sloths funny photos album covers
Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

UFC 91 Weigh-In Report: Strange New World


(Yeah, laugh it up.)

Welcome to MMA’s alternate universe. It looks like the MGM Grand the day before UFC 91, but something weird is going on. Junie Browning is getting mobbed in the hotel lobby while Roger Huerta sits in a bar quietly sipping espresso. Bruce Buffer walks by looking like he’s fresh from the gym and a drunk guy in an Affliction shirt almost loses his mind.

Fortunately for the UFC, they also have fans lined up around the corner just to see the weigh-in. At least two thousand of them fill the stands by four o’clock. Amazingly, the weigh-in starts right on time and is over twenty minutes later. Everyone makes weight. Brock Lesnar elicits as many boos as camera flashes. Joe Rogan interviews Randy Couture and compares Lesnar to the final boss in a video game. As much as I hate to admit, it’s a pretty good metaphor.

What’s worrisome for Couture is the cold hard numbers game. He weighs in at a svelte 220 pounds. Lesnar cuts to down to hit 265. By the time they step in the Octagon tomorrow night, Lesnar will likely be closer to 280, while Couture won’t be any bigger. It’s a sobering reality for Captain America. Or at least it ought to be.

Complete figures from today’s weigh-in after the jump.

Randy Couture (220) vs. Brock Lesnar (265)
Kenny Florian (156) vs. Joe Stevenson (156)
Gabriel Gonzaga (256) vs. Josh Hendricks (238)
Demian Maia (185) vs. Nate Quarry (185)
Tamdan McCrory (170) vs. Dustin Hazelett (170)
Aaron Riley (156) vs. Jorge Gurgel (155)
Rafael dos Anjos (155) vs. Jeremy Stephens (155)
Mark Bocek (155) vs. Alvin Robinson (155)
Ryan Thomas (170) vs. Matt Brown (171)

Tags:

Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

comments
Sort by : Show hidden comments
Gab Gonzaga- November 15, 2008 at 1:35 am
So easy a caveman can do it
MKXii- November 14, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Coutures tanner, he win. Pasty Lesnar's always lose, it's in the bible.
cr_trinity- November 14, 2008 at 10:44 pm
I don't care how much flak I cop for this. I smell a Work brewing between Lesnar and Couture. Couture doesn't rank well against larger opponents who ae skilled in wrestling. If it isn't going to be worked, WHEN LESNAR WINS, they'll finally bust him on Roid Charges motivated by political reasons, the same shit they pulled on Barnett when he pounded Couture's face in.
Lake Wang- November 14, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Poor Randy, he's going to take a beating.
Anonymous- November 14, 2008 at 9:54 pm
why did they take that line out? anyway tell the truth by "sipping espresso" you meant downing shots of vodka and huerta and the drunk guy in the affliction shirt are the same person. poor poor huerta. Captain america!!!!!
K.E.G.- November 14, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Jay Smith is a fag
shank daddy- November 14, 2008 at 8:46 pm
i was pissed when i heard couture had a contract dispute. when i seen lesnar demolish herring i wanted this fight. now that its here i hope that im right and lesnar is just a green mma fighter that doesn't cut in the top of the division.. and i wolud have loved to see carwin vs. lesnar befor this one
shank daddy- November 14, 2008 at 8:45 pm
i was pissed when i heard couture had a contract dispute. when i seen lesnar demolish herring i wanted this fight. now that its here i hope that im right and lesnar is just a green mma fighter that doesn't cut in the top of the division.. and i wold have loved to see carwin vs. lesnar befor this one
Joey- November 14, 2008 at 8:42 pm
@ Chiggs
...The Arian Barbarian...I'm massive LOLing at that!
just some dong- November 14, 2008 at 8:31 pm
brock should be able to beat anyone... he's huge even for a heavyweight and he's a pure athlete. top notch wrestling allows you to dictate fights and have a long mma career. so that's why i think he'll be champ for a while. if that's what he wants.
like randy said, he's him 9 years ago. he just needs to keep training cardio & jitz defense, and keep sucking down those HGHs.
Junebug- November 14, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Ok, first I gotta give props to all you Tater-ites who come up with such funny posting names - "just some dong" - "piss in my own fruit tray" - "massive mma erection" - "shitwhistle" - "randys cock tattoo" - "shaken baby syndrome"!!! LMAO! damn I wish I was creative enough to come up with something funny ...... ;-P

ANYWAY .......

