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[UPDATE] Nick “Turbo Tax” Capes Suspended From Boxing Following Epic Flop in Ray Edwards “Fight”

(Only in a freakshow match like this would you hear an audience member ask “What’s he waiting for?” after approximately 4 seconds of fighting.) 

Yesterday, the world was introduced to a man by the name of Nick Capes (which based on his fighting style, we can only assume is a pseudonym for Greg “Ranger” Stott), a hapless marshmallow of a man who somehow found himself in a boxing match against former Atlanta Falcons defensive end Ray Edwards. The results were hilarious, not in the Mark Kerr vs. Ranger Stott kind of way, but in the Dan Severn vs. Shannon Ritch kind of way. Capes flopped is what we’re saying. He flopped hard. Capes flopped so hard, in fact, that he has since been indefinitely suspended from boxing in North Dakota, which should give him plenty of time to continue pushing the fighting style of RIP on methed out tweekers near and far. As reports:

Combative Sports Commissioner Al Jaeger says a video review of the fight between Nicholas Capes and a much larger Ray Edwards clearly shows Capes was not hit before he dropped to the canvas. Officials are continuing to investigate.

By “continuing to investigate,” we assume they mean “emailing this video to their entire contacts list with a subject line reading Re: Fatty takes a tumble LOLZ.

In the original Pioneer Press piece, event promoter Cory Rapacz was quoted as saying that the backlash aimed at Capes was “unfair.” However, upon reviewing the footage a couple hundred times like the rest of us, even Rapacz was forced to admit that “Turbo Tax” deserves whatever criticism that is likely headed his way in the coming weeks:

I was the promoter of the event in West Fargo, ND on Saturday night. I was misquoted. I said the criticism of Edwards is unfair. Not the criticism of Nick Capes. Thank you.

No, thank you, Cory. Thank you for providing us with a lifetime’s worth of memories in just 13 seconds of fight footage. Not since — and I’m just spitballing here — Ranger Stott vs. Mark Kerr have I been so entertained by a 50-pound mismatch that ended in triumphantly anticlimactic fashion. Other than my high school prom night, of course.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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ShadyJ- February 18, 2013 at 7:04 pm
Cory Rapacz should be banned as well. It was obviously choreographed to WWF/WWE standards down to Capes stomping his foot at the moment of strike for sound effect.
NinjaVanish- February 13, 2013 at 8:43 pm
Wow, this is insane, I watched this video and thought to myself I know that guy. I fucking know Nick Capes. He is a staple at so many mma, boxing and kickboxing matches. His first mma fight ever was against my cousin. I see him all the time at various competitions. He helps set up, then steps in and fights, then tears it down again. He actually got permanently suspended from boxing for this. Sucks, he is a nice guy and if he just trained he would do much better.
darby77- February 13, 2013 at 6:02 pm
Also, im prettie sure the lady who filmed this son fought that night, dude is a Rich Franklin doppelganger, he lost by over hand right to the body, over and over and over again. You cagepotato dudes, should have a doppelganger fighter contest for some free shit, just an idea.
darby77- February 13, 2013 at 6:00 pm

I was at these fights this past weekend, and well, lets just say that, DIO- must have written holy diver in Davenport; capt. America wasent the only Davenporter to take a dive that night.
Sloppyspray- February 13, 2013 at 4:12 pm
Correction, the most entertaining 50 lb mismatch was Travis Fulton vs. Jeremy Bullock.
Mr_Misanthropy- February 13, 2013 at 3:38 pm
@ Dang Jones

It's OK, I understand. If my date outweighed me by 50 lbs at the prom I would have taken a dive and feigned unconsciousness too.
ArmFarmer- February 13, 2013 at 3:24 pm
Why work a fight like this anyway.. if he had given 110%, it would have only delayed the result by about 20 seconds. What's the point?
cman- February 13, 2013 at 2:51 pm
he took 7 xanax to get in the ring in the first place..... he wasn't flopping, they just kicked in and that all it took to knok him out.
El Guapo- February 13, 2013 at 2:35 pm
They suspended the Ranger? But he was next in line for a shot at the Klitschko Bros! And here I thought the UFC's heavyweight division had issues..
SethF- February 13, 2013 at 2:12 pm
I don't want to pile more abuse onto Nick - he almost took a ton of it Saturday night and now can't make an extra $500 bucks the somewhat easy yet humiliating way - but damn it, did he HAVE TO wear MMA shorts during this?
J.Jones- February 13, 2013 at 2:20 pm
I hear he borrowed them from, you guessed it, Ranger Stott. Or Frank Stallone.
ReX13- February 13, 2013 at 2:09 pm
Nick "You Don't Tug on Superman's" Capes?