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‘UFC on FX: Guillard vs. Miller’ — Live Results + Commentary

(Is that who we think it is? No wonder Guillard always chose “Thong Song” as his walkout music.) 

Tonight marks the UFC’s fourth biggest debut on a television network, so how appropriate is it that I, CagePotato’s fourth or fifth best writer, would be assigned to such an…assignment? Damn it, I really had something for that. Anyway, both Melvin Guillard and Jim Miller will be looking to rebound from tough losses and reestablish themselves amongst the UFC’s ever-growing 155 lb. division in tonight’s main event. Elsewhere on the card, Pat Barry and Christian Morecraft will likely be fighting for their jobs, and Jorge Rivera is calling it a career regardless of how his battle with Eric Schafer goes. Everyone raise your glass of Dos Equis in his honor.

So whether you’re watching the fights from your local watering hole or the privacy of your two story, five bedroom & three bathroom brownstone in the sky, join me, Jared Jones, as I recap the action round by round starting at 9 p.m. ET/ 6 p.m. PT, all whilst trying to find the perfect balance between Maker’s Mark, Yellow Tail, and Pabst Blue Ribbon. Allow me to preemptively apologize for any grammatical errors, delayed updates, and possibly racist, anti-semitic, or chauvinistic remarks that may or may not find their way onto this liveblog as a result. LETS DO THIS!!!

Undercard Results
-Nick Denis def. Joseph Sandoval via KO (Jordan Mein-esque standing hellbows) 0:22 of round 1
-Daniel Pineda def. Pat Schilling via submission (rear-naked choke) 1:37 of round 1
-Fabricio Camoes def. Tommy Hayden via submission (rear-naked choke) 4:03 of round 1
-Charlie Brenneman def. Daniel Roberts via unanimous decision (30-27 x2, 29-28)
-Habib “The Nurm” Nurmagomedov def. Kamal Shalorus via submission (rear-naked choke) 2:08 of round 3
-Jorge Rivera def. Eric Schafer via TKO (punches) 1:31 of round 2

In case you guys haven’t heard, apparently Sean McCorkle isn’t a fan of our particular brand of comedy. And the man makes a good point, fighter bashing is a cheap, classless form of entertainment. It would be like joking about Brett Rogers beating his kids on a live radio program. Thank God neither of us have ever been involved in something so horrible. But hey, even he must admit that we’re still better than BloodyElbow. SO SUCK ON THAT WORLD.

Anyway, here we go…

Pat Barry vs. Christian Morecraft

Jon Anik says Morecraft will have to be “crafty and more to get past Pat Barry.” Mauro Ronaldo just threw himself into oncoming traffic. Herb Dean is our referee.

Round 1: Morecraft gets ahold of Barry’s leg and takes him down early, then starts working a rear-naked. Barry fights out of it and gets to his feet. Leg kick drops Morecraft momentarily. Nice jab by Barry. Morecraft shoots a single…is that Barry attempting a guillotine?!! Morecraft takes advantage, gets Barry to the mat and mounts him again. Morecraft goes for an armbar AND BARRY DEFENDS IT. Barry just misses a head kick. A looping left hook drops Morecraft, and Barry swarms him. Barry finishes Morecraft off with some brutal ground and pound ala Yvel/Rizzo.

Barry def. Morecraft via KO (punches) at 3:38 round 1

Barry showed some much improved submission defense, but will need to add some takedown defense if he wants to put together a real win streak. And he celebrates by planking on Jon Anik’s foot. Love him or hate him, you can’t deny that Barry is one entertaining SOB. Morecraft looks…rough.

Mike Easton vs. Jared Papazian 

These two are not fans of one another, and are jawing from across the cage. Was that a Haiduken by Easton in the introductions?

Round 1: Both men come out trading like Frye/Takayama, minus the mustache glory. Easton pins Papazian against the cage. Yamasaki breaks it up near the halfway mark. Leg kick by each man. Papazian wings a huge right hook and catches nothing but air. Leg kick by Easton is answered. Left hand counter by Easton. Easton tries a knee from the clinch. Then a spinning back kick that partially lands. Nice leg kick from Easton. Both men trade some knees and punches until the round ends. 10-9 Easton.

