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UFC 101 Caption Contest: We Have Ourselves a Winner

(‘I’m telling you kid, with your wholesome image, my brains, and this Russian fellow’s team of upstanding businessmen, God himself couldn’t stop us.’)

I’ll say this much for you East Coast MMA fans, you are not above begging, pleading, and even offering sexual favors if you think it might get you tickets to a UFC event.  After sifting through an unhealthy amount of jokes about steroids, homosexuality, and Aleks Emelianenko’s rumored Hepatitis issue, often all wrapped up into one entry, we finally arrived at a winner for our UFC 101 Caption Contest who could actually make it to Philly by Saturday night.  It wasn’t easy, especially after Horror Fighter’s overwhelming desperation helped set a new record for the sheer number of captions submitted, but we did it.  

Before we get to our big winner, however, allow us to thank the good people at Fight Magazine for making this giveaway possible, and also to give a nod to a couple of attempts that fell just short:

What?!?! Proactiv is on the banned substance list? Damn you, Jessica Simpson!!!!  — Glowskuls

Barnett sporting his new leather jacket, free with 6 2a-methyl-5a-androstan-3a-ol-17-one miles. – Ray Finkle

And finally, the winner:

Josh Barnett announced that he signed a lifetime contract with Condom Depot’s rival sponsor, Herpes. – Lebowski1976

Well, there it is.  The rest of you may now begin your bitchin’ and moanin’.  As for you, Lebowski, shoot us an email at and let us know your real name, address, and phone number and we’ll get you those tickets.  And since the event is in two days and the tickets are currently in another city altogether, you should probably do that soon.  Like right now.



  1. C-Bus Allstar Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 09:33

    Not saying that mine was any better necessarily, but that was in your opinion the top 3? The only one of those that's even remotely funny is the Marlboro Miles rip-off one.
  2. Horror Fighter Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 09:37

    Wait, I think I forgot to mention that I turn 40 next month. Ah, never mind. Consider myself shamed. I suck. Congrats, Lebowski.
  3. ldykilla82 Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 09:39

    Not winning feels like Fedor threw Josh Barnett at my crotch
  4. Ray Finkle Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 09:40

  5. Crap Factory Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 09:44

    Congrats Lebowski. Have fun!
  6. Jugger Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 09:49

    I laughed out loud at Glowskuls' when I saw it yesterday. I was definitely feeling that one.
  7. ldykilla82 Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 09:51

    Congrats Lebowski.
  8. jhov2324 Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 10:00

    The third one is hilarious but the first two GEEBUS those are weak....
  9. Bloodlust Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 10:06

    congrats Lebowski, enjoy the fights...I also found glowskuls entry quite humorous, suprised that didnt take it.
  10. McClaniac Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 10:12

    in my opinion, shitty runners up, but Lebowski did earn that one, congrats
  11. Perdew Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 10:18

    none of them used the entire content of the picture to their advantage. they just talked about joshes face. weak sauce.
  12. Bunk Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 10:46

    I guess I have to unpack my bags now
  13. This guy says Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 10:46

    Great caption, good work! I laughed although I thought the original one was better than all of the entries.
  14. PaalSunde Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 10:46

    What did you expect Perdew? A fucking mixture of PabloChappelle with a little hint of Joe Rogen in the comment section of a MMA-site? maaaan people like you should be banned. negative, grumpy douche!
  15. 831 Son Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 10:53

    Hopefully he gets those tickets in time.
  16. Deathb4tapout Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 10:54

    I think these are so tough to pick but so funny to read all of them. Have fun lebowski
  17. Jay Smith Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 10:57

    *arms folded, head down* I never win anything.
  18. JZ89 Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 10:58

  19. MyFightWiffaCheeto Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 11:21

    PaalSunde Says: Thu, 08/06/2009 - 13:46 What did you expect Perdew? A fucking mixture of PabloChappelle with a little hint of Joe Rogen in the comment section of a MMA-site? maaaan people like you should be banned. negative, grumpy douche! No DICK. Mostly 'cause Pablo Fransisco is one of the worst comedians ever and Perdew wouldn't ever listen to that shit. You're a little bitch popping shit for no fucking reason. You need to leave CP not fuckin' Perdew. Now go back to looking out your window with binoculars waiting for the school bus to arrive you pederast.
  20. Crap Factory Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 11:28

