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UFC 146: Dos Santos vs. Mir — Live Preliminary Card Results and Commentary

It may be an all heavyweight main card, but the bantamweight is stealing the show. Props:

We’re just hours away from UFC 146, so it’s time to turn on FX and watch the preliminary card. This evening’s all heavyweight main card will kick off with the lighter guys, as Diego Brandao makes his first post-TUF appearance against Darren Elkins, Dan Hardy and Mayhem Miller fight for their careers against Duane Ludwig and C.B. Dollaway, and Edson Barboza takes on Jamie Varner in what may potentially be the squash match/upset of the year. Handling tonight’s liveblogging duties will be Seth Falvo, who will be frantically checking to see if his beloved Philadelphia 76ers can take Game Seven during commercial breaks. Come in after the jump for live play-by-play.

Good evening, jerks. I just got back from Bellator 70 in New Orleans. I’m running on two hours of sleep and three cans of Rockstar Xdurance. What I’m trying to say is, let’s just jump right into it, and try not to complain about typos, okay?

Dan Hardy vs. Duane Ludwig

Round One: Both guys start off respecting each other’s striking, hesitant to rush each other. Hardy gets clipped, as Ludwig clinches up and lands some knees to Hardy’s body. Dan Hardy recovers, and pushes Ludwig against the cage, throwing some occasional hooks to Ludwig’s body. Hardy breaks, and lands a nice combination. And a follow-up 1-2. Head kick Ludwig. Hardy throws a 1-2, and misses with the left hook. Nice knee by Ludwig, as Dan Hardy works for a takedown. Hardy now has Ludwig pinned against the cage, but Ludwig is landing knees to the body of “The Outlaw”. Just as Joe Rogan starts praising Hardy’s lead left hook, Hardy lands one right to the jaw of Duane Ludwig. He momentarily celebrates, then finishes the fight with some elbows to a downed Ludwig until Josh Rosenthal stops it. Good start to the night.

Dan Hardy def. Duane Ludwig via KO, 3:51, Round One

And before anyone brings it up: Yes, I heard Arianny was arrested this morning. I didn’t say she was stealing the show for good reasons.

C.B. Dollaway vs. Jason “Mayhem” Miller

Round One: Miller comes out and lands a cross right to Dollaway. Mayhem appears to lock in a guillotine, but Dollaway is out and takes Mayhem’s back. Miller gets back up, and gives Dollaway a noogie. Seriously. Dollaway lands a cross, and now they’re back in the center of the cage. Dollaway drops Mayhem with another cross, causing Joe Rogan to speculate that Mayhem has blown out his knee, which is already wrapped and bandaged.  His inability to stand seems to support that theory. Dollaway takes Mayhem’s back, but he can’t get his hooks in. The crowd starts to boo, as Dollaway is doing nothing but hold on, as Mayhem is unable to stand. Miller tries getting up, although Dollaway is doing a good job at keeping Miller down. I wish he would, you know, do something, but I digress. Dollaway works for a kimura, but gives up on it and mounts Mayhem. Miller escapes, and manages to stand as the round ends.

Round Two: Nice jab by Dollaway. Miller is clearly favoring that knee, as Dollaway earns a takedown, but lets Miller back up. Miller catches Dollaway behind the ear, and works to finish, but Dollaway reverses position. Miller manages to get up, but Dollaway has him pinned against the cage. The crowd is booing the lack of action, as Dollaway unsuccessfully attempts a takedown. Miller works for a guillotine, as the crowd boos louder. Miller gives up on the guillotine, and Dollaway throws a few punches from Miller’s half guard. Emphasis on “a few”. This crowd is nearly booing these guys into actually doing something. The Boston Celtics are on top of the Philadelphia 76ers, 17-14, if you’re curious. The round ends with Dollaway in Mayhem’s guard, and the crowd is not impressed.

Round Three: Miller throws a couple of punches, but Dollaway takes him down by that bad knee, and the crowd boos. Miller’s right hand is trapped behind his back, if Dollaway wants to, you know, throw some punches or something. The ref continues to warn them to work, the crowd continues to boo…anyone mind if I change it to the Sixers/Celtics game? Okay, fine. Dollaway now has Miller’s back, and tries to get his hooks in as he occasionally throws a punch. It’s kind of funny to hear Joe Rogan try to save this one. Dollaway finally gets his hooks in, as Miller grabs the cage. C.B. is FINALLY throwing some punches that Mayhem isn’t even trying to defend. Dollaway mounts Miller as this “fight” comes to an end. The crowd boos loudly.

