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Understatement of the Day: Junior Dos Santos Says He Used “The Wrong Strategy” Against Cain Velasquez


(“Don’t worry, Junior! I can see him growing weaker with every punch! Three more rounds of this and he’ll be all yours!” / Photo via Getty Images)

We hate to even say this because he’s such a nice guy and all, but the beating Junior Dos Santos took at UFC 155 may have been the most deflating, one-sided ass-kicking in the history of UFC heavyweight title fights (other than the time that senior citizen beat the tar out Fatty McGoo, of course) and is being labeled as such by many MMA pundits out there. As one of you pointed out in our salary recap, Junior’s face mirrored one of those faces of meth posters over the course of the five round affair, yet the sumbitch still posed for photos afterwards.

As you can probably tell by now, my New Year’s resolution was to use more hyperlinks. SUCK IT, TOUCH PHONE USERS!

Aaanyway, Junior couldn’t even make it to the hospital before he was bombarded by SporTV, who thought the best time to ask a professional fighter strategy-based questions was while he was determining how much blood he had lost just hours earlier. You know, kind of like how CNN often waits until a soldier in Iraq steps on a landmine to drill him on the ins and outs of The Pincer Movement. Junior’s broken English response was as you would expect:

It (he) was better and deserved to win, but I used the wrong strategy. I was very worried about his entry in my legs and left face unprotected. So he hit me. When I was on the floor, I should have used more jiu-jitsu, I trained so much. But I tried to (get) back up, and it hurt me too, but on the ground it (he) is very good, very strong. I did not connect any punches good, even. It was bad because I was feeling very well, did a great training camp, everything was just right. But the fight is (over) anyway.

Ahh, the modern marvel that is Google Translate. If you were to read that statement on its own, it would sound like the woeful tale of Monica Belluci’s character in Irreversible, but thanks to fabulous, space age technology, the man labeled as simply “Gypsy” was able to offer such eloquent expressions as “I had no fracture, I’m just bloated. ’m Beautiful?”

Yes Junior, you are beautiful, no matter what they say. And words can’t bring you down, oh, no. So we won’t bring you down today.

Unfortunately for Junior, the words of Dana White might bring him down a notch or two, as The Baldfather stated in the aftermath of UFC 155 that the Dos Santos/Velasquez rubber match, although intriguing, will not be happening in the foreseeable future:

I think trilogies are always awesome, especially when both these fights went the way that they did. I mean, I want to see the third fight. It will be interesting.

But this isn’t like losing a regular fight. He got beat up pretty bad. It usually takes a little longer to recover from what he went through.

Honestly, it’s hard to disagree with White here. Velasquez was the victim of a one-shot KO in the pair’s first meeting — one that came after a ridiculous slew of injuries — and he still had to destroy something…uh…what’s the word I’m looking for here…well, he had to beat down Antonio Silva before he got his rematch. To assume that Dos Santos would receive an immediate rematch after being thrashed for five straight rounds would be preposterous to say the least. Then again, crazier things have happened.

And speaking of Antonio Silva, it appears as if the UFC has zero confidence that he will be able to get past Alistair Overeem at UFC 156, as Overeem is already being billed as the next challenger to Velasquez’s newly regained throne. That is of course until Alistair tests positive for horsewhatever in the pre-fight drug test, in turn leading Dana White to go on an epic rant about “that fucking sport killer Keith Kizer.”

Oh, MMA in 2013, please tell us that you’ll be different than you were in 2012. Because unlike Chris Leben, I can’t just mock you on Twitter while silently masking how depressing your plight has truly become.

-J. Jones

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XENOPHON- January 2, 2013 at 7:17 pm
@Teep - Me too, every time I here of awesome trilogies I think of Ken Shamrock or Tito and loose interest fast. JDS needs to learn how to deal with wrestlers before he gets another chance. Matter of fact, some boxing lessons might be in the cards too, as his over sold punching was weak sauce the other night.
ShelterZ- January 2, 2013 at 2:48 pm
I think Cigano used FACE to FIST Technique.... LOL
teep- January 2, 2013 at 2:42 pm
Trilogies aren't awesome! Why does DW keep using the word awesome anyway? I want to see new and exciting fights. I can't be the only one!
Mr_Misanthropy- January 2, 2013 at 12:16 pm
I don't get what all this "hype-deflation" is all about. This fight was very similar to the first fight except the roles were reversed. The only difference was that Cain couldn't put Jr. away.

