MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

UFC 83: Serra vs. St. Pierre 2 — ‘We, Are, LIVE!!!’

As Ferrall might say, this “beautiful matchup of warriors and freaks ready to dance” is about to pop off, so pour yourself some iced tea or red wine and settle in. Click the “MORE” link and refresh the page every few minutes for round-by-round updates. Montreal residents, let’s get ready to riot!

10:00: The familiar “Herpes Gladiatorum” intro sequence brings us to yet another action-packed UFC pay-per-view broadcast. Welcome.

10:04: Kenny Florian sounds like a natural in the booth. Less screamy than Rogan.

10:08: TUF 6 winner Mac Danzig and Mark Bocek are up first in a lightweight match. Mac lets out a bettle cry stepping into the cage. Bocek looks like a sickly ginger, but he holds a five-inch reach advantage.

10:14: “Madames en (?) Monsieurs, BONE-SWAAAAHHHH!!!” Who knew Bruce Buffer was so cultured?

10:15: Round 1. Some sparring to open the round. Mac sticks Bocek and drives him against the cage, but Bocek fires back. Bocek working for a single-leg against the cage and eventually gets it. Bocek lays some leather in Mac’s guard. Mac tries for an arm-triangle but loses it and Bocek punishes him for it. Mac is complaining about something. Bocek takes Mac’s back, but Mac slips it and Bocek is back in Danzig’s guard. Mac gets up and Bocek works for another takedown. Mac reverses him, gets in Bocek’s guard and rains down some damage of his own. And the horn.

10:21: Round 2. Mac lands a jab and leg kick. And ROCKS Bocek with a knee to the head. Mac gets on top and tries to finish, but Bocek clears the cobwebs. Bocek gets up and eats a knee to the face. Danzig back on top of Bocek, and secures the mount. But Bocek gives up his back. Bocek rolls again and takes an elbow to his face. Mac takes Bocek’s back, but loses it and they’re back on their feet. Bocek peppers Mac with punches and gets a takedown. Mac winds up in the better position on the ground and lands some punches from a top/side position. More abuse from the top. The horn sounds and Mac’s corner is telling him “10-8 round.” Bocek looks busted.

10:28: Round 3. Mac gets the better of an early striking exchange, but Bocek goes into his punch combo/takedown routine again. Bocek gets in Danzig’s guard. Mac works for a gogplata, with elbows to the top of Bocek’s head, but Bocek frees himself. They’re back on their feet and Mac nails him with another big knee and some punches. BIG punch to Bocek, and his face explodes. Yves stops the action to get the cut checked. It’s back on, and Mac works some punches. Damage might decide this fight for the juddes, and Bocek looks awful. Mac takes Bocek down and gets the mount with 90 seconds remaining. He takes Bocek’s back and sinks in the rear-naked choke. It’s OVA!

10:33: Mac Danzig gets his hand raised as Mark Bocek cries blood. Man that’s gross.

10:35: Mac thanks everyone involved in the UFC. He says “thank you for supporting me Canada,” and gets booed pretty hard. Then he tells them his girlfriend is Canadian, and they start to come around. And Mandy Moore is in the building!

10:39: Matt Serra looks a bit nervous in his locker room.

10:40: Michael Bisping/Charles McCarthy is next. McCarthy says Bisping is the “biggest name, worst fighter ever.” Bisping points out the irony of McCarthy’s claim that all his opponents are hand-picked for him.

10:42: How badass would it be if one of the fighters came out to Rush’s “Spirit of the Radio”?

10:45: McCarthy is booed, Bisping is cheered.

10:47: Round 1. McCarthy whiffs on a couple overhand rights. Bisping grabs the thai clinch and throws some knees. McCarthy gets out of it and sticks his tongue out at Bisping. Another knee and an uppercut. McCarthy hasn’t done anything noteworthy yet. Another thai clinch from Bisping, but McCarthy takes the Count down. McCarthy is in half-guard, then flips high onto Bisping’s back, looking for an armbar. Bisping’s arm is in serious trouble. Bisping pops out and gets to his feet, and nails McCarthy with two more knees. Bisping has him in trouble against the fence, kneeing the shit out of him. McCarthy goes down and Bisping mobs him, but is saved by the bell. Or is he?! McCarthy can’t get to his feet and the ref stops it. Chainsaw is holding his arm, in pain. In looks like one of Bisping’s knees broke his forearm while he was trying to defend.

