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[VIDEO] Cristiane Cyborg Put on a Muay Thai Clinic Against Jennifer Colomb Last Friday Because of Course She Did

If any of you are like me, you probably can’t watch a video of Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino savaging some hapless opponent without running through a list of “What Ifs” and “Reasons to Hate Tito Ortiz.” What if Cyborg hadn’t asked to be released from the UFC? What if she somehow managed to secure a fight with Ronda Rousey? What if Ortiz hadn’t nuked her career with a series of awkward non sequiturs? (Author’s note: Hopefully the latter can be answered when Ortiz and his besties crash Dana White’s quinceanera or whatever it is they plan on doing.)

It’s a moot issue at this point, but we triple dog dare you to watch Cyborg’s victory over the previously undefeated (and late replacement opponent) Jennifer Colomb at Lion Fight 11 without asking the same questions. Although the fight went down last Friday, a full video of their two round Muay Thai bout has only recently been made available, likely because it was being used as evidence in an assault case filed against Justino that has since been dropped.

As for the fight itself…what would you expect? Cyborg swarms Colomb with a Tasmanian Devil-esque flurry of punches, kicks, knees, spinning backfists/elbows, haidukens, ice freeze attacks, Falcon punches and Bob-ombs at every conceivable opportunity until Colomb just sort of wilts from the sheer magnitude of it all. I’m telling you, have Cyborg strap on (HOLD IT) a face mask and some skates and she would have Milan Lucic shitting out his own eyeballs within the first period.

This is normally where I’d ask an obvious question — something like “Are there any intriguing non-UFC fights left for Cyborg?” — but we all know that answer.

In conclusion: Down with Primetime 360, up with Entertainment 720.

*drops mic*

-J. Jones

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