MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

‘UFC 145: Jones vs. Evans’ — The Good, The Bad, And the Ugly


(Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.com.)

By Jason Moles

Reflecting on UFC 145, one can only agree that that was an incredible way to break the fast of Zuffa-branded MMA action. Now that it’s all over, let’s take a moment to sort through the night’s biggest winners, losers, and everything in between. Oops, wrong site. So what five things did we learn from the event? Nope, that’s not right either. Here’s UFC 145′s MMA Stock Market The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Yeah, that’s it.

The Good

• Travis Browne. In a Brock Lesnar vs. Alistair Overeem: Where Are They Now?” href=”http://www.cagepotato.com/brock-lesnar-vs-alistair-overeem-where-are-they-now/” target=”_blank”>shrinking weight division, the undefeated “Hapa” continues his streak of dominance. After submitting Chad Griggs with an arm triangle choke in the first round, top-ten heavyweights are forced to pay this man some notice — especially now that he’s finishing opponents on the mat, which seemed to surprise Browne as much as anybody. Look for the big man to get a big step up in his next outing.

• Young Fighters Performing Like Veterans. Rory MacDonald and Jon Jones are two of the youngest fighters in the UFC, but you wouldn’t have been able to tell that purely from watching them in action Saturday night. At 22 and 24 respectively, the young guns showed us that virtuosity beats experience. Georges St. Pierre has praised MacDonald for a while now, going as far as saying that he will be the next Georges St. Pierre — a mighty high compliment considering the source. In all of his 14 pro bouts, “Ares” has only gone to a decision once. Even his one loss to UFC interim welterweight champion Carlos Condit came in exciting fashion and earned him a Fight of the Night bonus. The countdown has already begun. Liftoff is imminent. Hope this kid isn’t scared of heights.

As for the champion, Jon “Bones” Jones retained his 205 lb. strap after he carved out an elbow-shaped cave in Rashad Evans‘ forehead. Even with emotions running high and the world taking pause to watch genuine bitter enemies fight it out, Jones kept his composure and never once hinted at cracking under the brightest of spotlights. The fight was never really all that close, at least not as close as one would expect it to be with Bones fighting an opponent who’s former champion as well as a former sparring partner. Jones’ masterful performance in the Octagon on Saturday night makes me hope the UFC offers to pay for the funeral of his next opponent. I mean, the guy’s already left four former champions in body bags.

• Guys Who Make Rape Jokes Getting KTFO. I don’t care if it was a line from a hit TV show or not, rape is no laughing matterMiguel Torres was cut from the UFC for his blunder, and re-signed after making a concerted effort to make amends for his transgressions. Though his debt to society had been paid, Michael “Mayday” McDonald — another impressive young up-and-comer — dished out his own brand of justice to the master of mullets. Defeating a former champ is always noteworthy, even if Torres is playing on the back nine, so to speak. One well-executed uppercut was all that was needed from McDonald to send the former WEC bantamweight champion to the canvas for the night. I bet Torres never saw that coming. Good thing everyone loves surprises.

Matt Brown’s Testicular Fortitude. Brown fought a game opponent in Stephen Thompson whose famed karate was key in busting up Brown’s face, but was virtually useless when the fight hit the mat. Nonetheless, as the fight progressed into the final minutes of the third round, Thompson landed a 1-2 combo and nearly won the fight. Goldie and Rogan insisted that Brown was in trouble, hurt, rocked and various other synonyms. If half of what they said was true, then maybe “Immortal” is more than just a nickname for Matt Brown.

• Joe Rogan busting Mike Goldberg’s balls. It never, ever gets old.

The Bad

Brendan Schuaub’s Chin. It’s no coincidence that all three of Brendan Schaub‘s losses have come by way of (T)KO. Some guys can take a punch, others can’t. Either the Colorado native needs to work on a different game plan for heavy hitters, or he should make reservations at Sharmar Village Care Center.

• Rashad Evans’ Unwillingness to “Go for Broke.” Being down four rounds to none is the definition of having one’s back against the wall. You cannot retreat. You have no other recourse than to fight your heart out, risking life and limb, and another embarrassing KO face, for the chance to wear UFC gold once again.  This is your chance to prove what you’ve been saying for over a year to be true. Pop quiz hotshot, what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? In the case of Rashad Evans, ‘nothing’ is answer.

The MMA Live Curse Returns. Miguel Torres and Rashad Evans, both former ESPN MMA Live co-hosts, walked away in defeat at UFC 145. Some say it’s because their opponents were just that damn good or that the difference in reach was an insurmountable disadvantage for Rashad. Others, however, blame a completely provable, totally natural curse from a few years back — which we conveniently never mention unless it benefits us.