10:54: Bisping scores the TKO victory, and him and McCarthy are all hugs. Bisping claims that he didn’t cut weight at all — no sauna, no sweatsuit, nothin’. Strange…

10:58: Kalib Starnes and Nate Quarry are next. I’m gonna go grab a smoke, let me know what happens.

11:02: Starnes comes out to “Bittersweet Symphony.” A few thousand Canadians shout “faaaaaag!”

11:05: Round 1. Quarry with the hard leg-kick. He pushes the pace, literally running after Starnes at one point. Quarry throwing some nasty looking punches, but none hit the mark. And there are the boos. Starnes clinches, but Quarry breaks out and throws a couple more haymakers. Quarry chasing Starnes again and lands a solid knee. Kne-Flo: “Not sure what Starnes strategy is here.” Very true; he ain’t doin’ dick. Another leg kick from Quarry, and a nice punch combo. The horn blows. Dullsville, really; do we really need to have a second round?

11:11: Round 2. Nothing happening worth mentioning. The crowd voices their displeasure. The fight looks more like a gym sparring session. Starnes lacks anything resembling a killer instinct. Two more leg kicks from Quarry. And two more. Quarry tries another, but Starnes catches it and takes Quarry down, but Quarry pops up, and it’s back to dull. The crowd is chanting “booooring! booooring!” And the second round, thankfully, comes to an end.

11:17: Round 3. The guys try to ramp up the energy a bit. Still looks like a sparring session between friends. Quarry continues to punish Starnes’s leg periodically. Starnes is fighting like a man with food poisoning. Big knee from Quarry. In this time of belt-tightening, Starnes performance may have just cost him his UFC contract. A big leg kick that hurts Starnes bad. Quarry high-steps after Starnes to get a laugh from the crowd, then does this weird punch-puppet routine. The horn sounds.

11:23: Starnes is pissed. “Fuck you! Why aren’t you fighting, faggot?” Big boos from the crowd every time Starnes is on the big screen, and cheers for our new comic hero, Nate Quarry. Unanimous decision for Quarry. One judge scored it 30-24!

11:34: Hey, sorry…just noticed that the round 1 writeup for Starnes/Quarry wasn’t showing up. It’s back now. And our lives can go on. Lutter and Franklin are up next. Lutter comes out to Nickelback. Rush would’ve been sooooo much better.

11:35: Wait a minute, is George St. Pierre’s nickname a reference to the band?

11:36: A crowd-member nearly drags Rich Franklin into the floor seats. Life-partner Jorge Gurgel is, as always, in his corner.

11:40: Round 1. Steve Mazzagatti’s lack of a mustache gets scattered boos from the crowd. Big punch from Franklin and Lutter goes for the single leg, pushing Franklin against the cage. Lutter takes Franklin down and takes his back. Lutter works into half guard, looking for the mount. And he gets it, with two minutes left in the round. Big punches, and Lutter snatches up a deep armbar. Miraculously, Franklin rolls out of it and gets to his feet. That was as close as it gets. Lutter goes for another takedown, but Franklin sprawls nicely and drops some bombs. The round ends, and Franklin is lucky to be out of it.

11:46: Round 2. Lutter gets tagged with a couple shots and instinctively shoots. He misses and Franklin lets him up. Nice head kick from Franklin rocks Lutter and Franklin pounces, but Lutter snatches his leg. After a scary moment, Franklin escapes the leglock. Franklin lands some Spider-esque knees from the clinch. Lutter is done. Some dirty boxing, and Lutter’s legs give out again. Lutter tries the leglock again, and Franklin slips it. Lutter is too tired to get up. When he does, finally, Franklin slices him up with punches, and Lutter goes down again. Mazzagatti stops the brutality. TKO win for Ace.

11:51: Rich to Ken-Flo: “Hey there good-lookin’.” Franklin says that Lutter is known for his lack of conditioning and is booed. But then he gives props to the Canadians, and they lighten right up. Flo: “I think they thought you were Jim Carrey.”

