MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

UFC 170: Rousey vs. McMann Results — Rousey and Cormier Both Win by First-Round TKO, MacDonald Takes Decision Over Maia


(Judo and wrestling = sports. Curling and ice dancing = not sports. Just wanted to clear that up. / Photo via the UFC 170 weigh-ins gallery on CombatLifestyle.com)

UFC 170: Rousey vs. McMann is underway in Las Vegas, and if you’re a fan of closely-matched MMA competition…well, you definitely came to the wrong place tonight. Ronda Rousey is over a 4-1 favorite against challenger Sara McMann, and the betting line in Daniel Cormier‘s light-heavyweight debut against late replacement Patrick Cummins can best be described with an Al Bundy GIF. Then again, Rory MacDonald vs. Demian Maia seems like a competitive welterweight scrap, even if it’s not exactly what you’d call a barnburner.

Round-by-round results from the UFC 170 main card will be after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and shoot us your own thoughts in the comments section.

Preliminary Card Results
- Alexis Davis def. Jessica Eye via split-decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29)
- Raphael Assuncao def. Pedro Munhoz via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3)
- Aljamain Sterling def. Cody Gibson via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
- Zach Makovsky def. Josh Sampo via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 29-28)
- Erik Koch def. Rafaello Oliveira via TKO, 1:24 of round 1
- Ernest Chavez def. Yosdenis Cedeno via split-decision (29-28, 28-29, 30-27)

Robert Whittaker vs. Stephen Thompson

Naturally, Stephen “Wonderboy” Thompson comes out to “Wonderboy” by Tenacious D. Whittaker shows love to Australia by walking out to AC/DC’s “Hells Bells.”

Round 1: Thompson opens with a side kick. Whittaker sticks the jab. Whittaker throws a high kick. Thompson marches forward with punches, then lands a leg kick. Body kick then a leg kick from Thompson. He tries an outside axe kick that scores him style points if nothing else. Great head movement and counters from Thompson. Truly, he is the white Machida. A hook kick from Thompson lands. Whittaker pops the jab. Thompson drops Whittaker with a dead-on right straight, then swarms as Whittaker tries to get to his feet. Thompson clinches, fires in some knees, and clubs Whittaker down to the mat again. Thompson with a frenzy of ground and pound until Mario Yamasaki calls a stop to it. Impressive, violent finish from Wonderboy. Stephen Thompson def. Robert Whittaker via TKO, 3:43 of round 1.

Mike Pyle vs. TJ Waldburger

And now Waldburger is coming out to “TNT” by AC/DC. What the hell. He’s not even Australian. And Mike Pyle is rocking the mullet tonight. Waldburger is already dead.

Round 1: Waldburger lands first with a leg kick. Pyle lands a kick but almost eats a big overhand left in return. Pyle fires a pair of leg kicks. They trade leg kicks. Pyle dashed forward with punches. Pyle grabs a clinch and Waldburger pushes him against the fence. Pyle escapes with ease. Waldburger slips while throwing a kick and Pyle chases him when he gets up but can’t capitalize. Waldburger lands a right, then a left, then a leg kick. Pyle tries a front kick to the body, Waldburger grabs him, Pyle sweeps him to the mat and gets on top. Then, Pyle transitions into side control. Very slick work by Pyle tonight. But then Waldburger powers up to his feet and escapes. They clinch against the fence. Knees to the body then to the head from Pyle. Waldburger throws a pair of knees to Pyle’s leg as the round expires. 10-9 Pyle.

Round 2: Uh…I think my dog just erased everything I wrote for this round when he ran across my laptop. WTF. Short version: It was a much closer frame…Waldburger may have had a slight edge in the striking total, but Pyle had some good grappling moments and bloodied Waldburger’s face with knees.

Round 3: Hard right hand from Pyle and he smells blood. They clinch, Pyle shoulder-checks im in the face then lands a hard left hook. And then a spinning back elbow. Pyle is on fire. He lands two nasty elbows in the clinch then fires punches until Waldburger stumbles to the mat. Pyle almost gets a guillotine but Waldburger pulls out. Pyle bears the ever-loving fuck out of Waldburger with punches and elbows from the top. Joe Rogan asks Herb Dean why he’s not stopping the fight. This beating…it just keeps going. Okay, now Herb stopped the fight. Mike Pyle def. TJ Waldburger via TKO, 4:03 of round 3.

