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UFC Fight Night 59: McGregor vs. Siver — Live Results & Commentary

(Mouth like Chael, ass like Arianny. / Props: Getty)

Conor McGregor vs. Dennis Siver isn’t so much a “fight” as it is a blatant showcase for an exciting young talent, against an opponent who’s about as hand-picked as they come. If all goes according to plan tonight in Boston, McGregor will score a dominant win and earn a title shot against Jose Aldo in a soccer stadium. If Siver wins…who knows? I mean, I’ll laugh my ass off, but beyond that? Hard to say.

Luckily, tonight’s co-main event should be far more competitive. Will Donald Cerrone finally “go get some!” against Benson Henderson, the former WEC/UFC champion who has beaten him twice before? Or will they just hug and stuff?

Our man Alex Giardini will be providing round-by-round UFC Fight Night 59 results from the FOX Sports 1 main card, after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and hit us up on twitter to share your own thoughts.

UFC Fight Night 59 Preliminary Card Results
Cathal Pendred def. Sean Spencer via unanimous decision (29-28, 30-27×2)
Lorenz Larkin def. John Howard via TKO (strikes) at 2:17 of R1
Chris Wade def. Zhang Lipeng via unanimous decision (30-26 x3)
Patrick Holohan def. Shane Howell via unanimous decision (30-27 x3)
Johnny Case def. Frankie Perez via TKO (strikes) at 1:54 of R3
Charles Rosa def. Sean Soriano via submission (D’arce choke) at 4:43 of R3
Sean O’Connell def. Matt Van Buren via TKO (strikes) at 2:11 of R3
Joby Sanchez def. Tateki Matsuda via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 30-27)

Alright, Potato Nation … just had to go puke because of that Carl Pendred-Sean Spencer decision, but we’re pretty psyched about the “Irish Muhammad Ali” vs. the “German Barry Horowitz.” Stay for a while, and let’s do the damn thing.

Holy Christ, we’re getting a McGregor hype video before the first fight. The fight was also proclaimed as the “biggest featherweight fight in history.”

Norman Parke vs. Gleison Tibau

Round 1: Both lightweights out in southpaw stance. Parke throwing a lot of flashy kicks, and goes for the lockup. Gleison shakes him off, and tries to find his range. Tibau misses with a left, and takes a kick to the body. Parke not really aiming for the head, and goes to the body instead. Low kicks from Parke, while Tibau lands a stiff jab. Tibau goes for some spinning shit, but doesn’t follow through in the end. Left hand lands for Tibau, backing up Parke. Not much action from both guys, with Parke still focusing on his kicking game. Takedown attempt from Parke is stuffed. Tibau lands a solid right hand. Parke working some combinations now, as both men lock up in the center of the Octagon. Parke stuffs a takedown from Tibau, and the horn sounds.

Round 2: Spinning back kick attempt from Parke, and then tries some sort of dropkick, but Tibau storms him and forces Parke across the cage. Parke maintains composure, and they’re back trading in the center. Parke moving forward, pressuring Tibau closer to the fence. Left hand lands for Tibau, while taking a couple of leg kicks. Another left punch from Tibau, and he’s locked up, looking for the takedown. Parke’s takedown defense is impressive, but gets taken down a few seconds after exchanging blows. Parke gets back to his feet immediately, looking for a takedown of his own. Tibau reverses positioning, and we’re deep into the dirty boxing game. Mike Goldberg reiterating that fans don’t understand how grueling the clinch game could be, as if we don’t hear it every single time it happens.

Round 3: Boston fans chanting, because they’re obviously bored. A quicker pace from both guys to open the third, as Parke shoots low for a takedown with Gleison’s back to the fence. Tibau breaks free, but Parke is still driving forward. Tibau’s striking is extremely technical, and gets a double stuffed. Good straight rights from Tibau, while Parke nails him with a left hook. Parke is definitely the wilder striker, yet Tibau seems to be packing more power behind his punches. Parke keeping busy with jabs, while Tibau trying to find an opening. Tibau missing most of his shots, steering away from his foe’s punches. Guillotine attempt from Tibau, but he lets it go. Good movement from Parke, who lands a number of jabs after a hard kick to the body. Tibau looking to lock up again, and Parke shakes him off. Good combinations from Parke, and as he starts to find his range, Tibau takes him down and looks to take his back. Parke shakes him off, and moves Tibau to the cage while the horn sounds seconds later. Awkward fight, and kind of boring to say the least.

