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UFC 133 Commentary and Play-By-Play With Twice the Philly Cheesesteak As Last Time

Well, UFC 133 is live from the home of Rocky Balboa tonight so let’s get this thing going and see how Philly does this shit.

Preliminary Bouts (On Spike TV):

Alexander Gustafsson def. Matt Hamill by TKO at 3:34, R2

Chad Mendes def. Rani Yahya by unanimous decision (30-27 on all cards)

Preliminary Bouts (On Facebook):

Ivan Menjivar def. Nick Pace by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)

Johny Hendricks def. Mike Pierce by split decision (29-28, 29-28, 28-29)

Mike Brown def. Nam Phan by unanimous decision (29-27, 29-28, 29-28)

Rafael ‘Sapo’ Natal def. Paul Bradley by unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)

Main Card (On PPV):

Rory MacDonald vs. Mike Pyle

Pyle is the first cliche of the night, coming out to Rocky’s theme song. He should have to pay Miguel Torres royalties for stealing his haircut. MacDonald comes out to “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer, which was probably a hit before he was born.

Round 1

Pyle connects with a leg kick, MacDonald grabs the leg and throws him on his back.  Pyle throws a few kicks to MacDonald’s legs, but he’s unaffected.  Pyle shoots for a takedown. MacDonald attempts a guillotine but relinquishes the hold.  Butterfly guard by MacDonald and he regains his feet.  MacDonald tries a wizzer, but Pyle dumps him again.  MacDonald gets back to his feet and tags Pyle with a right hand.  Pyle shoots for another takedown and agian gets caught in a guiolltine.  This time it’s tight.  He rolls out of the hold.  Rory dumps him on his back again and dives into his guard, where he connects with a few shots from the top.  MacDonald continues to score with short shots from Pyles’ guard.  Pyle pulls MacDonald down and attempts to roll out.  MacDonald is punishing him with short elbows and heavy shots, as PYle lays turtled on his belly.  Mario Yamasaki steps in to save Pyle.  MacDonald stands up and dusts off both shoulders. Pyle is wobbling as they stand him up.

Rory MacDonald def. Mike Pyle by TKO (strikes) 3:54 R1.

Constantinos Philippou vs. Jorge Rivera

Damn, three for three main card fighters with songs made before 1995. Philippou making his walk to Whitesnake’s “Here I go Again.” Rivera choosing the more conswervative “Blame It On My A.D.D. by The Voice. This could be “El Conquistador’s” last stand…

Round 1

Rivera grazes with a body kick and follows up with a right leg kick and a left inside leg kick.   Philippou wades in and Rivera ducks underneath and clinches.  Philippou forces him into the cage and tries some dirty boxing.  Rivera grabs the thai plumb, but Philippou dumps him on his back.  Philippou is content to lay in Rivera’s guard and drag him into the fence.  Rivera is trying to cage walk to his feet, but is taking short lefts to the face for the effort.  He gets back to his feet and clinches.  Stalling action.  Yamasaki breaks.  Again they clinch.  Again Philippou pushes Rivera into the fence.  The Philly crowd is restless with the stall tactics.  Rivera turns Philippou into the fence, and they quickly separate.  Rivera connects with left right, and Philippou immediately clinches.  Rivera pushes away from the fence and connects with a stiff left to the jaw.  Philippou throws a combo, but Rivera bobs and weaves out of trouble.  The round ends without much fanfare.  I’d say 10 -9 Rivera.

Round 2

Philippou connects with a straight.  Rivera answers back with a left.  Philippou connects with an uppercut that drops Rivera and he pounces and punishes Jorge with a dozen short rights behind the ear.  Rivera weathers the storm and pins Philippou on the cage.  Rivera stands up and connects with an uppercut, and immediately snatches a guillotine, but Philippou breaks free.  Philippou gets back to his feet and pins Rivera agains the cage, and resorts to foot stomps.  Rivera pushes him off, and again, Philippou clinches and pushes him against the cage and stomps his feet.  After a third time of the same routine, Yamasaki calls for a break, and Rivera dumps Philippou on his back and immediately lands in an omoplata.  Philippou torques the hold but Rivera isn’t about to tap.  After 30 seconds of adjustments, Philippou rolls into half guard as the round ends.

