Seems like you should be able to predict the fight based on the shorts alone. PicProps: MMAJunkie

It happens everytime.  You write off a UFC card as uninteresting and decide to paint along with Bob Ross (or whatever it is you do with your personal time), and the fighters get wind of it and take your lack of interest personally.

They get in to the Octagon and perform stupifying acts of athleticism and heartitude, Dana White gets a huge boner at the press conference, and now you have to read recaps and watch GIFs to catch up on the action.  Sucks to be you, we guess.

Frankly, you need to be making better choices in your life — you cannot paint those happy little clouds and friendly little mountains like Bob Ross — no one can.  Frodog himself couldn’t even paint like that; all of Bob Ross’s shows were actually produced by Industrial Light and Magic.  There, the secret is out, and we can die in peace.

For those dedicated souls that tuned in, hey wow, how about that show, huh?  Like you, we had some thoughts during the fights, and unlike you, we wrote some of these thoughts down during and after the fights.   Come on in and let us tell you how you’re feeling right now.

All hail Zombie Prophet!

1. Cheaters still prosper…or do they?

Charles Oliveira and Nik Lentz were putting on a damn show in the prelims, until Oliveira blasted Lentz in the eyepiece with an illegal knee. When referee Chip Snider missed the blow completely and kept the fight going, Lentz was submitted like he had no clue what was going on. (Because he didn’t.)  Oliveira gets the win, and our blood pressure started going up … until we’re informed that reps from the Pennsylvania Athletic Commission were on the case, and the fight and the result would be examined. Props, kudos, and respect to the AC for being on the ball to: A) catch the foul, and B) move swiftly to assure everyone that they caught the foul.

2. Hey look! Another walk-off knockout!

It was quickly apparent in the Mitrione-Morecraft fight that Meathead hits quite a bit harder than Christian Morecraft appreciates being hit, and we were surprised to see it make it out of the first.  It was the accumulation of damage, rather than one crushing killshot, that sent Morecraft to the floor, but Mitrione knew his work was done.  Morecraft shying away from the referee like he’d just been tag-teamed by a honey badger and a silverback gorilla hopped up on Cialis only served to reinforce that he was done for the night.  Mitrione was already off shaking hands with Joe Silva and thinking of a joke for his Rogan interview.  Walk-off knockouts:  yep, still awesome.

3. Maybe it’s NOT such a good idea to take fights back to back ….

Saturday, Rick Story was riding an impressive win streak (poised to join the 7 Win Club), coming off a great victory, shooting up the welterweight rankings, and was a chic pick to spoil Nate Marquardt‘s debut at 170.  Sunday night, he’s getting outwrestled by some guy from the prelims.  While the late change in opponents could have been a factor, Story looked to be having some fatigue issues as the fight went on.  Whether he was over-trained or under-gameplanned, Story probably wishes he’d taken a couple months off.  On a related note…

4. It’s time to take a good look at Charlie Brenneman.

And we don’t mean his skinny-puppy physique or those awesomely bad highlighter vale tudo shorts.  Charlie Brenneman is now 14-2 professionally, with losses to John Howard (three years ago) and Johny Hendricks — no shame there.  In the UFC, he’s sent two other fighters home with a pink slip, including his debut victory over Jason High.   On one hand, it seems surreal to even mention Brenneman against guys like GSP, Fitch, or Koscheck; on the other, he deserves more than just returning to the prelims versus TJ Grant.  There’s plenty of fights for him:  Brian Foster (if his brain is ok) or Matt Brown would be appropriate tests for him, but if he wants to make a splash he’ll go after Thiago Alves.  We can’t see him winning that fight, but then again,  dude, did you see what he did to Rick Story?

5. Hey look! Another “back from the dead” win!

Cheick Kongo and Pat Barry brought the artillery for their fight, and they manages to use all of it in just about two and a half minutes.  HD had Kongo reeling all over the Octagon between two knockdowns, and everyone expected ref Dan Mirgliotta to jump in and save Kongo — including Mirgliotta himself. Kongo managed to regain his footing, shaky as it was, and land a right hook and a follow-on uppercut that put Barry directly in touch with his belated great-nana .  It was a scary KO and we were glad to see our boy HD was ok, but holy Scott Smith Batman!  Between his “hay ladies” physique and his concussive knockouts, Kongo reminded all of us why he’s still in the UFC last night.

[RX]