Perhaps the only thing more awkward than watching a recently separated couple fight in public is watching a recently separated couple fight on Twitter. Aside from the fact that the 140 character limit on Twitter usually causes the feuding pair to throw clumsily abbreviated insults at each other, there’s the whole “Why the hell didn’t these two just send each other private, direct messages and leave the rest of us out of it?” factor. Add on the mental image of the two screaming at – and eventually crying in front of – their laptops/smartphones in a dark room, and Twitter beefs between ex-lovers make Warcraft flirting sessions look like dignified, everyday conversations. I’ve personally unfollowed more than a few people who’ve decided that Twitter was the best place to vent over failed relationships – as I’m sure many of you have as well.
What I’m getting at is that Jason “Mayhem” Miller, who was recently cut from the UFC, just got done bickering at former employer Dana White on Twitter. No, it surprisingly wasn’t that funny. Yes, it was just as cringe-worthy and pathetic as these instances tend to be. And yes, screen shots are available after the jump.
As these situations usually do, it started off with the bitter one who was broken up with randomly, “innocently” tweeting to the ex:
Props to BloodyElbow for getting most of these captured.
Come on, bro: The only way you can be more pathetic and transparent is if you said something along the lines of “I’m glad you fired me after three unforgettably bad performances because I’m so much stronger now!” and broke into a verse of Survivor…
Face, meet palm.
Now, as any guy who has ever been in this situation knows, you never reply to tweets from a crazy ex or any of your crazy ex’s friends. At least every guy who isn’t Dana White…
Terrible move, bro. Your seemingly playful response is about to unleash a full-blown tantrum in three…two…one…
Hell hath no fury like a pink wearing ex-fighter scorned. The only way to make this thing more awkward is to add on comments about what his ex looked like naked or accusations of drug and/or alcohol abuse…
Guys, I think we’re gonna need a bigger facepalm.
But at least Dana White has learned that you never respond to the crazy ex, right?
At this point, if you aren’t staring into a half-empty glass of Four Loko and Everclear just hoping that these two will knock it off soon, then what’s it like not to have a crippling drinking problem? Fortunately, Dana White attempts to end this mess for us:
But this brannigan ain’t over yet, as far as Mayhem is concerned. Try not to act too surprised, but now Mayhem wants to “make peace” with The Baldfather.
You know, something tells me this one ends with Mayhem Miller going on a cheap tequila bender, changing into an old wedding dress, curling up into a ball on the floor and screaming “WHY DOESN’T HE LOVE ME?!” over and over again. You know, just a hunch.
But fortunately, Dana White has learned to never reply to the crazy ex and the crazy ex’s friends on Twitter from all of this, so that’s something, right?
I give up.