    @ Lebowski..... You're a Boston local too? Was hoping to win so I could see the Ken Flo in person. I'll be watching.....
  21. eelcozy Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 11:44

    Baw. Mine are always short and never get mentioned. I'll be back, double Ben. You'll see.
  22. NECROPHYTE Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 12:24

    I don't get Finkle's joke.
  23. UFC fan Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 12:26

    Man I thought for sure if I just ignored the contest rule and said " FUCK YOU 831 son", I would get free tickets. damn! Oh well maybe next time.
  24. texasranger000 Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 12:50

    These are all obvious and not at all creative. If a bunch of posters all rail on a few topics- best not to pick one of them unless its actually a standout no? I thought you guys were the smartest mma bloggers- not the type to LOL over a lame herpes joke.
  25. NECROPHYTE Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 01:01

    ^Don't be an asshole, don't make the good ole state of TeXaS look bad.
  26. Glowskuls Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 01:06

    congrats Lebowski. Get my vote any time there is a Condom Depot reference.
  27. fightfan Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 01:18

    Wow. you must of only read the 10% or 20% of the entires. There were MANY in teh few hundred I read that were better than those
  28. UFCinPhilly Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 02:15

    Jeez, I thought the captions were supposed to be funny. My mistake.
  29. UFCinPhilly Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 02:18

    BS since there were people in Philly or NYC or Baltimore who were closer. And your website is slow as shit.
  30. PurplePickle Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 02:52

    Lebowski was the only one that got a laugh out of me, not big laugh, but a laugh. Cage Potato should be held responsible for the lack of hilarity considering the boring ass nature of the photo. Every photo posted for caption contests is of people posing and embracing in one boring way or another. I think the Bens use photos they draw a blank on, and say 'fuck it, use it for a contest'. Better photos make better captions. Either that or we are all retarded and will still make the same douche and dick jokes for the foreseeable future.
  31. UFC fan Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 03:37

    I plan on using the same lame jokes purplepickle, maybe one day I will win something, who knows.
  32. curtis Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 04:07

    That is bullshit, mine was way better than those lame as captions. Hell there are 20 or more better ones than those 3.
  33. Lebowski1976 Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 05:00

    I live in King of Prussia numbnuts.
  34. Lebowski1976 Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 05:02

  35. Lebowski1976 Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 06:04

    @Curtis, Perdue and Texas Ranger000 Although there were many great entries that could have easily won instead of mine, morbid curiosity forced me to go back and read your entries. Funny how the biggest critics in these contests have the most pathetic entries. Piss poor effort gentlemen. I have the sneaking suspicion that you guys are BIG fans of Little Nicky and that Zohan travesty. Tools.
  36. Horror Fighter Says:

    Thu, 08/06/09 - 08:30

    Hey, Lebowski, don't know if you train, but there's a good BJJ school in King of Prussia. Used to go there before I wrecked my neck. The instructor is good friends with Kurt Pellegrino, whom you'll get to see fighting live on Saturday -- ya lucky bastard!
  37. Lebowski1976 Says:

    Fri, 08/07/09 - 05:40

    What's the name of the school? I just moved to PA from CT.
  38. Horror Fighter Says:

    Fri, 08/07/09 - 06:23

    Precision JJ. The head instructor is Rob Scheier, the first black belt under Ricardo Almeida. They also have a good boxing program. I highly recommend the school if you're looking for a place to train in King of Prussia.
  39. Horror Fighter Says:

    Fri, 08/07/09 - 11:13

    I went back and counted my entries: 35. Geez-us. Desperation is right. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and log in just to enter more. Looking back, I don't think they were that bad (freebasing steroids? nothing?), although they weren't close to the winners, I admit. Regardless, I deserved to lose for being so damn annoying. I'm Phill born and bred, and my bitch-ass is watching on PPV like I deserve.
  40. Lebowski1976 Says:

    Fri, 08/07/09 - 11:16

    A very sincere thank you to all the wellwishers. I will make the most of this opportunity while cheering on my fellow BC '98 alum, Kenny Florian. CP, I just sent my contact info. Thanks again!!!!
  41. Horror Fighter Says:

    Sat, 08/08/09 - 10:12

    @Lebowski If you are interested: Rob Scheier was the big guy in the baseball cap who came out with Kurt Pellegrino.
  42. Lebowski1976 Says:

    Sun, 08/09/09 - 10:41

    Pellegrino was very impressive. What kind of fees do they charge?
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