*** I noticed that the FIRST time I read this column, the lead in read "Junie Browning is getting mobbed in the hotel lobby while FORREST walks through unmolested." I see that has changed now.

So who got their feelings hurt??? Did Dana object to the UFC LHW champion being mildly dissed in this way???
TUF Guy- November 14, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Hey guys..I talked to Randy and Brock this afternoon to go over their game plans. They are both ready to fight and it should be a good battle.

I gave them a few tips on how I would approach the fight which they will be utilizing this evening.
MMA FAN- November 14, 2008 at 6:36 pm
why the fuck are you guys talking about brock beigna champion for a while???!!
okay so you think he will beat randy...
you think he will beat big Nog? really?
i guess you are more stupid than the UFC guy...
we dont really know hows randy cause he hasnt fought for more than a year bug Nog used to be number 2 and after fedor demolished him he has been number 2. That won't change
i like cake- November 14, 2008 at 5:44 pm
couture to win by tko 3.24 in round 4
just some dong- November 14, 2008 at 5:37 pm
all chestnar needs to do is pump out jabs and straights. crack cooter with one or two and then shoot in. get him worried about the takedown and then he can really hurt him on the feet. conditioning won't be a factor cuz chestnar can just lay on cooter all day if he wants.
Bill C.- November 14, 2008 at 4:51 pm
"Anyone think Couture’s chin bight be questioned in this one? 1 punch in the kisser from those lunch boxes that Brock calls hands, and I think it might be over."

That's a good point.
randy's cock tattoo- November 14, 2008 at 4:32 pm
randy is going to sleep. he wouldn't stand a chance against fedor and will get hurt by lesnar.
Phunnybonz- November 14, 2008 at 4:17 pm
@KimC
Quote: "Brock wins in the first by shaken baby syndrome"

That is the most awesome comment ever! Thanks for the LOLs. =)
Anonymous- November 14, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Anyone think Couture's chin bight be questioned in this one? 1 punch in the kisser from those lunch boxes that Brock calls hands, and I think it might be over. Mark my words, Randy won't be able to take a first punch like the one Brock delivered to herring.

If Randy can hopefully avoid one of those, he will sub Brock. I wouldn't bet a penny on this one.

Also, Florian/Stevenson will be a fucking great fight. That one fight make this a very watchable card.
Bill C.- November 14, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Couture by TKO or Submission in the 4th.
DJ- November 14, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Sorry that was a typo, meant Wand/Page. Still, 2 great fights to look forward to if this is a wash-out. Can't believe nobody's mentioned or made light of Brock's hatred of planes. He includes travelling on planes as training. Maybe Dana spikes his milk A-team style to get his ass to vegas and so forth
Razzle465- November 14, 2008 at 2:52 pm
anybody else been getting the chickipedia when they hit cagepotato.com?!

Captain American is going to get nailed. Sad but true.
Spuds- November 14, 2008 at 1:49 pm
dam wwe bullshit
Clyde- November 14, 2008 at 1:02 pm
What the hell is an Omomuratine?
Chiggs- November 14, 2008 at 12:55 pm
@Derly
LMFAO those last couple comments are some of the funniest shit Ive read on here lol..
As for the fight, ya Dana is stackin the odds against Cotoure so he can then ride Brocks cock all the wayto the bank, exploit the Arian Barbarian like good ole Vince did. Also should brock be under suspension for all the roids he got busted with in 2001..fucker had about ten pounds of it...
CagePotatoMMA