11:55: Only 54% of UFC.com voters think GSP will win. Goldberg: “Sold out Bell Centre in Montreahh, KA-beck Canada.” Impeccable pronunication, Mike.

12:02: Serra and St. Pierre are next. St. Pierre comes out to some of that French rap music that the Francophone kids are into. The rabid fans grab at his red karate gi. Surprisingly, no riots yet.

12:06: St. Pierre takes a mouthful of Evian and does his usual spit-take. Serra emerges to a rap song that incorporates the Rocky theme, and deafening boos. So I guess they really don’t like this guy?

12:08: As Serra’s trunks say, “Buy Guns / Sell Guns.” God Bless America.

12:12: GSP looks fucking intense. Round 1. GSP takes Serra down immediately and throws some shots from half-guard. Serra tries to create some distance, but GSP is on him like a blanket. GSP in Serra’s full guard now. Big shots from the top, and Serra’s right eye looks reddened. GSP lands an elbow; he’s completely controlling Serra’s body. GSP takes side-control, and Serra rolls, giving up his back. Serra momentarily gets to his feet but is dragged back down. GSP drops punches to the side of Serra’s head, but Serra gets up and lands a jab. Superman punch from GSP, then a takedown into side control. The round ends, and it was all GSP. Serra looks discouraged.

12:19: Serra has an impressive mouse under his eye, while GSP looks unscathed. Round 2. Serra throws a low kick and is taken down. Serra tries to get to his feet against the cage but is pulled down. Serra finally escapes. He throws a lazy head kick and GSP responds with a spinning back kick. Serra looks tired and eats some hard jabs. GSP takes Serra down and works some elbows in half-guard. Serra flips into full guard. Big punch from GSP. Serra looks for an armbar and fails. GSP slugs Serra’s ear and drops some knees into his ribs. GSP in half-guard, then side control, and Serra gives up his back. GSP punishing Sera’s body with knees. Brutal. Serra stops defending himself, and the ref stops it. GSP takes his belt back.

12:25: It’s a lovefest afterward, and Serra picks GSP up and carries him across the ring. Much respect. The official time: 4:45 of the 2nd round. Who called it closest?

12:27: St. Pierre talks some French to the crowd, who’s lovin’ it. GSP offers to settle the rubber match with Matt Serra in New York. He also says he’ll be drinking with Serra after the fight. Serra’s face is a mess. “I knew I’d win you guys over,” he says.

12:34: Jonathan Goulet vs. Hinoyoshi Hironaka is up. Hironaka has the weirdest entrance music I’ve ever heard. It’s like coked-out Japanese casino disco.

12:40: Round 1. The crowd chants “Goulet!” Goulet lands two knees to HH’s face in the clinch. Goulet sticks HH with some punches. HH whiffs a takedown attempt and scoots away before he’s punished for it. Nasty leg kick from Goulet.Goulet stuffs a takedown and sends a knee into HH’s grill. Goulet gets rocked with a punch and HH gets on top, trying to finish it. HH rains down blows from half-guard. HH triess to get the mount, and savages Goulet with ground-and-pound. Goulet is saved by the bell.

12:46: Round 2. Goulet throws the Superman elbow, but HH dodges. HH rocks Goulet again, but Goulet stays upright. Body kick from Goulet. Superman punch from Goulet doesn’t land cleanly. Huge right hand from Goulet sends HH to the mat. HH gets up but Goulet mobs him with punches and knees, and knocks HH out for good with another right hand. Score another one for the Canucks.

12:51: Goulet claims that wherever he fights, “it’ll be the same damn bullshit.” But hearing the Montreal crowd gave him the power to keep fighting.

12:52: Damian Maia got the submission of the night over Ed Herman with a nasty-looking arm-triangle + punches from the mount. Pretty much the most dominant position imaginable; that’s like the royal straight flush of ass-kicking.

