(Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)
We’re closing in on the start time for UFC Fight Night 17, an event whose fairly mediocre lineup threatens to be hopelessly overshadowed by the tornado of MMA controversy and news. But no matter, there are free fights on and we’re going to enjoy ourselves, dammit.
Hit refresh often and don’t bring me down with your bitching about how Jeremy Stephens isn’t a main event fighter. He is tonight. Think positive!
I’ll be honest, I did not expect to hear Goldberg kick off the broadcast with the line “B.J. Penn is the champion.” But then he continued to talk about the lightweight division and I got it, I caught on. Wonder if that’s the UFC’s not so subtle way of saying Penn can go ahead and forget about a third fight with GSP. Let’s hope.
Oh yeah, commercials. This is why pay-per-views are better. But then how would we know about the new Spike TV series, “1,000 Ways to Die”? We wouldn’t. We’d just be happy instead.
Anthony Johnson vs. Luigi Fioravanti
Round 1
Fioravanti lands the first blow with a right hand in an early exchange. Johnson responds a few moments later with a couple of kicks, but we’re off to a fairly slow start. Fioravanti lands another right, and Johnson keeps chopping at him with leg kicks. A right hand from Johnson catches Fioravanti on the chin at the end of an exchange. Fioravanti tries a single-leg but Johnson seems unconcerned, and stops it. In the clinch a Fioravanti knee catches Johnson in the junk. Rogan pauses a moment to lament nature’s poor design when it comes to the testicles. You just don’t get that in a boxing broadcast.
A good right from Johnson drops Fioravanti. He scrambles back up, but Johnson puts the pressure on and drops him with another right, then finishes with a flurry of hammer fists, about forty percent of which seem to find the back of Fioravanti’s head. Troy Waugh has seen enough, and calls it off near the end of the first.
(An ad for ExtenZe, eh? Looks like Spike TV’s advertisers really know their audience. Otherwise, would we be watching someone who is our dad’s age talk about making his penis larger and improving his performance? Noooo way.)
Anthony Johnson defeats Luigi Fioravanti via TKO at 4:39 of round 1.
Johnson says he is unhappy about his performance, for some reason. You gotta love a guy who can find something to complain about in his own first-round stoppage.
Mac Danzig vs. Josh Neer
The wordsmith Neer aptly describes the stakes in this fight by saying that the winner takes a step forward and the loser takes a step backwards. Or – just thinking out loud here – the loser might get cut if it’s his second straight loss and he was recently arrested for DUI and hit-and-run. Who knows.
Shit, the Vermont Teddy Bear company has a surprisingly noticeable ad on Neer’s banner. I guess if they’re paying, you got no choice.
Round 1
A big right from Neer drops Danzig right away. He’s back up, covering up as Neer bangs away. The cobwebs cleared, Danzig fires back with an uppercut and some knees, then later a right to the body and then to the head. Danzig landing some good shots, but Neer seems unaffected. Neer has a cut over his left eye. Danzig flicks out some leg kicks and Neer comes running in, right into an overhand right that puts him on his back. Danzig follows him down and nearly gets triangled. Back on their feet Neer is landing and showboating a little. Danzig backs away and lands a few sparing shots before the end of the round. Exciting start to this one.
Round 2
Neer puts Danzig down and starts hammering him with elbows. Danzig looks a little overwhelmed, but Neer tries to take his back and slips off to end up on the bottom. Now Danzig on top and looking to ground-and-pound, though it’s not as damaging as Neer’s was. Neer seems to be pleading for a stand-up, then changes his mind and locks up a triangle. Danzig does absolutely nothing to stop it, even though the whole arena can see it coming. He makes a token attempt at escaping but gets flipped over and taps. What happened to Mac Danzig? Seems like he folded rather easily here. Big submission win for Neer.
Josh Neer defeats Mac Danzig via submission (triangle choke) at 3:36 of round 1.
Seriously, now Joe Rogan is interviewing a DEA agent? Joe Rogan. Who loves weed. Who was recently photographed loving weed in High Times magazine. Does no one else see the irony in this?
