(Bisping and Day: The love that dare not speak its name. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

The UFC is having an event in London right now, so I guess we pretty much have to cover it, huh. Anyway, spoiler alert: Round-by-round results from the live broadcast are after the jump. So raise a pint with us — we’re drinking on UK time today — and holla back in the comments.

PRELIMINARY FIGHT RESULTS
Hardonk def. Sanchez via TKO, 4:15 of round 2
Taylor def. Liaudin via decision
Cane def. Lambert via TKO, 2:07 of round 1
Burns def. Carneiro via submission (triangle choke), 2:53 of round 2
Wiman def. Tavares via KO, 1:57 of round 2
Kampmann def. Rivera via submission (guillotine choke), 2:44 of round 1
Ipecac bet score to this point: 10-3 in favor of Fightlinker. I am fucked.

Fabricio Werdum vs. Brandon Vera
Round 1: Vera starts with a hard leg kick. He clinches with Werdum and pushes him against the cage, but Werdum reverses. Dirty boxing in the clinch, and they separate. Hard punches from Werdum. Werdum takes Vera down and takes half-guard. He works for the mount but gets kicked off and lands in Vera’s guard. Vera kicks off and gets to his feet. Werdum falls after a punch but Vera lets him up. Vera lands a hard punch and Werdum looks rocked. After some clinching, Werdum gets a slick takedown and gets into half-guard again, then mount. Big shots from above from Werdum. He punches until the ref stops it. First round TKO for Werdum, and Vera is immediately protesting it. The fight’s officially called at 4:40 seconds of round 1, and the crowd hates it. Brandon Vera: “I’m not gonna quit, are you fucking kidding me? That’s not in me, fuck that!”

Nate Marquardt vs. Thales Leites
Leites comes out to Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds.” That might get me pumped up to wake up at noon and smoke weed. Fighting, not so much. Marquardt comes out to “Carmina Fortuna O Fortuna.” That’s a little more like it.
Round 1: Leites almost lands a superman punch early. Marquardt pushes forward with punches, and Leites hits him back. Leites nails Marquardt with a huge punch, knocking him to the ground, then gets the mount. Marquardt in big trouble; he grabs Leites’s body to slow the situation. Leites moves to side-control, and Marquardt rolls out and gets up. Leites lands a jab. Marqaurdt moves forward again with punches, then ties up Leites against the cage. Now Marquardt rocks Leites with punches. Inside leg kick by Marquardt to end the round. Very tough to score, though Leites might have the edge.

Round 2: Great right hand from Marquardt. Leites pushes Marquardt against the cage, but Marquardt reverses. Another solid punch from Marquardt and then a big takedown. But Marquardt lays a huge illegal knee to Leites’s head on the ground and the action is stopped. The doctor is called in, but Leites says he’s fine to continue. Herb Dean deducts a point from Marquardt. Marquardt takes Leites down and starts doing damage from above. Leites is bleeding heavily from his nose. Marquardt working his elbows, but Leites kicks him off. Marquardt dives back on with a punch. Huge punches from Marquardt, and Leites almost grabs an arm. The guys are stood up. Leites falls on top of Marquardt after Nate’s sloppy takedown attempt, and the horn sounds.

Round 3: Marquardt dodges a flying knee and gets on top. Leites goes for the triangle choke, but Nate gets out. Herb Dean deducts another point from marquardt for strikes to the back of the head. Marquardt lands a right straight. Leites lands a big punch. Marquardt looks like he doesn’t have enough gas to finish. Marquardt takes Leites down and lands in his guard. Marquardt lands some shots from above. Leites’s face is gory. Leites goes for an arm-lock. Marquardt picks Leites up and slams him on his head. Leites gets up and the horn blows.

The judges call it 28-27 for Leites, 28-27 for Marquardt, and 28-27 for Thales Leites. Due to the penalties handed to Marquardt, Leites takes the split-decision. Leites: “This guy is a fucking tough guy.” Lotta post-fight cursing today!
Update on the ipecac bet: 11-4 in favor of Fightlinker. I’ll need to call the last three fights perfectly to win. Hey, it could happen…

They’re showing the Lambert/Cane fight now. Lambert pushes the pace early and clinches with Cane against the cage. Cane throws some sharp short punches. Lambert breaks free and chases Cane but gets caught with a punch and hits the deck. He gets up but is dropped again by Cane. Lambert swinging wild punches and Cane drops him a third time. Herb Dean steps in to put Lambert out of his misery. Lambert goes for a single-leg on Herb Dean. Cane gets the TKO at 2:07 of the first.