Gleison Tibau def. Norman Parke via split decision (29-28×2, 28-29)

Tibau now third for most UFC wins, behind GSP and Matt Hughes. Kind of neat, considering it’s Gleison Tibau. Anyhow, a promo for the Jon Jones-Charissa Thompson meeting airs, and UFC is really doing its part to protect Jones’ image here. Really wish he was getting grilled, and not answering questions the brass wrote on a cue card.

Anik and Frankie Edgar hyping up next week’s card in Sweden, and they move to Daniel Cormier and Gilbert Melendez to break down the fight. Cormier then lauds Jon Jones, which must be killing him on the inside. Gil now breaks down both Alexander Gustafsson and Anthony Johnson. We’re 45 minutes in, and only witnessed one 15-minute fight. We move to Ryan Bader and Phil Davis now. Where’s the Bellator pace when you need it?

Uriah Hall vs. Ron Stallings

Round 1: Hall starts with a flying knee, same as the Chris Leben fight, but misses this time around. Stallings came to fight, bouncy on the feet and already throwing kicks. Hall is going low with his kicks, and eats a kick to the body. Good right hand lands for Hall. Hall’s hands are down, and misses a spinning heel kick. Jesus Christ, those are freaking scary. Stallings looks a bit stifled, looking for a clue. Uriah with unorthodox movement, shuffling from side to side. Leg kick from Stallings lands. Stallings tags Hall with a left hand, backing up the TUF veteran. Hall drops Stallings with a right hand, following up with ground and pound. Stallings still on his back while Hall is back on his feet, and walks away so his opponent can get up. Referee Herb Dean halts the action to look at Stalling’s eye, which is busted open and looks a bit like that girl who had her eye blowtorched off in Hostel. The doctor is in, and stops the fight. Yikes. Unfortunate for a guy who took the fight on Monday, and he’s going to get another shot. But good Lord, that left eye looks brutal. Rogan says we’ve seen worse, and if the fight were in Vegas, it would have continued.

Uriah Hall def. Ron Stallings by TKO (doctor stoppage) at 3:37 of R1

Man, Stallings has two pretty vicious cuts surrounding his eyes. Looks like four cuts, to be honest. Hall keeps calling Stallings a kid, even though he’s a year older than him. That’s kind of wrong. Anyhow, Hall asks for this world to stop the violence, and asks why we are fighting each other. Oh, he’s talking about the outside world…not the one inside the cage. Anyhow, trilogy time, baybay …

Sorry this is taking long, you guys … they had to promote America’s Pre-Game. I’m Canadian, so I have no idea what that is.

Benson Henderson vs. Donald Cerrone

Round 1: Pro-Cerrone crowd here. They touch gloves, and it’s on in the center of the Octagon. Bendo stays out of the way of Cowboy’s punches, but Cowboy lands two jabs shortly after. Bendo lands an oblique kick, and ducks under a hook. Punches to the thigh from Bendo, while Cerrone has no problem matching his adversary’s pace. Good punches from Cerrone, stringing up a nice combination. Solid straight right from Bendo, and misses a roundhouse kick. They trade leg kicks. Nothing too risky from either guy, but Henderson is a little more on point with his strikes. With that said, a good left hook lands for Cowboy. A number of kicks to the thigh land for Bendo, and he gets decked with an uppercut. A lot of volume from Bendo here. Straight right from Cowboy, followed by a left hand. Powerful kick to the body from Cowboy, while Bendo sets up his punches by going in with a leg kick. Very nicely done, to quote Mr. Rogan. Fun so far.

Round 2: Clinch work after some punches from both, but they break free seconds later. Bendo looks for a lead elbow, and drifts away from a counter uppercut. Powerful body kicks continue for Cowboy, yet a lot of front leg thigh kicks from Bendo. Cerrone shoots low, and gets kneed to the head for his efforts. He’s not that fazed by it, and he comes back with some jabs. Kicks from Bendo now, going to the body and relentlessly attacking the lead leg. Cerrone tries to lock up with him, but to no avail. Left hook drills Bendo, and Cowboy continues the pressure with punches. Bendo gets wild, and Cerrone scores a takedown. Cowboy in half guard while Bendo attacks from the bottom. Cowboy lets him up, not being able to get comfortable on the ground. Bendo still going to the thigh, attacking it from the side and even tries to hack at it from the back. Flying knee grazes Cowboy, who lands a weak head kick on the return. Bendo misses another heel kick. The horn sounds.