Cain Velasquez vs. Denis Stojnic
Hold up. Stojnic’s nickname is Denis “The Menace”? He does know that’s the name of an American comic strip character, right?
Round 1
Velasquez comes out throwing hard and landing, then clinches up and presses Stojnic up against the fence for some knees. A left from Velasquez and then a takedown attempt that turns into a clinch where Velasquez throws some hard knees to the head. Velasquez is pounding him with knees and punches up against the fence. Stojnic is taking them all and motioning Cain in like he just can’t get enough of this skull-thumpin’. Looks like Velasquez will see the second round for the first time. Only because Stojnic can take a shot, though that’s about all he can do.
Round 2
Stojnic throws some wild, errant punches and tries a guillotine as it goes to the ground, but he’s got nothing for Velasquez. Cain is mauling him on the ground with punches and elbows. Stojnic is just covering up and waiting for the bad times to be over. And they are. Referee Jorge Ortiz finally stops it, though Velasquez seems like he’d rather keep beating Denis the Menace’s ass. Sorry. No mas.
Cain Velasquez defeats Denis Stojnic via TKO (punches) at 2:34 of round 2.
Dominant victory for Velasquez, who looked almost as if he was fighting a severely outmatched opponent making his UFC debut. How ‘bout that.
Matt Grice vs. Matt Veach
Round 1
Veach comes out fast and gets a takedown after some decent strikes. Grice nearly gets an anaconda choke, but Veach escapes. Uppercut from Grice drops Veach, who then eats a ton of hard shots but somehow hangs in. Grice passes guard and gets to mount, but looks like he may have worn himself out trying to put Veach away. Now Veach reverses top to bottom before they get back to their feet. Grice lands a nice hook and uppercut. Veach lands a big right hand that drops Grice with less than a minute left. A couple more strikes from Veach and the ref stops it very early. After letting Veach take a serious beating on his back, he doesn’t give Grice the same opportunity to recover and fight his way out. Grice is pissed, and deservedly so.
Matt Veach defeats Matt Grice via TKO (punches) at 4:34 of round 1.
Who was it who pegged Veach as an underdog pick on this card? Oh yeah. That was us. If only it wasn’t tainted by Troy Waugh’s early stoppage.
All these commercials for Spike TV shows about DEA agents and vice cops. Nothing like prosecuting victimless crimes to make good reality TV.
Joe Lauzon vs. Jeremy Stephens
Stephens says he wants the limelight and the fans that Lauzon enjoys. Somebody has obviously misinformed him about Lauzon’s popularity.
Round 1
Stephens doesn’t waste any time throwing his big, telegraphed right. Lauzon tries a takedown, I think, but ends up with Stephens in his open guard. They get back to their feet with Lauzon pressing Stephens against the fence and landing a couple decent knees. Lauzon tries for an ankle lock, but it isn’t there and so he gets back up and secures a very nice takedown. Elbows from Lauzon in the guard, and when Stephens tries to get up Joe passes and goes quickly to mount. Lauzon jumps into an armbar. After a brief struggle, Stephens escapes. Less than a minute left, Stephens lands some strong punches from Lauzon’s guard. Lauzon tries to get up and Stephens slams him to finish out the round on top.
Round 2
Lauzon clearly wants to get inside on Stephens, and lands a right hand on his way in, mostly avoiding Stephens’ wild haymakers. Slick takedown from Lauzon and he easily passes to side control. Lauzon goes to north-south, controlling but not really damaging Stephens. Lauzon mounts and begins tossing down some elbows. Stephens rolls and gives up his back. Stephens escapes and lands in Lauzon’s open guard before moving Lauzon against the fence. Lauzon has a cut near his hairline, and you know how those can bleed. But that slick Lauzon gets Stephens on his back again, mounts, and sinks in an armbar. Stephens tries to roll out but Lauzon sticks with it and makes him tap. Great display of jiu-jitsu by Lauzon.