12:55: And we’re signing off. Overall, not one of the greatest cards of the year, but you’ll be seeing the end of the Quarry/Starnes fight as comic relief in highlight reels for years to come. Later on…

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knightrida- April 20, 2008 at 4:36 pm
(that was me accidentally posting under "Fergie". I started typing in the wrong line) Anyway, I agree to disagree. I can see where you're coming from with the Rogan thing, but I think he, as would Goldberg, would fall under the commentator classification. I didn't see Cote commentating, but would that just be for this one night, or is he going to keep doing it? I think UFC is giving Ken Flo waaay to much, too early on in his career. IMO he has yet to prove himself as even a top contender. Wins against Din Thomas and Joe Blowzon just don't do it for me.
Blackleg- April 20, 2008 at 11:12 am
I can't stand Florian... but he was much better than Rogan.
Turd Ferguson- April 20, 2008 at 3:05 am
Fergie,

You question Ken Flo commentating, but you didn't question Patrick Cote commentating for the Canadian commentary? Not sure if you saw that, but I did.

On another note, who in the fuck is joe rogan to be commentating on MMA fights? He might train MMA but the dude as far as I know has never competed in a sanctioned MMA fight... I'd rather listen to a real MMA fighter than only a person who spars and trains, but never fights.

Just IMO.
Fergie- April 19, 2008 at 11:45 pm
Fergie:

Ken Flo WILL be a champion??? Does that give him enough credibility to do commentating? I wasn't able to even listen cause I was at a bar, it's the principle of it that I don't agree with. Bas, Couture... those guys have earned their stripes. Ken Flo's still young in the game and shouldn't be out there yet. I'm not saying this cause I don't think he has skills, cause I think he does. But you should have to be a legend, retired, or a pro commentator to hold the mic during a fight.

As for the Danzig comment, I was being rhetorical.
Turd Ferguson- April 19, 2008 at 6:54 pm
knightrida,

Ken Flo will be a champion one day. The dude has got some skills and If he doesn't win a belt in the UFC he certainly will somewhere else.

And on Danzig... Uh, why not finish a fight when the opponent gives you his back? They are turning away from a beating, why not just pussy them out and make them tap.
knightrida- April 19, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Sad, kind-of-not-really, to see two careers end last night (Lutter and Serra). Maybe Lutter shouldn't have given the treadmill away in his divorce.

I found a couple pictures of Goldberg hanging out with Ken Flo and his posse on Ken Flo's Myspace. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say Goldberg said a few words to the right people to get his young buddy an MC gig. I think you should have to be a champion at least ONCE before you get some tv time. He's in there intverviewing fighters that would slaughter him. What gives him the right???

Does Mac Danzig have any other submissions besides a RNC??? Isn't that like the 4th straight we've seen from him?
mmmiles- April 19, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I don't know about the other canucks here, but Kalib Starnes was a fucking embarassment. You will never see him in the UFC again, you can be sure of that - even if he fights it'll be on the undercard.

Amazing arm bar escape from Franklin. I don't know if he'll ever match up to Silva but what a solid competitor Franklin is. GSP Serra, both guys are class acts - man I wish I could have been in Montreal for that (Toronto isn't going to have a UFC here for years I imagine), must have been off the hook that night.

Haven't seen an arena that packed for a long time, people were on their feet to the rafters.
Jeff- April 19, 2008 at 10:00 am
I called in 4:12 in the 2nd round by submission.
The Bloc- April 19, 2008 at 9:27 am
Hell yeah! awesome fights. Mac danzig kicked ass...glad to see franklin back to his game, and GSP....what can i say...pure domination.
grant- April 19, 2008 at 7:57 am
haha i thought franklin looked a lot like jim carey the first time i saw him. and the second. and after that too.


i would like to see GSP pack on some weight, get a bit more experience, and fight silva. if he prepared enough... it would at least be savage to watch? is this completely unfeasable?
Turd Ferguson- April 19, 2008 at 6:44 am
Was it just me or was it nice not to hear Joe Rogan's voice the entire night? It was a nice break...

but DAMN K. Florian for saying "you went to war" or "going to war" 2X I hate that shit!!

It's not a war, its a fight.