The Ugly

That Color Blind Ref. I swear the referee for the Bocek/Alessio fight was wearing a pair of UPS pants. Although still not as big of a wardrobe malfunction as this (SFW), it was certainly distracting.

The Faces of Mark Hominick and Eddie Yagin.

Marcus Brimage and Maximo Blanco following up a shitty fight with a ridiculous gymnastics demo.

The Sight of Brendan Schaub Reaching at a Phantom After Being Savaged By Ben Rothwell. Although the GIFs it spawned made it all worth it…

Cagepotato Comments

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niurr- April 24, 2012 at 12:42 pm


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gunner- April 24, 2012 at 6:41 am
Rape jokes aren't funny.


Unless it's about raping dead babies.
Redping- April 24, 2012 at 12:14 am
you must be a really petty person if you want to see a man get KTFO'd for making a reference to a joke from a TV show.

you are an insecure and immature person, I don't see why you get to type your opinion out to so many people.
linzhanbl- April 23, 2012 at 7:14 pm
http://tinyurl.com/goodb4biz
dranokills- April 23, 2012 at 3:18 pm
You know Moles you would almost be worth a good read, if only you would take Jon Jones nutsack out of your mouth and stop warming it up for him.
jasonmoles- April 23, 2012 at 6:11 pm
You know, Drano, you're probably right. Them fuzzy peaches are probably warm enough.
enrikk- April 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm
I'd still like to see someone give Rashad credit for that performance. Everyone always talks about Jon Jones' reach so much that people keep overlooking the fact that Jon was a LOT more effective at close range than anyone anticipated. Even Evans himself said that you had to fight Jones at close range to get a victory, and that's why so many fans put their money on Evans... but Jones put him on notice with those elbow shots that surprised him consistently throughout the fight. Again, I understand the "go for broke" sentiment, but Rashad didn't totally drop the ball all on his own - Jones was simply keeping him uncomfortable at the range where Evans was predicted to be effective. It was a better fight than a lot of people are realizing.
FilmDrunk- April 23, 2012 at 1:09 pm
I understand how blog authorship works. I just fundamentally disagree with your premise that bad things shouldn't be joked about. That's the whole point of humor! I understand the "You shouldn't joke about that!" shrillness when it's coming from some uneducated dude in HR who doesn't understand humor, but it's disappointing to see it on a website that just got in trouble for something any a-hole with half a brain would know was just a joke.
HEY- April 23, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Also, it appeared that after a certain point in the fight, Evans was just tryna avoid getting knocked out or submitted like Jones' other opponents. Prolly couldn't stand even the thought another well publicized knock-out face...
HEY- April 23, 2012 at 1:02 pm
"Good thing everyone loves surprises" ahahahahahhaaa
jasonmoles- April 23, 2012 at 12:52 pm
Should have added the following statement for FilmDrunk: "The thought expressed above are mine and do not reflect that of CagePotato or Break Media."
Todd M- April 23, 2012 at 9:06 pm
Ah, you work for CP dickhead so your thoughts absolutely reflect those of CP. Rape is no laughing matter huh? well neither is cheering for someone getting seriously concussed as if it some brand of karmic justice, fuckwit.
FilmDrunk- April 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm
I understand how blog authorship works. I just fundamentally disagree with your premise that bad things shouldn't be joked about. That's the whole point of humor! I understand the "You shouldn't joke about that!" shrillness when it's coming from some uneducated dude in HR who doesn't understand humor, but it's disappointing to see it on a website that just got in trouble for something any asshole with half a brain would know was just a joke.
FilmDrunk- April 23, 2012 at 1:05 pm
I understand how blog authorship works. I just fundamentally disagree with your premise that bad things shouldn't be joked about. That's the whole point of humor! You're trying to de-fang things that are scary. I understand the "you shouldn't joke about that!" shrillness when it's coming from uneducated people who don't know anything about humor, but it especially bothers me to see it on a website that just got in trouble for saying something any asshole with half a brain would know was a joke.
FilmDrunk- April 23, 2012 at 12:48 pm
It's not a "rape joke," it's a wordplay joke, you humorless dipshit. I would've thought a site like CagePotato would take a stand against this tide of misplaced outrage. Anyone who says "you should never joke about ____!" can go fuck themselves, in my book.
howardsternspenis- April 23, 2012 at 12:34 pm
those gifs are the funniest thing ive ever seen....
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