The Ultimate Fighter 9.4 Recap: "1, 2, 3, F**k 'Em!"
TUF 9.4: Nick Osipczak KOs Mark Miller - Watch more Funny Videos
(Nick Osipczak puts Team U.K. on the board with his head-kick knockout of Mark Miller. Cheerio, bitches.)
In the battle of personal property defacement, Team U.S. is routing the Brits by a score of 2-0 — if only they could be that dominant in the Octagon. Last night's episode of TUF 9 featured the show's first quarterfinal match, with well-rounded beanpole Nick Osipczak drawing first blood for Team U.K., thanks to a highlight-reel knockout of the much scarier-looking Mark Miller.
The episode opened with the coaches introducing us to their assistants. Michael Bisping has flown in his own trainers at Wolfslair — Mario "Sucata" Neto (wrestling/submissions) and Dave Jackson (striking) — who will now be acting as his helpers. Dan Henderson is rolling a little deeper with Heath Sims (wrestling), Cyrille Diabate (Muay Thai), Ricardo Feliciano (jiu-jitsu), and Gustavo Pugliese (boxing).
Team U.S. is at a disadvantage because they just had to go through their elimination fights; Team U.K.'s took place two weeks prior. Hendo chooses the relatively unscathed welterweight Mark Miller to represent the Americans first against Nick Osipczak, who didn't look like much in his elimination match against Tommy Maguire. "One to us," Bisping says of the pick.
Bisping and his coaches watch tape of Miller's fight with Kevin Knabjian and pick apart the American's weaknesses: He predictably throws sets of three jabs, drops his hands when he kicks, backs off when pressured, has a suspect chin, never throws knees, and generally seems like a one-dimensional striker. Bisping tries to mimic Miller's style in a sparring session with Nick. We learn that Nick. was one of Bisping's southpaw training partners for his fight against Chris Leben. But Nick is ambidextrous and decides he'll switch to orthodox stance for the Miller fight, because he fought lefty against Maguire.
By contrast, Miller doesn't formulate much of a game-plan. (In a moment that will haunt all of them later, Diabate tells Miller that Osipczak isn't much of a kicker.) Still, Dana White predicts that Miller will win the match, and Jason Pierce calls Miller "the toughest guy on our team by far." Another thing about Miller: His nickname is "Meat Missle." Basically, he was having breakfast with his grandmother, she asked what his fight nickname was, and he told her "the meat missile" as a joke. (Ed. note: You're gonna say that shit to your grandma, bro? Gross.) The name stuck.
So, the pranks begin. Items left in common areas are fair game, though the guys are still sticking to the "no bodily fluids" rule. Demarques Johnson finds Dave Faulkner's Team UK shirt, writes a tally on it ("Team USA: 1, Team UK: 0") and leaves a ransom note on the front door. Haw haw, big laffs. Later, Ross Pearson's wrestling shoes are nicked, and an updated tally is written on them, along with limey-specific taunts like "cheerio, bitches."
Ross is pissed, demanding to know "who wrote on me boots." The prank aggravates Bisping, who advises his team to rise above the childish bullshit. "Too much spotted dick for Bisping," Frank Lester says, in the most annoying fake British accent ever.
But wait: There's a late change to Nick's gameplan. After doing further research on YouTube, Bisping and Jackson say that Nick's best bet is to take Miller down because he's got no ground game.
It's fight time. In an eerie, kind of depressing moment, we see Charles "Mask" Lewis finding a seat in the background.
Round 1: Osipczak goes for the takedown right away after a clinch, and gets on top, in Miller's guard. Miller goes for armlock, but loses it. Osipczak moves to half-guard, but Miller slips out when Osipczak tries to trainsition to mount. Miller gets up, then scrambles back into Osipczak's guard. Osipczak reverses, they get up and exchange knees in a clinch. Miller lands some punches, and throws Osipczak to the mat, but Osipczak finds his way on top. Miller gets up and Osipczak lands some punches, then a knee in the clinch. Then it's Miller's turn to land some heavy blows, and Osipczak shoots to stop the abuse, taking Miller to the ground. After some weak GNP, Miller kicks him off and Osipczak grabs a guillotine and falls backward with it. Miller goes to tap, Herb Dean doesn't see it, Miller thinks better of it. Miller lands an elbow and some punches from the top. Osipczak slips out, upkicks Miller, and scores a takedown at bell.
