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[VIDEO] Dana White Bashes Soccer, Retired MLS Defender Jimmy Conrad Issues Open Challenge in Response

(A rose for every bridge you have burned, Mr. White.) 

It looks like soccer players and fans alike have joined the growing legion of people that loathe, or at least don’t take kindly to Dana White’s opinion. For those keeping track, the list includes women, homosexuals, Fedor Emelianenko fanshardcore PRIDE and WEC fans, SpikeTV, the Internet, and the state of Oklahoma, among others. It’s like they say: to make an omelet, you have to break enough eggs to make that same omelet five times over.

Before we get to the challenge issued by former MLS Defender of the Year Jimmy Conrad, let’s do a little backtracking. It all started when White, in his infinite wisdom, stated at the Calgary press conference that the sport of soccer was basically a talentless bunch of nonsense that anyone with basic motor skills could perform. If that wasn’t bad enough, he then declared that he had beaten David Beckham in a game of horse soccer and that Pele was a fraud before farting into the microphone and storming off. Surely this wouldn’t piss off any fans of the biggest sport on the mother effing planet, right?


After hearing these comments, Conrad emerged with the fire of a thousand suns in his eyes and challenged DW to put his foot somewhere else than his mouth for once. The following ultimatum was made while Conrad masked a rage that would turn a lump of coal into a blood diamond between his buttcheeks:

Why would a tough guy like you feel so threatened by soccer that you needed to go off on it unprovoked? Is it maybe because you know the one thing any three-year-old can do is fight? Hell, mine spent a whole year fighting me. But that shouldn’t threaten you. I’m pretty you could hype a fight between two three-year-olds and make it the biggest thing since the “Thrilla in Manilla.” But you wouldn’t do that, would you? Because you know that three-year-olds don’t understand the techniques, or tactics, or subtleties of your sport. Well, same goes for ours…. Here’s what I’m going to do. Because I like you, I’m going to give you the opportunity to join me and a few friends for a game of soccer. Since you believe playing soccer requires no talent, I’m sure you’ll be the star. Unless you’re scared.

Being the gamesman that he is, Dana took to Twitter just a few minutes ago and accepted the challenge:

I said yes you soccer freaks. I’m in LOL, calm down.

And with that emphatic “LOL,” the battle between soccer hooligans and MMA skinheads worldwide hath been declared, for the almighty power of the Triforce, nonetheless. Sadly, the war against broad, sport-based stereotypes wages on, but that is for another day. For today marks the inception of the most epic soccer challenge since the great Kenny Florian/Jose Aldo juggle-off of 2011. So dust off those vuvuzelas, break out your finest face and chest paints, and let the war begin.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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linzhanav- April 8, 2012 at 9:49 am . .. . . . .
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ytrebil- April 4, 2012 at 3:00 pm
This is a VERY stupid thing of Dana to say... well ignorant to put it mildly. In Europe and probably the majority of South America, Russia etc it is every young boy's dream to be a football (soccer) player. It's a huge, worldwide sport that isn't rivalled by anything let alone MMA. Out of all of those hundreds of millions of young footballers, only a handful get to play at the top of the game (La Liga, English Premier League, Serie A and the Bundeslige really). So if you compare the top tier of MMA with the top tier of football, comparatively speaking, taking into account the competition of each sport, football (soccer) has a much higher relative skilled level than MMA. Any competitive sport has skilled people at the top of their games and if anyone says anything other wise (any sport we are talking about here) they are a moron.
towelie- April 4, 2012 at 1:03 pm
Jon Fitch's last fight was pretty exciting. I've never wondered why everyone hates Americans, but I guess haters gonna hate.
linzhanar- April 4, 2012 at 10:08 am
Irishwolfhound491- April 4, 2012 at 9:00 am
Have played/watched Soccer for about a decade and watched MMA for about 5 years and I think that trying to draw comparisons to them is like trying to make the connection between Chael Sonnen's brain and reality: it just can't be done. They're just far too different sports. Sure you can complain soccer is boring, but then you have break aways, near saves by alert defenders, spectacular shots foiled, slide tackles, and Zidane head butting some schmuck talkin foul bout his momma. Sure you can say MMA is exciting, but then there's Jon Fitch. Every sport has it's dull lulls and it's crazy "holy shit did you just see that?!" moments. Don't gotta hate on one just to enjoy the other.
HEY- April 4, 2012 at 8:48 am
I believe it's pronounced "foootbol".
RwilsonR- April 4, 2012 at 8:00 am
No need to be so sensitive Dagnut. And I think the reason most Americans hate the rest of the world is because of statements starting with, "...ever wonder why everyone hates Americans?"

It is pretty obvious that the reason most of us like MMA so much is because of how horrible all these other sports are. Whether it is baseball, basketball, football, soccer, cricket... they all are pretty fucking boring. For me, American football would be the best of the bunch, but I wouldn't blame a foreigner for not liking it. I have to say that rugby actually seems like a pretty cool sport, though I can't say for sure since I don't know much about it. To that point, I don't think Dana was shitting on foreign sports so much as boring sports. He talks about golf like it is an affront to humanity, and that has at least equal popularity here as it does elsewhere in the world.