Rory MacDonald vs. Demian Maia

Round 1: They meet in the center of the cage and trade haymakers. Demian Maia shoots once, MacDonald defends. He tries it again and single-legs MacDonald to the mat. Maia trying to pass guard. He throws down an elbow. And boom, Maia scores mount. Maia softening MacDonald up with punches to the head and body. MacDonald tries to shrimp out and almost does it. Maia in half-guard now. MacDonald uses double-butterfly guard, trying to prevent the mount again. MacDonald kicks him off and gets up. Maia shoots and Rory defends. The two fighters start brawling and Maia lands the harder shots. MacDonald is bloodied. The round ends, and it’s an easy 10-9 for Maia.

Round 2: Maia landing some serious power punches, but MacDonald comes back with a series of head kicks that have Maia hurt. Maia shoots and fails. McDonald with a hard body kick and Maia shoots in desperation. MacDonald is having a lot of success with his kicks right now, which are landing at all levels. MacDonald lands a head kick as Maia is shooting in. MacDonald has Maia rocked with punches and kicks. MacDonald using his range really well, landing long jabs and straights. Overhand left from Maia, kicks to the body and leg from MacDonald. MacDonald with a kick to the body, a kick to the head. He tries a superman punch. MacDonald measure up Maia and stings him with a cross. He lands another body kick as the round ends. That round was all MacDonald, 10-9. We’re even heading into round 3, but Rory has the momentum.

Round 3: MacDonald with more long punches. Maia lands a left straight. MacDonald with more kicks to the body and head. MacDonald with another clean right hand. Maia shoots, unsuccessfully once again. MacDonald punches him in the face for it. MacDonald thoroughly outboxing Maia. Maia shoots for a single. Then he grabs both legs and slams MacDonald to the mat. Maia on top, MacDonald pushes him off and scrambles away. MacDonald fends off another takedown attempt. And another. MacDonald with a body punch before stuffing another takedown. MacDonald with a front kick to the body. MacDonald stuffs a takedown and makes Maia pay, landing a nice uppercut. MacDonald with jabs and another big uppercut. And a right straight. MacDonald stuffs one last takedown before the bell. Pretty clear 10-9 for Rory as far as I’m concerned. After a couple of back-to-back stinkers, that was a fantastic performance from Rory MacDonald. Hey look, all the judges got it right! Rory MacDonald def. Demian Maia via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3). “The animal is back,” MacDonald says. “I’m ready to kick some ass, I’m ready to kill…I want that belt.”

Ladies and gentlemen, we have now entered the “squash match” portion of the evening…

Daniel Cormier vs. Patrick Cummins

Round 1: Cormier takes the center of the cage. Cummins lands a sharp leg kick. He shoots, Cormier defends. Cummins with a nice body kick. Cormier lands a hard uppercut. Some hockey-fighting from the clinch. Cummins literally turns his back and runs away. Cormier follows him and throws bombs. An uppercut from Cormier glances off the side of Cummins’s head, and Cummins hits the mat. Cormier starts throwing down bombs. Cummins rolls and turtles. More big, nasty shots from Cormier and it’s all over. Cummins tries to get to his feet. He looks disappointed with the stoppage, but come on bro, you were gonna get killed out there. Daniel Cormier def. Patrick Cummins via TKO, 1:19 of round 1.

Ronda Rousey vs. Sara McMann

Round 1: Rousey storms to the center of the Octagon, and McMann lands multiple punches to Ronda’s dome as she’s coming in. They clinch against the fence and Rousey lands a hard knee to the body and a sharp elbow. They trade knees. Rousey lands another knee to the liver and McMann drops to the mat and covers up. Herb Dean steps in…just as McMann grabs a leg and tries to recover. The crowd boos the stoppage as premature. But what are you gonna do, McMann dropped like a corpse. Ronda Rousey def. Sara McMann via TKO, 1:06 of round  1. So that’s what it looks like to see Ronda win by something other than an armbar…interesting.

Well damn, the main card is over in two hours, and it doesn’t look like they’re going to replay any of the prelims. Are Goldberg and Rogan going to have to kill time for a full hour? I want no part of this. Good night, all.

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