Joe Lauzon defeats Jeremy Stephens via submission (armbar) at 4:43 of round 2.
Round 1
There isn’t much time left in the broadcast as they decide to show this one, which is a bad sign for someone. Rosholt tries a takedown immediately, but Miller counters by going for a heelhook. He uses it to get up and then grabs a guillotine as Rosholt continues looking for the takedown. It’s tight, and Rosholt taps, though the ref can’t see it right away. Welcome to the big leagues, Jake. Now don’t mess with the Miller brothers.
Dan Miller defeats Jake Rosholt via submission (guillotine) at 1:03 of round 1.
That’s all for Fight Night 17. Hope it was good for you, Potato Nation. I’m closing up and cracking a beer. Good night, and good luck.
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Comments
Sat, 02/07/09 - 05:48
Go J-Lau!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 05:49
First
Sat, 02/07/09 - 05:57
Third! Does anybody else not get the whole "first" thing?
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:04
any1 else see bruce buffers head snap action when announcing anthony johnson??......bruce was feeling his energy right there-sumthin mike goldberg would say
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:05
O ya! LETS GO LUIGI!!!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:06
WOW! talking about those games the other day!! that new Street Fighter looks WICKED!! Shit is there much of a difference between PS 3 and XBOX?? I know the BOX is much cheaper right??
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:10
hahahah joe rogan"what a stupid design" mike goldberg"hey im scared".......great announcing duo right there ps anthony=stud
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:13
shit! nice try Luigi!! you hung in there for a ....while??
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:13
Fiorivanti beat Brody Farber? Maybe this is a better card than I thought! On a side note how come no one told me that Stojnic was a fat ass? I bet my kid's orthodontistry money on the Bosnian Louis Anderson?
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:17
Is anyone going against Cane?? I'm not!!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:17
Des Moines in the house
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:19
O Danzig first! I gotta go with uhh yeeaa Danzig
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:20
Rumble is legit
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:30
neer punches like a girl
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:30
Def Rd 1 to Danzig
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:30
by choke in the 2nd
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:31
Close round probably 10-9 Danzig
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:32
Joe Rpgan on the design of the male body and the purpose of balls being on the outside... "the only purposed i can think they have is to PREVENT RAPE" LMFAO i love joe rogan. i can't believe he just said that. made my night. kind of weird trying to explain to my mom why that was funny. yea so what im staying in on a saturday and visiting my mom. it's not like i was gonna go out and get a blowjob anyway.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:33
Danzig is going to go home and put a cold piece of tofu on his eye.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:33
Wow
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:34
Anonymous: "Does anybody else not get the whole "first" thing?" Nope, no idea what it's all about. Anybody else?
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:34
Nice sub Iowa... now just get that tramp stamp removed and stop drinking and driving and you'll be in business
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:35
wooow nice call on the choke
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:36
Wow I hate Josh Neer now. What a douchebag.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:37
That triangle look almost more painful than choke Royce used on me at first UFC. But I kick out Teila Tuli's teeth, so I win.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:37
fukin Neer...what a queer...i shit bigger than that faggot. WAR IOWA!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:38
G.G. LMAO wow!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:39
No ive never understood the whole FIRST thing That is Gayer then AIDS!! but Im still going with Cain by TKO in the 2nd
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:40
Josh Neer is a tough mother fucker. I honestly don't know if I could beat him.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:44
Say what you want about Joe Rogan, but him interviewing a DEA agent while looking stoned out of his mind was hilarious.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:45
Alright so I had right round, Had right finish, Just wrong guy does that earn a point of the Potato score board??
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:46
LMAO!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:46
Rogan with a DEA agent, now that is comedy
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:48
Josh Neer is a nutsack.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:48
war stojnic!!!!!$$$$$$$$$$
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:50
Part of the promotional contract with the DEA show was probably that the agent couldn't arrest Rogan for possession on the trip.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:53
Danzig needs to take some performance enhancing meat.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:53
If Neer is a "nutsack" Danzig is the taint.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:53
this fight reminds me of when ultimate warrior would fight some guy named bill johnson plus 400 odds had to take him tho
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:55
Dennis "The Menace". Clearly the worst nickname in the history of everything.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:55
Anyone else find it extremely ironic that Joe Rogan was interviewing a DEA agent and giggling like a schoolgirl about it. Joe is the man.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 06:58
I don't get the whole first thing. Do you win a prize? or just the recognition for being a mook?
