As many of you know, gone-before-his-time super-heavyweight Ross Clifton was a friend and training partner to batshit Stevia spokesperson Dan Quinn. We decided to cruise over to Quinn’s YouTube channel to see if he had released a statement about Clifton, and sure enough, there’s this 11-minute missive that he recorded last night. Quinn describes Clifton as an angel who was already penciled in as the Little John to his Robin Hood. Then, he shows us a strange Craigslist w4m ad that he came across, and the even stranger 5,000-word manifesto that he wrote in response. (The best part comes at 5:58: "I’m thinking this is definitely worth the price of admission to a cool coffee place of your choosing. Multiple exits, tons of people, as safe a coffee date as there ever was one." Note to Craigslist surfers: Trying to reassure your prospective hookups that they will definitely not get fritzl’d usually has the opposite effect.) Later, Quinn’s tough-guy facade begins to crack, and he tries to bury the hatchet with arch-nemesis Cal Worsham, and vows to avenge the wife and children of Clifton, should they ever come to harm. Sorry for your loss, Maitreya.
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commentsOh, and about that position you mentioned Dan...where do I send my resume?
Reporter in audience as Presidential inauguration: "Mr. Quinn, now that you are President, how do you plan on improving the economy, or our nation for that matter?"
Dan Quinn: "Uhh, you know what...Uhh playboy, check it out. How's this for improvements: Stevia dispensing machines on every corner. Yeah, playboy...That's real. I'm talking stevia served in cafeterias, old folks homes, you name it playboy. And to all those other motherfuckers out there who still doubt me, well uhh, check this out playboys; How's this for improvement as well, Peaches the cat just turned 30. Yeah, uhh...I didn't studder motherfuckers. I can speak 60 words a minute and Im ripped. Peaches the cat, laying in the corner over there...30 years old, stevia infused in her motherfucking body. That's real and that's stevia. Its no fairy tale playboy, it's the motherfucking real deal, like Holyfield, my jelly is congealed,...uhhh, ha, yeah.
lol! I love him...he should have his own comedy hour...no 4 hour special with him just speaking...thats it.
I'm still laughing at your post and I read it five minutes ago.
You, my friend, should post like that more often...pure comedy!
At this point BJ jumping out of the pool is better fucking news.
OR maybe Tito jumping out of his wifes cunt, now that would be an athletic move.
Dan Quinn will save the planet, one meth hit and rambling pointless speech at a time.
I'd love to see her reaction.
I don't know anything about Stevia, but I don't think "typing 60 words a minute" is much of a benefit -- unless, of course, you're wearing a tin-foil hat while sitting at the keyboard. That really throws off your keystrokes.
Rest in peace, Ross.
We know this guy is obsessed with Stevia.. But, seriously?
How could you start some random, loony speech about politics and conspiracies and what not, and then start informing the person on Stevia?
This dude is freaking crazy.. but that's nothing new..
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