Dana White says that Alistair Overeem has “never fought in the big show.” So what is PRIDE, chopped liver?

Nam Phan vs. Jimy Hettes
Phan comes out to “Move Your Feet” by Junior Senior. Good times, bro.

Round 1: Hettes starts with a high kick. Hettes shoots for a single and gets it. Phan gets to his feet, Hettes stays on him, drags him back to the mat. Phan gets to his feet, eats a knee on the way up. Hettes tries to set up a guillotine choke, but loses it, and starts unloading with heavy ground and pound. Phan looks rocked. Hettes takes Phan’s back and continues to fire bpunches from behind. Phan rolls, tries to kick Hettes off. He takes a few more punches before escaping to his feet. They clinch up against the fence briefly before separating. Phan lands a right. Hettes clinches and scores a textbook judo toss. Hettes scores mount. Hettes goes for the straight armbar. Phan is doing his best to resist. Hettes uses a free arm to soften Phan up with punches to the head and body. Hettes still trying for that ‘bar. He returns to full mount and smashes him with punches to the bell. 10-8 for Hettes, easy.

Round 2: Hettes with a head kick. He shoots and Phan defends. Hettes shoots, drags Phan down. Phan goes for a leglock off his back, Hettes pulls away. Hettes lands a point-blank punch from above. Hettes tries to set up a side-choke. Phan escapes and reverses on top. Now Phan is throwing down some punches and elbows. Hettes grabs on and gets to his feet. Hettes landing punches from a standing clinch. Phan gets out but Hettes immediately takes him down again. Phan up and out again. 1-2 from Hettes. Hettes tries to drag Phan down again, and succeeds. Hettes in side-control, raining down blows. Phan gets up, Hettes considers a guillotine. They end the round clinched against the cage. Probably a 10-9 for Hettes.

Round 3: This is the first time that Hettes has been in the third round of a fight, and he looks fatigued on the stool. Phan’s been here many times before. He looks fresh, and throws some quick punches. But Hettes grabs him and scores a takedown. Hettes with a knee to the body as Phan works to his feet. Hettes slams him down again. Punches to Phan’s grill. Phan gets up, eats a knee. Phan lands a right, then a body shot. Hettes looks gassed, but he still has enough in the tank to take Phan down again. Hettes on top, looking for an arm triangle. He can’t get it. More ground and pound from Hettes. Phan is helpless under the assault. Hettes finishes strong in the last ten seconds, whaling on Phan to the horn. I have that one scored 30-26 Hettes.

Hettes def. Phan via unanimous decision (30-25 x 2, 30-26). Props to the judges for actually awarding some 10-8 rounds. Hettes is on his way.

Vladimir Matyushenko vs. Alexander Gustafsson

After retiring Matt Hamill, Gustafsson says his goal is now to retire Matyushenko. New nickname suggestion: Alexander “The Gold Watch” Gustafsson. Either that or ”The White Jon Jones.”

Round 1: Gustafsson sticks his arm out, measuring. Matyushenko comes in wild with a left hook, overhand right, missing both and nearly falling over. Leg kick Gustafsson. Gustafsson tries a straight kick to the body, Matyushenko catches it and shakes him off. Hard leg kick from Gustafsson. Matyshuenko gets caught hard with a jab coming in and drops like a sack of potatoes. Gustafsson gets to work with hammerfists and punches until the ref rushes in to stop it. Gustafsson def. Matyushenko via TKO, 2:13 of round 1. The replay shows Matyushenko throwing a wide hook, dropping his right hand, and dashing directly into Gustafsson’s fist.

Jon Fitch vs. Johny Hendricks

Round 1: OHHHHH! Hendricks lands the straight left from hell, and Fitch goes down stiff as a board. One more follow-up shot on the ground, and it’s all over. Twelve seconds, you guys. Hendricks def. Fitch via KO, 0:12 of round 1. Fitch skillfully reverses Steve Mazzagatti after the stoppage, then realizes he’s wrestling the ref. Awkwaaaaard.

We get Dong Hyun Kim vs. Sean Pierson from the prelims. Stun Gun showing off his striking in the first round, getting the better of Pierson in the exchanges. Kim nails a high-altitude toss on Pierson, but Pierson reverses and takes Kim’s back. The round ends before he can capitalize. Round 2 is more of Kim outlanding Pierson. He lands a Machida-style crane-kick, but Pierson stays on his feet. He does it again and puts Pierson on queer street! Dong’s got some balls on him. Pierson is saved by the bell. Kim stays in control in the final round, scoring a pair of takedowns. Kim clinching the fight with top control. The ref stands ‘em, and Kim tries the jumping front kick again, but misses it. He actually throws it twice more before the fight is over. Pierson gets handled on all fronts, and Kim takes the decision in a 30-27 x 3 shutout.

Hey, somebody make a GIF of Gina Carano dancing. That was nice.

Well you’ve made it this far, so hit the “next page” link for round-by-round results from Diaz vs. Cerrone and Lesnar vs. Overeem.

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