Peace out, Mayhem. I wish I could say it’s been fun to watch you in the UFC.

C.B. Dollaway def. Jason “Mayhem” Miller via unanimous decision.

Dollaway talks about how he was hurt during the second round, how he was injured before this contest, and gives a shoutout to Miami Heat forward Mike Miller, who is part owner of Power MMA & Fitness, where C.B. trains. The crowd is not done booing as we cut to commercials.

No comment on the judge who scored this one 30-26. 29-28 is acceptable, as anyone who gets a noogie during a round automatically loses it in my book.

Edson Barboza vs. Jamie Varner

If the prelims were a Gallagher show, this would be the point where the audience shields themselves with plastic while cheering loudly. If this one somehow doesn’t deliver blood, you can all blame me for jinxing it with that last sentence. Oh no…not Steve Mazzagatti.

Round One: Leg kicks from Barboza as this one starts off. Head kick attempt from Barboza, but Varner catches it and takes him down. Varner now in Barboza’s half guard and throwing punches. After that last “fight”, the crowd is conditioned to boo anything that happens on the ground, and reacts accordingly. Barboza gets back up and throws a leg kick. “Barboza” chants from the crowd, as Varner counters a leg kick with a nice cross. Varner is yet to check a leg kick, and Barboza is really taking advantage. Varner catches Barboza with a huge cross, and takes him down. Barboza gets away, but then gets rocked by another huge cross (?!?!?!?!) and rains down punches until Mazzagatti stops it.

Well HOL-LEE SHIT! It was short and brutal alright, but not nearly in the way that anyone who has paid attention to MMA since 2008 and isn’t named “Varner” was expecting. Yeah, you can call it a comeback.

Jamie Varner def. Edson Barboza via TKO (punches), 2:23, Round One.

True story: Autocorrect tried to fix that last sentence.

We’ve got Kyle Kingsbury vs. Glover Teixeira from the Facebook preliminary card in order to kill time. Other than Kingsbury’s killer mustache, this fight was all Teixeira. Dominant performance capped off with an arm-triangle choke submission, 1:53 into Round One.

Last fight before the PPV up next.

Diego Brandao vs. Darren Elkins

But before we get to that, we’ve got some obligatory hype for the PPV, as Rogan and Goldberg act like Velasquez vs. Bigfoot should be a close fight. Then again, after what we’ve already seen tonight, I dont know what to believe about anything anymore.

Round One: Nice combination from Brandao, capped off with a leg kick. Huge swing and a miss from Brandao, as Elkins gets Brandao to the ground. Nice reversal from Brandao, who ends up in Elkins’ guard. Elkins attempts a kimura, but loses it, as Brandao stands up. Brandao is really swinging for the fences, but he’s missing. Nice knee from Brandao, as Elkins is dropped and Brandao ends up in side control. He throws a few punches, notices Elkins attempt a submission, and then stands back up. Nice 1-2 from Elkins. Brandao lands one of those huge right hands and follows up with another cross, dropping Elkins. Elkins recovers and attempts a guillotine, but Brandao escapes and rains down punches from inside Elkins’ guard. Elkins grabs an arm, but is unable to do anything with it. Brandao stands up, throws a kick to the downed Elkins and then lands another right hand. Elkins holds on as this one comes to an end.

Round Two: They touch gloves. Elkins throws a left hook that completely misses. Nice knee from Brandao. Brandao attempts a lead uppercut, which is countered nicely by Elkins with a cross. Nice back elbow from Brandao. Rogan compares it to Anderson Silva, Goldberg compares it to Jon Jones, and they’re both wrong, as that elbow barely phased Elkins. Brandao slips, and Elkins winds up in Brandao’s guard. Brandao attempts an upkick, and nearly gives up his back as it misses. Elkins back in Brandao’s guard attempting to pass, as Brandao throws elbows from the guard. Elkins passes to half guard, and eventually gets full mount. Big punches from Elkins, and Brandao looks hurt. The crowd is chanting “Diego” as this round comes to an end.

Round Three: Brandao is clearly gassed, and throws some desperate lead uppercuts. Elkins counters with a 1-2, and manages to get Brandao to the ground. Elkins throws punches from Diego Brandao’s guard, as Rogan explains that Brandao wasted all of his energy looking for the finish in the first round. Full mount by Elkins with half of a round left, as he begins to rain down punches. Elkins with an arm-in guillotine, but Brandao escapes and stands back up. Brandao manages to drag Elkins down and looks to mount Elkins, but Elkins manages to pull guard. Brandao is too gassed to put together any meaningful offense, as this one comes to an end with Elkins throwing punches from the guard. I’ve got it 29-28 Elkins.