In the first fight Cain was too worried about his gameplan and left him self open and got caught, but he got TKOTFO. Essentially the same thing happened to Jr. Yeah it was a one sided ass beating but I think that one punch put him on queer street and he just wouldn't go away. Plus Cain was on that night and didn't give him a chance to fully recover. I was amazed JR. didn't get put away at some point. I think the third fight will be a toss up.
ShelterZ- January 2, 2013 at 2:46 pm
Very Different indeed.... In FIRST fight, it was later known Cain entered with an injured knee, NOT 100% and later got caught by a LUCKY Hay-maker Cigano threw....

In Second Fight, a HEALTHY Cain, Humiliated, Destroyed and plain did what he wanted to Cigano.... NO Luck involved, and I Honestly believe Cain did NOT want to finish Cigano.... He wanted to PUNISH him for his LUCK win in First fight....
El Guapo- January 2, 2013 at 12:08 pm
Pretty sure he was being sarcastic, Gobbles. The Mexican racist couldn't break frijole smelling wind after the 2nd round, he was so gassed(Ed. note: Siiiick wordplay). Hell, he couldn't juice an orange sold on the side of a free... Naaa, that's overkill. You get the point.
Gobbleston- January 2, 2013 at 11:44 am
@cage102609 (Jesus this sites comments design is so shit. Why have a reply button if it blatantly doesn't work??) Honestly, who could say what would have happened if the fight kept going past the 5th. Who believed that after that 1st round it would not be finished? How about after the 2nd? 3rd? That shit was ridiculous. He kept on surviving. What was the weirdest is that JDS' cardio/ability seemed to have plateaued QUICKLY, but never diminished from that point on. Cain was getting visibly more and more tired. In my heart of hearts, I believe Cain's tank would eventually hit empty, while JDS' would continue to magically stay with the refuel light on, yet still going. He sounded entirely too coherent in his post fight interview.
cage102609- January 2, 2013 at 11:22 am
Actually, the strategy of JDS was to break both of Cain's hands by letting Cain repeatedly punch him in the face. Wasn't it obvious? One more round (a 6th) would have done the trick.
Gobbleston- January 2, 2013 at 11:35 am
Honestly, who could say what would have happened if the fight kept going past the 5th. Who believed that after that 1st round it would not be finished? How about after the 2nd? 3rd? That shit was ridiculous. He kept on surviving. What was the weirdest is that JDS' cardio/ability seemed to have plateaued QUICKLY, but never diminished from that point on. Cain was getting visibly more and more tired. In my heart of hearts, I believe Cain's tank would eventually hit empty, while JDS' would continue to magically stay with the refuel light on, yet still going. He sounded entirely too coherent in his post fight interview.
Gobbleston- January 2, 2013 at 11:18 am
JDS = Classiest fighter ever. Totally got his ass kicked, no mention of injury. In fact, completely honest about being in full peak shape. I HATE those fucking assholes who made him ask why they were booing him. Fuck those people.
smellypiratehooker- January 2, 2013 at 11:17 am
This was one of the few fights I found very hard to watch.
One of the most admirable facets of MMA is a fighter that will not just break when the going gets tough, and fights through adversity to come back and lay down some sweet revenge. Which was why when I was watching this fight, I found myself thinking about the double-edged sword of "being tough".
At no point after the second round did I think that Junior was gonna be able to turn the tides and land that punch that he needed or even less likely, catch Cain in a submission. Watching that fight trudge on felt sadistic and the sad part is that it probable took years off a fight career of one of the more nicer, repectable guys in MMA.
JusPal- January 2, 2013 at 10:46 am
He didn't use the wrong strategy at all. His camp was worried pre-fight about which strategy to use. In the end they decided not to use a strategy at all. Totally removed the stress of potentially choosing the wrong one.
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