Round 3

Costa connects with an uppercut.  Rivera answers with a knee.  Rivera whiffs with a headkick and slips on his back.  Rivera connects with a right that hurts Philippou.  A follow-up left prompts Philippou to clinch again.  They break.  Philippou connects with a left, Rivera with a right.  Philippou gets the takedown.  Philippou ends up in guard and walks Rivera towards the cage.  Rivera throws up and armbar, and Philippou rolls out.  They get back to their feet.  Philippou connects with a knee to the chest.  Rivera forces him into the cage.  Philippou reverses him into the cage.  Yamasaki breaks again.  Philippou connects with a knee, and tries for a takedown and falls.  Rivera grabs a guillotine and lets go when he realizes he doesn’t have it.  Philippou is on one knee.  Rivera knees him in the body and continues to pepper him with short punches.  Rivera isn’t letting him up.  Philippou’s back is pinned against the cage.  Rivera continues to score with punches and control.  Philippou finally gets to his feet, and both fighters are exhausted.  Philippou forces Rivera into the cage.  Yamasaki breaks.  Ten seconds left, both fighters are going for it, throwing punches.  Rivera tries for a trip, but ends up pulling guard as the round ends.

Constantinos Philippou def. Jorge Rivera by split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)

Brian Ebersole vs. Dennis Hallman

Damn. Ebersole grew that hairrow back fast. They shaved it off two weeks ago. If he KOs Hallman with the cartwheel kick I’m shaving one too. Our first TRT user of the night chooses the least testosterone-inducing song “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel and proceeds to strip down to a banana hammock. Why? If that’s his training mask, he’s got problems.

Round 1

They immediately clinch and Hallman gets the takedown.  He takes Ebersole’s back.  Nasty sores on Hallman’s arm.  Ebersole shucks off the choke attempts of Hallman and punches him in the face repeatedly as he bridges, looking to roll into guard.  Hallman tires for the choke, and Ebersole rolls out and ends up on top, but Hallman latches on a tight guillotine.  Ebersole is patient and works out, as he pins Hallman on the canvas with his back against the cage.  Hallman grabs another guillotine, but Ebersole pops out.  Ebersole rears back and drops a heavy right on Hallman’s unprotected face and then follows up with a shoulder drop on Hallman’s forehead.  Hammerfists by Ebersole followed by a forearm smash.  Short elbow opens up a cut on Hallman’s forehead, and Ebersole continues to pepper his face with elbows, hammerfists and punches.  When a heavy left rolls Hallman’s eyes back in his head, it’s stopped.

Brian Ebersole def. Dennis Hallman by TKO (strikes) 4:28 R1

Yoshihiro Akiyama vs. Vitor Belfort

It will be interesting to see if Chael Sonnen‘s assertion that Akiyama hasn’t been training due to the flooding in Japan and the lack of training partners he’s had as a result will have an effect on his performance.  Hopefully Belfort’s confidence is back after he was humbled by Anderson Silva in his last fight.  He’s bringing Jesus everyday, bro.

Round 1

Akiyama connects with a leg kick, and Belfort is unfazed.  Vitor glances Sexyama’s head with a left headkick.  Belfort connects witha  straight left, left headkick combo.  Akiyama slips and quickly recovers.  Belfort lands with a kick to the body.  Akiyama throws the Anderson Silva-Steven Segal frontkick.  Vitor connects with a shot behind the left ear of Akiyama and doesn’t allow him to recover.  He lands a handful of lefts and rights and Yamasaki pulls him off as he makes Akiyama go limp with two short shots to the back of the head.

Vitor Belfort def. Yoshihiro Akiyama by KO (strikes) 1:52 R1

Rashad Evans vs. Tito Ortiz

Tito’s hired some random greasers from Cali to shout insults at him while he walks out to the cage. It’s do or die time for the Huntington Beach Bad Boy.  Rashad donning a black beard, like he’s his own evil twin brother.  Somebody needs to tell him to never dance like that again.  We’ll see if 14 months off will have an effect on Rashad’s performance tonight.  Expect some headkicks since he’s been training with Tyrone Spong for the past 6 weeks.

