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UFC “The Time Is Now” Press Conference Highlights NEVERMIND. MOVE ALONG, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

(That about says it all. via @JeremyBotter)

In a classic example of their Run-Before-You-Can-Walk approach to business, the UFC held a press conference in Las Vegas this afternoon, auspiciously dubbed “The Time is Now.” The promotion had been teasing a quote unquote “huge announcement” for quite awhile in the lead-up to today’s conference, which was held in the legendary Smith Center as if to remind us that, yes, epic shit was about to go down. While the UFC has become nothing if not a river from which hyperbole flows like the mighty Ganges, their decision to name this conference what they did would lead you to believe that a) the event would start on time and b) something big was headed our way.

Of course, to assume either of those things would be to turn a blind eye to everything you’ve learned about MMA this year. So instead, Dana White kicked things off by announcing that Matt Brown vs. Tarec Saffiedine will headline “Fight Night Broomfield” in January, and when asked point blank what the big announcement (aka the reason the press conference was being held) was, said that they “didn’t get it done in time” and that everyone could go home.

Seriously. That’s what happened. No announcement was made, and not one “reporter” in attendance had either the interest or the spine to even press Dana further about what the announcement was supposed to be. Instead, what followed was an hour and half of awkward silences, occasionally punctuated by the MMA media’s usual brand of fluff and fan questions that made the MMA media’s fluff seem thought-out and insightful by contrast. It was the most MMA thing ever, basically, and a bright, blaring warning sign of what’s to come in 2015.

Ah yes, 2015. The UFC did happen to announce their complete 2015 schedule before wasting everyone’s time with a standard pre-fight press conference, which you can check out above. The UFC plans to hold 45 events in 2015, comprised of 13 PPV’s, 4 FOX events, 18 FS1 events, and 10 Fight Pass events. Potential (potential!) areas of expansion include Poland, Holland, and…

…you know what, fuck this. The UFC literally just held an announcement to tell us that they didn’t get the announcement done in time. Then they released a schedule of a bunch of TBD events and talked about where they’d “like to go” in 2015. They invited us all over for Thanksgiving and forgot to cook a turkey, basically, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste anymore of my or your time on their measly side dishes (#relevant). Because we may be a mid-level MMA blog run by a bunch of cynical, anti-UFC h8ers, but even we care more about your time than the organization currently running shit.

If Ben asks, tell him I had a date and couldn’t get this article “done in time.” I don’t care if he doesn’t believe you.

-J. Jones

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