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UFC 113 Liveblog: Fight Night in the Land of Maple Syrup, Poutine, Strong Beer and Mounties in Montreal, Eh

(Canadian Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg will be calling the action from Quebec) 

UFC 112 is live tonight from La Belle Province and we’ll be starting round-by-round updates starting at 10pm EST.

As much as people complained about it from the get-go, the card is pretty damn good. I’m predicting that a lot of the lower profile guys are going to steal the show tonight and some of the bigger name guys are going to disappoint. 

Regardles of who wins, who loses and whose FightPicker picks shock Potato Nation and makes them a giant among men, this should be one of the better shows we’ve seen in a while

A lot of questions will finally be answered in Montreal tonight, like:

Who wins the Machida-Rua do over? 
Will Koscheck really try to stand with Daley?
Will Kimbo eat Meathead with his bread? 

Get on your Canadian tuxedos, grab a bottle of Molson and refresh often; it’s time, eh.


Preliminary results:

John Salter def. Jason "The Athlete" MacDonald by TKO (injury) 2:42 R1

Mike "Joker" Guymon def. Yoshiyuki "Zenko" Yoshida by Unanimous Decision (30-27 all judges) R3

Joey "The Mexecutioner" Beltran def. Tim "The Thrashing Machine" Hague by Unanimous Decision (30-27, 30-26, 29-28)

Johny Hendricks def. TJ Grant by Majority Decision (29-27, 29-27, 28-28) R3

Marcus "The Irish Hand Grenade" Davis def. Jonathan "The Road Warrior" Goulet by TKO (Strikes) 1:23 R2

Joe "El Dirte" Doerksen def. Tom "Filthy" Lawlor by Submission (rear-naked choke) 2:10 R2

Main Card Results:

Alan "The Talent" Belcher vs. Patrick "The Predator" Cote
Belcher gets bonus points for walking out to "Little Wing" by Hendrix. It makes up for his hideous tattoo of Johnny Cash.

Cote looks focused in spite of his "Oh Canada" walkout song choice.

Buffer going en francais to get the crowd going.

Round 1

Belcher dancing around after a failed kick attempt. "The Talent" seems a bit too comfortable. Lands a dead center kick to Cote’s junk. After a brief stoppage, Belcher lands a kick to Cote’s lead arm and another to his torso. Cote connects with a flurry of punches, but Belcher backs off. Cote takes him down and works to pass through the butterfly guard. Working a kimura from half-guard, Cote passes, only to be swept. Belcher works an arm-triangle from half-guard, but "the Predator" escapes and struggles to get out of Belcher’s grasp. The round ends with Belcher in control on top.

Round 2

Cote is the aggressor now. Again, Belcher seems too loose. Cote lands with a few heavy hooks and Belcher clinches to close the distance. Belcher landing knees against the fence and connects with an elbow, that is answered by Cote with a pair of shots of his own. Cote isn’t impressed by a knee that connects and takes Belcher down. It doesn’t last long as Belcher regains his feet and slams Cote on his face, borderline DDT-style. Belcher capitalizes on a stunned Cote and takes his back, sinks in the rear-naked choke and elicits a tap from Cote. 

Alan Belcher def. Patrick Cote by Submission (rear naked choke) 3:29 R2

In his post-fight interview with Joe Rogan, Belcher asks for a shot at Anderson Silva. Is it just me or did anyone else say, "Yeah, okay Alan. Keep telling yourself you’re ready for Anderson,"?

I seem to remember last year when Jason Day beat him soundly.

Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson vs. Matt "Meathead" Mitrione

Not sure if Mitrione picked his song, but Simple Man was a genius tune for Meathead to come out to.

Kimbo looks mean, but I’m not convinced he ever looks any different.

Mitrione looks like he’s thinking about a "Meow Mix" commercial.

Round 1

Kimbo connects with a short hook and it’s shaken off by Meathead. Mitrione tries  for a headkick and misses and after a second attempt is taken down via slam by Kimbo. After a second slam, Kimbo ends up in a triangle, but Mitrione isn’t strong enough on the ground to finish. Fighting for position, Kimbo takes Mitrione down again with a much less enthusiastic slam. Meathead throws up another weak triangle but fails to connect it. Back on their feet, they exchange sloppy knees and kicks, but Mitrione drops slice with a hard right hand. Kimbo is hurt. Mitrione tries for a gator roll, but he doesn’t squeeze or roll with enough torque to finish. The round ends with Meathead on top.

