So you think you’re a die-hard MMA fan, just because you buy most of the UFC pay-per-views and because you have a few fruity-ass Georges St. Pierre trading cards in your sock drawer? Let me show you what real obsession is, bro.
A couple of videos came to our attention today, both of them shot by MMA fans whose devotion to cage-fighting has begun to bleed into their surroundings. One is high-budget, one is low-budget, but they’re both — in their own special ways — kind of creepy. (We’ll let you decide which obsessed fan is scarier in the comments section.)
First up, the “Cave of MMAn” featured above, in which a longtime Ultimate Fighting mark shows off what has to be the most elaborate UFC fandom HQ ever built on a private residence. You will see…
- A Star Wars-style text-crawl intro, letting us know that we’re about to enter some serious geek territory.
- A chain-link Octagon, which doubles as an outdoor deck, an Octagon-themed bar (“The Octobar”), and a Octagan-themed coffee table.
- An entry portal that features TapouT decals on glass and a gloved fist punching through the side of the house.
- The phrases “NEVER LEAVE IT IN THE HANDS OF THE JUDGES” and “AS REAL AS IT GETS” stenciled near the ceiling.
- An actual Octagon canvas on the floor, which appears to be the real deal, judging by the visible blood-stains.
- UFC action figures — perhaps every one that’s ever been produced — hanging on the walls, along with framed event posters and other assorted memorabilia, much of it autographed.
- A Brian Ebersole fight playing on the TV. Jesus, this guy really is a hardcore fan.
- An end-credits shout out to “Bonnie, for just letting me do my thing.” #adorbz
Now let’s visit contestant #2…
(Props: Terry WARDIAZ Young)
So yeah, this one’s a little more rustic. You can tell that Terry has less resources than MMAn Cave Guy, but his obsession is far more focused. And his Diaz Fight Barn really covers all the bases. It features…
- The phrase “WAR DIAZ” carved into a spray-painted wooden plank.
- A torn-up speed-bag, and a heavy-bag in pretty good shape.
- Some anti-Dana White fan art.
- Every page of every magazine article ever published about each Diaz brother, taped onto the walls. (“That’s how I fucks with them, homey, you know, all day. Got Nate Diaz givin’ Sirone [sic] a shot fuckin’ rieet in the jah, there, oof. Pretty.”)
- A shout-out to LayzieTheSavage.
- A weight-bench set-up. The narrator immediately declares “fuck that thing.”
So, clearly the first guy wins in terms of quantity/quality of his items, and time spent on his obsession. But answer me this — who would you rather sit next to at a WAR MMA show?