And I have to imagine that the reason for all the crowd energy and brawls you describe at a soccer game are all necessary to give people at the stadium something to do other than have to watch the boring shit on the field.
Dagnut- April 4, 2012 at 8:20 am
Hey I don't hate Americans I've spent a lot of time there and you won't find cooler people anywhere....but Dana White characters "You're all a bunch of fags" " U S A U S A" that crap really winds people is boring if you don't understand it...I like grid iron football but it's the ad breaks and constant stoppages that put people of watching full games...the rules of soccer are constantly changed to keep the game is without question the ultimate team sport...if 1 of 11 players has a bad game it puts the team at a huge the uneducated it looks like nothing is happening,much like the groundgame in MMA,but it's a constant battle of possession and exposing weaknesses..2 good teams will cancel each other out ..much like bjj....both disciplines the Brazilians excel at
ArmFarmer- April 4, 2012 at 7:13 am
"don’t even get me started…baseball..well could you invent a more boring format if you tried?" Maybe if you tried.. maybe.. probably not though.
Dagnut- April 4, 2012 at 4:12 am
And you wonder why everyone hates Amercians? We don't need feel the need to rag on your 4 hour drawn out ad fests that you call team sports? I'm a huge NBA fan but watching a full game live is so fcuking frustrating..ADS...ADS...foul...time out for american football? don't even get me could you invent a more boring format if you tried? It is pointless comparing a combat sport to a team sport least watching football( not soccer) you get 45 min half's ..15 minute break for ads..taking a piss.. getting a beer etc ..I went to the garden to watch the Knicks and it was so dull I couldn't believe atmosphere...300 dollar seats...more people interested in waving at the cameras and looking at themselves on the screen... total rubbish...go to a decent football match and witness the atmosphere..makes the hairs on your neck stand up..then go to one where a full scale brawl kicks off and experience that kind of mass hysteria and adrenaline rush...nothing compares to it..
Foolio- April 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm
id watch soccer over basketball any day... so boring
omunto- April 3, 2012 at 6:43 pm
I've played soccer for 23 years, and have only been competing in combat sports for 7 or so. I can honestly say soccer is right up there on boring ass sports to watch. Of course I love playing it, but aside form watching huge international tournaments, why bother. Alternatively, I would watch any video footage of a fight I can get my hands on, regardless of what event, and watch with great excitement.

But with all that said, all professional level sports require a level of skill and determination the normal person doesn't possess. To say otherwise is pretty ridiculous.
RwilsonR- April 3, 2012 at 6:12 pm
I don't know why Dana said soccer players aren't talented. They are incredibly talented. They are just incredibly talented at playing a really fucking boring and stupid sport.
ctownhood- April 3, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Kenny Florian and Dominic Cruz played soccer in college. And, Jose Aldo played pro soccer in Brazil. Seems stupid to bag on soccer when 2 of the guys carrying belts in your organization played.
ArmFarmer- April 3, 2012 at 5:11 pm
I don't like soccer because it's boring, low scoring games, and the athletes have been encouraged to take up acting and faking injuries to get an advantage in the game. That said, it's definitely not easy and Dana is being an ignorant dick. You don't have to like a sport to respect it's athletes
GrandShamrock- April 3, 2012 at 3:56 pm
3 year olds don't play soccer, they just kick a ball, it's like saying 3 year old do collegiate wrestling just because they hug and roll. It's like saying that kicking randomly is karate or muay thai. Soccer is a team sport, where the difficulty relies that you are kicking a ball with your FEET. You are not running around with the ball in your hands, you are kicking it with your FEET. 3 year olds throw balls with their hands, so NBA is easy for everyone to join in. Bad arguments.
Alan K- April 3, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Horse soccer? More like horse shit, amirite?
Please don't trample me to death.
The12ozCurls- April 3, 2012 at 3:01 pm
Another thing, I really wanted to see Dana White get on top of that table, squat down and rip a giant fart into the microphone. That would have been the greatest thing ever.
The12ozCurls- April 3, 2012 at 2:59 pm
Damn, Jimmy Conrad appears to be quite the alpha-male. You know where he would truly be loved - prison.
Onan- April 3, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Dana used to teach aerobics so we know he's got mad kicking skills.
The_Dead_Cow- April 3, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Fuck soccer and fuck the triforce. Both those games are for little kids. If they wanna settle their differences like men, they should have a connect 4 tourney.
superdude- April 3, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Chael is off the hook in Brazil if Dana talked any shit about PELE.
orka- April 3, 2012 at 1:34 pm
This is why Lorenzo - who is a far more intelligent, collected, articulate and publicly liked figure - should be speaking more often on behalf of the UFC instead of Dana.
mDino- April 3, 2012 at 1:33 pm
danas heart is black. theres no way he could obtain the triforce of courage. Duh.
Fried Taco- April 3, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Oh please, my 10 year old niece and nephew would run circles around DW in soccer. He is just doing this as a publicity stunt.