("Listen, Gray, if you promise to stay away from my face, I think I can hook you up with a role in my next project. We’re doing a movie adaptation of ‘Big Buck Hunter.’ Should be hot." Photo courtesy of this set on CombatLifestyle.)
Spoiler alert: UFC Fight Night 19 is being broadcast on tape-delay in some parts of the country, so check your local listings before continuing if you want to keep your viewing experience pure. Now then, it’s time to see if weed-strength can overcome cocaine-quickness, and how Roger Huerta‘s farewell performance will be received by the toughest critics of all — Gray Maynard‘s fists. Live results await you after the jump; refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know how you’re feelin’ in the comments section.
And we are live in Oklahoma. A lot of gold Tapout shirts in the crowd. Were they giving those out at the door? And hey, Kenny Florian is subbing tonight for Joe Rogan, who’s filming a movie with Kevin James. Christ. Dana White’s head must be spinning now. A cameo in a Paul Blart: Mall Cop sequel is gonna make you a movie star? Gimme a fuckin’ break.
Wow, this Assasin’s Creed commercial is lasting forever. Free TV is never really free, is it.
Round 1: Push kick Credeur. Credeur lands the jab. Body kick Credeur. Quarry with a right straight. Quarry finishes a punch combo with a hard right hook. Teep from Creduer. They trade jabs. Leg kick Credeur, and Quarry returns it. They trade right hands. Credeur rushes in with punches, but doesn’t do much damage. Creduer with a 1-2. Creduer drops Quarry with punches and jumps on him, then rolls to his back, looking for the rear-naked. Quarry squirms out and gets to his feet. The crowd wakes up. Leg kick Quarry. Creduer pushes forward with strikes, but Quarry lands a punch of his own at the horn. 10-9 Crazy Tim.
Round 2: Tim complains about a pile of ice in his corner. It’s cleaned up and they start throwing, both landing bombs. Quarry rocks Credeur, then drops him. Creduer manages to establish guard, keeping Quarry at bay. Hard punches from the top from Quarry. Creduer tries to push Quarry off with his legs, but Quarry stays on him. Credeur thinks about setting up the armbar. Quarry is tenacious, not giving Credeur much room to escape. Creduer tries to set up the armbar again. Creduer punches Quarry from the bottom and again tries to kick Quarry off, but fails. Creduer slugs some more from his back and the round ends, with Quarry evening the score.
Round 3: Creduer snaps forward with punches, Quarry returns to the body. Creduer swarms with punches, but once again, Quarry counterpunches Creduer onto his ass. Quarry gets on top, in half-guard. Creduer gets up and takes more punches to the jaw, but remains on his feet. He’s very unsteady. It devolves into a slugfest. Creduer gets caught again and falls to guard. Credeur tries for a heel-hook, but doesn’t land it. Quarry in Creduer’s full guard, throwing leather. Herb Dean calls a standup, and they get up very slowly. Creduer throws a hard head kick but falls down throwing it. He gets up and they throw haymakers to the bell. Mike Goldberg: "Are you KIDDING me!"
Quarry def. Credeur via unanimous decision (29-28 x 2, 29-27 from Cecil Peoples) Quarry has a massive mouse under his right eye. He says that first-round knockouts are a lot more fun than three-round wars, and he knew that Tim would come with everything. Credeur says he’ll fight like that every time, for the fans. Sure, dude. It worked for Jorge Gurgel.
And now an extended promo for Surviving Disaster. You guys better pick up the pace or we’ll be here all night.
Carlos Condit vs. Jake Ellenberger
Round 1: Ellenberger stalks forward. He catches a kick from Condit and punches him to the mat. He follows Condit to the mat and gets in his guard. Ellenberger throws down an elbow. Condit gets to his feet and eats a punch, and they separate. Ellenberger nails Condit with three straight right hands after Condit tries a kick, and Condit goes down. He gets up, wraps a thai clinch and lands a sharp knee, but Ellenberger returns with even more punches, sending Condit to his knees, Ellenberger tries to finish with punches, but Condit survives. Ellenberger tries to set up a choke, but Condit escapes. Condit eats a kick but stays on his feet. Condit tries a weak backfist, then misses a knee. Knee from Ellenberger as Condit charges forward. There’s the horn. 10-9 for Ellenberger, damn close to a 10-8.
Round 2: Condit has a cut on his head. Leg kick Condit. Ellenberger shoots and lands a nice double-leg takedown. Condit working some rubber guard, without success. Ellenberger has him pressed pretty hard against the cage. Condit sits up and throws some elbows into Ellenberger’s ribs. Condit tries to escape and eats fist. Condit tries to get up and Ellenberger drags him back down. Condit looking for the kimura, and uses it to sweep and get the mount. Condit starts firing punches, and Ellenberger rolls to avoid damage. Condit finds the mount again and almost transitions to Ellenberger’s back, but Ellenberger reverses and gets back on top. Condit gets up. Ellenberger whiffs some punches. Condit charges forward and the round ends. I’d say another 10-9 to Jake.
Round 3: Ellenberger sticks the jab. Condit tries a head kick, then tries to take Ellenberger down but winds up on bottom. Nice elbow from Ellenberger. Condit kicks off and gets up. Ellenberger lands a high kick. He clinches. Condit takes Ellenberger down but almost gets caught in a guillotine. Condit looks for a choke from top position but Ellenberger defends. Strikes from Condit. Condit looking to take Ellenberger’s back, but Ellenberger spins out and gets on top of Condit. Condit pushes off, and they’re on their feet. Ellenberger shoots for a single and Condit sprawls, throwing down elbows and punches, then takes Ellenberger’s back and throws punches to the side of Ellenberger’s head to the final horn. He takes the round, but it may not be enough.