Round 2: Both fighters look worn out. Bisping yells at Osipczak to keep his hands up, as Miller lands punches and a knee. Osipczak gets a takedown, but Miller has his neck in a guillotine attempts. Osipczak slips out and fires some knees into Miller's ribs. Miller tries the choke again, Osipczak slips out again and gets mount, but Miller tenaciously pursues the guillotine. Osipczak lands some punches to Miller's body. Miller rolls him, losing the choke, and spends some time laying on top. Miller sneaks in elbows from the bottom and tries for a triangle choke. After a few more elbows from Osipczak, Herb stands 'em up for the last minute of the fight. And Osipczak immediately shuts down Miller with a head-kick knockout.
"Look low, kick high, oldest trick in the book," Osipczak says afterwards. Miller barfs into a bucket. Solid episode.
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Comments
Geerad Says:
Nice headkick... glad those egomaniacal Americans lost.
Anonymousbrit Says:
yeah bitches
Darwin Says:
Brit was the more well rounded fighter, grats to him. I'm sure Lawson and the foot-lock-wizard will do well in their fights as well, assuming foot-lock-wizard doesn't crack :o
klymbo Says:
go brits
small letters bob Says:
wow, you Americans act like a bunch of friggin idiots. No wonder the great USA is seen as a joke around the world.
These guys are given a once in a lifetime opportunity and they act like a bunch of fools.
Go UK!!
PingPong Says:
hey bob
you really can't judge our country by it's reality television stars
the_millz Says:
Your right last night the UK took it to the USA and watching the episodes they look to be hungrier in every aspect. I am American but do not mind cheering for the Brits when they are outworking the Americans and not being a**holes at the house. Bisping wears me out but that is part of the fight game for some... That is just what I see on the show. Who knows what the reality of the house is? I haven't been there. Lets see if this woke up the Americans!!!
Jay Says:
Solid ep for sure. The Brits just look so much more focused on all aspects. Hendo looks like his suffering from Post-traumatic stress disorder or something sometimes I look at the guy and I'm thinking no one is home.
Anonymous Says:
Not trolling, but is this season compelling and interesting TV/fighting? By force of habit, I usually don't tune into TUF thanks to the past few seasons (Except for the finals, of course)
Red, white and blue Says:
Do you red coats wanna have another war?!?!?
Anonymous Says:
@Red, white and blue: The battle of the internet posters?
i told you brits are coming Says:
when i watched episode 3 they all sat down and said lets just respect everyones stuff i got the impresion that the yanks were ok apart from browning but the same american that said that is acting like a fucking nob rash and his bot boy carnt wait to c there face when they see there team mate get battered. UK 1 USA 0 CAN YA FEEL IT HA CAN YA FEEL IT WERE NOT IMPRESED BY YR PERFORMANCE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA am just bustin yr balls
SteveXtreme Says:
I didn't mean to post twice Ben, I just thought it was an interesting comment from that video.
i told you brits are coming Says:
thats if you wanna end up like those fucks in boston.
Shanky Says:
I caught the Mask sighting too...so weird to see someone who died between the taping and airing of an episode.
Trixxi Says:
That Demarques kid is really starting to wear on me. It seems that he's the leader of the USA team rather than Henderson, but all he can do is talk. Sure, his first fight looked quite devastating, but it was an extremely late stoppage.
I am personally looking forward to seeing someone "smash his face in" (to quote Ross Pointon, season 3).
"G" Funk Says:
"Hendo chooses the relatively unscathed welterweight Mark Miller to represent the Americans first "
WTF?!?! Didn't Mark Miller just go through a war and almost get KO'd by his training partner 4 days earlier? He didnt go out but that hit he took must have left him a lil concust!! There were other guys that took way less damage...
