(Fried chicken, biscuits, and balloons. If you think the MGM Grand has anything better to offer, you are so very wrong.)

Now that the spring of 2010 is shaping up to be an avalanche of MMA events, we must now stop OMG-ing over the fight cards long enough to deal with practical concerns such as, where the hell are we going to have these things?  For UFC Fight Night 21 on March 31st, the answer is reportedly Bojangles’ Coliseum, which sounds like the punchline to a joke about crass commercialism, but is actually a real place in Charlotte, North Carolina. 

As anyone who has ever flown out of an airport in N.C. knows, Bojangles’ Famous Chicken and Biscuits is what you will inevitably smell as soon as the plane doors are sealed and you realize everyone but you had the foresight to bring some food on this flight.  It’s also the corporate sponsor of UFC Fight Night 21′s host venue, and we very much look forward to hearing Mike Goldberg’s attempt at shouting the name with all the forced enthusiasm he can muster.

As for UFC 112 in Abu Dhabi on April 10, that’s a trickier one.  You see, there’s going to be a venue for that fight, it just doesn’t, you know, exist yet.  As UFC U.K. president Marshall Zelaznik told Steve Cofield, the future site of UFC 112 is currently a gravel pit. 

Since the event is only a few months away, does that mean we should worry?  If this were anywhere else, maybe.  But Abu Dhabi?  They can throw a skyscraper up between now and then and still have time to put a driving range on the helipad. 

A 10,000-seat arena is no problem, especially since they won’t need to worry about a real roof.  Because it will be outdoors.  In the desert.  In April.  When the temperature gets up to the mid-nineties during the day.  If there was ever a time when you could get away with greasing by chalking it up to overzealous sunscreen use, this is it.  Something to think about, Frankie Edgar.