Condit def. Ellenberger via split decision (29-28 Condit x 2, 29-28 Ellenberger from Cecil Peoples. As usual, Peoples sees it differently then the other two judges, but I think he got it right this time.)
Hey, it’s good to see Carrot Top getting work again. He should endorse whatever steroids he uses.
Rich Franklin shows up via satellite. He says he’s going to have to keep moving his head against Vitor Belfort on Saturday night, because those punches are going to come at him fast.
Roger Huerta vs. Gray Maynard
Hey, another long commercial, this time for Saw VI. And look, Mr. Saw has something to say about health care reform. And he’s — Oh God. OH GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE! STOP! STOP, SAW!
Round 1: Leg kick Huerta. Maynard throws the right, and clinches, but Huerta gets out. Huerta whiffs the leg kick. Maynard charges forward with a right straight. Roger dashes forward with punches, but gets nothing. Huerta with a leg kick. They trade punches. Maynard with a fast overhand right. Maynard lands a left hook. Huerta stalks forward with a punch combo and lands a couple good ones that seem to briefly rock Maynard. Huerta the aggressor, but takes a shot in return. Jab Maynard. Finally Maynard comes for the takedown, but Huerta defends it against the cage. After taking a knee, Huerta comes forward with more punches. Close round. I might give it to Huerta for pushing the pace a little bit more.
Round 2: Leg kick Huerta, then a body kick. Maynard lands a hard right, snapping Huerta’s head back. More leg kicks from Huerta. Huerta gets tagged in a punch exchange. Huerta stumbles after taking a punch. Maynard goes to the body. A jab from Maynard briefly puts Huerta on his ass. Huerta rushes forward again trying to put something together, but Maynard dodges. Huerta with a leg kick, Maynard returns punches. Maynard with a knee. Huerta lands a left hook, and more punches in a combination. But the horn sounds, and Maynard most likely evens the scorecards.
Round 3: Maynard with the jab. Huerta chases, but doesn’t land on Maynard. Huerta with a knee. Huerta pushes forward with the jab. Maynard shoots, picks Huerta up and and gets the takedown. Roger gets to his knees, and to his feet, but the Bully pulls him back down. Roger flips to escape, but Maynard stays on and sets up a kimura with Huerta’s head caught between his knees. That kimura is nasty-deep. Somehow, Roger doesn’t tap, and gets to his feet. Maynard drags Huerta down yet again. Ah yes, this is the Gray Maynard we know and tolerate. Huerta up again. They dirty-box in the clinch to the bell.
Maynard def. Huerta via split decision (29-28 Huerta, 30-27 Maynard, 30-27 Maynard [Peoples]) No time for a post-fight interview. Guillard better pull off a 30-second KO, or the show’s going late.
Nate Diaz vs. Melvin Guillard
Round 1: After some epic mean-muggery, they get it on. Melvin lands a big right immediately, and sends Nate to the ground. Nate keeps him at bay with his legs, then gets back up. Melvin tries the big right again, but misses. Nate throws the jab and scores a takedown, but Guillard gets up and hip-tosses Diaz, then wisely gets back up. Nate is already bloody near his right eye. Diaz with the takedown. Guillard struggles up and separates. Guillard throws the left hook. Knee from Guillard in a clinch, then a sharp right. Diaz puts his hands up, Stockton-style. Guillard ducks Diaz’s punches. Leg kick Diaz. Diaz stalks forward, but Guillard dodges. Body kick from Guillard. Guillard clinches, and Diaz judo tosses. Guillard pops back up to the horn. I might give it to Guillard for inflicted damage, rather than Diaz for the takedowns.
Round 2: Hard body kick from Guillard. They clinch, and Diaz works his dirty-boxing. Guillard tosses Diaz to the ground, but lets him back up. Jab from Diaz. Guillard lands a nice punch combo. Guillard bounces off the fence and shoots forward with a right hand and a takedown attempt, but shoots right into a guillotine by Nate Diaz. Damn, Melvin. You got sloppy. And Nate Diaz breaks his losing streak.
Diaz def. Guillard via submission (guillotine choke), 2:13 of round 2
Time for the Kimbo show. But first…
Undercard results
- Ryan Jensen def. Steve Steinbeiss via submission (guillotine choke), 3:56 of round 1. Steinbeiss didn’t tap, and was trying to give the thumbs up when referee Gary Ritter stopped the fight. WTF.
- Mike Pierce def. Brock Larson (!?) via unanimous decision, 30-27 x 3.
- Jeremy Stephens def. Justin Buchholz via TKO (cut), 3:32 of round 1
- CB Dollaway def. Jay Silva via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
- Mike Pyle def. Chris Wilson via submission (guillotine choke), 2:15 of round 3
- Brian Stann def. Steve Cantwell via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 29-28)
Anybody who thought Guillard would do shit in that fight needs to go back to the start and begin again learning what mma is. He sucks and any time he hits somebody and they don’t stay down, you can literally see the “oh shit” look on his face. Oh, and his name is MELVIN!! corny ass moniker if there ever was one.