Hendo is proving that he IS the retard inbred bumbkin boy that he looks!
videodrome NOW Says:
i live in salt lake and have trained with and know Demarques Johnson. He's a lot cooler in person if you know him, but he has been kind of a wank on the show. He is team US best fighter for sure, but we'll see how it goes down. By the way, how can anyone not love Bisping? He's the fuckin man. He's been my favorite fighter since season 3 started. Huge egos tend to always get the better of people, it would seem.
Whiskybiatch Says:
That has to be the slowest headkick in UFC history.
Truth2Pwr Says:
Must be the adrenaline dump. Both those guys looked gassed after one round. Neither one of them had a ground game at all. For a guy with alleged heavy hands, Miller's flush chin shots couldn't take the dude out. Very unimpressive even by week one TUF standards.
Patrick Says:
Bisping is a great coach and a cool fuckin' guy.
I hope team UK sweeps this shit and totally shuts down (and shuts up) these cocky American douchetards...except Jason Dent, he's cool.
Frank Lester and Demarques Johnson are completely intolerable.
I am American, by the way.
Whiskybiatch Says:
Also, Mark Miller demonstrates the new technique of ground'n'be pounded.
google Says:
guys,
Just saw the flyer for the auburn fight night with the guy with no arms and legs, guess who is on front center big as shit? Junie Browning. Didn't say he was fighting, just said special guest: MMA Bad boy Junie Browning. They had a pic in the left of Kyle Maynard. I guess the freak show in now complete. Maybe Junie is fighting the guy so he can Finally get a win.
did u know Says:
hendo has two english grandparents
CAPS LOCK HAL Says:
Good show. The two guys did look gassed, but that's no reason to drop one's hands. Maybe Miller's fakeout did work, and that's why US dropped his hands for a second, but hey, at least he drove this lesson home. Some lessons you learn in the gym, some you learn in the cage...
rickfurious Says:
Caps are you really saying something interesting this time man who would have thunk it...
caps lock lah Says:
Forgot to lock your caps that time douche....
You guys realize that Hendo is gonna smash Bisping right?
The best thing that ever came out of England was some asshole who decided to drive a limo drunk while transporting "royalty". Cheerio, bitches.
Anonymous Says:
I admit that I'm coming to the cagepotato more often just to read the comments and see everyone pull CAP LOCKS HAL's train.. oops, slip, I meant pull his chain.
lower case hal. Says:
did you guys see kid yamamoto
Craig O Says:
I enjoy watching Bisping show WHAT DICK he is.....
now that's how a real coach should act, i'm waiting for Bisping to pull out the ole' "SCOREBOARD" chant any episode now, any day.
It's like his brain stayed back in 6th grade and his body moved on, sad.
SpaceAlias Says:
Its sad that the Brits are winning me over by being down to earth hard workers without the cocky (or should I say Cockney) attitude. I like DeMarques Johnson and think he will be a show in his fights, but he is focusing to much on his camera persona. Dan Henderson made a huge mistake to put a marginal striker and his shortest guy against their tallest guy. I think Ritchie would have won that fight had he been chosen.
The fact that we won the Revolutionary War has nothing to do with 21st century MMA fighters. The Brits and Bisping look more strategic and focused. I have a bad feeling the Americans are going to continue to embarress us throughout the season and then to ice the cake Bisping is going to beat up on Hendo.
Bubbaduncan Says:
Anyone notice Kid Yammamoto sitting next to Dana?
caps lock lah yr mum fucking stinks of beef N licks windows Says:
so funny takin piss outa the death of a princess you maggot dick bastard just shows how bitter you are that yr boy got ktfo hahahahaha your just like the yank fags on tuf talk shit get bit
hit ya wi some knowledge Says:
And cockneys are londeners and britain is england wales southern ireland and scotland just so you know and Bisping is a northerner like me.
caps lock lah Says:
Go move back to wankville with your dad. I'm glad the uk won something......they sure as hell haven't won any wars without any american help. You cocksuckers would be speaking german without americans, choke on that ya fuckin puss bag.
Mantooth Says:
I am American but I like the Brits, at least on this show. The American, or these Americans are not a good representation of our country. Damn why do we act like idiots when we have a camera in front of us?
caps lock lah Says:
And brush your teeth for fuck sakes. Cavemen had better dental hygiene
caps lock lah Says:
@mantooth-That is as unAmerican a statement as I have ever heard.