The WAR is over in Iraq.
jasono- April 19, 2008 at 6:32 am
Also, anyone else notice how tiny Goldberg's microphone hand is? Does he even have arms? Is there some boy holding the mic for him? Seriously! Look next time.
jasono- April 19, 2008 at 6:30 am
Florian shouldn't be making comments about R. Franklin looking like Jim Carey when he looked like Ben Stiller in Rogan's shirt.
joe schmo from the joe schmo show- April 19, 2008 at 6:23 am
did they show the ed herman fight on PPV¿
lolwut- April 19, 2008 at 5:44 am
damn franklin getting out of that armbar was crazy, o yeah and im also glad i left surrey! boooo kalib starnesssssssss booooooooooooOOOOO, goooo nate quaryy! fuck thats my friends favourite fighter too cant wait to rag on him lolol
Turd Ferguson- April 19, 2008 at 5:43 am
Well just got back from watching and it was a semi decent pay-per-view.

My comments on the fights:

Danzig/Bocek - Good fight, the purpleness under Bocek's eye was nasty looking. I voted for Danzig to win this fight.

McCarthy/Bisping - I wasn't too sure who would pull it off, because I had not seen McCarthy fight in awhile so I wasn't sure if he had improved. After seeing some knees from Bisping, I knew the fight would end in his favor.

Quarry/Starnes - I had my money (which i didnt bet) on Quarry. This was a boring fight to say the least. I would though give this fight the most entertaining fight of the night because of Quarry, he had me rolling in my chair.

Franklin/Lutter - Now I remember why I don't like watching travis lutter fight. All he did was try and take "Ace" down and lay and pray for awhile. The arm bar he had on franklin made me think it was over until Rich dislocated his arm to get out of it.. Lutter as usual gets winded and stands there and lets you hit him. I had my money on Rich.

Now the fight of the night... Dun Dun Dun.

GSP/Serra - I chose GSP based on GSP's performance against how he man handled Hughes in his last fight. GSP, when he looses, beats the hell out of the guy in a rematch. He took it to the ground and totally dominated Serra. I knew this would happen and I dont feel bad for those turds who bet on Serra. And Serra did look chubby for 170 as I read on here earlier. Hmm, i'd kill to be 170, glad im not 5'6 though.

The Submission of the night was NASTY, Ed Herman was totally out like a like a gay man in a dress shop. Im sure he will wake up with a nice headache.

Overall I give this PPV a 7.5 out of 10. I didnt feel like i totally wasted 9 bucks.
Bundy- April 19, 2008 at 5:28 am
Wow! That was impressive! Talk about complete and utter domination!
TitoG- April 19, 2008 at 4:49 am
Hey Fightfan WORD!!!!!!!
fightfan- April 19, 2008 at 4:33 am
Damn was GSP fucking awesome just to watch. He put a beating on Serra and made it look so simple. You all noticed, Serra didnt tap, bu the DID NOT question that stoppage. He wanted out of that fight so bad. He knew after the first round there was NO way in hell he is winning. 10-8 first round and probably 10-9 2nd.

ANd Serra was gassed I wisj GSP would of let it go to a third. Serra would of gotten fucked up bad. GSP would of just picked him apart with strikes again and again and make his face look even worse.

All class is GSP. If he continues to fight like he has been, minus the one Serra fight, GSP can easily be doing the same thing to the WW divison as Silva is doing to the MW.

And Fitch has no freakin chance. Damn did Georges look good in that fight.
TitoG- April 19, 2008 at 4:20 am
VIVA LA RAZA!!!!! Right aryan?
TitoG- April 19, 2008 at 4:18 am
I mean BIAAAATTTCCCHHHEEESSS!!!!
TitoG- April 19, 2008 at 4:18 am
GSP BIAAATTTHHHESSS!!! Total domination. Knees to the body when your opponent is on the ground is overlooked. Should be used more. Nice ass whopping by GSP!!!!
TitoG- April 19, 2008 at 4:14 am
Aryan damn your funny for that I say POUND THAT BITCH FOR THE ARYAN NATION
Aryan- April 19, 2008 at 4:04 am
big size difference though
Aryan- April 19, 2008 at 4:03 am
jesus christ gsp should be locked up for being that dangerous.. poor matty he's face looks like my girls vagiiin after i'm done pounding it
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