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[VIDEO] Brock Lesnar Claims That He is “Never Coming Back” to the WWE


(How many times do I have to tell you people this? I HAVE COMMITMENT ISSUES!) 

My grandfather always told me “Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear,” a statement that would in turn lead to a lifetime’s worth of cynicism. So perhaps it’s just my general misanthropy rearing its ugly head, but when former UFC heavyweight champ Brock Lesnar released a video last night declaring that he was “never coming back” to the WWE, I was a bit skeptical. After all, Lesnar just returned to the promotion in April, and I may not follow the WWE anymore, but I’m pretty sure that Vince McMahon doesn’t hand out many five month contracts. For Christ’s sake, isn’t Ric Flair’s decomposing corpse still fighting for a retirement check that will never come?

Anyway, Lesnar released the video that awaits you after the jump, stating:

I came here and I accomplished everything that I said I was going to do. There’s nothing left for me here to conquer. I’m leaving the WWE and I’m never coming back.

Typical to Lesnar’s character, his message was succinct and to the point. Atypical of Lesnar, however, was his ability to string two sentences together without mentioning chicken salad or chicken shit.

Before you even mention it (although you undoubtedly will), I get it, Lesnar is no longer of our concern, wrestling is gay, etc. And in a way, I agree with you, homophobic notions aside of course. I haven’t watched a professional wrestling match since I was in 7th grade aside from the occasional Youtube tribute to the Stone Cold Stunner, and whatever Lesnar decides to do with his career from this point on is completely up to him. But to act as if there is no crossover between MMA and professional wrestling is blindingly ignorant, and there is little denying that Lesnar is one of the most polarizing, not to mention diverse, figures in both worlds. He converted legions of fans over to the world of MMA, and retired from the sport almost as quickly as he made an impact on it. Following the path of his career may seem as frivolous as following Gina Carano’s these days, but I don’t think we should completely turn our back on anyone who has done as much for the sport as either of those two have.

According to an article by Bleacher Report, however, which broke down last weekend’s Summerslam event, the main event bout between Lesnar and “rival” Triple H was basically a shitshow. Marred by inactivity and repetition, not to mention Lesnar breaking Triple H’s arm with a kimura again, author Tim Keeney called for an end to the feud once and for all. This could be just a case of a kneejerk overreaction to an event that failed to live up to the hype, or it could be an honest assessment of how quickly Lesnar’s flame has burned out in the WWE. Lesnar retired at the exact moment he became aware of his fleeting relevance in the UFC, and this video seems to be an acknowledgement of a similar mindset regarding his career in professional wrestling. But perhaps I am just reading too far into things.

This leads me to ask: Has Lesnar truly reached the end of the road as far as his sporting career is concerned, or is this just another ploy by the WWE to boost his popularity? Or will we see Lesnar attempt to recapture NFL glory next?

Discuss. Complain. Lament. Whatever.

-J. Jones

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Crow42- August 22, 2012 at 10:27 pm
Cena vs leaner was awesome
ric chair- August 21, 2012 at 4:54 pm
And when has anyone cited Bleacher Report as an authority on ANYTHING?
ric chair- August 21, 2012 at 4:52 pm
It's pretty funny that a site that mocks pro wrestling is fooled by a gimmicked social media release. Making you no better than the marks you put down. Stop "reporting" this stuff
Whitemare- August 21, 2012 at 2:40 pm
hey J.jones is your grandfather Marvin Gaye cuz you stole that line from "Heard it through the grapevine"
Alan K- August 21, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Do you want the opinion of someone who actually watches professional wrestling? It's a work. It's a continuance of kayfabe. In laymen's terms, it's Brock blowing smoke out his ass. He'll be back by November at the earliest and definitely by January so he can prepare for his Wrestlemania match. And Brock didn't release a video. He released a Tout. If only you knew how deep the depths of social media truly is and WWE through millions of dollars into that abyss.

I'm guessing that by talking about wrestling I'll probably be called a faggot so good day to you all.
SethF- August 21, 2012 at 6:40 pm
I will defend you.
algiersheadkick504- August 21, 2012 at 2:24 pm
brock lesner vs bob sapp super fight...not maby other options after that
Festizzeo- August 21, 2012 at 11:11 am
I liked it when he did the flying spaz from the top rope, landed directly on his head, then got up and started dribbling cerebrospinal fluid all over the ring. In fact, if wrestling was like that every week I'd probably watch it.
Pen Fifteen- August 21, 2012 at 10:52 am
Lesnar clearly has something going for him if he can get a bunch of MMA marks to believe that he's really done with wrestling. If that match sucked, it sucked because of Triple H. His match with Cena was awesome, and seeing Lesnar give Cena a bloody mouth on live TV was the best thing I've seen in wrestling all year.

To clue everyone in, it's speculated they'll rematch in November at Survivor Series, which will lead to an intervention on behalf of Undertaker on behalf of the "old guard," setting up Lesnar-Undertaker at Wrestlemania, thus finally delivering on the plant for a story line that was set during a fucking UFC event nearly two years ago at this point.

Really, I don't know how you couldn't love Brock Lesnar. He's one of a handful of people in the history of wrestling to become bigger than the business, and certainly the only person in the history of MMA.
SethF- August 21, 2012 at 10:29 am
The problem with Lesnar in WWE really IS that he's using "real" moves now. The fans don't want to see a huge, jacked guy like Lesnar end fights with kimuras, for the same reason fans are getting sick of watching The Undertaker gogoplata fools. They want to see feats of strength from their big guys. The F-5 was an awesome finisher for him, yet now they're trying to sell that he's a "real" fighter...which, you know, highlights how fake the rest of the stuff is. Just like with theatre, we know it's fake, but that doesn't mean having an actor scream out "My name isn't actually Romeo it's Jason! And you aren't actually in England, you're in a theatre in New Orleans!" won't ruin the show in some way.
Viva Hate- August 21, 2012 at 10:25 am
Wake me when he fights Mike Awesome, Owen Hart, Umaga, Dr. Death Steve Williams, Test, Crush, Bad News Brown, Bam Bam Bigelow, Earthquake, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Candido , The Big Bossman , Hercules, Crash Holly , Road Warrior Hawk, "Mr Perfect" Curt Hennig , Rocco Rock , Johnny Grunge, The British Bulldog, Big Dick Dudley, Yokozuna, Macho Man Randy Savage, Giant Gonzalez, Bastion Booger, Lance Cade, Chris Kanyon, Ludvig Borga, Dino Bravo, or Chris Beniot.
angry little feet- August 21, 2012 at 9:50 am
Your grandfather had a very good point, Danga. My gran always said "Never expect a goddamn thing and you'll never be disappointed." A wise bunch that generation must have been.
Kid Clam Curtains- August 21, 2012 at 9:21 am
braaaap
TellaTruth- August 21, 2012 at 9:19 am
when it comes to WWE, shallow is where its at. you'll be mad at yourself later for trying to over analyze this.
Caralho- August 21, 2012 at 9:13 am
Bitches don't know about kayfabe.

This is probably an angle by the WWE, and my guess is that you'll see him again soon. The deal he signed was for a limited number of appearances, and this is likely their way of writing that into whatever storyline they have going on leading up to Wrestlemania.
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