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The Ultimate Fighter 9.12 Recap: No Spoilers, You Crybabies

(Click above for the completed TUF 9 welterweight bracket. Props: Wikipedia.)

With the last welterweight semifinal coming up, Team U.S. comes together for one last barbecue. Frank Lester gets all swoony over Dan Henderson, telling Hendo "your eyes don’t look bad at all" and "I wouldn’t fuck with you because of your ears." This is what six weeks without women will do to a man.

Damarques Johnson does his best to build up Lester’s confidence for his fight against James Wilks. He says James can’t absorb as much damage as Frank and be okay with it. We never really got to see why Damarques hates James so much, but Damarques tells us that "James is just such a pompous prick, and I want Frank to hurt him badly." He also refers to James as a "pretty boy." Seriously. This James Wilks. I think it’s safe to say that Damarques has a different standard of beauty than the rest of us. Just another example of how the absence of females can distort your perceptions.

Observing that the standup exchanges in their first fight were fairly even, Michael Bisping wants James to take Frank down and finish him there. Hendo wants straighter punches from Frank — no more wild loopers — and more of them.

James checks out pictures of Frank’s little daughter and says "she’s cute." If he had said that to Damarques, he’d probably wake up with teeth missing. But apparently James and Frank are bros now. They sign shirts for each other, and cut weight together in the sauna. Frank opens up about how he always fights with rage unless he knows and likes his opponent, which actually makes him settle down and fight better. Despite Frank’s confidence and clear head, James calmly predicts a first-round stoppage victory.

For Team U.K.’s final team dinner, Dean Amasinger makes his famous curry chicken. Proud of his guys, Bisping gets a little emotional and tells them "You’re all my mates now as well." Wilks punks Bisping with a bar trick to the great amusement of the Brits. After the coaches leave, Andre Winner starts spitting food, then tosses a handful of curry at Dean’s face. Dean, who slaved over the meal all day, is not happy. He chases Andre down and tosses him into the pool. As he’s climbing out, Andre gets antiqued hardcore by Dave.

Frank starts crying in his bunk the night before the fight. Damarques is there once again to soothe his nerves: "You were put here to fight James tomorrow…there’s nothing to be scared of, just fuckin’ embrace it." Lester says he’s not scared, he just doesn’t want to let anybody down. Damarques says "Dude, trust me, you’ve represented yourself, you’ve represented your family, you’ve represented the U.S. well, the entire time you’ve been here. Win, lose, or draw tomorrow, Frank, dude, you’re gonna be a fuckin’ rockstar."

And it’s fight time. U.K. coach Dave Jackson tells James Wilks "Don’t let him back in the house," and Bisping has to explain to him that it’s the last day. "You know what I mean," Jackson says.

Round 1: James opens with a leg kick and a stiff left hand, before kicking Frank in the nuts. "Perfect!" shouts Bisping. When the action is restarted, Frank lands a leg kick, but James returns with a leg kick and a body kick. He lands a nice punch combo then backs off. Frank gets in a leg kick. Bisping says "no!" to the flying knee that James thinks about throwing. James lands a leg kick and a jab, but Frank gives them right back. They trade hard punches. James bulls Frank into the cage but can’t take him down. After some dirty boxing, Frank lands a few heavy shots, and James clinches to stop the damage. James tries again for the takedown, but fails again. Frank gets in some shots in the clinch. James stricks the jab and Frank throws his famous wild haymakers to close the round, hitting nothing. Both coaches tell their guys that they won that round.

Round 2: Lester kicks James straight in the balls, evening the low blow score. James flicks a kick to Frank’s face. Frank lands a left and James smiles. Finding his range, James gets in a left that staggers Frank. He dodges Frank’s shots, smiles some more, and does a few wide, mocking hooks. (Hey, I thought you guys were supposed to be BFFs.) James lands a push kick then an uppercut. James shoots, Frank stuffs. James gets in some punches in the clinch, and Frank is bloodied. They separate and trade shots, and James begins to land his jab at will. Hendo says "you go first, Frank" for the hundredth time. James lands another Tae Kwon Do-style roundhouse to Frank’s face, then lands a group of punches before Frank shoots in and tries for the takedown. Wilks defends it, then grabs a Thai clinch and starts throwing knees. They separate and trade punches to the bell. After a close first round, this one was all James Wilks.

Round 3: Frank is gassed. Despite Hendo’s desperate orders for Frank to "go first," James goes first with a leg kick and a jab. Frank throws a slow-motion leg kick, and James returns with a teep, leg kick, big right hand, and a knee in the clinch. Wilks tries to take Frank down but can’t. They trade shots. Wilks lands another knee in a Thai clinch, and another on the fence. One more knee drops Frank. He gets up, but James fires the knees until Frank drops for the second time and Herb Dean calls it off. The last knee (or two) landed while Lester was down, but he was already out, and nobody feels like protesting it.