Round 2

Both men seem tired as hell, but Mitrione is the agressor early. Alternating between inside and outside leg-kicks and knees to the body, Mitrione is landing at will. Slice is gassed and taking a lot of shots. Mitrione throws another head kick and takes Kimbo down and mounts him. Landing shots from the top. Mitrione abandons an Americana (or as Gus Johnson calls it,  "a triangle") attempt to rain down shots to finish the fight.

Matt Mitrione def. Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson by TKO (strikes) 4:24 R2

Jeremy "Little Heathen" Stephens vs. Sam "Hands of Stone" Stout

Autotuner walkout songs in full effect tonight.

Stout coming out to his signature "Go to Sleep Bitch" by Eminem.

Yamasaki throwin’ up gang signs.

Round 1

Touch of gloves. Stephens land and catching a leg kick lands another right. Stout uses his legs to push back and stand back up. Stephens is throwing hard with bad intentions, smiling as a left connects. Stout staggers, but shakes off the cobwebs, countering with a left hook to the body. Stout gets dropped with the left this time and escapes from a half-hearted guillotine, but takes a knee to the forehead in the process. Stephens gets fancy with a spinning back fist, but doesn’t do any damage. Stout is light on his feet and connects with a few shots to the body. “Hands of Stone” seems bothered by the blood flowing from his nose now. Stephens is controlling the fight, landing with leg and body kicks as the round ends.

Round 2

Stephens is looking to finish and Stout is looking to set something up with technical striking. After a few ineffective shots, Stephens knocks Stout back and tries to follow up with a flying knee that fails to connect. Taking Stout down against the cage, Stephens can’t capitalize on the dominant position as Stout works for a kimura. Back on their feet, Stephens seems to be waiting for the opportunity to catch Stout with a counter. Stout’s shots seem like they’re coming from fists of foam, rather than hands of stone at this point as Stephens seems to connect 3/4 of the time. The round ends and both men seem uncharacteristically fatigued.

Round 3

Stout connects unfairly and squarely with Stephens’ Little Heathen. Brief stoppage to recover and then Stephens goes back to business trying to knock Stout’s block off. Stout repeats the left hook to the liver a la Bas Rutten. Stout seems to have his wind back and looks more fluid on his feet. Neither fighter is looking like they want this fight to finish. Stephens gets caught with a shin to the leg and looks like Paulo Filho talking to ghosts. Stout catches him napping and connects with a flurry, dropping Stephens and inflicting damage from the top while Stephens lays on his back. Standing back up, Stout fails to seize the opportunity to finish an obviously hurt Stephens and the round ends with him being taken down and regaining his feet with little fanfare.

Jeremy Stephens def. Sam Stout by Split Decision (30-27, 28-29, 29-28) R3

Josh "Bob Kos" Koscheck vs. Paul "Semtex" Daley
Daley’s walk out is all business — no smiles no jokes with his corner, just eyes forward.

Koscheck seems a bit nervous. His eyes are shifting from side to side and his face is twitching a bit.

Daley starts off with a bang and tries for a flying knee. "Semtex" is staying low, ready to sprawl. Koscheck says "Forget this shit," and takes Daley down. As Daley seems to stand back up, Kos slams him on his back. Throwing some short punches from side control against the fence, Koscheck steps into Daley’s guard. Daley is neutralizing Koscheck from doing any damage, but Koscheck takes his back with over-under and stretches Daley out looking for the rear-naked choke. He sinks it, but Daley escapes and throws a knee to Koscheck’s forehead that the replay shows didn’t hit him. It’s looking like the same situation as the Anthony Johnson eye-poke. The round ends with Koscheck failing at a single leg and with Daley hopping on one foot.

The point deduction was taken back. 

