11 Famous Actors and Their Embarrassing Early Film Roles

‘UFC 149: Faber vs. Barao’ Aftermath — Filling in the Blanks


Fact: You had a 63% better chance of seeing a fight at a Calgary Flames game than you did at UFC 149, according to a study I made up for this caption. Props: The Calgary Sun

When I first sat down to write this aftermath, I wrote five paragraphs of a Jim Cornette rant about how dreadful the main card of UFC 149 was to sit through. Even the most jaded UFC fan boys – the types who comment “Its fights stop complaneing ur not real UFC fan if u dont liek this TapouT tribal tatz NEVER BACK DOWN!!!!!” on YouTube videos of Jacob Volkmann vs. Antonio Mckee- would be hard-pressed to say that UFC 149 was worth watching, let alone paying for. Then I realized that that wouldn’t be fair. Not because a longwinded rant about boredom isn’t a fair assessment of the main card, but rather it isn’t fair to the fans to force them to relive the lowest of the low points from last night. We can all agree that the less that is written about the main card, the better.

So in that spirit, I give you the first ever Cage Potato Fill-In-The-Blank aftermath. Simply pick one of the applicable fighters listed below and plug his name into the blanks. The result will be a mostly accurate analysis of both his performance last night and the future ramifications brought on by it. Enjoy.

Applicable Fighters*: James Head, Brian Ebersole, Cheick Kongo, Shawn Jordan, Tim Boetsch**, Hector Lombard.

I know that the Polly Pessimists and Debby Downers who make up the MMA media are often too hard on fighters, but in this case it’s well deserved: The performance of  __________ at last night’s UFC 149 absolutely sucked. He let a golden opportunity slip through his fingers, and seemed perfectly content with this while doing so. If last night was a first date with a perfect ten, then he showed up in sweatpants, took her to Whataburger and then asked for gas money on the ride home.

Before last night, only the most hardcore UFC fans knew who __________ was. While the casual fans would have probably recognized the name “__________,” their knowledge of his career either ended there or they knew him for the wrong reasons (i.e. his physical appearance, his collegiate sporting achievements, some fights he lost; etc.) With the UFC 149 injury curse draining the card of every big name other than Urijah Faber, this was __________’s big chance to get over with these fans, to make a name for himself in his weight class and to prove that he deserves more time on the Pay-Per-View portion of cards and higher profile fights. A gutsy, entertaining performance arguably would have done this; a gutsy, entertaining victory certainly would have. 

Instead, __________ let Matt Riddle steal the spotlight. Simply put, Riddle capitalized on the way that Siyar The Great’s injury granted him a spot on the main card in ways that no one else did. Despite a terrible “low blow” (that was completely clean) that prevented Riddle from finishing Chris Clements in the first round, Riddle kept his composure and outgrappled Clements for the rest of the fight. In the third round, Riddle managed to lock in a standing arm-triangle choke off of a failed spinning backfist attempt from Clements. Once he took the dynamic Canadian striker to the ground, he tightened the choke and earned the tap. The $65k Submission of the Night bonus he took home should compliment all of the new fans and increased exposure he earned from this performance nicely.

I emphasize that __________ let Riddle steal the spotlight. While “Deep Waters” put on an entertaining fight for the Calgary fans, __________ did his best to put them to sleep. We were reminded throughout the night of  __________’s  __________ (knockout power/creative offense are your choices here). Rather than actually using it, __________ opted to take part in three rounds too abysmal for even ProElite to acknowledge. I understand that you have to fight intelligently to pick up a victory at this level, and that getting careless while trying to give the fans a good fight is a great way to end up on the canvas. But that doesn’t justify three rounds of avoiding any type of meaningful engagement with your opponent. Although, to be fair to __________, his opponent wasn’t exactly chasing him around like Nate Quarry. 

This was supposed to be a coming out party for __________, and did he ever waste it. His performance doesn’t warrant a step up in competition. It doesn’t warrant a spot in the main event in the near future. Rather, it just further exposed the flaws in his game that detractors have been quick to point out. If you’re still on The  __________ Bandwagon, stretch out. You’ve got plenty of room to do so.