Round 2: Papazian lands a few punches including a superman, but Easton walks right through them. Solid left hook from Easton. Both guys are swinging for the fences, but Easton is getting the better, who decides to clinch. Now they are fighting for underhooks against the cage. Now Papazian tries the spinning back kick, and Easton clinches. Easton gets a takedown and into half guard. He momentarily gets side mount, but Papazian is able to stand back up. Knee Easton. Papazian shoots but is reversed and taken down. Another close round, but Easton took it with takedowns.

Round 3: Both men are trading back and forth with bad intentions. Papazian gets the clinch, but Easton reverses again. Mario splits them up. Papazian recovers briefly from a knee to the groin. Jab Papazian. Three punch combo by Easton. These men have some chins, folks. Papazian is coming forward Diaz style, constantly pressuring Easton with punches in bunches. Leg kicks from both fighters. Easton follows a trip with a right hand. Easton gets the Thai plum and throws a couple more knees. Uppercut Papazian. Easton answers with a right and Papazian goes for a double as the bell rings. Great fight.

Mike Easton def. Jared Papazian via majority decision. 

Duane Ludwig vs. Josh Neer

This was my original pick for FOTN, but it’s going to be hard to top Papazian/Easton. They’re using the NFL theme as background music, a sickening reminder that I have to watch Tom Brady yet again come Sunday. I’m not one to wish harm on another person, but I really hope someone spears Brady directly into Bill Belichick, permanently disabling them both in the process.

Round 1: Both men pawing with the jab. Neer clinches after Ludwig catches him coming forward. Nice balance by Ludwig, who throws a knee. Neer lands an overhand right. Ludwig with a knee to the body that momentarily backs up Neer. Ludwig lands a few nice shots, and Neer is just eating them up. Neer grabs a single and manages to get Ludwig down. Neer snags a guillotine in the scramble, and that shit is DEEP. Ludwig goes limp shortly thereafter. Nice win for Neer.

Josh Neer def. Duane Ludwig via submission (guillotine) 3:05 round 1. 

Now they’re previewing the Diaz/Condit fight, calling Diaz “the most enigmatic fighter in the UFC.”A thousand dollars says Diaz can neither spell that word nor knows what it means. Then again, dictionaries are for trick ass punks and punk ass tricks, homie.

Melvin Guillard vs. Jim Miller

Miller comes out to “Bad Moon Rising” by CCR. BOSS.

Round 1: Guillard tries an “explosive” flying knee early. Then another. Guillard catches Miller with a left, and Miller clinches. Guillard throws another knee, then whiffs a head kick. Miller drives him into the fence but can’t get him down. Guillard with a right, then yet another flying knee, but Miller manages to take him down. Miller quickly gets into mount, Guillard tries to stand, and Miller leaps into a rear naked choke. I’ve seen this movie before. Aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnndddd it’s over. Blackzilians are officially 0-2 in the octagon.

Jim Miller def. Melvin Guillard via submission (rear-naked choke) 2:04 of round 1

Chalk up another win for the Gambling Enabler, folks. Well, just like many first times, this liveblog was shockingly quick and mostly pain free. I thank those of you who decided to keep me company on this cold evening, and hope you all have a great weekend. Peace and love, Potato Nation.