Round 2

Koscheck works for, and eventually gets another takedown, but does little when he gets it. After gaining mount, Daley shrimps out and regains half-guard. Kos seems content to lay-and-pray his way to a starring TUF role. Daley is working diligently at keeping Koscheck from mount and is trying to use the fence to stand up. Koscheck utilizes the position to take Daley’s back again, but "Semtex" is able to hold onto Koscheck’s wrists to avoid any danger. The horn sounds and Daley is happy that he gets to start again on his feet in 60 seconds.

Round 3

Daley comes out the aggressor. Grazing Koscheck with a jab and a pair of uppercuts, Daley is pushing his opponent back on his heels. After missing with a head kick, Koscheck shoots and eats a knee in the process. Koscheck pauses a few moments to get his wits back and slams Daley on his back. Quickly moving to mount, Koscheck seems content to just do enough to win the round without hurting Daley or finishing him via submission. The Fraggle blanket squeaks out another one as the horn sounds.

WHOAH!!! Daley takes the liberty of landing the left he didn’t land in the fight. He’ll be suspended and possibly fined for sure.

I guess he”s making up for Kos not wanting to fight.

Goldberg makes sure to say THIS IS NOT WHAT THIS SPORT IS ALL ABOUT. I won’t be calling Dana on Monday, FYI.

Kos endears himself to the Montreal crowd, that is now giving him a Bronx cheer, by telling them the Pittsburgh Penguins are going to kick their beloved Canadiens’ asses next week, just like he will kick their beloved "Georges St-Pierre.

Sure, Josh. Maybe in a quilting bee.

As a thank you to the bipartisan crowd, Koscheck invites them all to attend his afterparty.

Why am I picturing this ending badly like the incident with Lee Murray, Tito, Chuck Liddell and Pat Miletich brawling in the UK?

Oh, and Josh Koscheck def. Paul Daley by Unanimous Decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27) R3

Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida vs. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua

Both fighters seem confident, but Machida wins the douchiest walkout song award for his Linkin Park selection.

Here we go. 

Round 1

Shogun starts off where he left off with an opening leg kick. Machida responds in kind. Both fighters seem tentative. Rua is the first to land with a flurry of inconsequential punches, but they make Machida more cautious now. Shogun pushes Machida down, but ends up on his back. A sweep allows him the distance to get up and once there, he wastes little time in tagging the champion with a hook and a leg kick. Machida takes Shogun back down but can’t hold him there. Lyoto lands a knee in the break, but his nose is bleeding causing him some breathing issues and prompting him to open his mouth for oxygen. Rua catches Machida coming forward and drops him with a grazing hook, pounces, and finishes him with strikes from the mount with a KO finish.

Mauricio "Shogun" Rua def. Lyoto Machida by knockout 3:35 R2 to become the new UFC light heavyweight champion.

Unfortunately, Ed Soares will be tasting crow tonight instead of his own warm piss.

*Editor’s Note: Douglas Crosby gave the nod to Machida by submission.

Cagepotato Comments

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fatbellyfrank- May 10, 2010 at 1:27 am
never been one of my strong points (multitasking that is)
Mr_Misanthropy- May 10, 2010 at 1:14 am
You can kick my puppy or you can fuck my sister, but if I catch you kicking my puppy while you're fucking my sister we will have problems. I do not like multi-taskers.
fatbellyfrank- May 9, 2010 at 5:29 pm
misanthropy, jokes my friend, jokes, as If we 'd do that to our buddy, we'd be more than happy to look after your puppy and feed it for you, and I can look after your sister if you think it would help:)
fatbellyfrank- May 9, 2010 at 5:27 pm
@ Mr Misanthropy, you may want to reveiw those last two points, a few of us just went round to your house, and, well you'll see when you get home
Mr_Misanthropy- May 9, 2010 at 3:46 pm

Its OK dog, we can agree to disagree on a faceless internet forum. Its pretty hard to communicate clearly on these things anyway if your not joking around. All I was trying to say is this shit happens, has happened before, and will happen again. I just take all this shit in stride and crack jokes because nobody actually kicked my puppy or fucked my sister.
dranokills- May 9, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Oh I totally forgot to mention with all the bullshit going on that I promised to beat ALL your asses in fightpicker....OR cry like a bitch, well I am here to tell everyone I didnt beat shit, but my own meat obviously, and for that I am gonna cry like a bitch now.
I got 2 things right, Shogun and Koscheck.
I repeat, I SUCK.waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dranokills- May 9, 2010 at 12:03 pm
"Mr_Misanthropy Says:
Sun, 05/09/2010 - 11:57