Mark Miller thinks James’s hotdogging was "gay." Damarques vows to "take that Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt and shove it up his ass" during this Saturday’s finale.

Hendo chalks up Frank’s loss to him being worn out coming into the fight. "Too many wars in a short period of time." Dana applauds Lester as "without a fuckin doubt, one of the toughest son of a bitches I’ve ever met." It’s no consolation to Frank, who takes the loss very hard and feels like he let down his team and family. "Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, I’m drained, man," he says.

Bisping gloats about the 3-1 score in the U.K.’s favor heading into the finals. But Damarques ain’t skurred. He just wants to go in and destroy James Wilks: "His mannerisms, his fuckin’ face just tugs on my lifecord and makes me want to hurt something."

Hendo on Bisping: "For lack of a better word, he’s just a douchebag."

Bisping on Hendo: "I’m gonna destroy the guy. This is my time now. I think Dan Henderson’s had his time, to be honest, and I think he might be underestimating me."

Dana White on the lesson of the season: "This is gonna be the biggest sport in the world in the next ten years."

Cagepotato Comments

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Clue-by-Four- June 18, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Frank's greatest asset right now is the ability to absorb a lot of punishment without giving in. This will not make for a great career. Get some other skills soon Frank before you start forgetting your name and have to eat all your meals after they first spend time in a blender.
Shatski- June 18, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Well, yeah, most people know better. Hell, I got on here earlier and saw the TUF bracket and thought, "Oh, shit, I forgot what day it was." Then I went and watched it. I had seen the result already on the article above reading about Lester fighting at the finale but not as a finalist, but that was my mistake for coming here and my eyes for doing the quick scan on the wrong line. Stupid eyes!

On the other hand, I don't see any reason to get bent out of shape about what some other dude posts that is just some whining. It's that whole, "Give a mouse a cookie..." thing. He complained and the results were taken out of the title, but now it's something else to complain about. I honestly would not have watched the Sylvia knockout if they headline didn't state the result and it's possible that a number of other CP readers wouldn't have either. But, getting pissed is about as futile as his complaining. He's going to complain about something regardless. Just breeze by his comments when you see the name. If he gets bad enough about it, I'm sure CP will make a COOL out of him and block him. No one wants their site filled with complaints, as entitled to them as people are, and other useless crap. I skipped over HAL's stuff for a long time, but now I don't because sometimes it's funny to me.
Dmonicideals- June 18, 2009 at 5:17 pm
They may be cry-babies, but you guys are bitches for acquiescing to their demands.

Welcome to the kinder-gentler CagePotato. Maybe you guys should rename it CageMashedPotato, before Tim Sylvia sues you guys for mocking him.
UFC fan- June 18, 2009 at 4:17 pm
he wont take advice shatski, all he knows how to do is bitch like a woman on the rag. EVERYONE knows not to come here if they havent seen a fight or something...everyone but him. Even Ben took time to point out armfarmer was a stupid dick (not in enough words) and armfaggot still doesn't see he was wrong so try to ignore him, he is a 20-something year old childish fuck who doesn't work, he spends his days looking at websites.....maybe he will get fired and have to do some REAL work for a change.
Shatski- June 18, 2009 at 3:52 pm
The point of a headline is to be attention grabbing. That's just journalism. Being really vague isn't very effective. I mean, how many people care what Tim Sylvia does these days? So saying in the headline that he gets knocked out would attention to more people than not saying it. It could have said "Sylvia/Mercer fight ends in shocking KO" or something, but wouldn't it have sucked to watch it and see that Fat Bastard impersonator win? I've seen the suggestion to avoid the site until watching the show and that's about the best advice so far.
UFC fan- June 18, 2009 at 2:47 pm
ArmFarmer Says:
Thu, 06/18/2009 - 10:35

Don't mean to bitch and moan.. well alright yes I do.. you guys put spoilers in the title of the last fight vids you posted. I would have enjoyed Tim Sylvias 9 second KO loss a lot more if I didn't already know exactly what was going to happen. Just sayin.. I could have laughed histarically at Tim falling like a tree at 9 seconds, instead of only slightly smiling."

