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UFC 81 Bonuses: Men Predict, and God Laughs

We like to think that the only losers in life are the people who never try. So basically, we still feel like we’re big winners despite the fact that nearly everything we claimed in our reported last night:

We said: They’d be $40,000 apiece.
What really happened: They were a record-setting $60,000 apiece. Maybe that was done to shut up all the critics who questioned the UFC’s profitability after UFC 80′s weak bonuses were doled out. Maybe the bonus amounts are determined based on geographical proximity to Las Vegas. Who freakin’ knows.

Knockout of the Night
We said: Terry Martin, or possibly Kyle Bradley.
What really happened: Kyle Bradley got annihilated in just 33 seconds by a demonically possessed Chris Lytle, who earned the K.O. bonus; Lytle’s new kamikaze style produced one of the most thrilling moments of the night, and we hope to see more of it in the future. As for Terry Martin, he lost a unanimous decision to Marvin Eastman in “Breaking Point”‘s only untelevised match. We predicted the fight would be wild and exciting; it was not.

Submission of the Night
We said: Ricardo Almeida
What really happened: Almeida did indeed submit Rob Yundt (finally, we catch a break), but Frank Mir‘s leglock of Brock Lesnar was far more dramatic, and Mir picked up the 60 grand. The bonus brought Mir’s payday to a total of $140,000 when added to his $40k to-show purse and $40k win bonus.

Fight of the Night
We said: Gleison Tibau vs. Tyson Griffin, or possibly Lesnar vs. Mir.
What really happened: Three-round war? More like three-round snore. (See what we did there?) Tyson Griffin showcased his inability to finish a fight during his unanimous decision victory over Tibau, and the crowd let him know that they were not entertained. We thought Tim Sylvia and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira would hug for five rounds, but Minotauro’s incredible comeback victory in the third was enough to score both men the $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus. Since his guaranteed fight payout is $100,000, Tim Sylvia took home $160,000 after UFC 81, edging out Frank Mir by 20 large — for losing. See, we told you these figures never make sense…

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robnashville- February 3, 2008 at 1:56 am
I'm sick of Joe Silva..
Kimbo's Lice- February 2, 2008 at 8:04 pm
When asked about the bonus-amount fluctuations, Keita Nakamura replied "fluc you Amellicans too."