Yeah, I haven't seen the shit yet but short of eating a baby on camera nothing really phases me; I'm always pretty surprised that people care about such petty shit yet wouldn't think twice if a nation of brown people gets carpet-bombed out of existence. Then again, the herd can stand to be thinned out a bit (we'll try a 65% reduction for starters), and I'd probably laugh my ass off if somebody actually chowed a screaming infant in an attempt to have a dramatic walkout.

I don't necessarily condone extreme acts of poor sportsmanship, but sometimes they add a little flavor to an otherwise somewhat pedestrian dish. And we'll get to crack jokes at Daley's expense for many moons..."

I am gonna have to say I am disappointed in your opinion of this, as I have seen some of your post and found them humorous, and so because I care enough I am just disappointed if I didn't care I might throw a small smattering of venom your way for your words, but I certainly don't feel the same way as you.
I don't consider bad sportsmanship as an acceptable practice, I didn't for anyone else so I won't for this 1 dimensional useless fucktard named daley. And I don't think feeling that way is petty. As you have observed the majority of people do not condone that shit, so petty is not the word for the norm here my friend.
As for a nation of brown people, or yellow people or anyone else s color or shade, if you get on the wrong side of power chances you will get bombed, that's how it works, but we aren't talking about bombing we are talking class, and a dude getting what he deserves, fired!
And just cause Koscheck whom I hate by the way,did the lay and pray on daley does NOT give him the right to cheap shot him, and NO excuse will ever make it right. Sure you have the right to think it's funny, and fuck yeah he will a punchline and target for everyone for along time, but that is how it is when you fuck up people will hammer you on it, but don't confuse the facts, hes a thug, and a poor loser, and he got his first lose, just like I thought, and he went fucking apeshit cause of it, and got fired, just like I thought. good riddance to garbage.

Gladheateher- May 9, 2010 at 7:25 am
It was a knockout reminiscent of Shogun Rua from Pride.
I guess the performance enhancement of piss doesnt live up to its testimonials. Im so happy we didnt have to listen to Ed Suares jabber on at the end of this fight. Also i want to say how beautiful it is that broadcasts and interviewers are editing out translations times in most video generated content +1 Billion.

Big ups to Dana White for showing everyone how to deal with thug mentality after the fight. Best shot Daily landed was after the bell.

And this folks is the end of the Machida error.
fatbellyfrank- May 9, 2010 at 4:22 am
Hey Tai-pan, he got his fucken ass kicked, sorry man, but its gonna be interesting to see how he bounces from that
Tai-Pan- May 9, 2010 at 3:30 am
After watching the pay-per-view in its entirety...

I am still all over Machida's nutz, dude will be back abd BETTER then ever. Ya I am fucking serious, but propts to Shogun. Shogun Anderson anyone? Machida Jones? Shit just got interesting.

Fuck a Daley, but who cares. Kos GSP II is going to be epic.

Honestly im but hurt tonight, Machida lost and I am paying big. So i am far from unbiased, but make no mistake, Machida will return a better fighter then he ever was before. He will be back, and he will rape everyone they put in front of him.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 9, 2010 at 2:01 am
I don't know about you, but the video of Gilbert Yvel kicking the limp corpse of the Finnish ref after he cold cocks him is right up there with Heath Herrings humorous homophobia in my book. Priceless comedy classics at their finest.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 9, 2010 at 1:57 am
Yeah, I haven't seen the shit yet but short of eating a baby on camera nothing really phases me; I'm always pretty surprised that people care about such petty shit yet wouldn't think twice if a nation of brown people gets carpet-bombed out of existence. Then again, the herd can stand to be thinned out a bit (we'll try a 65% reduction for starters), and I'd probably laugh my ass off if somebody actually chowed a screaming infant in an attempt to have a dramatic walkout.