Good to see you are still as big a douchebag fucking faggot retard as always armfarmer.
So glad that the Ben's called you a crybaby in the title, but even that didnt change the fact that you are goddamn loser.
831 Son- June 18, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Its annoying and retarded. You can shut the fuck up fool.
ArmFarmer- June 18, 2009 at 11:46 am
Shut the fuck up son.
831 Son- June 18, 2009 at 11:17 am
Stop crying about spoilers.
Peppermint Nightmare- June 18, 2009 at 10:53 am
Demarques is a shit-talking douchebag. Wilkes never once even mentioned Demarques' stupid ass name, but everytime a camera is pointed at Demarques he's bitching about Wilkes.
The only thing more pathetic than a petty, childish rivalry is being the only person actually involved in the petty, childish rivalry while the other person just goes about their business without giving you a second thought.

I detected an ever-so-slight passive-aggressive bias in this article, like maybe a little bitterness towards Team UK/Wilkes/Bisping.
ArmFarmer- June 18, 2009 at 10:35 am
Don't mean to bitch and moan.. well alright yes I do.. you guys put spoilers in the title of the last fight vids you posted. I would have enjoyed Tim Sylvias 9 second KO loss a lot more if I didn't already know exactly what was going to happen. Just sayin.. I could have laughed histarically at Tim falling like a tree at 9 seconds, instead of only slightly smiling.
Fedor vs. Bas- June 18, 2009 at 8:56 am
I just want to say this season was great. No real antics or anyone being an asshole just for TV time. Other than the first two weeks, were there even any pranks? Really classy group of guys, other than Peirce the modern day Benedict Arnold.
lilgary- June 18, 2009 at 8:54 am
Agreed about Frank-homey needs a lot of work. His fights are hard to watch because he justs get beat up for 3 rounds. I really hope that Bisping gets his face beat in and shown for what he is-an overhyped fighter who has not fought anyone because the UFC needed him to expand into the British market. He is lucky there are not any other marketable British fighters because he became the golden boy by default.
One Two- June 18, 2009 at 8:15 am
Hendo FTW best line of the season laughed my ass off.
FreddyFangers- June 18, 2009 at 8:07 am
I dont see him getting a contract unless he has improved considerably since the Wilks fight. And yea, he was "beat the hell up" because he was one of the least talented fighters in the house. No one is questioning his heart, but those slow, wild overhand rights with no sign of defense will get you Liddell'd in the UFC pretty quick. Go serve some soup and samiches and think about more cute little sayings to add to your next post..
Soup Sandwich Server- June 18, 2009 at 7:59 am
Frank is a terrible fighter??? dude, you probably haven't been in a fight in like 4 years... this Frank kid just fought 4 fights in 34 days, & none of them were against some fat ass drunken portuguese father of 6 pushing 50 at local sports bar... Frankie was fuckin beat the hell up, black eye'd & toothless looking like the mini-me for Hendo going into that semi, you couldn't show more heart even if you were having a triple bi-pass surgery brotha!

He'll get a contract for sure & more pussy than the humain society, while you will still be slicing pickles at Burger King while "keeping it real" before going home to beat off to info-mercials in your mom's basement.

Canadian Chronic- June 18, 2009 at 7:45 am
Hendo on Bisping: "For lack of a better word, he's just a douchebag."

Truer words have never been spoken.

Go Demarques, kill that limey wanker
common sense- June 18, 2009 at 7:42 am
i like the recaps, sometimes they point out things i miss during the episode. also i think some countries dont have spike tv.
MyFightWiffaCheeto- June 18, 2009 at 7:30 am
@ Dapper...

Spike is running an all day marathon til the finale. Starting at 9 am. So you can see how Frank got into the house by accident, then got his teeth knocked out, outlasted but not outclassed Faulkner, then got dropped again by that fake Limey bitch Wilks.

I can't wait for Demarques to smash that dude.

Oh and for Diego Sanchez to smash that walking Geico commercial.
Just A Wrestler- June 18, 2009 at 7:20 am
demarques says manuerisms, not mannerisms. which is a mannerism that i wasn't too fond of. i also thought he was gonna attack James when they were in the cage together, he was so pumped
Fucklord- June 18, 2009 at 7:08 am
Frank Lester is an absolutely terrible fighter
Ankalagon- June 18, 2009 at 7:06 am
I am not sure I get the point of those posts about TUF. We have pretty much all seen the episode so recounting it minute by minute does not really do much.
Sorry but I am used to a bit more insightful thoughts from this web site.
Art Gibs- June 18, 2009 at 7:03 am
Jesus, CP, can you please just put the results in the headline? You're really going to make me read the whole damn article? Joking.

Thanks for responding to the feedback.
PHELPS- June 18, 2009 at 6:50 am
Yeah Frank stinks. He got in on technicalities. Now I don't think much of Wilks, because it took 3 rounds to put him away.
FreddyFangers- June 18, 2009 at 6:46 am
AGREED, but it was great watching him battle. "You go first!"