Cagepotato Comments

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Mir please break Brocks neck- January 21, 2012 at 7:50 pm
@edhedicus and xenophon - It was HORRIBLE that new pip-squeek calling the fight. Did anyone notice him say "And Arienne looking as good as ever"? What the f**k is that about? What a stoopid thing to say? Are we here for fights or to listen to the new guy make rearks about a 'ring girl'. How pathetic. Also, anyone notice how in 67 minutes on FX we saw 16.5 (literally) minutes of fighting and 51.5 minutes of commercials about buying UFC disc sets and about how much of a prick Nick Diaz is? Where did the fights go? Why are we being advertised to for an hour and there is so little ACTUAL FIGHTING? Network TV is ALL about the $$$ and advertising and so LITTLE about the actual fights. This sucks. I felt like getting a SafeAuto tattoo on my ass-cheek and having Clay Guida fuck me in the ear! "Oops-ie".
XENOPHON- January 21, 2012 at 10:24 am
edhedicus Says: Right on the mark.
I doubt FOX and Zuffa will use Rogan and Goldie for the FX events, but I would even be happier if Helwani and Skippy stepped in.
edhedicus- January 21, 2012 at 10:18 am
To the UFC and FX...... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not let Kenny Florian call another fight until he hits puberty and his balls drop. Those were to two most annoying voices EVER!!!! I would rather have Goldie and Joe overstating everything than listen to two Peter Brady's singing "Time to change".......
Mir please break Brocks neck- January 21, 2012 at 10:14 am
Why didnt Joe Rogan 'call' the Miller/Guillard fight last night? Where was Goldie?
SonOfSerbia- January 21, 2012 at 9:56 am
Guillard deserved to get beat for choosing dubstep as his entrance music. Guillard was waaaay over-rated anyway, the guy has no submission defense
NomadRip- January 21, 2012 at 7:37 am
It was good to see Helwani with a FOX mic on TV. Good for him.
RoJoegan- January 21, 2012 at 5:59 am
@Mir please... You're enjoying the UFC's new "B" team, for smaller cards.
Mir please break Brocks neck- January 21, 2012 at 2:09 am
Hey! Can anyone tell me where Joe Rogan and Golstein were for the Miller/Guillard fight tonight? I was forced to watch that twirp commentate with Kenny. Serious....where are Joe and Goldie? And the FX 'soundtrack' they play suuuuuuuuucks!!!!!!!!!! I feel like Im watching the NFL or fucking golf!?! Whats with the trumpets????? Lastly.... did anyone notice it took FX 67 minutes to get through (2 fights) 17 minutes of UFC fights? If ur bad at math.....that means I fast-forwarded through 50 ( thats FIFTY FUCKING MINUTES) of Bud Light and SafeAuto commercials. THIS TRANSITION TO FX SUCKS SO BAD. WHERE WAS JOE AND GOLDIE!?!?!?! :( The new guy suckkkkkkkkksssssssssssssssss!!!! He looks like Pat Berry's adopted brother who listens to Moby! WTF??? REPLY PLEASE!
twoleftfeet- January 21, 2012 at 12:09 am
Wtf did I just read .....I get it now. Xeno is a retarded monkey with a keyboard.
XENOPHON- January 20, 2012 at 11:27 pm
@RwilsonR Says:
"Sure CP has sucked in different areas, and we all have complaints, but I’d rather come here than listen to a bunch of whiny bitches comparing the dates on their MMA decoder rings."
Ahhh Wilson, I knew you had a soft spot beneath that chink in your amour.
@SethF Says:
"Like true hipsters, their calling card is liking this sport BEFORE it went mainstream."
Listens whipper-snapper. Back then the fights where just as good, less mechanical and cost allot less that what they do today. Matter of fact, the entire fights could be found on the the web for free.
I never signed up for a MMA sight before landing here. I was looking for new, but found the sucked and the crass shit talking king.
The day I logged-in was the sell out date for me. Before that day last year, I rarely talked about MMA to anyone, yet I have watched MMA long before the UFC 1 was stood up.
If you look at if from that perspective, poor_Wilson just admitted he sold out according to his join date for the UG, which was back before the 2001 switchover.
Problem is around here nobody thinks they sold out, everyone thinks they are hardcore, and few get it right the majority of the time.
Karma can't get on a real reality show, CP editors with aliases got their covers blown, I can't spell, Rsparrow can't pay his gambling debts for his love of Cerrone, Danga can't write, Fat_Belly_Frank can't get skinny, Moles can't see without his shades, Armfarmer couldn't hang in DC, McCreadyshack can't retire to a farm and grown pot, and Drano won't ever be able to tea-bag. GRIN
Although punk rock trumps heavy metal, I could go on-and-on, but it's simply called a motely crue. The crew around here is almost as ugly as Kenny Florian.
I think the only one that is good at something is Chris Coleman. Then again, he can't get a better job. BIG GRIN
The only one that got it right is Big_Whiskey. Anything drink is for pussies!
RaginAsian- January 20, 2012 at 11:25 pm
@drano - If by "got lucky" you mean "played to his strengths, yeah he "got lucky".