*No, I’m not including Renan Barao vs. Urijah Faber. Yes, the fans were quick to boo, but at that point it was mostly out of instinct. Watch the fight again if you don’t believe me. Sure, it wasn’t exactly Torres vs. Mizugaki, but it was a solid showcase from both fighters. In the end, the bout proved exactly what we already knew: Urijah can’t check a leg kick, he’s been choking in title fights ever since losing the WEC Featherweight Championship to Mike Brown (seriously, he’s 0-5 in his last five title fights. Eat your heart out, KenFlo.), and a guy doesn’t go thirty fights without a loss unless he’s a special talent.

Chris Clements also gets a pass. Sure, he didn’t go out and win, but Matt Riddle was just the better man last night. Sometimes that happens in MMA.

**For what it’s worth, Boetsch injured himself in the second round of his fight last night. Not that he looked amazing up until that point in the fight, but it’s worth pointing out.

Two more things: Fight of the Night went to Bryan Caraway and Mitch Gagnon for their highly entertaining battle that kicked off the prelims on FX. It was pretty much all downhill from there. And knockout of the night? Former Cagepotato.com contributor Ryan Jimmo. Seven seconds. Bitches.

Full Results:

Main Card:

Renan Barao def. Urijah Faber via unanimous decision
Tim Boetsch def. Hector Lombard via split decision
Cheick Kongo def. Shawn Jordan via unanimous decision
James Head def. Brian Ebersole via split decision
Matt Riddle def. Chris Clements via submission (arm- triangle choke), 2:02 of Round Three

Preliminary Card:

Nick Ring def. Court McGee via unanimous decision
Francisco Rivera def. Roland Delorme via KO (punch), 4:19 of Round One
Ryan Jimmo def. Anthony Perosh via KO (punch), 0:07 of Round One
Bryan Caraway def. Mitch Gagnon via submission (rear-naked choke), 1:39 of Round Three
Antonio Carvalho def. Daniel Pineda via KO (punches), 1:11 of Round One
Anton Kuivanen def. Mitch Clarke via split decision

@SethFalvo

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Edith Christ- July 25, 2012 at 8:05 pm
If was there; I saw it. And tried very hard to enjoy it. I feel bad for Barao that the crowd was pretty much fed up by the time he stepped into the ring. Riddle was awesome. Ebersole could hardly get up from a squat. And Jordan can def touch his toes.
Mr_Misanthropy- July 23, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Hey Boss! Da Plane da plane!
smellypiratehooker- July 23, 2012 at 11:15 am
Georges better tuck that lip in or he'll get it caught on a trip wire.
Ballkick- July 23, 2012 at 10:37 am
Haven't posted anything here for quite a while, but I do live in Calgary and must admit that this was quite possibly the worst UFC I have ever weaseled my way into watching for free at a buddies house.
By no means did I come away from this with all my money in my pocket, I bet a very drunk, seemingly uneducated MMA fan 20 bucks Lombard would handily walk away with this. Fuck me, who was that guy? Did you just think a few windmill punches was gonna fly in the UFC? You stood there like a stunned cunt and let your big chance slip away,......along with my 20 bucks, fucker.
I am a big fan of Nick Ring and have winced in pain every time I see him in the UFC. I can honestly say I thought Nick won the first quite possibly the second but the third was embarrassing. I was glad I wasn't a judge, cause even tho he won two he lost that fight in the third decisively. I would have given it to McGee just cause.
Anyway shitty card, but may work out to my benefit, all the wannabe MMA fighters in town will probably attend this show and walk out thinking,.....fuck I could do better than that! ..........and hopefully come to my gym and sign up for class.
Later CP.



P. S. Dranokills,....... Fuck you man, your still CP's biggest twat.....take care.
Gobbleston- July 23, 2012 at 9:59 am
Harris + Lombard = This thing