Round 3: They hug to get the third going. Cowboy gets tagged by a right hand. Bendo winds up and goes to the body. A lot of action from Bendo aimed under the head, and the announcers are praising Cowboy more than him. Wild combo thrown by Cowboy, but he only lands about one out of the three punches. Cowboy tries for a spinning kick of his own, but misses. Cowboy buckles after taking a head kick, and Cowboy gets a takedown stuffed. Cowboy catching Bendo’s leg, but he’s unable to trip him. Bendo goes to the body with a right hook, after a left to the head. Takedown from Cowboy, and tries to stay on his back, but Bendo is up in seconds. Ferocious kick to the body from Benson, and Cowboy looks to be slowing down. He goes for the clinch, but can’t do much. Bendo tagging Cowboy with jabs and straights, and attempts a flying knee. Cowboy looks for the takedown again, yet Bendo is buying it. Straight right from Bendo, as he avoids a head kick. Body kicks being thrown by both fighters. Cerrone attempts a huge flying knee, but it doesn’t land. He lands a left after the jump, and that’s the end of that. They hug like friends do, but Bendo should get the nod, making him 3-0 against his fellow buddy.

Oh, Christ … Metro PCS commercial involving Cain Velasquez and Ronda Rousey sizing each other up before the decision is read.

Donald Cerrone def. Benson Henderson via unanimous decision (29-28×3)

Bendo is completely shocked, jumping up and down. Yeah, he stepped up on 12 days notice, but holy shit. UFC, never go to Boston again.

Rogan decided to interview Bendo, who still gives his passionate and religious bit, but he’s pissed as all hell. He does the “Boston Strong” bit, saying he has to move forward, and then screams at Dana White and Joe Silva to sign him up next week. Yes, Bendo has been on some favorable ends of past calls, but this one was kind of unfair.

We get a shot of Jose Aldo, who unfortunately, didn’t dress up like a king. We get a hype video for Anderson Silva vs. Nick Diaz. This fight can’t come any sooner. The only thing is, (and yes, we can rant, because trust me, we have time) Diaz is still being portrayed as the bad boy he doesn’t want to be known as, and they’re promoting him as a fierce trash-talker. He didn’t say anything about Silva leading up to this fight. Frankly, things have been quiet. UFC promotion is very odd these days. I guess money talks, bullshit talks.

Alright, onto the WWF Sunday Night Heat squash main event …

Conor McGregor vs. Dennis Siver

(Siver refuses the glove touch, gets the F-U).

Round 1: They exchange kicks, and the crowd is loud as hell. Flashy stuff from McGregor, and Siver gets a few thigh kicks in. Conor slips after throwing a kick. Good movement from Siver, and he ducks under a head kick attempt. Not many punches landing from both. Conor lands a straight left, after a few spinning kicks missed. Left hand from Connor, and he lands a good knee to the head. Left hand lands for Siver. Conor starts clapping, and hits Siver with a kick to the body. Flurry from Siver, but most of it gets blocked. Big left hand from Conor, and Siver decks him with a kick to the body. Takedown attempt from Siver gets stuffed, and he’s starting to find range with left hooks. Conor backing him up, landing good kicks to the body. Straight left from Conor has Siver’s mouthpiece on the ground, and he’s trying to follow up with damage. Herb Dean lets Siver pick up his mouthpiece. Siver gets a takedown, but Conor is up in no time. High kick lands for Conor, and Siver is busted up. Conor has him against the fence, but Siver takes him down. Conor doesn’t even land on his back, and his up again. He’s got Siver against the fence, pressuring him with punches. Uppercuts from McGregor, who turns it on and goes to the body. The round ends.

Round 2: Conor backs him up just by walking towards him. Conor still flirting with high kicks. Another uppercut lands for Conor. Siver can’t get on the inside, eating body shots and kicks aplenty. Straight lefts for Conor all day. He’s staying out of Siver’s way, and Conor drops him with a hard left hand. Herb is on the brink of stopping it as Conor gets full mount. Conor methodically landing elbows and punches. It’s over. Conor jumps the cage and gets in Aldo’s face. HOLY LORD. Aldo is smiling.

Conor McGregor def. Dennis Siver by TKO (strikes) at 1:54 of R2

Apparently, Conor said “Fuck him,” (Aldo) when FOX decided to censor half his post-fight interview. They decide NOT to bring Aldo inside the Octagon, as Rogan states it’s not a good idea. Bad move, because that would have been great. Instead, we go to Rogan, joined by Aldo and his new translator, Jorge Gurgel. Aldo says he’s a joker, and he’s pleased to laugh at him. Rogan asks if this is great because Aldo is going to make a lot of money, and before Gurgel can finish, Aldo nods like he’s listening to Cannibal Corpse. Aldo then said he wasn’t impressed by Conor’s performance.

Well, we had some good times, some bad times, but we must now say goodbye. Thanks for joining me, Potato Nation. Until next time …

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