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Urijah Faber Throws Like a Featherweight

Urijah Faber throws first pitch
(Sandals at the ballpark? Oh, you California kids.)

Behold, Urijah Faber throws out the first pitch at a minor league baseball game last Friday.  We’re just busting his balls with the headline.  His throwing motion is acceptable for a fighter, though the intense look of concentration on his face reminds me of a six year-old playing Nintendo, suggesting that Faber really did not want to screw this whole first pitch thing up and look stupid in front of literally dozens of people at the Stockton Ports game. 

The Ports (what the hell kind of name is that for a baseball team, anyway?) went on to beat the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes 8-7, presumably after Faber lit a fire under them with an inspirational speech that enouraged them to "go out there and hit or whatever so we can get out of here and go to the strip club."

And in case you’re wondering how Faber fell so far as to get assigned minor league duties while Miguel Torres got to work a Chicago White Sox game, don’t worry.  Urijah will step up to the bigs later this month to throw out yet another ceremonial first pitch, this time for the Oakland A’s.  Don’t screw it up, meat.

Cagepotato Comments

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thebiz- May 11, 2009 at 3:14 pm
This story simply isn't blog worthy.

In the TV news business they say “If it bleeds, it leads.” In the blogosphere the adage goes “Don’t waste your time posting a story about a Urijah Faber on the field throwing like a girl unless you’ve got film of the actual throw in question.” Which doesn’t roll off the tongue quite the same way, but it’s just as important.
Mantooth- May 11, 2009 at 1:57 pm
It's Kelly Lee!!
831 Son- May 11, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Lol ben nice on the last sentence. I dont hear anyone use that anymore yet i do all the time.
831 Son- May 11, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Baseball is tight. Mainly when your actually in the stands. Urijah's square looking ass does throw like a girl though. Guaranteed.
sparkes- May 11, 2009 at 12:33 pm
no wonder the UK is one fight up, your guys play rounders :P
BeastUnleashed- May 11, 2009 at 11:56 am
LOL. He is like ready for my fastball.
Blumpkin- May 11, 2009 at 11:49 am
anything with any reference to baseball=boring...
Fucklord- May 11, 2009 at 11:46 am
Faber doesn't need a glove he catches balls in his chin cleft
C-Bus Allstar- May 11, 2009 at 11:31 am
Sandals? Really Urijah, you knew you were gonna have to throw a pitch for this thing, the least you coulda done is wear some closed-toe shoes for fuck's sake.
bpd- May 11, 2009 at 11:24 am
You do NOT want to one-hop it to the catcher in front of the Stockton crowd. I don't care if you're a pro fighter; I don't care if you're in a minor league stadium. If it's a building and there are baseball bats and the potential for Diaz brothers, your s**t better be on point.
flying gogoplata- May 11, 2009 at 11:23 am
wtf is the internet?!?

(just trying out this whole user login comment thing)
Perdew- May 11, 2009 at 11:16 am
Yeah, yeah, oscar myer even, foot long, dodger dog, a weanieee!
Perdew- May 11, 2009 at 11:15 am
what an L 7 Weenie!
x FenixKnight x- May 11, 2009 at 11:02 am
Fabers Fails

Butthole chin
Douchey hair
Sandals on the mount
Butthile chin
Tall White and Working- May 11, 2009 at 11:00 am
@ ktfo-
Yeah never posted much, but always read the site. So this is a nice change of pace. However I was hoping that these "first" nutslaps would get band, but we will see.
ktfo- May 11, 2009 at 10:48 am
nice to see you have a registration process now, i have been a long time reader of the site. i look at the site everyday. not cause you have the mma news the fastest, but because i like the write-ups. i used to post my opinions quite often but have stopped since the comments got so ridiculous and spammed out. hopefully this will clear up the bullshit and people can get back to posting semi- intelligent comments. thanks

young fab throws like a bitch
rokabee- May 11, 2009 at 10:46 am
He throws like my nephew that is lets see how torres does on the big stage.
Blumpkin- May 11, 2009 at 10:38 am
GSP P4P- May 11, 2009 at 10:36 am
who cares
?CM- May 11, 2009 at 10:36 am
first again!