I don't necessarily condone extreme acts of poor sportsmanship, but sometimes they add a little flavor to an otherwise somewhat pedestrian dish. And we'll get to crack jokes at Daley's expense for many moons...
LittleDoomsday- May 9, 2010 at 12:56 am
I'm neither condoning Daley's actions, nor am I saying I didn't find them slightly amusing. I think it is a bit harsh to ban him from the UFC. The UFC has contracted fighters that have done worse. Gilbert Yvel anyone?
cecils_pupils- May 8, 2010 at 11:04 pm
Okay, so I wasn't online when the fights began cuz I was atta friends place, but now I am drunk and ready to talk shit. What's up to Mike Russell, ReX13, jimbonics, fatbellyfrank, Ratel, Mr. Misanthropy, El Famouso Burrito, El Guapo, dranokills and all the homies. Haven;t read many posts, but I'll catch up...

So Meathead ran around with that smile and we all were like "Look, that's Short Bus Matt"... dude looks like he's all jazzed just to be in the big show... fuuuuuny. But glad he pulled off the win. Nice slams by Kimbo, though... he looked gassed and old.

Daley lands his best shot of the night on dickhead Kos - loved it. That's what he gets for fakin' the head trauma from the knee that didn't even land from Daley - serves that little bitch right.

And HELL YEAH Shogun KO'd Machida... dude had a third eye forming after that. Awesome night of fights... loved it!

C Ya Later Fellas!
fatbellyfrank- May 8, 2010 at 10:57 pm
@littledoomsday, Aaaayyee my brother , I feel the pain of your loss, I managed to minimise losses with the main events, but Fuck, I thought I was the kiss of death a while there into the card
LittleDoomsday- May 8, 2010 at 10:36 pm
Fucking split decision for Stephens fucked my 5 fight parlay up. Only would have won $400, but goddamnit. The thing that sucks is that I intitially thought Stephens would take it, but I bought into the Stout hype. Fucking damnit.
fatbellyfrank- May 8, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Yeah MRuss, that was me that ragged on ya for Doerksen, I actually had a chow down on some humble pie with a side of egg on face for the 2 minutes of round2 nomnomnomnom
dranokills- May 8, 2010 at 10:25 pm
well my night is complete. I just watched the post fight press conference, and Dana confirmed it; Daley was fired, thats fucking great!
End of Daley, and the end of the piss drinker era, what a perfect night.
fatbellyfrank- May 8, 2010 at 10:18 pm
And that card was IMO as entertaining as fuck, random thoughts, Belcher went OK, but Silva? c'mon. Sam Stout and Little Heathen are fucken monsters, they could have knocked down a building with some of the leather they threw, Tommy Lawlor might want to focus more on the fight rather than the entrance. Kimbo is completely legless,and will get chopped to bits whenever he enters the octagon with someone who can kick. Kos is a son of a bitch, a genuine heel who will stop at nothing to gain an advantage, but Daley is a fucken tool, he was never really in that fight(IMO), yeah he had a bit of ground defence, but Kos fucken owned him.
Wow, I knew Rua didn't want it to go to the Judges, but fuck, he sure has a way of making his point!
And I enjoyed every fucken single minute of it, Now I better go cook Darling Wifey's Mothers day dinner ( My wifey, not CP wifey)
jimbonics- May 8, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Daley is CUT bitches. Fuck that limey cunt.

.... and I HATE koscheck...
The Truth- May 8, 2010 at 10:17 pm
As expected...
Mike Russell- May 8, 2010 at 10:12 pm
Dana just said Daley will never fight in the UFC again, no matter what he does.
foxforcefive- May 8, 2010 at 10:07 pm
Nothing like putting $5 down on a 4 fight parlay...Belcher - Mitrione - Koscheck - Rua...won $59.05. Shoulda bet more I guess...
fatbellyfrank- May 8, 2010 at 10:03 pm
@ Zombierock, your kidding right? yeah Kos fought a very basic fight,but it was still enough to nullify anything Daley had, and that King Hit after the bell was fucken bullshit,what a knobjockey
The Truth- May 8, 2010 at 10:02 pm
PD will get evicted by Dana. Dana is tryin to get a major TV deal, and after the Strikeforce fiasco, he will wanna lay down the law. Especially since Daley is now hypeless and useless vs wrestlers