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VIDEO: Donald Cerrone Lassos Alex Oliveira, Claims Sole Ownership of “Cowboy” Nickname

While the triumphant freakshow that was Bellator 149 may be getting all the coverage, the UFC put on a decent little show of their own over the weekend. Though not without its fair share of unfortunate, injury-related withdrawals, Fight Night 83 wasn’t the worst night of fights by a long shot. And hey, no one almost died! (Too soon? Too soon.)

In the evening’s main event, Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone dueled with late replacement Alex “Cowboy” Oliveira in the former’s first trip up to the welterweight division. Word had it that the loser of the match would have to change his nickname to “Ranch Hand” per a gentleman’s agreement made in the locker room, but that’s neither here nor there. In an effort to once again remind us that it’s not all head kicks and “fuck you kicks” when it comes to Donald Cerrone, the former title challenger took Oliveira to the mat early and, for lack of a better word, just tooled him from there.

The triangle that Cerrone locked up just over halfway through the round had Oliveira tapping faster than that time Sage Northcutt put on an uncomfortably tight, ab-smothering turtleneck, so check out the full highlights from the fight above.

Elsewhere on the Fight Night 83 card, UFC veterans Chris Camozzi and Joe Riggs faced off, and if you’ve been wondering how much “Diesel” has left in the tank (nailed it), then this fight will probably not be a fun thing to watch for you.

I know it’s been said before, but Joe Riggs has got to be the oldest looking 33-year-old since…people started living past 33, I guess. I understand that chopping one’s own dick off can’t be good method of preserving one’s youth (when you’re in you early 30′s at least), but someone needs to show that guy, like, moisterizer or something. I swear that I saw a fine layer of ash fly off his face when Camozzi landed that jab.

Main Card
Donald Cerrone def. Alex Oliveira via submission (triangle choke) (R1, 2:33)
Derek Brunson def. Roan Carneiro via first-round TKO (2:38)
Cody Garbrandt def. Augusto Mendes via first-round TKO (4:18)
Dennis Bermudez def. Tatsuya Kawajiri via unanimous decision (29-28 x3)
Chris Camozzi def. Joe Riggs via first-round TKO (0:26)
James Krause def. Shane Campbell via unanimous decision (29-28 x3)


Sean Strickland def. Alex Garcia via third-round TKO (4:25)
Oluwale Bamgbose def. Daniel Sarafian via first-round KO (1:00)
Anthony Smith def. Leonardo Augusto Guimares via unanimous decision (29-28 x3)
Nathan Coy def. Jonavin Webb via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Ashlee Evans-Smith def Marion Reneau via split-decision, (30-27, 28-29, 29-27)
Lauren Murphy def. Kelly Faszholz via TKO (Round 3, 4:55)
Shamil Abdurakhimov def. Anthony Hamilton via unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)

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