Well, UFC 133 is live from the home of Rocky Balboa tonight so let’s get this thing going and see how Philly does this shit.
Preliminary Bouts (On Spike TV):
Chad Mendes def. Rani Yahya by unanimous decision (30-27 on all cards)
Preliminary Bouts (On Facebook):
Ivan Menjivar def. Nick Pace by unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Rafael ‘Sapo’ Natal def. Paul Bradley by unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)
Main Card (On PPV):
Pyle is the first cliche of the night, coming out to Rocky’s theme song. He should have to pay Miguel Torres royalties for stealing his haircut. MacDonald comes out to “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer, which was probably a hit before he was born.
Pyle connects with a leg kick, MacDonald grabs the leg and throws him on his back. Pyle throws a few kicks to MacDonald’s legs, but he’s unaffected. Pyle shoots for a takedown. MacDonald attempts a guillotine but relinquishes the hold. Butterfly guard by MacDonald and he regains his feet. MacDonald tries a wizzer, but Pyle dumps him again. MacDonald gets back to his feet and tags Pyle with a right hand. Pyle shoots for another takedown and agian gets caught in a guiolltine. This time it’s tight. He rolls out of the hold. Rory dumps him on his back again and dives into his guard, where he connects with a few shots from the top. MacDonald continues to score with short shots from Pyles’ guard. Pyle pulls MacDonald down and attempts to roll out. MacDonald is punishing him with short elbows and heavy shots, as PYle lays turtled on his belly. Mario Yamasaki steps in to save Pyle. MacDonald stands up and dusts off both shoulders. Pyle is wobbling as they stand him up.
Rory MacDonald def. Mike Pyle by TKO (strikes) 3:54 R1.
Constantinos Philippou vs. Jorge Rivera
Damn, three for three main card fighters with songs made before 1995. Philippou making his walk to Whitesnake’s “Here I go Again.” Rivera choosing the more conswervative “Blame It On My A.D.D. by The Voice. This could be “El Conquistador’s” last stand…
Rivera grazes with a body kick and follows up with a right leg kick and a left inside leg kick. Philippou wades in and Rivera ducks underneath and clinches. Philippou forces him into the cage and tries some dirty boxing. Rivera grabs the thai plumb, but Philippou dumps him on his back. Philippou is content to lay in Rivera’s guard and drag him into the fence. Rivera is trying to cage walk to his feet, but is taking short lefts to the face for the effort. He gets back to his feet and clinches. Stalling action. Yamasaki breaks. Again they clinch. Again Philippou pushes Rivera into the fence. The Philly crowd is restless with the stall tactics. Rivera turns Philippou into the fence, and they quickly separate. Rivera connects with left right, and Philippou immediately clinches. Rivera pushes away from the fence and connects with a stiff left to the jaw. Philippou throws a combo, but Rivera bobs and weaves out of trouble. The round ends without much fanfare. I’d say 10 -9 Rivera.
Philippou connects with a straight. Rivera answers back with a left. Philippou connects with an uppercut that drops Rivera and he pounces and punishes Jorge with a dozen short rights behind the ear. Rivera weathers the storm and pins Philippou on the cage. Rivera stands up and connects with an uppercut, and immediately snatches a guillotine, but Philippou breaks free. Philippou gets back to his feet and pins Rivera agains the cage, and resorts to foot stomps. Rivera pushes him off, and again, Philippou clinches and pushes him against the cage and stomps his feet. After a third time of the same routine, Yamasaki calls for a break, and Rivera dumps Philippou on his back and immediately lands in an omoplata. Philippou torques the hold but Rivera isn’t about to tap. After 30 seconds of adjustments, Philippou rolls into half guard as the round ends.
Costa connects with an uppercut. Rivera answers with a knee. Rivera whiffs with a headkick and slips on his back. Rivera connects with a right that hurts Philippou. A follow-up left prompts Philippou to clinch again. They break. Philippou connects with a left, Rivera with a right. Philippou gets the takedown. Philippou ends up in guard and walks Rivera towards the cage. Rivera throws up and armbar, and Philippou rolls out. They get back to their feet. Philippou connects with a knee to the chest. Rivera forces him into the cage. Philippou reverses him into the cage. Yamasaki breaks again. Philippou connects with a knee, and tries for a takedown and falls. Rivera grabs a guillotine and lets go when he realizes he doesn’t have it. Philippou is on one knee. Rivera knees him in the body and continues to pepper him with short punches. Rivera isn’t letting him up. Philippou’s back is pinned against the cage. Rivera continues to score with punches and control. Philippou finally gets to his feet, and both fighters are exhausted. Philippou forces Rivera into the cage. Yamasaki breaks. Ten seconds left, both fighters are going for it, throwing punches. Rivera tries for a trip, but ends up pulling guard as the round ends.