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:00
DAMN i would suck the milk out of those lactating man boobs!!!!!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:01
looks like cain really wants to prove a point with his striking
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:04
ya josh neer's tramp stamp is clear evidence that tatoo artists need to exhibit far more artistic integrity
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:05
haha dennis looks like he got the munchies in amsterdam
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:06
gay fuckin stoppage!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:06
I think Stojnic making the second round was like when an orca will play with a sea lion to learn to hunt then put them nicely back on land.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:06
i bet cain hasnt hit a punching bag that soft in a bit
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:06
Fuck this Ortiz ref. What a retard. Did he really remove the fighter's leg from the cage because his toes were on a link? Gimme a break, stupid ass ref.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:09
That sux to stop a fight like that, He wasnt hurt but he was getting hit, Shouldnt he just stand them up?? I think so! But I had Right RD Right Finish right fighter YEEAA theres some points!!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:11
thats what that dennis always needed! now bring him to me pantsless!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:12
Go with Griece just because Gracie by tko in the 1st
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:12
dude i saw that! whats he think stojnics a fuckin orangutan. "don't grab the fence"
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:12
Hats off to Stojnic. That man is tough as hell. Dominated but still dangerous.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:12
i have never seen mike and joe so far up someones ass before
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:12
That stoppage wasn't too terrible. That guy wasn't going to do anything and was looking for a way out.... You have to stop it there because you can't stand them up because Cain was in too much of a dominant position.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:13
Holy shit. I hope pics of Stojnic's legs post fight float around. They have to be wicked f'd.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:15
In the Veach fight...not the Cain fight that is...
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:16
what a chin on Veach that could be fight of the night
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:16
That was a terrible stoppage!!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:17
he wasn't even close to ko'd he stood up immediaetly!!!! ufc = gay
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:17
now THAT was a bad stoppage
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:17
Veach is a lucky boy tonight...
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:18
get this ref the fuck outa here, how hard is it to tell the difference between someone who is ko'd and someone who is not
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:18
B'AH!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:19
Give me pelligrino/emerson after main event please....
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:19
bad stoppage, veach was more out of it earlier and it wasnt stopped. grice didnt even look hurt
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:22
..you know its similar!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:24
ya wtf i wanted miller v rosholt too
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:25
Iowa in the house again
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:26
That stoppage was early in the Veach fight
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:30
Alright I'm going with J-Lau bu choke in the ...3rd
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:35
surprised the ref didn't just stop it
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:37
j-lo by elbows
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:38
did he just say he feels slick!!!??!!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:38
JLau by ironic ballkick
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:39
nice fireman's carry
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:43
nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:44
nice armbar jlau!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:44
fucking all 3 jersey boys get cut off the card?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fucking war!!!!!!!!!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:45
yo nigs, i fought dat firemans carry uz liek a pro wresslin move, ya herd? or wut iz it mah nigs?
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:47
10-9 J Lau... shit
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:47
1 is better than none
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:48
john cena woulda finished it there tri
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:49
that choke out on rosholt brought to you by PETA
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:51
"fukin Neer...what a queer...i shit bigger than that faggot." So that means you get plowed harder than him, allowing for a greater diameter to deposit more in the porcelain throne? Wow, nice one.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:52
they had some quality refereeing tonight....
