fighter, period. Ronda will get smashed if they fight. How can you make a challange for a parking lot fight, then say our not fighting unless a certain weight is met? I mean, its been some years since my last parking lot fight, do they have weigh ins now before they start?
Mr_Misanthropy- August 22, 2012 at 11:52 pm
Danmmit! Twat Tacked again!
HandsofGold- August 22, 2012 at 9:56 pm
Ronda Rousey = new Hector Lombard.
HEY- August 22, 2012 at 6:59 pm
I'd rather see Guyborg fight Edgar at his 145 debut. Edgar has the speed advantage, while Guyborg has the advantage in strength. Everything else is nearly identical... EVERYTHING.
nickyroose- August 22, 2012 at 6:54 pm
agree with ArmFarm and whoever the hell holy balls is. First off human physiology agrees is it much easier and faster for men to dopr the kind of weight fighters do, that is short time drop with a 10% rebound without serious health defects. Women in general can't drop weight like that but especially not women like Cyborg.

Rhousey is full of shit. She knows the Borg can't physically do 135 without dying and is in no rush to pop up. She's got exactly one title defense under her belt. She does not have Borg's stripes.

And I for one hate steroids as much as anyone. TRT is bullshit. Having low testosterone is like having Progeria. Doesn't mean you're less of a person but it does mean you can not make a living fighting people for money.

It seems funny, in a sexist way, no one is talking about Kale or Hendo about roids being the only thing that got them anywhere and therefore not "True Champions" or in Kale's case, "Champion's" punch bag.
holeeball- August 22, 2012 at 5:58 pm
Rousey just trounced in ***54 SECONDS*** the top contender undisputed numero uno.

SO, unless she's happy arm-barring cans for the rest of her life, she should go after a real fight.

Kind of like LHW champ John Jones. He's cleaned house. Time to move down and face nº1 pound for pound Anderson Silva or try his luck in HW against the big boys like Roy Nelson. Then he can face off versus JDS.
ArmFarmer- August 22, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Also have to agree with pen15, if shes not fighting cyborg next i dont care if she fights at all. At least cyborgs mismatchs were fun to watch, but who really wants to watch first round armbars over and over again against lesser and lesser competition? It wouldnt even be worth the interuption of my saturday night league of legends and internet porn routine to livestream that shit.
NomadRip- August 22, 2012 at 7:50 pm
Yes, because Cyborg's last fight, where she knocked out the terrified Japanese lady twice in 16 seconds was just 2 whole qualifying bull rides of entertainment.
ArmFarmer- August 22, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Im tempted to take back the nice things I said about cp the other day after this article. I couldn't disagree more. Rhonda needs to move up, cyborg should not cut down. As a fan, it would cheapen the fight and id hardly be interested. Rhonda talks a mountain of shit, claims she can kill everyone in the room if she wants when shes on a tv show, challenges cyborg to a parking lot brawl, says she can beat dudes, and generally just acts like shes the badest badass on the planet. Then she refuses to fight a 1 dimensional striker that hasnt competed in months unless shes completely physically depleted from a weight cut. To me its just a prime example of talking the talk and refusing to walk the walk.
J.Jones- August 22, 2012 at 7:14 pm
I see what you're saying with both your points, and wholeheartedly agree with you regarding Cyborg's need to fight Ronda or basically GTFO. Again, I was simply relaying the opinions of a couple of my superiors and agreeing with them, not stating that they were facts. I also agree with the point nickyroose made about it being much more difficult for women to cut weight than men, which would be a huge factor for Cyborg that I hadn't considered. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T TAKE AWAY THE NICE THINGS.
NomadRip- August 22, 2012 at 4:28 pm
"I believe a champion deserves to be treated with respect."

Cris, you are not a champion. You could fight clean and become one, but you past deeds are tainted, and your championship was taken away.

And have someone translate when you decide to retweet things. It makes for some pretty funny Twitter postings by you, but really doesn't help your cause.

http://t.co/60aVSyu
Mr_Misanthropy- August 22, 2012 at 3:58 pm
I hope she saves all this up and gets very more angrier. YES! Come to the darkside! It grows strongly within you! YES!
Mr_Misanthropy- August 22, 2012 at 3:52 pm
@ Fred Tauqueau

Each.
RwilsonR- August 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm
When Dana Whit says "co-main or main event", he means co-main. No way that fight headlines at the very top of a card, unless he wants to see PPV buy rates in the Affliction levels.
Pen Fifteen- August 22, 2012 at 3:18 pm
Along those lines, my guess is Rousey will end up caving and moving up to 145 for this fight. Seeing her armbar a bunch of no-namers in 90 seconds or less is gonna get old real quick, and it sure as hell won't get a primo spot on a PPV card.
Pen Fifteen- August 22, 2012 at 3:16 pm
So the conspiracy theory is that Cyborg is refusing to cut to 135, the only weight at which she has a relevant opponent, and passing up on a potential UFC pay-per-view payday, to avoid making herself "look worse" for her past steroid use? That would be like cutting (or not cutting) off your nose to spite your face. Fucking ridiculous.
J.Jones- August 22, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Pride is a hell of a drug. It's like nature's steroids.
Fried Taco- August 22, 2012 at 3:10 pm
Cyborg's balls weigh at least 10 pounds more than any of those guys'!
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