Constantinos Philippou def. Jorge Rivera by split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)
Brian Ebersole vs. Dennis Hallman
Damn. Ebersole grew that hairrow back fast. They shaved it off two weeks ago. If he KOs Hallman with the cartwheel kick I’m shaving one too. Our first TRT user of the night chooses the least testosterone-inducing song “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel and proceeds to strip down to a banana hammock. Why? If that’s his training mask, he’s got problems.
They immediately clinch and Hallman gets the takedown. He takes Ebersole’s back. Nasty sores on Hallman’s arm. Ebersole shucks off the choke attempts of Hallman and punches him in the face repeatedly as he bridges, looking to roll into guard. Hallman tires for the choke, and Ebersole rolls out and ends up on top, but Hallman latches on a tight guillotine. Ebersole is patient and works out, as he pins Hallman on the canvas with his back against the cage. Hallman grabs another guillotine, but Ebersole pops out. Ebersole rears back and drops a heavy right on Hallman’s unprotected face and then follows up with a shoulder drop on Hallman’s forehead. Hammerfists by Ebersole followed by a forearm smash. Short elbow opens up a cut on Hallman’s forehead, and Ebersole continues to pepper his face with elbows, hammerfists and punches. When a heavy left rolls Hallman’s eyes back in his head, it’s stopped.
Brian Ebersole def. Dennis Hallman by TKO (strikes) 4:28 R1
It will be interesting to see if Chael Sonnen‘s assertion that Akiyama hasn’t been training due to the flooding in Japan and the lack of training partners he’s had as a result will have an effect on his performance. Hopefully Belfort’s confidence is back after he was humbled by Anderson Silva in his last fight. He’s bringing Jesus everyday, bro.
Akiyama connects with a leg kick, and Belfort is unfazed. Vitor glances Sexyama’s head with a left headkick. Belfort connects witha straight left, left headkick combo. Akiyama slips and quickly recovers. Belfort lands with a kick to the body. Akiyama throws the Anderson Silva-Steven Segal frontkick. Vitor connects with a shot behind the left ear of Akiyama and doesn’t allow him to recover. He lands a handful of lefts and rights and Yamasaki pulls him off as he makes Akiyama go limp with two short shots to the back of the head.
Vitor Belfort def. Yoshihiro Akiyama by KO (strikes) 1:52 R1
Tito’s hired some random greasers from Cali to shout insults at him while he walks out to the cage. It’s do or die time for the Huntington Beach Bad Boy. Rashad donning a black beard, like he’s his own evil twin brother. Somebody needs to tell him to never dance like that again. We’ll see if 14 months off will have an effect on Rashad’s performance tonight. Expect some headkicks since he’s been training with Tyrone Spong for the past 6 weeks.
Tito throws a high kick and misses. Tito is definitely the aggressor. Tito connects with a right hook. Rashad connects with an overhand right and clinches. Tito scores as he pushes off. Oriz lands a double. Rashad looks to reverse, but Ortiz won’t let go. As Rashad tries to get back to his feet, Tito grabs for a single. Evans cinches a guillotine, but lets go when he realizes Tito’s head’s too big. They get back to their feet and trade punches, with Ortiz getting the worst of the exchange. Tito holds on with over-under and lands a knee to the body. Rashad connects with a standing elbow. Evans now scoops Ortiz up and slams him on his back, peppering him with shots from side control. Ortiz covers his head and turtles and attempts to spin out, running out the clock.
Rashad whiffs with an overhand left. Ortiz seems tired and is rubbing his nose. Tito bumrushes in, but Rashad steps to the side and avoids all shots. Rashad moves in for the double and Tito grabs a deep guillotine, like the one he got Bader with. After a few tense moments, Evans pops his sweaty head out, and moves to side control. Rashad seems winded. Evans moves to knee-on-belly, and scores with a half dozen lefts to Tito’s jaw. Rashad gets the mounted crucifix and lands a short elbow, but Tito pops his arm out from between Rashad’s legs. Tito just about rolls out, but Rashad shoves him back down to the mat. Tito rolls out and attempts an ankle lock, but Rashad reverses it and ends up again in half guard. Rashad gets to his feet and connects with a knee to Tito’s solar plexus after an uppercut leaves his body exposed. The impact drops Tito, knocking the wind out of him, and leaving him open for Evans to finish with five quick shots to the temple, prompting Dan Mazzagatti to call the fight.
Rashad Evans def. Tito Ortiz by TKO 4:48 R2
Of course, Rashad would say that the guillotine wasn’t dangerous. It looked pretty damn dangerous from where we were. Jesus, Rashad really needs to work on that scowl. On a scale from 1 to 10, that mean-mug was a 3 behind Uriah Faber’s. Tito gives Rashad props and tells him to go out and win the world title. No excuses. The new Tito Ortiz is a fighter we can get behind. And with that, I’m out of here. Have a good night, everybody.