http://www.regrettablesincerity.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/moreau.jpg
koushikahmed14- July 23, 2012 at 8:35 am
Have you seen this website http://ho.io/qc5a to revealed exclusive Wrestling girls videos?
fatbellyfrank- July 23, 2012 at 5:27 am
@ Mr Mis & Rear Naked, I would suggest Paul harris and Court Mcgee would produce Fidel.
lombards nuggetty build and Palhares male model looks would more likely produce someone like Tattoo from fantasy island.......Da plane, da plane
fatbellyfrank- July 23, 2012 at 5:21 am
Fairly poor PPV, prelims were the highlight, Kongo v Jordan was ordinary, if thats the best kongo's got he ain't going anywhere except gatekeeper, at least he got smashed in the nuts by the karma wheel! Ebersole looked like he was on another planet or trying to be Steven segal, just didn't get in and do the biz this time.
Lombard, fucken Lombard, was that for real?? I've seen Glaciers move quicker than he did, and what happened to the tassie devil style assault we're used to from Bellator?Chocolate Al looked more aggresive on Dancin with the fucken stars, contender? more like fucken prelim card at this stage.
UFCFightBlogger- July 22, 2012 at 11:45 pm
With Lombard sucking and Boetsch injured, if Silva wants to fight in Rio later this year, Weidman will probably get the title shot. But we'll see what White has to say in a few days. Hopefully Silva will fight this year, he fights so little as it is.

Check out this article about the middleweight division http://www.ufcfightblogger.com/news/dana-white-delays-middleweight-title-future-michael-bisping-chris-weidman-front-runners/
KarmaAteMyCat- July 22, 2012 at 7:12 pm
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHOOOOOOOOOO WHOOOOOOOO, First of all. Hector was the aggressor and took Boetsch down in round one and three, He hurt him in rounds 2 and three and on more then several occasions had him back peddling like a champ.
-

Also your user names Wack and if I'm UFC 149 then you sir are UFC 33 :) GOOD DAY!
drainplugofideas- July 24, 2012 at 10:36 am
Karma I can't fucking understand you when you write. Go away.
drainplugofideas- July 22, 2012 at 5:16 pm
From now on when something is a big fat disappointment we at cp should say it is the ufc 149 of whatever that is.

For instance Karma is the ufc 149 of semi-pro fighters.
rngeorgeh- July 22, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Loved it when Goldie stated that Kongo was undefeated in 4 of his last 5 fights!!!
guelph gym- July 22, 2012 at 4:37 pm
the guys who get paid the big bucks dont show and the struggling fighters again prove their worth and more
Mr_Misanthropy- July 22, 2012 at 2:53 pm
@ ReerShpoon

Fidel Castro.
RearNakedSpoon- July 22, 2012 at 2:15 pm
The most entertaining part of the main card to me, was when I wondered what the love child of Lombard and Paul Harris would be like.
Mr_Misanthropy- July 22, 2012 at 1:40 pm
Mcgee and Ring arguably got robbed for FOTN. Mcgee arguably got robbed on the decision. And if Lombard ever stood in front of Silva like that he'd get knocked straight back to Bellator,The undercard was pretty sweet though.
Shifty-Eyed Dog- July 22, 2012 at 12:50 pm
You can't blame Boetsch. At least he was TRYING to fight. Lombard stood flat-footed and did virtually nothing the entire fight. Hard to fight a guy who won't engage.
guelph gym- July 22, 2012 at 4:32 pm
are you high lombard came forward and boetsch ran ,boetsch was the only one hurt in the fight i think lombard should of been more aggressive if i were dana i wouldnt pay either fighter
Savageleto- July 22, 2012 at 11:35 am
The fight calling last night was atrocious as well...

Rogan and Goldie were total rubbish in just about every way.
JayJitsu310- July 22, 2012 at 11:19 am
Worst UFC event I have ever seen, and Barao is going to murder Cruz
danomite- July 22, 2012 at 10:44 am
very creative. i liked it. I thought the Faber fight wasn't so bad, but Barao seemed to coast in the final two rounds. It was hard to tell though, because last night was the first time I've watched UFC at a bar in years and there was a 50 year old hyena sitting near me who wouldn't stop yelling the whole time.
NomadRip- July 23, 2012 at 6:01 am
If the comment section was any indication, I'm guessing you were sitting near a mirror.
Dirt- July 22, 2012 at 10:35 am
Guess I'm glad I could only watch the Prelims!
Jimmo!!!!
FilmDrunk- July 22, 2012 at 10:35 am
Best prelims I've seen in a long time, and probably the worst main card I've ever seen. Can we fire Cheick Kongo yet? He either loses, or wins the ugliest, most boring fights you've ever seen. Which makes him not exciting to watch and not a contender. Why keep him around? He's perfect for a fight on HD Net.
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