(Shhh…go to sleep.  Gif thanks to Smoogy on the UG.)

Dave Kaplan is officially the luckiest son of a bitch on last night’s Ultimate Finale card.  For getting his ass handed to him by Junie Browning in the evening’s first televised bout he received a $25,000 bonus for “Fight of the Night,” as did Browning. 

Not that it was a bad fight by any means, but neither was it exhilarating or even all that competitive, unless Dana White is really that impressed by a guy willing to keep trying the same straight foot lock that only works on BJJ blue belts and Tim Sylvia.  If you ask me (and you kind of did, by virtue of coming to this website and reading this far, sucker), White wanted to reward Browning for showing up and appearing to have his shit together, and Kaplan’s pockets got fatter just by being in the way.  As long as the check clears, “Diamond” Dave can’t complain.

The Knockout of the Night bonus obviously went to Anthony “Rumble” Johnson for putting his shin across Kevin Burns’ jaw and reminding us all that sleep truly is the cousin of death.

Krzysztof Soszynski (K-Sos to the Potato Nation) pocketed 25 grand for Submission of the Night after wrenching Shane Primm’s shoulder all out of shape.

Full disclosed payouts and analysis of said payouts from last night’s event are after the jump.  Won’t you join us?

Figures courtesy of MMA Junkie:

Efrain Escudero: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
Phillipe Nover: $8,000

Ryan Bader: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
Vinny Magalhaes: $8,000

Wilson Gouveia: $36,800 (includes $18,400 win bonus)
Jason MacDonald: $35,200 (includes $9,200 of Gouveia’s purse)

Anthony Johnson: $43,000 (includes $9,000 win bonus and $25,000 KO of the Night bonus)
Kevin Burns: $7,000

Junie Browning: $41,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus and $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
Dave Kaplan: $33,000 (includes $25,000 Fight of the Night bonus)

Krzysztof Soszynski: $41,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus and $25,000 Submission of the Night bonus)
Shane Primm: $8,000

Eliot Marshall: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
Jules Bruchez: $8,000

Shane Nelson: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
George Roop: $8,000

Tom Lawlor: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
Kyle Kingsbury: $8,000

Roli Delgado: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
John Polakowski: $8,000

Total: $289,000

Overpaid: No one, really, since the show and win money was the same for all the TUF guys across the board.  We’ve already mentioned Kaplan’s good fortune, but that’s just the way it works sometimes.  Gouveia’s decision to miss weight was a costly one and MacDonald profited, but you can’t blame anyone but Gouveia for that.

Underpaid: Anthony Johnson.  How does a guy in his fifth fight with the UFC make nine and nine, while reality show “stars” like Jules Bruchez and Shane Primm make eight and eight?  That’s a sad state of affairs right there.  I could also point out that Kevin Burns made less than even the TUF losers to get his jaw jacked, but I won’t.

P.S. In case you’re curious, Roli Delgado finished Huggin’ John Polakowski via second-round guillotine choke, while Tom Lawlor and Shane Nelson both notched decisions.