Okay, I’m glad I’m not the only one who heard Joe Rogan say “He’s getting fucked up” at the end of the second round.

Darren Elkins def. Diego Brandao via unanimous decision.

Very interesting night of fights. It looks like the Sixers are down by four, the heavyweights are about to take over the card, and the preliminary broadcast is coming to a close. That”s all for me tonight. Enjoy the main card.

Cagepotato Comments

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linzhancm- May 29, 2012 at 7:22 am
Evilgoat666- May 26, 2012 at 9:02 pm
Any streams?
DangadaDang- May 26, 2012 at 6:48 pm
Well, if the undercard is any indication, I've got Frank Mir by KO (ridge hand strike) at 4:15 in the first.
The12ozCurls- May 26, 2012 at 6:51 pm
You better hope Mir does something because that Sass bet ain't gonna pay for your hookers and blow
The12ozCurls- May 26, 2012 at 6:47 pm
Gambling Enabler has his butthole puckered right now waiting for this decision. I think Elkins won rounds 2 (clearly) and 3. This is gonna break the parlay early.
SonOfSerbia- May 26, 2012 at 6:41 pm
holy shit Joe Rogan droppped an "F" bomb on FX...he's gettin fucked up! lol....
The12ozCurls- May 26, 2012 at 6:48 pm
I think he said "thumpin' him up" but I could be wrong.
The12ozCurls- May 26, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Well, that was unexpected. Elkins has a huge set of balls.
The12ozCurls- May 26, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Elkins left ear looks like a half-eaten bran muffin
The12ozCurls- May 26, 2012 at 6:34 pm
Damn, Elkins can take a beating. That jumping knee was brutal.
SethF- May 26, 2012 at 6:25 pm
*picks up phone* "Las Vegas Police Department"
"What the fuck is your problem?"
ReX13- May 26, 2012 at 6:24 pm
what's up with the elkins lazy eye?
Viva Hate- May 26, 2012 at 6:14 pm
I am in shock, I mean how could that poor sweet girl Arianny get arrested, this must be some sort of case of mistaken identity! DW has officially banned the Las Vegas PD from attending any UFC events.
angry little feet- May 26, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Dare we hope it was Tiki she beat up?
Viva Hate- May 26, 2012 at 6:29 pm
Ahh the ever growing list of people who have kicked Tiki's ass gets more interesting.
NomadRip- May 26, 2012 at 6:36 pm
The saddest part would be that he called...
angry little feet- May 26, 2012 at 6:39 pm
I bet it was a more fun fight to watch than Mayhem/Dolloway.
angry little feet- May 26, 2012 at 6:08 pm
anybody who bet on Varner is grinning like a mule chewing barbed wire in a windstorm right about now.
DangadaDang- May 26, 2012 at 6:06 pm
My brain hurts.
angry little feet- May 26, 2012 at 6:05 pm
Jamie Varner. Huh. Didn't see that coming.
ReX13- May 26, 2012 at 6:04 pm
what the actual fuck just happened?
El Guapo- May 26, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Daaaaaamn, son!!
ReX13- May 26, 2012 at 6:03 pm
whatup alf
angry little feet- May 26, 2012 at 5:54 pm
Greetings Jerks.
ReX13- May 26, 2012 at 5:50 pm
30-26 for Dollaway's drunken ballet?
DangadaDang- May 26, 2012 at 5:53 pm
DangadaDang- May 26, 2012 at 5:49 pm
30-26?! Damn, son.
El Guapo- May 26, 2012 at 5:44 pm
(British accent)"You sirrr, have been wrestlefucked. Proper wrestlefucked."
ReX13- May 26, 2012 at 5:39 pm
and miller is gassed after one round again? his employment outlook isn't great right now.
Anhonestmoose- May 26, 2012 at 5:39 pm
I feel like if Miller's leg wasn't fucked, we would already be talking about that sweet (t)ko.
El Guapo- May 26, 2012 at 5:38 pm
Is Dolloway drunk? He's stumbly(not a real word)like a mothertrucker..
ReX13- May 26, 2012 at 5:38 pm
wtf is up with this Miller-Dollaway fight? jesus wept, dollaway has the standup defense of a six year old
FightZen- May 26, 2012 at 6:35 pm
And Miller has the TD defense of a 2 yr old. Weak fight...