(The photo that helped set a new record for Jenna Jameson midget porn jokes on CP.)

The good news is, our UFC 102 caption contest has come to a merciful end.  The bad news is, so few of the funnier ones among you seem to be in or around the Pacific Northwest.  Don’t worry, though.  We found ourselves a big winner anyway, and we’ve got some Fight Magazine subscriptions to give away to a couple others that made us chuckle.  Too bad it won’t be in time to get the September issue, featuring a cover story written by a certain dashing young scribe who shall remain nameless.  Better head out and pick that one up this week, available wherever kick-ass MMA publications are sold.

Here are our subscription winners, in no particular order:

Jet Li, a midget, and Tito Ortiz all indicating how many times they’ve brought Jenna Jameson to orgasm. – IrishLobo

For weeks to come, Extreme Couture smelled of Icy Hot, Herpecin, Crab Rangoon, Mediocrity, Nyquill and a little bit of stolen Mojo. – BigCountrysCholesterol

No matter how the hard The Thundercats attempted to blend into human society, Snarf always gave them away. – BrandedtoKill

And the winner of two free tickets to UFC 102 is…

PortlandMMA.  For the combination of these two, which represent a small sample of his many submission:

"Wait! Jean Claude get in here!"

 and

Verne Troyer and Jackie Chan were apparently busy attending a symposium on Nanotechnology.

On their own, they’re just okay.  But the dude was persistent, and we admire that.  Plus, his username is PortlandMMA.  Denying him tickets to a UFC event in Portland would be like denying 831 Son tickets to an anger management seminar in Monterrey.  It just wouldn’t feel right.

So congrats, PortlandMMA.  Send your real name, address, and phone number to feedback@cagepotato.com and we’ll get you your tickets.  Other winners, send your names and addresses and we’ll get that Fight Mag subscription all hooked up.  Thanks for playing, everyone.  You may now begin complaining about how you totally should have won.