5. Chris “Red Bull” Willems vs Akoni Nakila (9 seconds).
He may not be a big name yet, but what a debut for Chris Willems at Rumble on the Rock: Beatdown IV. We’ve all seen this video, but damn if it isn’t fun to watch over and over again. The only reason this fight lasted 9 seconds is because they danced around a bit before Willems landed that monster high kick to Nakila’s unguarded melon. Gotta’ keep those hands up, Son! The sound of foot against face is deafening and the slo-mo reveals something flying from Nakila’s mouth. We’re guessing it’s his soul.
4. Takanori Gomi vs Ralph Gracie (6 seconds).
Did anyone imagine someone with the name “Gracie” eating it so fast? After refusing to touch gloves like most classy competitors, Ralph goes for the standard Gracie takedown and gets caught with a knee. When his opponent’s mug hits the mat, Gomi decides to introduce him to his knee again – not once, but about six or seven times. It should be noted that Gomi could’ve knocked himself out during his jackass tightrope celebration after the win. Not that it would’ve changed the fact that Ralph got his ass kicked.
3. Joey Villasenor vs Hank Weis (5 seconds).
It was at King of the Cage: New Mexico where Hank Weis decided to focus on guarding himself from Joey Villasenor’s powerful right. Good strategy if Joey didn’t have a left arm. Weis makes his move, Villasenor jacks him with one of the hardest lefts we’ve seen, and Weis is in dreamland before he hits the ground. Lucky for ‘Ol Hank that he went down when he did – if Villasenor’s follow up right had fully landed, Hank’s head might have ended up in the ninth row.
2. Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto vs Kazuyuki Miyata (4 seconds).
Everyone knew Kid had the advantage, but a handful figured the previously un-knocked out Miyata would make a go of it. Unfortunately for Miyata, he was too busy trying to stay loose when the bell started the match. Two seconds later, the Kid’s crotch is in his face and then he’s tasting the flying knee. Four seconds into the match – well, he doesn’t really remember that. Kid’s biggest workout of the match was his celebration.
1. Chris “The Menace” Clements vs Lautaro Tucas (3 seconds).
This knockout from May 2006 was so devastating for Lautaro Tucas that he has yet to fight again. Which is a shame, considering his crowd-pleasing style: Run at your opponent at full speed, then jump up as you fly in at him. Oh yeah, and make sure you keep your arms at your side and keep your chin extended – it makes it easier to ensure you’re eating the mat within a second. Gotta’ love the announcers laughing as they watch it back in slow motion.
Did we leave anything out? If so, post some video links in the comments section…