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Video: Dan Quinn’s Emotional Farewell to Ross Clifton

As many of you know, gone-before-his-time super-heavyweight Ross Clifton was a friend and training partner to batshit Stevia spokesperson Dan Quinn. We decided to cruise over to Quinn’s YouTube channel to see if he had released a statement about Clifton, and sure enough, there’s this 11-minute missive that he recorded last night. Quinn describes Clifton as an angel who was already penciled in as the Little John to his Robin Hood. Then, he shows us a strange Craigslist w4m ad that he came across, and the even stranger 5,000-word manifesto that he wrote in response. (The best part comes at 5:58: "I’m thinking this is definitely worth the price of admission to a cool coffee place of your choosing. Multiple exits, tons of people, as safe a coffee date as there ever was one." Note to Craigslist surfers: Trying to reassure your prospective hookups that they will definitely not get fritzl’d usually has the opposite effect.) Later, Quinn’s tough-guy facade begins to crack, and he tries to bury the hatchet with arch-nemesis Cal Worsham, and vows to avenge the wife and children of Clifton, should they ever come to harm. Sorry for your loss, Maitreya.

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UFC fan- September 8, 2009 at 8:25 pm
whats up with the fucking spammers Ben?
ElSuperTerrible- September 7, 2009 at 7:30 am
I used to spend more time than I care to admit wondering who was crazier, Dan Quinn or the guy on the corner near my work who spends all day playing air guitar and listening to oversized headphones that aren't connected to anything. With the simple phrase "human/cat water-based organism body", Quinn ended the debate once and for all.

Oh, and about that position you mentioned Dan...where do I send my resume?
Cock Chestner- September 7, 2009 at 1:41 am
such a shame, i was so pumped for clifton shamrock 2.
Casa de los pantelones- September 7, 2009 at 12:42 am
Dan Quinn for president

Reporter in audience as Presidential inauguration: "Mr. Quinn, now that you are President, how do you plan on improving the economy, or our nation for that matter?"

Dan Quinn: "Uhh, you know what...Uhh playboy, check it out. How's this for improvements: Stevia dispensing machines on every corner. Yeah, playboy...That's real. I'm talking stevia served in cafeterias, old folks homes, you name it playboy. And to all those other motherfuckers out there who still doubt me, well uhh, check this out playboys; How's this for improvement as well, Peaches the cat just turned 30. Yeah, uhh...I didn't studder motherfuckers. I can speak 60 words a minute and Im ripped. Peaches the cat, laying in the corner over there...30 years old, stevia infused in her motherfucking body. That's real and that's stevia. Its no fairy tale playboy, it's the motherfucking real deal, like Holyfield, my jelly is congealed,...uhhh, ha, yeah.

lol! I love him...he should have his own comedy 4 hour special with him just speaking...thats it.
Casa de los pantelones- September 7, 2009 at 12:22 am
@UFC Fan

I'm still laughing at your post and I read it five minutes ago.

You, my friend, should post like that more often...pure comedy!
831 Son- September 6, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Pussy little BITCH. ^^^
UFC fan- September 6, 2009 at 10:15 pm
yeah ANOTHER wasted goddamn thread about people I don't give a flying monkey fuck about talking about dead guys and stevia, and stupid fucking morons posting about it. goddamn stupid long weekend, no news having website.
At this point BJ jumping out of the pool is better fucking news.
OR maybe Tito jumping out of his wifes cunt, now that would be an athletic move.
Walrus- September 6, 2009 at 7:01 pm
No shirt, dank nugs and batshit crazy dreams of grandeur go together to form one friggin' insane lunatic.

reddog- September 6, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Stevia has one use, as a natural sugar alternative. That's it. Everything else is just anecdotal bullshit. It's 21st century snakeoil. It's EXTENZE for fat fucks. But go ahead and waste money on that placebo.

Dan Quinn will save the planet, one meth hit and rambling pointless speech at a time.
deadflag- September 6, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Im actually thinking of doing the pound a month challenge thanks to dan quinn's complete insanity. If this gives me cancer, I blame Mixed Martial Arts as a whole.
Horror Fighter- September 6, 2009 at 2:31 pm

I'd love to see her reaction.

I don't know anything about Stevia, but I don't think "typing 60 words a minute" is much of a benefit -- unless, of course, you're wearing a tin-foil hat while sitting at the keyboard. That really throws off your keystrokes.

Rest in peace, Ross.
Maitreyan disciple- September 6, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Hey scumbag, its not a GNC wannabe product, its the cure for the human body. If you got your head out of your rump you might see that Dan Quinn is a stud, and potential savior for planet earth.
grits207- September 6, 2009 at 1:55 pm
$100 says Cal Worsham is found dead within a week with "STEVIA" carved into his chest.
Anhonestmoose- September 6, 2009 at 1:39 pm
RIP Ross, my condolences to the family and friends. That being said, if you are trying to make a eulogy to someone, maybe stick to the subject at hand and leave the stevia talk for another time. Furthermore, if you are attempting to convince another individual of your intelligence perhaps you should avoid expressions such as "hella smart" and the like.
Rich S.- September 6, 2009 at 11:52 am
Btw, I type hella fast... and I'm hella smart.. thanks to Stevia..
Rich S.- September 6, 2009 at 11:48 am
Good lord..
We know this guy is obsessed with Stevia.. But, seriously?

How could you start some random, loony speech about politics and conspiracies and what not, and then start informing the person on Stevia?

This dude is freaking crazy.. but that's nothing new..
reddog- September 6, 2009 at 9:18 am
Yup, the world needs more crystal meth addicts pushing bullshit GNC wannabe products.
punchguyinface- September 6, 2009 at 8:27 am
MMA and the world needs more people like Dan Quinn
RearNakedPoke- September 6, 2009 at 8:23 am
dan quinn is crazy but thanks to him i tried Stevia and in 2 MONTHS i have shed 25lbs of fat. this stuff works and i dont care what he does or says......thank you dan quinn
Stinkydeelux- September 6, 2009 at 8:20 am
Condolences to Ross's family, and Dan Quinn. Also, on a side note, I expect any post with Dan Quinn as a component to be searchable with the simple 'batshitinsane' tag. Thanks.
Clyde- September 6, 2009 at 7:40 am
It's what Ross would have wanted.