Round 1

Tito throws a high kick and misses. Tito is definitely the aggressor.  Tito connects with a right hook.  Rashad connects with an overhand right and clinches.  Tito scores as he pushes off.  Oriz lands a double.  Rashad looks to reverse, but Ortiz won’t let go. As Rashad tries to get back to his feet, Tito grabs for a single.  Evans cinches a guillotine, but lets go when he realizes Tito’s head’s too big.  They get back to their feet and trade punches, with Ortiz getting the worst of the exchange.  Tito holds on with over-under and lands a knee to the body.  Rashad connects with a standing elbow.  Evans now scoops Ortiz up and slams him on his back, peppering him with shots from side control.  Ortiz covers his head and turtles and attempts to spin out, running out the clock.

Round 2

Rashad whiffs with an overhand left.  Ortiz seems tired and is rubbing his nose.  Tito bumrushes in, but Rashad steps to the side and avoids all shots.  Rashad moves in for the double and Tito grabs a deep guillotine, like the one he got Bader with.  After a few tense moments, Evans pops his sweaty head out, and moves to side control.  Rashad seems winded.  Evans moves to knee-on-belly, and scores with a half dozen lefts to Tito’s jaw.  Rashad gets the mounted crucifix and lands a short elbow, but Tito pops his arm out from between Rashad’s legs.  Tito just about rolls out, but Rashad shoves him back down to the mat.  Tito rolls out and attempts an ankle lock, but Rashad reverses it and ends up again in half guard.  Rashad gets to his feet and connects with a knee to Tito’s solar plexus after an uppercut leaves his body exposed.  The impact drops Tito, knocking the wind out of him, and leaving him open for Evans to finish with five quick shots to the temple, prompting Dan Mazzagatti to call the fight.

Rashad Evans def.  Tito Ortiz by TKO 4:48 R2

Of course, Rashad would say that the guillotine wasn’t dangerous.  It looked pretty damn dangerous from where we were.  Jesus, Rashad really needs to work on that scowl.  On a scale from 1 to 10, that mean-mug was a 3 behind Uriah Faber’s.  Tito gives Rashad props and tells him to go out and win the world title.  No excuses. The new Tito Ortiz is a fighter we can get behind.  And with that, I’m out of here.  Have a good night, everybody.

Cagepotato Comments

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XENOPHON- August 7, 2011 at 11:06 am
@dranoswallows
haha...Meagan that comment was thrown in just for you, intentionally to see if you would take the bait!
If you really want to live up to your name and want to swallow the drano, I'm more than willing to give you a swirlie!
dranokills- August 7, 2011 at 10:05 am
the problem is clear sheena phone is a cum guzzling faggot....now we get it.
XENOPHON- August 7, 2011 at 10:04 am
In complete agreement, all other MMA forums suck!
XENOPHON- August 7, 2011 at 9:58 am
@MMAINMYBLOOD
You think I'm immature and prepubescent because I chose the term weakling?
So you get your frame of mind straight, in all wars there is always a weakling.
In this case, that's the one who does not get his had raised at the end of the night.
Blame it on wrestling, Brazilian Butt Fucking (BFF), striking, ground game, or submissions...but unless there is draw, one man is always proven to be weaker.

Ps...(There's your 4 sentences)
MMAINMYBLOOD- August 7, 2011 at 9:45 am
Yeah the editors are actually worse than some of the posters... here. I think they dont have high enough standards.. but hey its fun to fuck around here they wont stop anyone from posting and we have all said some shit that other sites would edit out for sure.
XENOPHON- August 7, 2011 at 9:39 am
@MMAINMYBLOOD
Much of what you say is true, the Fertitas and the Bald-father got it right for the last 10 years, but they can make it better, and own the whole enchilada if they make some changes.
Cage Potato's theme is "MMA is not a crime." This is not a site hyping the UFC, its about MMA - which encompasses all hand-to-hand combat.
Remember every sword has two edges, not one. I enjoy the ruthlessness. There are wars of words, and wars of attrition. In this case, sticks and stones don't break bones.
If what your recommending is that I should dumb down the posts to less than 4 sentences, then maybe the Cage Potato editors should do the same.
XENOPHON- August 7, 2011 at 9:21 am
@MMAINMYBLOOD

