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Urine Trouble: Parisyan Pops Positive for Painkillers Following UFC 94

(We could have used some painkillers during this fight too, now that you mention it. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

The Nevada State Athletic Commission has released the drug test results from UFC 94, and every fighter passed their screenings for banned substances except for Karo Parisyan, who was apparently medicated to the gills with the painkillers Hydrocodone, Hydromorphone, and Oxymorphone during his uninspiring split-decision victory over Dong Hyun Kim; Oxymorphone was also one of the painkillers that earned James Irvin a nine-month suspension following his loss to Anderson Silva in July. FiveOuncesofPain gets their pharmacist on:

Hydrocodone is a semi-synthetic opioid derived from two of the naturally-occurring opiates codeine and thebaine…Depending on its form and toxicity, Hydrocodone can be used as a narcotic.
Hydromorphone is a potent centrally-acting analgesic drug of the opioid class; it is a derivative of morphine, specifically a hydrogenated ketone thereof—therefore a semi-synthetic drug and both an opiate and a true narcotic.
Oxymorphone is related to morphine in the same fashion that oxycodone is to codeine, is derived from thebaine, and is approximately 6–8 times more potent than morphine. [It] generates more euphoria, but less itching and other histamine effects.

A surprised Karo Parisyan told MMA Weekly that he revealed all his medications on his pre-fight medical paperwork, and believed that he had followed proper procedure and was not in violation of any rules. Unfortunately he appears to be, and the ensuing punishment could jeopardize his next fight, which was rumored to be a matchup with Josh Koscheck.

Parisyan has been engaged in a widely publicized battle with panic attacks in recent months — which led to a last-second pullout from a fight against Yoshiyuki Yoshida at UFC 88 in September — but had declined to take anti-depressants to deal with the illness. Whether that decision was due to an unwillingness to complicate his life with athletic commissions, or plain old Armenian Pride, it isn’t clear — but it has now become a moot point.

Parisyan will likely face a fine and a suspension. More details to come.

Cagepotato Comments

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War Machine's Dad- March 17, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Goddamn!!! Karo was taking more shit than Rush Limbaugh was!!! That's enough narcotics to kill a small horse!!!!!
Krazy Kracker- February 11, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Kos vs Karo? You've GOT to be shitting me. I just took a nap reading that. The two biggest grinders in mma? Are there even any fans of the two? I don't think they exist. Whenever I see them on a card I involuntarily say "...meh..." It's like "Yay, now I get to see someone get hip tossed/wrestled down and laid on for 15 minutes." I want the UFC to do a test, fire Karo and time how long it takes for someone who is not Joe Rogan or Manny Gamburyan to notice.
Anonymous- February 10, 2009 at 11:00 pm
newotnek- February 10, 2009 at 10:32 pm
I was not impressed with your performance Mr. Parisyan
I felt like I was the only one that thought Joe Rogan was Karos only fan. "Brillant jiu jitsu by Karo" looks like a trip that kids use to tackle other kids in backyard football. That bones jones kid on the other had... that guy has some badass throwing skills!
lost in ok- February 10, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Karo just earned himself a new nickname, "the Heat Lamp"
Wyatt- February 10, 2009 at 7:42 pm
I hate to say I told you so... but didn't I say that this is why you don't bother taking your anxiety meds before the fight? Check the old Karo story and I mentioned this exact thing! Come on Karo, check the potato from time to time, we're giving out some great advice here!
MMA- February 10, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Keep your head up Karo
War Machine's Dad- February 10, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Fuck Karo! He's a yella belly like my good for nothing cyborg son...
The Biz- February 10, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I take painkillers all the time. Pop a couple vikes before headed to the bar...good times!
sakuraba3900- February 10, 2009 at 3:47 pm
well the only good thing that came out of that fight for Karo was that throw he landed on Dong (hehehe i said dong) it was pretty fucking sick. I still think that Karo lost that fight and now that he tested positive the ruling will be no contest or it will be overturned.
TUF Guy- February 10, 2009 at 3:24 pm
I take pain killers so that it doesn't hurt when my dad rapes me
just some dong- February 10, 2009 at 3:18 pm
karo "can't get right" parisyan
NinJay- February 10, 2009 at 3:11 pm
The best thing about Billy claiming first was that the person who really was first, and not a douche, had time to type out an entire paragraph before Billy could peck away at the keyboard to claim first.
derrick- February 10, 2009 at 3:05 pm
if they are prescribed medications from a physician who gives a fuck they shouldnt be illegal, thats like people in the olympics getting medals taken away for having a cold and taking over the counter cough medicine *BULLSHIT*
vajomach- February 10, 2009 at 2:57 pm
He's my buddy! just got that! funny...ha
CanProduce- February 10, 2009 at 2:51 pm
@ Anonymous

Hopefully the Canadian authorities get whiff of this and detain him at the border.
CanProduce- February 10, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Dammit are such an exciting fighter. Why do you do this to your 3 fans? Now i'm gonna have panic attacks. I also read somewhere that a side effect of pain killers is panic attacks...must just be a coincidence. Anyway Karo, if you're reading this...I still care for you. I still have your book and I will keep it under my pillow until you fight again. Sincerely yours...Nick Diaz
Anonymous- February 10, 2009 at 2:46 pm
I told ya dont bring this douchebag to Canada fuck him hes an idiot!!
don fryes mustache - February 10, 2009 at 2:40 pm
leave us out of this!
razzle469- February 10, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Does Dong Hyun Kim get a victory then?
BRITS ARE SMELLY- February 10, 2009 at 2:16 pm
even with the small purses, still unbelievable that anyone that puts in that much time training would even chance it. 10 times the training for a fraction of a baseball players salary. if you have an issue, back out of the fight and come back knowing that your not risking fines and suspension let alone your career! stupid!!!
pain meds, weed, roids, doesnt matter...(im not saying dont smoke weed...just dont test positive)
BRITS ARE SMELLY- February 10, 2009 at 2:13 pm
P Rs give the english a run for the money in the stench catagory.
Armfarmer- February 10, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Damn, that would have been a hell of a slugfest I think. I would love to see kos vs karo. Kos would be too much for him I think but it would be a hell of a fight.
TUF Guy- February 10, 2009 at 2:09 pm
@ lilpo0ts ,

Next time try to muster up a comment with a point
tallkitchenbags- February 10, 2009 at 2:07 pm
i thought i tasted something a little strange, but i attributed it to the fact that he's puerto rican.