("’Ey check me out, guys, I’m Joe Hogan. ‘Duhhhh…I do drugs…duhhhh…crazy, high-level zhoo-zhitsu…duhhhh…eat this buffalo penis and I’ll give you money…duhhhh’." Photo courtesy of the UFC 108 Weigh In Pics set on CombatLifestyle.)
Strap yourselves in, fight fans — IT’S TIME FOR THE MOST HIGHLY ANTICIPATED GRUDGE MATCH OF 2010. (So like, since yesterday, basically.) After a powerful curse stole nine fighters from the lineup, the survivors are ready to show that their brothers didn’t blow out their knees and catch staph in vain. For those of you paying for this pay-per-view, console yourself with the fact that the shittiest cards can often be the most suprisingly awesome. They can also be just as shitty as advertised, but we’ll try to stay positive for now. Complete UFC 108 results — from the Spike TV prelim fights all the way through Rashad Evans vs. Thiago Silva — await you after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest…
Results from the unaired prelims:
- Rafaello Oliveira def. John Gunderson via unanimous decision
- Jake Ellenberger def. Mike Pyle via TKO, 0:22 of round 2
- Mark Munoz def. Ryan Jensen via submission (strikes), 2:30 of round 1
Mike Goldberg looks like he’s still hung over from New Year’s.
Cole Miller vs. Dan Lauzon
Miller, who often towers over his fellow lightweights, will only have one inch on 21-year-old Dan "The Upgrade" Lauzon. Lauzon returns to the Octagon three years after becoming the youngest fighter to ever compete in the UFC.
Round 1: They clash and Miller lands a nasty left hand. But Lauzon lands a big left of his own and drops Miller. Cole keeps his head and gets to his feet, but Lauzon pours it on. Miller lands a knee and a punch, and sets up a thai clinch. Miller with a knee and some dirty boxing. Miller throws a slow leg kick and Lauzon grabs it and punches him in the face. Miller botches a clinch and Lauzon drags him down and takes his back. They both look for armbars in a knotty scramble on the ground. Miller sets up a inverted triangle that Rogan compares to Toby Imada‘s Best Submission of 2009, and manages to tap Lauzon with it. Sub of the night for sure. Miller asks his corner for his brown belt. Miller def. Lauzon via submission ("kimura from reverse triangle" [or whatever]), 3:05 of round 1. Miller doesn’t even remember getting dropped by the punch early in the round. Great fight.
Mike Pyle vs. Jake Ellenberger from earlier in the night
Round 1: Ellenberger with pressure from the beginning, and takes Pyle down. Pyle locking Ellenberger down from the bottom. Pyle works some butterfly guard. Ellenberger can’t do much from his position, but finally lands a nice elbow. Pyle looking for an armbar, and Ellenberger gets out. Yves Lavigne makes Pyle get up, and Ellenberger quickly takes him down again. Pyle looks for a kimura from the bottom, and cranks it, but Ellenberger won’t let his arm be overextended. Ellenberger creates some space and lands some nasty punches in the last ten seconds. Pyle is slow to get up. He might have broken his rib sometime during the round.
Round 2: Pyle shoots, Ellenberger stuffs it, throws a knee to Pyle’s body, drops him with punches, and finishes him on the ground. Ellenberger def. Pyle via TKO, 0:22 of round 2.
Martin Kampmann vs. Jacob Volkmann
Round 1:Volkmann stalks foward, throwing a couple of left straights. Kampmann counters. They clinch and Volkmann gets a knee in. Volmann with a nice 1-2, but Kampmann fires back and briefly drops Volkmann. Volkmann back up, and he still wants to make it a brawl for some reason. Kampmann with a right straight. Again Volkmann charges forward with a heavy punch combo that batters Kampmann and gets dropped in the counter exchange. Kampmann throws a big punch from the top and moves into half-guard. Kampmann gets up, then comes back in and blasts Volkmann with a few right hands. Volkmann tries to escape the abuse and Kampmann sinks in a guillotine choke, quickly tapping Volkmann. Kampmann def. Volkmann via submission (guillotine choke) 4:03 of round 1. Kampmann regrets taking so many punches in the face, and hopes for the submission of the night bonus. WTF, did he miss the Miller/Lauzon fight? Lots of luck, buddy.
Ryan Jensen vs. Mark Munoz from earlier in the night
Jensen comes out to Stinkfist by "Tool." Solid choice. Too bad he gets knocked the [SPOILER ALERT] fuck out.
First and only round: Munoz whiffs a couple punches, and Jensen misses a high kick. Jensen lands a leg kick, and two more. Munoz chasing. He catches Jensen’s knee and takes him down. Jensen tries for a guillotine, but Munoz pops out. Jensen manages to escape from the ground and starts throwing leather at Munoz. He clinches with Munoz, and Munoz takes him down. Jensen trying for a triangle from the bottom. Munoz responds with heavy hammer fists. Munoz gets to his feet momentarily, then starts throwing down punches. Jensen turtles, then taps, but Yamasaki doesn’t see it. Munoz keeps slugging until Jensen swallows his pride and taps again. Munoz def. Jensen via submission (strikes), 2:30 of round 1. Munoz thanks like 50 people in the post-fight interview. If this was the Oscars, the orchestra would have cut him off halfway through. But we’re ahead of schedule, so it’s cool.