There's a good chance I missed the Sexiyama chin shot. Like Gary, I stepped out of the ring to take a shit and with half a wipe and in a dash back to the TV only saw the replay.
I too think Jones will tear the head off of any challenger. Rashad looks to be in the best shape ever, and out of the UFC ranks is likely the best competition from their organization.
Surely of all other Light heavyweight champs: Henderson (SF), M'Pumbu (Bellator), Mousasi (Dream) there is no one else who without a good deal of luck who can take that belt from Jones.
MMAINMYBLOOD- August 7, 2011 at 9:15 am
Uh oh Xenophon is dropping links on us we better watch out.. shit I thought I posted alot.. that guy never shuts up. Oh yeah Pride was amazing but everyone including the ref was juicing over there....all these people that look back on Pride and whine and cry about how good it was are just forgetting one thing that shit doesnt work.. it doesnt make money.. why do you think the Japs havent got it locked down yet? They are shit businessmen (they rely on mob influence). The Fertitas and the Bald-father got it right. I dont care about the rules as I did when I was younger....again watching people get beat down mercilessly.. something I enjoyed alot more when I was younger...Xeno.. you show your immaturity with your prepubescent laden post ... as you post here more and more you will realize u will not win ... these guys are ruthless. (not including me)
MMAINMYBLOOD- August 7, 2011 at 9:07 am
Rashad aint getting shit ... except an ass beating from Jon Jones... thats a fact....and no cp belfort didnt ko sexyama with shots to the back of the head watch again he clipped him on the way down at the last second with a shot to the chin and it was sweet. the shots to the back of the head were a bonus for making it to the fight.
XENOPHON- August 7, 2011 at 8:38 am
@Drano Swallows
I didn't join CagePotato to make friends.
I joined because it's uncensored.
Only a 21 year old pussy calls someone a NEWB.
I don't give a shit about Dana White, and I sure as hell don't want to suck his cock and tell him how good he is.
I've never watched a Tapout event. Men wearing makeup, and in drag with rainbow wigs only works for me when go to the gay bar.
Your either gonna write about the news, or me...take your pick fucko.
I watch UFC because I love to watch people get beat mercilessly. The problem is there are too many rules. It would not have taken me 30 seconds to realize Tito was sitting straight up on his knee's praying, he should have gotten a knee to the face because he sure as hell didn't belong in that fight with Rashad.
He said it himself, after the fight when he admitted the highlight of his career was beating Ryan Bader....then he lovingly gave Rashad a reach around and permission to go and get his true Championship belt back.
Who is more pathetic, you or Tito?
Come here so Xena can give you a kiss too.
XENOPHON- August 7, 2011 at 8:13 am
Comparing PrideFC to UltimateFC.
Pride was so much more exhilarating to watch, as they did not have to dumb down their rules.
In Japan religion does not play a big role in the everyday life of most Japanese people.
In the U.S. religion is used a means to rob people of freedoms.
If not for the "Bible Thumpers" the UFC would have never incorporated so many rules.
By default the UFC had to dumb down the rules to get individual state licenses.
In doing so, many fighters from the Japanese and Brazil leagues often failed to back up to the previous hype when they came to the U.S. to fight in the UFC.
That is the difference in rules.
The UFC forces it fighters to play it safe.
The UFC's niche is that they made MMA much more interesting and action packed over simple boxing, but they took the street fighters and forced them become fighters with less opportunity, and thus less aggressive in the cafe, more potato-like.
Face it, the real thrill as a spectator is not watching the hugs and kisses along with the confessions of "I'm sorry bro, all that shit I said was just to hype the fight" at the end of the fight.
The real thrill is watching the weakling get a beat down with no mercy, a act the true Christian's preach against.
dranokills- August 7, 2011 at 7:58 am
hey sheena-phone, newsflash you STILL talk to goddamn much, and nobody's listening.
Stop acting like you know anything about MMA. Stop acting like you have friends here, your still a newbs with a big mouth.
The PPV was fine, I didn't hate any of it. It might not have had the hype of the last one but it was about good fights. I think I saw good fights, your just a stupid hater of Dana White and all things UFC, I don't know why you watch, you obviously prefer inferior shows.....I'm sure tapout season 13" the big rodeo circuit" will be on soon for you.
Meanwhile do everyone a favor and shut the fuck up you bloody vagina.
XENOPHON- August 7, 2011 at 7:23 am
http://www.ufc.com/discover/sport/rules-and-regulations
Payday- August 7, 2011 at 7:19 am
You can knee the body of a downed opponent, just not the melon. See State's Evidence GSP vs. Serra II.
XENOPHON- August 7, 2011 at 7:03 am
I've never read or seen the UFC rule book, but for a fighter to avoid getting knee'd, he must have a hand on the ground.
CapNSarcasm- August 7, 2011 at 6:44 am
I think I need a rule clarification. I thought you weren't allowed to kick/knee a downed opponent. When Rashad kneed Tito in the chest at the end of the fight it looked to me like Tito was on his knees. I thought the ref was going to stop the fight and warn Rashad. What am I missing here?
XENOPHON- August 6, 2011 at 10:48 pm
Where are all the paid UFC fluffer's tonight, maybe still with Dana at the after party?
XENOPHON- August 6, 2011 at 10:45 pm
@KarmaAteMyCat

