(We’ll always have South Bend. VidProps: YouTube/Marijuana Muscle)

Well, for once it turned out Dan Quinn wasn’t just bullshitting us. The World’s Most Craziest Man really did fight UFC vet and former reality TV star Aaron Brink in some kind of bizarre-o “striking only” bout last night. Not to ruin it for you, but the results are sadly predictable for anyone who knows,  in general, what a bad idea it is to sanction a fight featuring A) A crazy man or B) A guy who just got out of jail. In this case, Dan Quinn falls into both categories. (Ed. Note: Somewhere in the bowels of the San Diego lock-up, I hope you’re paying attention, War Machine. This is your future.)

Perhaps the California State Athletic Commission has some kind of minimum required amount of mental illness that must be present in the cage at all times, because some genius opted to let our man Sensei Cecil referee this bad boy. Homey plays it pretty straight during the first round, but then breaks out his patented karate chop to begin round two.  If you don’t want  further spoilers, don’t follow the jump until after you’ve watched the “fight.”

More than anything, this video underscores what a slow and painful death it is to work the corner of a fighter who simply won’t follow your instructions. You can sit there and yell, “Your strikes, Dan! Throw combos! Right now!” all you want, but the sad truth is that Dan just isn’t going to throw those combos. Not right now, not ever. He might sling some wild punches in the general vicinity of Brink’s face a few times, but mostly he’s going to cover up and wait for Brink to pin him against the cage and knee him in the gut.

True to form, there seems to be some confusion about how and when this fight is supposed to end as well. After Quinn is knocked down and clearly finished early in the second, it looks for a little while like Peoples might let him continue. Then the “doctor” – we’re putting that in quotes because we assume no legitimate physician would ever be associated with some sad shit like this – enters the cage and has a look. Shortly thereafter, the “ref” – quotes self-explanatory – waves it off.

Not sure how this loss is going to affect Dan Quinn’s main thesis about his fighting career: That he could have been one of the greats if only promoters had given him a chance and pussies would’ve stood up with him and fought him like a man. Best guess: Not at all. Chalk this one up to an off night, we’re thinking. For whatver reason, Quinn just doesn’t seem to be his Stevia-snorting self in there, though he does appear to snarf down a big spoonful of it between rounds.

If only someone would produce a lengthy and rambling YouTube video to let us know exactly what went wrong here …