Joe Rogan interviews Dana White to kill time. They’re running through the whole card. Anyway. The four fights we’ve seen so far were pretty damn good. Could UFC 108 actually transcend its horrible-on-paperness? Rashad got his BJJ black belt from Rolles Gracie today, so congratulate him if you see him.
And we’ve made it to the pay-per-view portion of the evening…
Junior Dos Santos vs. Gilbert Yvel
Dana White has completely marked out for this fight. Joe Rogan points out that Yvel’s tattoo collection features full-on fight scenes. That’s called committment. Yvel comes out to "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC. Dos Santos goes with the Rocky theme. His overgrown cauliflower ear looks like it’ll fall off at any moment. Remember James Thompson vs. Kimbo? It’s even worse than that.
Round 1: Yvel with a jab. They trade punches and Dos Santos lands a left. Yvel lands a spinning back kick. Dos Santos with a hard right. He comes forward and they’re slugging, both landing. Dos Santos with a leg kick. Yvel returns a body kick. Yvel tries a high kick. Dos Santos drops Yvel with a left hook, then lands some more as Yvel tries to get up. Yvel rolls to his knees and Herb Dean stops the fight as JDS piles on more abuse. Yvel is pissed. The stoppage might have been a touch early, but in his opinion it was way too early. Dos Santos def. Yvel via TKO, 2:07 of round 1. JDS says this wins puts him at the top of the heavyweight division.
Jim Miller vs. Duane Ludwig
Rogan gives Ludwig proper credit for scoring the fastest knockout in UFC history! Spread awareness, people! Screw you, Todd Duffee!
Round 1: Ludwig sticks a right. Miller with a leg kick. Miller with a slick punch combo and a high-kick. Miller rushes in with an overhand left but misses. Ludwig lands a left hook. Miller drops Ludwig with a right hook, pounces, and quickly leaps to mount. Ludwig tries to escape, and Miller snatches an armbar. He extends it and it’s good night Irene. Miller def. Ludwig via submission (armbar), 2:31 of round 1.
And now they’re showing Miller vs. Lauzon again. I’mma go grab a smoke.
Takanori Gomi is in the house. They show some of his highlights and Rogan talks up his credentials. I’m psyched to see him in the Octagon, but let’s keep our expectations reasonable, alright?
Joe Lauzon vs. Sam Stout
Round 1: Lauzon clinches right off the bat and drags Stout down. He lands in half-guard, and drops a couple elbows. Stout is already cut. Lauzon tries an acrobatic armbar attempt, but Stout rolls to safety and gets to his feet. Stout jacks Lauzon with a couple punches. Lauzon shoots again and takes Stout down after some effort. Stout works to his feet and they separate. Lauzon shoots again and pulls guard. Stout with an elbow of his own. And another. Stout gets up, and Lauzon follows. They trade punches. Lauzon shoots and is stuffed. Stout landing heavy blows, and throws in a high kick. Nice uppercut from Stout, and a straight right. Stout with a leg kick. Body shot Stout, then a leg kick. Lauzon throws a leg kick, but Stout catches it. Stout with a punch/backfist combo. There’s the bell. Stout might have taken the round with that late onslaught after Lauzon’s early control.
Round 2: Lauzon shoots again and is tossed off. Push kick Lauzon. Stout smacks a high kick off Lauzon’s head, and Lauzon shoots for a takedown, pulling Stout to the mat. Lauzon hanging tight to Stout’s legs, but Stout gets out and tosses Lauzon away. Body hook/leg kick from Stout. Lauzon catches a kick and clinches with Stout. Nice short standing elbow from Stout. Stout is really outboxing Lauzon now. Lauzon gets in a right, but is countered. Punches and a leg kick from Stout. Another standing elbow from Stout, and another head kick. Left hook to the body from Stout. Lauzon shoots and Stout sprawls and gets on top. He lets Lauzon back up. Uppercuts from Stout. Body kick Stout. Lauzon shoots, and pulls guard. Elbow from Stout from the top. And another before the round ends. Total dominance from Stout.
Round 3: Both guys come out firing hard. Lauzon shoots and Stout sprawls.They trade punches and kicks. Lauzon shoots and fails. He looks gassed. Stout with a 1-2/body kick combo. A leg kick and a right, having his way with Lauzon. Stout with more body punches, and a teep. Stout with a clean right. Lauzon tries to clinch and Stout pushes him off. Lauzon falls to the mat in desperation. Stout just landing strikes at will. But Lauzon catches a leg kick and takes Stout to the mat. Elbow from Lauzon. Lauzon tries for a guillotine and Stout escapes. Back on the feet. Lauzon tries for a leg-scissor takedown and falls on his ass. Stout with a teep, and more punches. Stout jacks Lauzon’s chin with a left. He tries a flying knee but hits Lauzon’s leg. Stout drives forward with more punches as the round ends. Barring judging fuck-up, he should have this.