Marcus Davis vs. Mike Swick
Round 1: Swick misses a head kick, and another. Marcus lands a leg kick, and they clinch against the cage. Davis takes down Swick, but Swick pops out. Davis tries for another takedown, but Swick lands on top of him. Swick tries to pass guard. Elbows from Davis from the bottom. Swick isn’t making much happen from the top. Swick lands a couple punches. Davis tries to get up, but Swick puts him back down and lays some more leather. Swick is smothering Davis, though not causing much actual damage. And the horn sounds. Davis’s face is bloody.

Round 2: Davis lands a nice left hook, and Swick answers back with a leg kick. Swick punches Davis and he falls to the mat. Swick in Davis’s guard. Swick moves to side-control. Davis goes for a kimura. Davis gets to his feet and catches Swick with a punch. They clinch against the cage. Davis with some dirty boxing. They exchange knees. Davis takes down Swick and lands in Swick’s guard. Swick nearly gets a triangle but Davis pulls out and gets to his feet. The round ends.

Round 3: Davis and Swick exchange punches. Davis pushes Swick against the cage, but Swick gets out. They exchange again against the cage. The crowd is doing the wave. Anything to entertain themselves. Marcus tries for a takedown, but Swick gets up. Mario Yamasaki deducts a point from Swick for holding the fence. Swick takes down Davis and starts getting aggressive. Davis’s face is a mess as Swick throws down shots. Swick windmilling punches and the horn blows.

Davis has an enourmous gash on his cheek. All three judges score the match 29-27 in favor of Mike Swick. Davis’s 11-fight win streak comes to an end, as does my 15-year not-throwing-up streak : (

Michael Bisping vs. Jason Day
Bisping comes out “Song 2″ by Blur, and the crowd “Whoo-hoo!”s right along with it. NONE MORE BRITISH.
Round 1: Day lands a leg kick and they exchange glancing punches. Bisping catches Day’s leg and nearly takes him down. They clinch against the fence and Bisping takes Day down and rains down blows from the top. Bisping passes to side control. Day stands up and eats a knee, then Bisping takes Day down again. Bisping takes Day’s back and throws punches into the side of Day’s head. Day rolls and turtles. Miragliotta calls it. First round TKO victory for Bisping. 3:42, officially. Bisping yanks the mic from Joe Rogan and thanks the roaring crowd. Guy Ritchie is thrilled!

Matt Hughes vs. Thiago Alves
Thiago standing about five feet away in the face-off, like Hughes stinks or something.
Round 1: Alves stuffs an early takedown attempt. Alves stuffs another, and throws a couple knees into Hughes’s body. They clinch against the cage, and Hughes falls back and pulls guard. He almost grabs an armbar, but Alves springs out. Hughes takes a knee to the face during a takedown attempt, then falls on top of Alves in half-guard. Alves tries to get up but Hughes sticks on him. Hughes laying on top without much action. Alves gets up but Hughes has his leg. Alves escapes and they fall to the mat, with Alves on top landing some nice punches. Round one’s in the books…

Round 2: Hughes takes a big knee going for a takedown and falls to his back. There’s a big cut over his nose now, pouring blood into his eyes. Hughes gets up but takes an enormous flying knee and is sent to his back. Alves throws down some punches and it’s stopped. In the replay, it shows Hughes falling very badly on his knee. Bad times for the country boy.
Alves: “Hard work paid off, guys!” Christ, what an asshole! He apologizes for not making weight, and blames it on spraining his ankle close to the fight, which impeded his cardio work. Alves addresses Dana White, says “I’ve been a good boy…please give me a title shot! I’m not going to get on my knees because Georges St. Pierre did it.” Cut to a very unamused Dana White.
Hughes thanks Jesus; unfortunately, it was in His plan for Thiago Alves to win tonight. “Matt Serra better start working on his game plan now,” Hughes says.

Final score of the ipecac bet? 14-7, Fightlinker. Pitiful. Stay tuned for more details on all that. They’re showing the Wiman/Tavares fight right now, but you know how that one turns out, so I’m going to sign off and enjoy the rest of my Saturday. Congrats, Ryan, you’re a great opponent and I give all respect to you. That stuff I said before was just to hype the bet…