(Props: FearNo12012)

…okay, he doesn’t really call 911. He pretends to, as part of an improvisational comedy routine titled "Randy Couture, I’mma Beatcho Ass." It’s kind of amazing, actually, and a lot more focused than Toney’s previous insane YouTube callout efforts. See, when Frank Mir threatens to kill somebody in the Octagon, he loses his WEC color-man gig and is forced to apologize to Brock Lesnar. When James "Lights Out" Toney does it? Pure magic.

Of course, there are a few other things that stand out in the video. First off, Toney is training at the M-1 Global gym in Chatsworth, California — which puts the Dark Emperor just one degree of separation away from the Last Emperor — and yeah, that’s Juanito Ibarra creeping around back there. Toney also mentions that he has a boxing match scheduled against WBA heavyweight champ David Haye on October 1st, just five weeks after the Couture fight at UFC 118. Talk about optimistic. And yes, Toney plans on murdering Haye as well. And getting away with it. And getting paid for it. A lotta money. Mucho dinero. Mucho mugambo. Mmm.

After the jump: Even more of James Toney shouting at a hand-held camera.



(You ever notice how nobody can keep a straight face when James Toney is talking?)