Stout def. Lauzon via unanimous decision (30-26, 30-27 x 2). Stout is amped, jogging in place during the post-fight. He thanks his coaches and his Canadian homies.
Another undercard re-run: Kampmann submits Christmas Volkmann.
The new host of Spike’s Best of PRIDE show, Kenda Perez, is pretty damn hot. Remind me to do a "Hot Potato" gallery post on Monday.
Dustin Hazelett vs. Paul Daley
Daley’s weight-cutting botch yesterday has Rogan wondering if he’ll be worn down tonight. Time to find out. What’s up with Hazelett’s easy-listening 70′s gold AM radio entrance song, anyway? Daley gets a good deal of boos from the crowd. The crowd loves McLovin’.
Round 1: They don’t touch gloves. Hazelett somersaults forward in a ridiculous takedown attempt. FREE HAROLD HOWARD! Hazelett with a high kick. Daley returns a sharp leg kick. Hazelett a little flat footed. Daley attacks with kicks. Daley fires some punches with bad intentions. Hazelett with a left high kick and a teep. And another. Paul Daley loads up and blasts Hazelett to the mat with a left hook then finishes him with heavy shots from the top. It was a matter of time; Hazelett wasn’t moving around enough and he became a sitting duck. Semtex mimics shotgunning Hazelett, who remains on the mat, then asks Rogan how he liked it. Rogan liked it. Daley def. Hazelett via KO, 2:24 of round 1. Daley already apologizes for his shotgunning antics. Top bloke…and a front runner for KO of the Night.
And now Munoz vs. Jensen gets a replay.
Rashad Evans vs. Thiago Silva
"Step Into a World" by KRS-One vs. "Ratamahatta" by Sepultura. We’re all winners. Both fighters came from an impoverished background to claw their way almost to the top of the UFC light-heavyweight division before getting smoked by Lyoto Machida. These guys should set aside their differences and go after Machida as a team. Everyone’s favorite TUF 10 heel James McSweeney is in Evans’s corner, as are Greg Jackson, Mike Van Arsdale, and Trevor Wittman. Surprisingly mixed reaction for Sugar. Is Silva looking softer than usual?
Round 1: Evans attacks first, throwing punches before a clinch. Evans drops for a leg and gets the takedown, but Silva pops back up. So Evans just slams Silva down harder. Evans easily scores mount, but Silva spins out and gets up. Evans with a hook in the clinch. Both guys start slugging. Evans catches a knee and takes Silva down again. Evans in side-control. He spins around to Silva’s head, and Silva escapes. Back on the feet. Evans jabs. Leg kick Silva. Evans with a right straight. He dashes forward with more punches then clinches. Knee from Silva in the clinch. Hard body shots from Evans, who follows it up with a takedown. Silva works to his feet. High kick Silva and the bell. Easy 10-9 for Evans.
Round 2: Rashad comes in with hard right hooks then clinches with Silva against the fence. Silva punches out, but Evans wastes no time in taking Silva down in the center of the Octagon. Silva escapes but eats a punch for his efforts. And like clockwork, Evans takes him down again, against the fence. And again, Silva escapes to his feet. Silva says "come on." Evans dodges in and Silva sprawls. Evans rushes in again and drives Silva into the cage. Silva defends and lands a right as they separate. Thiago with a jab and a body kick. Evans scores another takedown after firing some decoy jabs. Silva climbs back up against the fence. And that’s the horn. A closer round, but it still goes to Evans.
Round 3: Evans shoots and Silva stuffs, clinching with Evans against the cage. They separate and trade hooks. Rashad bulls Silva to the ground, but Silva is immediately back on his feet. Left hook Silva. Leg kick Silva. Silva whoops the crowd up. Evans lands a hard right and Silva starts taunting him with his chin out. It’s all he can do at this point. Silva is shuckin’ and jivin’, but not doing much. But then he lands a big left/right followed by another left hook that drops Rashad! Silva pours it on as Rashad gets back up. Silva with more mockery before landing more punches. Then he just stands there with his hands on his hips. Silva’s gassed, and Evans is dazed. Evans tries for a takedown, but he doesn’t have enough juice to complete it. They clinch on the fence. Silva is getting smothered and can’t do anything else to put Rashad away. He takes the round, but will lose the decision. The crowd roars with boos.
Evans def. Silva via unanimous decision (29-28 x 30).
Evans says he got lazy in the third and it cost him. He invites Rampage to come back so they can get it on.
I guess Oliveira/Gunderson was too boring to show. And I’m off to bed — thanks for keeping us company tonight.