"This guy's best shot at winning is taking me down and subbing me. What's the best way to counter that... flying knee!"
- Melvin
SethF- January 20, 2012 at 10:13 pm
My thoughts exactly. Like true hipsters, their calling card is liking this sport BEFORE it went mainstream. If they all start judging each other by who stopped watching MMA because "it sold out" the soonest, I won't be the least bit surprised.
RwilsonR- January 20, 2012 at 9:31 pm
@ drano - I don't think he's lucky at all... I think Miller is just one of those tough SOBs who just doesn't have quit in him. But I also think you're right that he isn't ready for a championship fight, and I don't think he ever will be. He is good in most areas, but nothing stands out that will elevate him beyond the very best in the division. He just isn't strong enough in any area to present a huge challenge to the best out there. He'll be he'll on the rest of the contenders, though.
RwilsonR- January 20, 2012 at 9:23 pm
@ Karma - Honestly, the UG is tired out. It used to be a pretty cool place on the dark years of the sport. But I haven't posted there since 2006 (don't even remember my fucking password), since after TUF it just became a little MMA hipster club. They'd all brag about their join dates, and talk shit about new avenues being opened up as the sport expanded because it brought in new fans and ruined their little niche sport. And that was before McCorkle started his little schtick on there. I can't stand the "I'm the more original fan than you" crap. And I haven't even read shit there in probably a year. Reading that shit tonight just reminded me why. All the, "the only good MMA website is the UG" bullshit. Still trying to keep their little cult private. Sure CP has sucked in different areas, and we all have complaints, but I'd rather come here than listen to a bunch of whiny bitches comparing the dates on their MMA decoder rings.
And for the record, my join date for the UG was back before the 2001 switchover, where everyone prior to that had the same date. So they can call me a TUF noob if they want, but it just isn't worth the time of day.
XENOPHON- January 20, 2012 at 9:23 pm
@Drano - who did you pick to win?
@haterade - Kflo needs to go.
@ Seth_F - that was a good article.
@Danga - Rivera needs to go too.
skeletor- January 20, 2012 at 9:09 pm
MRuss's comment to Mcorkle was downright hilarious in it's simplicity.
Papazian V Garcia needs to happen.
KarmaAteMyCat- January 20, 2012 at 8:59 pm
@Danga; I am Cagepotato for life. I also hate when someone can Dish the shit and not take it, it fucking bothers me to no avail.
RoJoegan- January 20, 2012 at 8:42 pm
Agree with the Barry fans above: thank god for the win. Morecrap is shit. I was real worried for Barry with those takedowns/sub attempts. If he lost that fight, I’d have given up all hope. Looks like he's up against Mitrione next.
ReX13- January 20, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Not bad, JDJ, not bad at all. *fist bump*
itsgalf- January 20, 2012 at 8:23 pm
yeah, Melvin needs to not come out to the arena in shades.
DangadaDang- January 20, 2012 at 8:09 pm
Man Karma, you are straight HEATED on the UG right now. If you can book THAT fight in Obscura, NY I will bring a fucking camera crew to document it.
the silver hawaiian- January 20, 2012 at 7:56 pm
So did Neer
the silver hawaiian- January 20, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Miller looked like the 155# Nogueira
doctorman- January 20, 2012 at 7:43 pm
Melvin lost cause he was too busy wearin sunglasses and dyin his hair.
KarmaAteMyCat- January 20, 2012 at 7:43 pm
@ronburgundy; Yes it was great to see Pat win.