The card was the least worthy...maybe you had a different view from your AmTrack seat?

I don't know how you can claim Tito did well.
He sat with his knees on the mat, and hands off the mat for what seemed like at least 30 seconds before Evans knee-fucked his virgin celiac plexus.

You say, it's time WE get behind Tito...sure pass me the KY and I will take a run at it, even for the sloppy seconds bra.
And that's exactly what he demonstrated, a sloppy 2nd round. Since WE are all going to be so tight so soon, I'll make it a point to whisper to him that he should have fought Rashad with as much intensity that he used when he stomped around and hitting the cage after the fight.
Talk about the male version of drama, mamma.
XENOPHON- August 6, 2011 at 10:29 pm
- Tito got easily schooled before being chest thumped for sitting on his knees and praying for help.
- Sexiyama got cheap-shot'd in the back of the head, at least twice.
- Hamill needs to invest in a Miracle Ear, as his special yellow school bus is already waiting at the corner to take him to Bellator.
- Pace got Fucked out of a WIN (and the ref should be fired for not checking Menjivar's eye)
- McDonald deserves the kids meal, with prize.
- We'll save Rivera a warm seat next to Hamill on the bus.
- Absent the initial errant elbow from Ebersole, Hallman (and his pair of Frenchies) was on route to winning and would have earned a couch dance.
intercept440- August 6, 2011 at 9:49 pm
oh and before i forget . the vitor fight look back at it, vitor snuck in a jaw punch right before the back of head shots. the jaw shot is what let akiyama visit buddah for a few minutes. the back of the head shots were... well... just happened
intercept440- August 6, 2011 at 9:45 pm
dana should be kissing tito's ass for once , after that step up, and well fought fight...tito's problem is still the same one though.
if it gets out of the first round he loses tons of confidence. when he dominates the first round, he returns for the second as bad ass as the first.. tito did very well, even in his loses almost every one went the distance... call me a lunatic, but tito still has drawing power and fans love him.
(even though most of us nation members constantly bag on him)..
.
im glad he is still around..
rashad did awesome job. but i still think he is a fuckwittampon.
.
.
fuck you suga
KarmaAteMyCat- August 6, 2011 at 9:14 pm
All Banana Hammock and Hairy Arrows aside I really enjoyed this card. All the people hating on Tito and talking all this ring rust shit about Evans are clearly out of their minds. Tito really made some real effort tonight and like our fine Play by Play official this is a Tito WE can get behind. Evans looked Crisp solid as always he finished the fight via Ref stoppage and INSANE Knee to the celiac plexus(Yes I just Said that). I just don't get why people dislike either of these guys that was a fun fight I like those kinds of fights SHIT I like those kinds of cards. Meh haters gonna hate right Sparrow? :)
k-onda- August 6, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Rashad was way rustier than Tito, he aint fought in forever, in the future, Tito's only gonna get older, and Rashad's gonna get into better ring conditioning. I like Tito/Franklin, sounds good. Rashad will get jacked up buy Jones, Tito will further wither away into oblivion - but hey, how about that Ebersole!?
MKO- August 6, 2011 at 8:39 pm
Fuckdamn, I am so tired of the ring rust excuse. Too much time off. Not enough time off.
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