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UFC 96 Scene Report: The Meatheads Are Taking Over


(A good representative of the spokesmodels at the Arnold Classic.  I’ll let you decide whether that’s good or bad.)

I have no idea what Columbus, Ohio is like on weekends when it isn’t hosting the Arnold Classic and the UFC.  Maybe it’s a normal, pleasant little town.  But this particular weekend it shines like a beacon attracting every meathead in North America.  It’s the kind of city where when you walk into a restaurant and ask the hostess if there’s room at the bar, she replies that there’s an empty seat next to a big guy in a backwards baseball cap and then stops herself when she realizes that description is no help at all.

The UFC knows what they’re doing coming here on this weekend.  Instead of trying to draw their crowd to Las Vegas, this is the weekend that they go where their crowd already is.

And since I’m here to report on tomorrow’s fights I figured, when in the land of meatheads, go to the Arnold Classic – or, as I now like to call it, Land of the Awesome t-shirts.



(Yeah, you knew these assholes would be there.  And Anthony Johnson.)

Walking around the convention center that houses the Arnie Classic, you’re bound to see t-shirts bearing slogans that seem like they’re making fun of t-shirts bearing slogans.  

“Look Good Naked,” read one rather chubby man’s shirt.  This prompts one to wonder, what about looking good clothed?  A woman with large, obviously fake boobs wore one with a road sign on it saying: “Caution: Baby Under Construction.”

My personal favorite was one I saw on a guy who was nearly as wide as he was tall, covered in some kind of fake tanning chemical, sporting a carefully sculpted faux-hawk.  His t-shirt said simply: “It’s just genetics."

It made me want to break into a ‘U-S-A!’ chant right then and there, except I would have been drowned out by the people a few feet away chanting ‘Muscle-Tech!’  Seriously.

Surprisingly, the Arnold Classic really has something for everyone.  In addition to powerlifting contests and booths hawking every imaginable supplement, there was also a ping pong tournament, grappling competitions, and some kind of weirdo fitness dance-off that was immensely popular.  


(It’s all fun and game until it’s not anymore.)

The strangest thing was the Army recruit station that offered a large scale war simulator that might have been cool if not for the fact that actual members of the Army are dying right now doing the real thing.  Makes the fun video game experience seem…inappropriate.

I much prefer this type of combat.


(It was a good fight until the kid with the red gloves gassed out.)

Now I’m off to the weigh-ins, and after that our VIP party with Fight! Magazine at the Sugar Bar.  If you’re in the area you should come on down at 10 pm and I’ll let you buy me a drink.  Just don’t think it means that I, you know, owe you anything afterwards.  Okay, maybe just one dance.

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Jay Smith- March 7, 2009 at 6:00 am
@OB&I
Yeah but, Bas was (IS) also a great fighter. These guys are just fans of the sport. I actually like the concept of them keeping their identity secret so they can walk down the street "out of character" and not be recognized, even though "Anonymous" says that's not why they do it. My only problem is that they are ALWAYS over doing it. It's always "that's wus up" a thousand times when they're on camera, and shit like that.
Then again, I guess if you're a grown ass man that wears either makeup or, funny clothes and a wig, you pretty much gotta act weird too.
KTFO- March 6, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Beelzebuddy - I saw Scott "LionHeart" Blevins wearing a t-shirt that said "It's not rape, it's surprise sex."

LMFAO, Give this guy a shirt!!!!
KneeToTheFace- March 6, 2009 at 8:44 pm
I didn't realize those Tapout pricks wore their horrifically juvenile costumes everywhere - not just to UFC events and in bed.
Beelzebuddy- March 6, 2009 at 7:42 pm
I saw Scott "LionHeart" Blevins wearing a t-shirt that said "It's not rape, it's surprise sex."

Who knew THAT would come back to bite him?
armfarmer- March 6, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Actually I think they said on a show that they wore the costumes to GET attention and be noticed when they were trying to sell their stupid t shirts. Not so they wouldn't get recognized in public. Either way.. it doesn't do any favors for a sport struggling for acceptance and struggling to be taken seriously.
Old, Bald and Irish- March 6, 2009 at 4:55 pm
shitwhistle Says:

"I'm not 100% sure, but it seems the Bens aren't big fans of the Tapout guys. Bens - what gives?"

Count me among the surprisingly few who detest the TapouT guys.

Don't get me wrong; I appreciate what the do for the sport in highlighting up-and-coming fighters and showing a sincere love of the sport...

...until I look at their heads and see the gimicky makeup and fake wigs.

Is THAT what MMA is all about?

I've heard that they are nice guys and basically do the get ups so they won't get recognized on the street. Smart thinking. But it turns MMA into some freakish side show. Would people act like this for professional football?

WAIT!

...don't answer that.

Anyway, I think ya'll get my point.

Look, Bas Rutten became one of the greatest ambassadors of Mixed Martial Arts and he never had to throw on a wig or make up. He just kicked ass.

Now that I think of it, Bas Rutten is the Metallica of MMA.
armfarmer- March 6, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Has anyone ever watched the tapout show and thought that punkass, the only one that doesn't come off as a complete deush, is mostly just sitting there thinking to himself "your making lots of money.. just shut up and pretend you don't think these guys are huge toolbags..". Then again I've only managed to tolerate a couple episodes so maybe I'm wrong.
armfarmer- March 6, 2009 at 4:50 pm
I'm not 100% sure, but it seems the Bens aren't big fans of the Tapout guys.

Bens - what gives?

Did you really just ask that? There are actually people that don't want to see "mask" dragged out into the street and beaten to death?
KadumeL- March 6, 2009 at 3:57 pm
ROFL OMGOMG GIVE THAT GUY A SHIRT...

Seriously
aj- March 6, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Douche bags at a UFC event? Nahhhhh. I wish Lesner would just come out of the closet already so we can skim off this sort of crowd.
ample- March 6, 2009 at 2:05 pm
anthony johnson is the shit
Kadumel- March 6, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Thanks... I think?

Usually someone else is posting under my name saying this crap -

ROFL OMGOMG GIVE THAT GUY A SHIRT...

That isn't me fyi
Anonymous- March 6, 2009 at 1:43 pm
kadumel, most of the time I find you to be a d-bag, but good pick up on the Mir injury story.
skyjo- March 6, 2009 at 1:38 pm
"It’s the kind of city where when you walk into a restaurant and ask the hostess if there’s room at the bar, she replies that there’s an empty seat next to a big guy in a backwards baseball cap and then stops herself when she realizes that description is no help at all."

That's a pretty lame attempt at creating a visual image. Maybe you should write for Sherdog.
MMAOhio- March 6, 2009 at 1:22 pm
The kid in the red gloves going for a low blow, Steve Mazzagati called Blue gloves out by TKO shortly thereafter
Kadumel- March 6, 2009 at 1:22 pm
??MIR OUT OF BOUT??

5 ounces of Pain is reporting Frank Mir has injured his back and has withdrawn from his title shot against Brock Lesnar.
shitwhistle- March 6, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I'm not 100% sure, but it seems the Bens aren't big fans of the Tapout guys.

Bens - what gives?


Anonymous- March 6, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Do you think Dana would get a kick out of a "it's just genetics" shirt for the post fight interview?
Anonymous- March 6, 2009 at 1:07 pm
errr... first....
Anonymous- March 6, 2009 at 1:07 pm
first.....whatever the fuck that means
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