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:52
Shit so no undercards now then!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:56
yeah apparently defending yourself isn't enough you have to do it intelligently maybe spitting out some chemistry equations while blocking
Sat, 02/07/09 - 07:58
guillotines are so gay
Sat, 02/07/09 - 08:00
So lets hear it from all the Sugar haters. Josh Neer was showboating before he even did anything, refused to touch up at the start of the second and whined about a supposed headbut after his win. Is this the class and sportsmanship that Rashad lacks??? BTW, J-Lau has got skillz. That was damn beautiful!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 08:04
Dan Severn German suplexing me onto the back of my head > 'Bones' Jones bending Bonnar in half with his German suplex
Sat, 02/07/09 - 08:12
i don't think neer was show boating he was just saying come on! he went forward the whole fighht while danzig backpeddled
Sat, 02/07/09 - 08:23
Does anyone else find it maddening when Goldberg uses the phrase "everything else is virtually identical"? He fucks that up almost every time and he did it again tonight. Joe Lauzon: 2 inches shorter, 2 inch less reach, 2 years older... everything else is virtually identical. They both weighed 176. 3 out of 4 stats are different, yet they're virtually identical. I hat that fucking guy. He's gotta be Dana's sister's husband or something. He's retarded.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 08:24
^Hate, not hat.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 08:24
Neer is a tool. I love it when fighters act like they want us to hate them, cause then I don't have to feel bad when I actually do hate them. I didn't care who won the Lauzon/Stevens fight until Stevens went "BOOM!" into the camera during his closeup. From that point I just wanted to see him get his ass kicked. What a douche. Did Edith's rack look great tonight or what?
Sat, 02/07/09 - 09:00
@ PERDEW Just because you're staying in with your Mom doesn't mean you won't get a blowjob...
Sat, 02/07/09 - 09:21
I was there tonight. Robbie lawler and bigfoot were there, i dunno if they were on tv. Hughes got pulver in an armlock and pulver grabbed his nuts and stole his hat. They were so funny. Got to meet dana and i told bruce it wouldnt be the same without the buffer turn. He said his mom thinks so too.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 09:24
I actually can't believe you lame ass mother fuckers watched this shitty card!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 10:16
I noticed that too...The more I learn about the more i hate him, he's a cocky fuck and he can't back it up. He's nothing more than a useless drunk and a crappy fighter, cant wait to see him get knocked the FUCK OUT!
Sat, 02/07/09 - 10:39
actually he is from europe, where dennis the menace is a completely different character, i got a book its really funny, look him up youll laugh
Sat, 02/07/09 - 10:44
Another fascinating example is Dennis the Menaces. Born only three days apart they are not twins sharing the same name – they are completely different. The American Dennis doesn’t act in bad faith, he is causing trouble by accident, being cuddly and adorable all the time. The British Dennis REALLY is a menace. He boasts, has no manners whatsoever and fights a constant war against well-behaved boys, mainly Walter. Often his adventures end with him being spanked by his father – though a book in his shorts takes most of the impact.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 11:10
Did veach piss himself? Did Grice get beat by a dude who pissed himself? wow Grice....go suck a shotgun son, that was pathetic.
Sat, 02/07/09 - 11:41
Velasquez was a f*cking animal. I can't wait to see how he handles the "upper-echelon" of the weightclass, as (i think it was goldy) said. Also, lol @joe rogan with the dea agent. That was awesome. Rogan looked a little nervous, anybody else think he had a lot of trouble making eye contact? Kept "reading" his notes... Maybe it was just me.
Sun, 02/08/09 - 01:11
When did this Site get invaded by retards?! most off topic retarded comments EVER.
Sun, 02/08/09 - 06:40
First!
Sun, 02/08/09 - 07:27
"this fight reminds me of when ultimate warrior would fight some guy named bill johnson plus 400 odds had to take him tho" WTF?! You can accually make bets on the fake-wrestling-thing? That is just fucked up.
Sun, 02/08/09 - 09:12
Josh Neer looks like the guy at the bar...you know the guy who just got back from his local dirtbike race WHICH HE TOTALLY DOMINATED, and now hes just gunna slug PBR's until he gets into a wrestling match with his buddy from juve....... ....but God damnit if the man does not have a slick triangle
Sun, 02/08/09 - 05:34
I'm just waiting on the day that you title one of these things "Liveblog and prosper"
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