I'd take a thousand Junie Brownings over any of these Wank Brit posers.
Anonymous Says:
I'm a fan of team UK but I'm American. I was at UFC 97 in the nose bleeds and I was wearing a British soccer jacket. Some extremely bright chick asked me if I was a coach for the UK team. I said "yah im a coach on the ultimate fighter and I have to sit in the nose bleeds with you." And then during Kongo vs. Hardonk she and her BF asked if Kongo was the main event.
caps lock lah Says:
@Anonymous-Tell another lie, we'll believe you....If you're gonna tell one, tell us that you had sex with Jessica Alba or that your brother went to school with Jessica Simpson and he has carnal knowledge of her. What a fuckin dweeb.
Theslothman Says:
The reason the brits will win is that Americans have already filled up umpteen seasons worth of this crap. Dana stacked the deck here so he'd have some marketable fighters for his lucrative British promotions. you really think any of these hacks could make it in even regional shows in the states? Foot lock guy would get destroyed in any small show coast to coast!
CAPS LOCK HAL Says:
ILL ADMIT IT....I DO CAPS LOCK FOR DICKS
did a brit shag yr mums ass piece? call springer on 55598577 Says:
no dickless you speak our language and you only joined the war when we had z germans on thier backs you fucking toss peice what about viet nam when you got assholed by a bunch of peasants lol you fucking penis.Do you no that britain is as big as california and massive americas only join the war because you was shiting yr pants because you were next.You speak our fucking language we started off yr delta force by training yr soldiers. We fight and die in afghan and iraq for yr phoney fuckin cause we wrote yr national anthem we taught you how to take a shit yr women are gagging to fuck us how long you got dick head. British people are real most yanks are fake ass look at me i am so cool go get yr teeth whitened again you lady boy and dont forget yr face mask.Be a man come to england with yr bad teeth jokes and you wont hav to worry about buying toothpaste again tell yr fat mum to get them jenny warts sorted out too the fat ransid bastard you might wanna watch that clip again that brit poser just kod yr man spaztic
caps lock lah Says:
What's this WE shit? did you fight any of those fuckin wars you loser fag wank piece of shit? Get the spotted dick out of your mouth and speak real english instead of like you're texting your goddamn 12 yr old boyfriend to come over and toss your british salad.
Our women are gagging to fuck you?
They're gagging because you're trying to fuck them, correct. +1 for you. The thought of putting their tongue in a brits mouth with more butter on their teeth than a fuckin Country Crock factory is sickening, can you blame them?
I'll come to england and say all the bad teeth and fuck the queen jokes I want to and there's not a goddamn thing your pussy ass will do about it other than start crying when I knock your "mum" up and give you a baby brother.
Leave the MMA to the real men and stick to your fucking kiddie porn and "football".
Oh, and Manchester United sucks. Fuck them too. +1000
Nak Muay Says:
Don't understand how anyone can think Bisping is a "cool guy". Dude is an ubelievable douchebag.
2 Things Says:
1. Why did Hendo pick Miller to fight with the short layoff for the US when he had probably the toughest battle to get into the house?
2. Back to Miller, I'm calling bullshit on the "meat missle" nickname coming out of a fun breakfast with grandma, more likely it originated by him trying to "impress" some broad he was trying to fuck by lying to her about his sexual and combative prowess.
Half Amazing Says:
I'm really surprised that more people aren't talking about the fact that Kid Yamamoto was sitting next Dana. Hopefully this is a sign that he's finally going to come to America and fight Urijah.
weatherman2012 Says:
defending my man Cap Lock Ah:
didnt americans win the war in 1776?
SIT DOWNNNNNNNN
england cant do shit in the world without america taking the first step and then you bitches follow like pansies.
SIT DOWNNNNNNNN
FTL = England
bad food, bad weather, bad everything.
weatherman2012 Says:
england is next in line in being homos like the french.
caps lock lah Says:
@2 Things- agreed on the meat missle nickname. Definately a "self given" nickname while he's trying to nail some chick.
@weatherman- Thanks pal.